NICE HOBBITSES

[blacklisle]

what has it got in its pocketses?

Well? Cough it up! The Pocketses Meme comes in three complementary flavors; mix and match to your taste, respect other people's preferences, tag around, etc.

VERSION ONE - The Character Exercise: Post a top-level comment with your character, and a list of everything they're carrying on their person at this moment. Compare and comment. Make fun of other people's choice in gum flavors. Have a ball.

VERSION TWO - The Party(?) Game: Post a top-level comment. Subject line: character / fandom / blahblah. Body: What have I got in my pocket? Whoever replies gets three guesses. If they guess any one item right, they win; if not, you win. Whoever loses pays a forfeit. Cannibalism optional.

VERSION THREE - The Scenario: Roll 1-8. Your character is now stuck in the corresponding setting, with nothing but those pocket-contents. And another character, who presumably has pockets of their own. Between you, you can probably figure out a solution to your problem, right? Right?

settings

1.	A locked room. There is one small window, which doesn't open, and a water cooler. For some reason.
2.	A remote desert island, with no phone reception. Just lots of sand and palm trees.
3.	A small, sparsely provisioned rowboat in the middle of the ocean.
4.	A rooftop at least four stories above the ground. Locked door, no fire escapes. There is a pigeon, though.
5.	A maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
6.	A dark cavern at the bottom of a mountain, likely to be attacked by goblins at any moment. Because.
7.	An open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. There is a small mailbox here.
8.	Your neighborhood bar. Listen, I didn't specify a survival situation. Shut up and drink your beer. (Or reroll.)

Comments

Aziraphale | Good Omens (2019 Series) | ota

[fomenting_peace]

[ooc: PLOT TWIST! The truth is that the angel Aziraphale has absolutely nothing in his pocketses, because he can create/miracle-into-existence whatever material objects he needs at will. ...Except it's absolutely critical that he remains incognito. So pick any scenario at all, or call it a party game that he's trying to lose on purpose! Guess something silly or outrageous or miraculously lucky! ...Except that he's pretty terrible at making his miracles actually look plausible instead of totally impossible.]

"What have I got in my pocket?"

[sauntered_downward]

Have a Crowley.

"Is it a book?"

[fomenting_peace]

Aziraphale grins. Pretending at sleight-of-hand, the angel reaches into his suit coat and miracles up a rather thick tome to show him. "How did you guess?" Crowley wouldn't be fooled in the slightest, of course.

Wait, wasn't there something about the loser paying a forfeit?

[sauntered_downward]

Crowley looks immensely unimpressed. He can do that too, but he wouldn't do it with a book, of all things. That would be embarrassing, not that Aziraphale ever worries about being embarrassed, bless.

"So that means I win," Crowley says, giving a little circle around his friend. "And you owe me...?"

[fomenting_peace]

Of course Crowley is unimpressed. The game is utterly ridiculous, particularly if they're playing "against" each other, and they both know it. Aziraphale had played along just to see where Crowley was going with this.

"Well..." He glances over his shoulder to watch the demon come back into view. "I suppose you get to choose!"

He's still waiting for the punch line.

[sauntered_downward]

Oh, this is very good. Very, very good. Crowley likes this.

"One hour, television. My choice as to what."

[fomenting_peace]

Television...? Well, one hour wouldn't be any sort of burden. How bad could it be?

"Alright, then. When?"

And why is Crowley grinning like that?

[sauntered_downward]

"Whenever you'd like."

How much reality television can he fit into one hour? Oh, quite a bit. Crowley likes reality television. He helped invent reality television in the 90s and it's only gotten better as time has gone on.

[fomenting_peace]

"I suppose now is as good a time as any!" Aziraphale glances around the bookstore. "I don't have a television set here, obviously, so I suppose we'll have to go somewhere else?"

Reality television?! The angel has no idea how bad it can be.

[sauntered_downward]

"I've got one at my flat," Crowley says. "You can even order takeaway. I'll make it as pleasant for you as possible."

Crowley hasn't been this excited since they cancelled Sonny and Cher.

[fomenting_peace]

"As pleasant as possible... but I thought television was supposed to be fun? Humans really seem to think so, anyway."

Now Aziraphale is even more baffled. He's happy enough to go to Crowley's place, as unusual as that would be, and he's already contemplating takeaway.

But there still seems to be some sort of punch line that the angel missed.

[sauntered_downward]

So there's the Bachelor, which is one of Crowley's favorites, or there's Big Brother, or there's----oh, there's just so much to choose from, and each is just more delightfully evil than the last.

