But what if I hated myself

[romancereturns]

The Painful Secret Pining Meme

You've been with them for a long time - years, perhaps, maybe even their whole life. More than that, you served as a true friend and supporter. No one could be as dedicated as you are, and you're content to stay in the shadows and let them shine if it just means you can stay by their side a little longer.

But you're not a perfect saint or a martyr of friendship. There are somewhat selfish undertones to your loyalty. You love them.

You feel like you’ve loved them forever, yet while it’s a great affection - no, “great” is probably not enough - in your heart, these feelings are your secret, kept away from everyone…possibly from the object of your desire themself! After all, you couldn’t burden them with anything like that. So, you’ll allow your own emotions to come in second place.

Of course, you haven’t allowed yourself to figure out how this could come back to haunt you in the end, could you? What about when your love moves on to someone who’s “more than a friend?” They won’t need you as much any more. Can you take into account the moment when you snap and can’t hold back the truth any more? And even if you’re really “together,” others won’t know if you keep your relationship under lock and key, and you’ll have to endure others approaching your lover.

Then again, the shoe could be on the other foot. You could be the side being pined after. Will you ever realize your friend’s feelings; if you do, can you return them? After you are certain that you do, will it be too late? Can one burst of passion lead you both to something that changes your relationship forever?

• Basically, it’s a meme about (one-sided) love one friend has for another over a long time. Devotion, angst, all that.
• Thread out withheld desires, stoic facades, attempts at leaving this all behind, anger, awkwardness, breaking down, confessions, and all that.
• Comment with your character and preferences. You might want to include your smut/no smut status.
• Mention if you’d like your character to be the pining or the pined for.

Comments

kylo b̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶o̶l̶o̶ ren. STAR☆WARS. ota

[vaderstan]

Katsuki Bakugou | My Hero Academia | OTA

[comburst]

[ Probably pined for! ]

[dualtemp]

(OOC: interested to have this kid?)

ella ♡ cinderella [ ota ]

[iftheshoesfit]

[ Sure. Yeah, okay, this is as good a place as any to get my heart ripped out.

Amicable to playing either party. ]

mathilda | leon the professional | m/f

[cleanroulette]

(( she can be aged up! ))

Jyn Erso | Rogue One | OTA

[wherehopegoes]

Zechs Merquise || Gundam Wing

[deposedprince]

[Story of his life]

Sylvain Gautier • Fire Emblem Three Houses

[philandered]

Like its canon or something...

[sweetless]

[It's happened. Again. Sylvain did that obnoxious, stupid, reckless thing where he went out of his way to get hurt. And maybe, possibly, saving Felix from injury in the process. But that's not the part he's thinking about. No, he's all fire and fury as once again he's left to deal with the emotions of his careless friend's actions.

The fools around him have promised that Sylvain is fine, he's just resting, and he's not sure why they all feel the need to repeat that worthless information to him. Of course he's fine. They had a promise, after all. And for all the redhead's faults, breaking that isn't one of them.

So, no, he's not worried, he's just come to reprimand the behavior. Definitely not to see for his own eyes just how serious the injury is.

Obviously.

There's the perfectly calm, and evenly paced, raps on Sylvian's door.]

You'd better be awake. And if you pretend to be dying this time, I'll make it a reality.

eddie kaspbrak | it

[respirations]

touka kirishima | tokyo ghoul (ota)

[tsunkaku]

[Either role!]

Mao Mao || Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart || OTA

[maomaomao]

((OOC: Can be pining or be the one pined after.))

madara mikejima | ensemble stars | m/m

[gorotsuki]

(( pining ))

Sansa Stark | Game of Thrones | M/F

[stonebird]

jin guangyao - mo dao zu shi (or untamed)

[guangyao]

Su Xunxian | Oh! My Emperor

[topoiran]

ooc: I don't know about secret, but there certainly is pining going on.

Crowley | Good Omens

[temptational]

[ Info and prefs here! ]

[fomenting_peace]

[How excruciating are you thinking? Canon is pretty rough to begin with! XD I can think of a number of brutally gentle scenarios for rejection, both temporary or permanent.]

hino rei / sailor mars · bssm

[firesouls]

[ happy to be either party.
would definitely love to play this against one of the other senshi, but ota! ]

[moon_heroine]

(OoC: Want an Usagi to angst over? Maybe a confession after a close call?)

djeeta, granblue fantasy.

[magnas]

( ota o/ )

Whizzer Brown - Falsettos - m/m

[halfjewish]

Richie Tozier | It | ota castmates

[beepbeepboy]

Noctis Lucis Caelum ; FFXV

[waywardscion]

Yu Kanda | D.Gray-man

[omkara]

Estinien Wyrmblood | FFXIV | OTA

[ohwyrm]

[Can be either role, but if he's the one pining, expect massive amounts of denial/putting his feelings aside for his duty/etc etc]

Tony Stark || MCU

[speaktome]

[heyday irresponsible oblivious playboy with a healthy dose of self-loathing underneath that pretty smile aka pined after]

James Rhodes || MCU

[138combatmissions]

[[Hope it's okay to hop in! I was figuring this was vaguely around just before the start of IM1-ish maybe if that works for you?]

Christ. Jim really was starting to think he might be a masochist and never have realized it. Only someone who liked to torture himself would keep doing the same damn things over and over, knowing he'd have to look himself in the mirror the next morning.

He was getting too damn old to try to keep up with one of Tony's benders - whether it was one full of drinking, or hours arguing over plans and inventions. And he was definitely too smart to be this stupid, over and over.

Tony was growing up ... much as he was likely to. There was Pepper, always around. She was good for him, she steadied him out. Jim had never been as good at that as he should be. He'd always been a little too enamored of how Tony went flying off the rails to do something amazing, even if it meant he went off the rails to do something incredibly obnoxious most of the time. That one amazing moment was always a rush that made the madness worth it. Jim had never been as sensible as played at. He'd always liked things that ran too fast. Tony Stark's mind ran faster than anything else.

And Tony's moments of brilliance weren't the only parts of him he'd been enamored of. Jim was getting too old to deny that to himself, too. And the more he gave in and got drunk and spent time around him, the more Jim worried it was going to show - or that it already had. Most people spent too much time looking at Tony, they didn't pay attention to Jim hanging over his shoulder enough to notice if he spent too much time watching Tony. But Tony was attracting different sorts of spotlights now, and there were different people looking. Pepper was sharp and she was kind and the last thing Jim wanted was for her to see too much and think that meant she had to back off.

That might be a lie too. It wasn't the last thing he wanted. It should be, if he was as good a friend as he played at being. He couldn't help the little selfish side of him that didn't like knowing that the more Tony needed Pepper, the less he'd need Jim.

He was a big boy though. He'd man up and deal with it. And just tell Tony he was taking assignment overseas for a while. Which he'd been thinking about doing. In the light of morning, that just seemed like a wiser decision. Maybe the chickenshit one too, but that didn't mean it wasn't smarter.

Jim leaned against the sink in Tony's oversized bathroom, and then grunted. He splashed water on his face and then dried off before shuffling back out and toward the kitchen, putting on coffee.

The smell of it roused Tony sooner than Jim expected, and he poured out a mug for him too before slouching into a stool, chin in his hand and trying not to squint too obviously against the light. "I did not used to get this hungover," he muttered to Tony resentfully. "This is your fault."

Addie Sands | OC | OTA

[addiesands]

[She’s a pop star, so she’s probably pined for. But I’m happy for her be the one pining!]

Harvey Specter | Suits | ota

[notgivingyourmoneyback]