Imagine a world where everyone has a superpower. ..

[omggirlonthenet]

Now, of course, you have to understand that if everyone has a power, and everyone's power is more or less unique, then about 90% of those powers are, frankly, going to suck.

Some examples of useless powers:
*Teleport Dog ~ You can teleport a dog exactly six miles south. (Only works on one dog at a time)
*Exact Change ~ Whatever you're buying day to day, you always have exact change for it in your pocket. (But only in coins, no paper bills and it has to be part of your net worth)
*State Line Sense ~ You know exactly when you've crossed the state line. (Not so useful in this day in age as it was back for the bootleggers. And probably headache-inducing if you're flying somewhere)
*One-Inch Levitation ~ Levitate yourself (or anything not nailed down) but only one inch off the ground!
*Reese's Touch ~ Everything you touch turns into Reese's Pieces (or mini peanut butter cups)
*Speak Whale ~ You can speak whale (somewhat more useful in coastal areas than landlocked ones)
*Summon Wasp ~ Just one. Better hope your enemy is allergic (and that you can control the wasp once you've summoned it)
*Teflon Words ~ Whatever you write down slides right off again (particularly bothersome for teachers!)
*Caffeinate Liquids (probably useful for broke college students!)

But the possibilities are literally endless! Use one of these or make up your own! You can even use the handy-dandy Useless Superhero Generator if you want to.
Post your name and canon in the header and your powers in the box, or hell, make up a new one for each thread, it's all for fun, I'm not the boss of you!

Comments

Katsura Kotaro // Gintama

[keepcalmandbomb]

[ omg so cool real useless superpowers ]

Jamie // Megas XLR

[petmonkeything]

/THE LATEST OOPS also kick me on Skype if you can't work with this and I'll think of something else

[prosmashing]

[ Jamie tends to be annoying fairly often, but there's a moment when he's being a particular pain in the ass while Coop is trying to beat his high score, which is very important. And there's a fleeting thought in that moment, of wishing Jamie would be somewhere else.

And suddenly he's gone. ]

/perfect

[petmonkeything]

[ But this game is boring and Coop is taking too long with all of the preparations. While Jamie can deal with aligning the consoles and pizza pieces, it's a bit too much when he has to leave his corner on the couch to make room for high score food. And that's probably why he's making a grab for the controller with his spider arms in a vain attempt to wring it out of Coop's hold. ]

Just start it already!

[ ...he only gets as much as a touch of a button when he suddenly finds himself on top of the roof, next to the TV antenna. And his first reflex is to hug the damn chimney, screaming. ]

AAAGH!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO --

[ wait a minute ]

-- hey. This is Earth.

[ Scratches hat, though still holding on. Man what the hell just happened and how is he going to get down? ]

[ Meanwhile, Coop will find that his start button has become an actual button used in clothing, and the narrower hole for the actual key is blocking it from being effectively pressed. Whoops. ]

Excellent

[prosmashing]

[ Coop freezes.

No. No. This can't be happening. It can't be it can't be maybe if he stares at the button long enough it'll disappear and go back to normal or he'll wake up from some horrible dream or. Where the hell did Jamie go this must be his fault.

Then he sucks in a breath. And makes a decision! ]

I won't let some silly button stand in the way of my high score!

[ And he starts pushing the button furiously. GO. DOWN. ]

/o/

[petmonkeything]

[ Holding on the chimney with one arm, Jamie stuffs the free hand into his pocket, blankly gazing over the scenery of New Jersey suburbia. Then he looks up into the sky, hair that's coming out from under the hat waving in the wind peacefully. ]

[ No snot-green aliens flying down to scoop him up or anything. It's almost kind of cool, even if it still makes no sense. He looks down at the street, feels pretty big and awesome and puffs his chest. ]

That's right, there's a new sheriff in town! From now on, it is I, Jamie, who --

[ A wilder gust of wind makes him flail, nearly losing his balance, and he wraps both arms around the chimney again, screaming like a little girl. ]

COOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaron Livesy | Emmerdale

[teenagebadboy]

Shiemi Moriyama ❀ Blue Exorcist

[shamelessness]

[generalflirt]

[This somehow?