"Yeah, that's because humans are stupid," Crowley says, very seriously. "And television is stupid, and you're going to get to experience it for an hour with me and it'll be wonderful for one of us."

[fomenting_peace]

Aziraphale is going to be so horrified when he discovers what "voted off the island" means...

"Well they can't be that stupid. They invented the printing press, after all." The angel really is sure it can't be that bad. He's seen some rather terrible stageplays, after all, and those can't be edited the way films can! With television, they can leave all the mistakes out.

"Shall we, then?"

[sauntered_downward]

Wait until he discovers what some women will go through to get a rose on the Bachelor.

"Let's."

Crowley's flat doesn't get visitors. As such, it is a wholly unwelcoming place with furniture that is basically the hippest and most fashionable but also the most uncomfortable. The only things Crowley really cares about in the flat is his favorite chair and his plants. He doesn't even bother with the kitchen, which is fully stocked with food he bought something like 30 years ago but hasn't spoiled and never will.

He does have a very large television in his sitting room with a big white couch. It is already on a channel with the latest episode of Big Brother on. Please do not swear.

[fomenting_peace]

With his Indian takeaway (lamb curry and naan, when in doubt go with the classics) sitting on a miraculously convenient end table, Aziraphale's attention is immediately fixated on the way-too-large colorful moving images. He starts off with a pleasant smile.

"Oh, the image quality is much better than it used to be!"

That pleasant smile evaporates to stunned worry as soon as he hears the first line of dialogue. "Well that was unnecessary..."

[sauntered_downward]

A glass of wine immediately appears in Crowley's hand, as well as a small bag of popcorn. He doesn't like popcorn all that much, but he likes the visual of eating popcorn while watching Aziraphale watching reality television.

"Wasn't it, though? They were really expressing themselves, I think. Getting a bit tense in the house at this point in the show."

[fomenting_peace]

"This isn't a performance at all." It's been less than five minutes and the horror is beginning to sink in properly. "These people are actually trying to live in that house, together."

Aziraphale's eyes go wide when somebody throws something. "Oh dear me! And they all want to stay in that awful little house? Locked in with each other?"

[sauntered_downward]

Crowley looks like it's Christmas.

"No," Crowley responds. "But if they do make it all the way to the end, then they get a bunch of money and fame. So...sort of, yeah. They want to win."

They start interviewing on the screen and the nice girl starts to talk badly about everyone in the house and how she's going to get them voted off.

[fomenting_peace]

"What is she... Well that's not very sporting of her! Isn't this supposed to be a fair competition?" Aziraphale glances at Crowley, brow furrowed.

"They want to be famous... for acting like this?!"

[sauntered_downward]

"Yep," Crowley says, popping the 'p'. "And they get so famous for acting like this. Makeup lines and interviews and music albums and the lot."

[fomenting_peace]

"...But this is the sort of behavior people are ashamed of! Now millions of people will see it! They'll never be able to live it down! There's no amount of money worth all that!"

What Aziraphale hopes to accomplish by trying to plead with Crowley, he's not sure.

The takeaway is destined to go forgotten and untouched.

Taako | The Adventure Zone | OTA

[abraca_fuck_you]

[ ooc: caught up through Amnesty 31! ]

Let's see here... Uh... Unlimited Pasta Pass, only good at Olive Garden, Wand of Switcheroo, Ring of Frost, my sweet-as-hell Pocket Spa, my awesome Mongoose mask, Anti-gravity sphere, no big deal, Cloak of the Manta Ray, still don't know why I have that, we've literally only gone to the ocean like, once, Ooh, my hole-thrower! Very useful. Still got a few sticks of Mockingbird Gum, Shitty salt shaker I've never needed, Oh, and this fish-talking stone. 'Cause that's something I'm gonna need again.

Jarlaxle | Forgotten Realms, Dungeons & Dragons

[daerthe]

(Behold, a walking talking arsenal of magic items.
Part One
Part Two
Don't cast detect magic on him if you value your eyesight.)

Miriam | Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

[crystal_blooms]

I have... a Waystone, some money, a health potion, and a bottle of alkahest.

["Serious" answer ends here.

Comedy answer picks up an hour later after going through a Metroidvania characters' entire hoarder pile of an inventory...]

...a number of cookbooks, a coin I still haven't discerned the purpose of, four magical keys, and a pair of slipper that squeak with every step I take.

Tulip O'Hare (AMC Preacher)

[boo_berry]

[Car keys, lighter, pack of smokes, wallet with usual items, quarters, gum, bottle of blood she's holding for Cassidy]