not sure if i offended you, or you fell asleep...

[babelincoln]

midnight texting.

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[persisto]

I know you're not.

[And she's glad, really, that somehow these kids kept coming out shaken but unafraid. And yet.]

You should be sleeping, though. You're still growing.

[exp011]

i can't sleep. thinking too much. [ She reads the letter Hopper wrote, his heart-to-heart, religiously. It keeps her up until exhaustion wins and she can finally allow herself to sleep. ]

s3 spoiler and honestly just my gross tears forever

[persisto]

[Well. There's no help for that.

(Or maybe there would have been. Maybe all of this had been wrong. Maybe it would have been easier not to think if they had stayed in Hawkins. Maybe--)

But that's Joyce's problem. That's her own staying up at night. That can be pushed away as she pulls on a sweater and shuffles into her shoes.]

About what?

oh hell i forgot to mark the spoiler but yeah i was a mess

[exp011]

[ Eleven has pulled her comforter over herself, making a small blanket tent for herself. The letter is laid out in front of her, with crinkles and indents of its folds. It keeps the tears from staining the paper, she doesn't want the ink to bleed. ]

i miss him.

I'm amazed any of us are sentences and not just keysmashes of sadness

[persisto]

[Of course.]

I know you do.

[And what else is there really to do but know? She can--and is--groping for a flashlight to bring out into the yard with her, but that's not going to fix this hurt.]

It's not a bad, scary thing, you know?

i perfected the art of typing while crying ages ago

[exp011]

The letter is folded again, nice and slow to make sure new creases won't be formed. And when it's folded right, Eleven slides it under her pillow for safekeeping.

it just hurts. i feel it in my heart. my chest gets really tight. [ It feels like her the ground beneath her gives out, and she's just falling. ]

I'm impress and a mess

[persisto]

[Grief is part of life. It always has been. There wasn't any avoiding it, in the long run.

She just can't help wishing it would stop happening so acutely to children.]

Probably be like that for a while.

We never really stop missing the important people.

[exp011]

does it ever go away? [ The pain in her heart, the crying, the feeling of emptiness. ]

[persisto]

Not all the way.

[Especially not when it kept happening like this, year after year of hurt.]

But you get better at living with it. The parts that feel broken right now start to make you feel stronger.

Does that make sense?