Maybe the power to change Fashion Sense]

[shamelessness]

[Shiemi's power though? Is to mess with the equilibrium in people, and give them vertigo. Too bad it usually misfires on her self. Which is why right know she's trying so hard to stay on her feet.]

[generalflirt]

[And Masaomi, for his part, is trying to steady her. An arm around her waist, grinning more than a little sheepishly]

Whoa there.

[shamelessness]

S-sorry. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a power.

[generalflirt]

I'm not sure mine is too much better. I look pretty tacky.

[...But she looks hot. He can't help but glance down at her boobs]

[shamelessness]

Ah, it's not so bad! I like the hat!

[generalflirt]

[Still holding her up, he sort of grins, he can't help but reach up a hand to proudly tip the hat. Nothing else felt right to wear! That said...] Saaahaha, I almost feel like I should apologize for the heels though.

[shamelessness]

[She reaches forward to grab a chair.]

A-at least they match?

[generalflirt]

So true, and we don't have school today, which helps. [He lets go for her then, considering if he should pull out a chair for... nah. At least he's not feeling dizzy... yet]

[shamelessness]

M-maybe I should stay home. I don't want to be a burden to you.

[generalflirt]

Oh come now, you're like this every day. If you were a burden, wouldn't I complain more?

[shamelessness]

S-sorry. I just know you wanted to be outside today, and if I'm like this...

[generalflirt]

Hopefully it'll shift on to someone else soon. Like me, you know? I'm not boasting, but even with the vertigo, I've got pretty good balance.

[shamelessness]

But you know about the nauseousness! I don't want to make you vomit.

[generalflirt]

Heeey, it's just a risk you take, knowing you. Just like with my pal Mikado you take a risk that your cell phone will start giving you weird text messages meant for him or with me you run the risk of feeling like you should change clothes. Remember the time that I accidentally made Namie-sensei think it was very "in" to wear a bikini top and jeans?

[He's trying to perk her up, recounting old anecdotes]

[shamelessness]

[She giggles a bit.]

Or when Izumo turned the couch into skittles?

[generalflirt]

Oh do I ever. You want queasy? I was so much more sick after that then your ability will ever make me.

[Because he ate way too much of said skittles.]

[shamelessness]

You shouldn't have eaten so many! Poor Izumo was embarrassed.

[generalflirt]

Well it was surprisingly delicious, don't you know?!

[shamelessness]

You could have saved some for later.

[generalflirt]

That candy's almost as impossible to resist as it's origin.

Winry Rockbell ☎ FullMetal Alchemist

[installing]

Osaka (Azumanga Daioh)

[fuhgottaboutit]

[Thank goodness you're here... Sneezes With Her Eyes Open Girl! Osaka has the power to sneeze with her eyes open, which needless to say makes hayfever season waaay less annoying.]

Ah-choi!

[installing]

You know every time you do that it doesn't get any less weird.

[Winry's power? She can make rooms smell nice... or bad. Most times it's okay, but every so often it's not any good.]

[fuhgottaboutit]

[Osaka rubs her nose with a tissue and sniffs.] Sorry. My nose is just outta control... ah-choi! Oh, geez.

[IT WOULD HELP IF THE ROOM DIDN'T SMELL LIKE WHATEVER FLOWERS SHE'S ALLERGIC TO 8| ]

[installing]

[IT'S NOT LIKE SHE ALWAYS HAS CONTROL OF IT, GOSH.]

Just because you can keep you eyes open does it mean you have to?

[fuhgottaboutit]

Huh? Whaddaya mean?

[installing]

When you sneeze, right? Couldn't you close your eyes anyway?

Jed Eckert ☆ Red Dawn (2012)

[usmc]

Rock Lee | Naruto

[niceguypose]

Aang | Avatar: The Last Airbender

[savedtheworld]