NOT MY JOB!

[stregadoro]

The "Not My Job" Meme

It happens sometimes. Someone calls in sick. Or they fall into a magically-induced coma. Or they're disgraced and driven out of their former position by an angry mob. Or they get Single White Femaled… by you. No matter how it happens, sometimes you get called in to cover for someone else. After all, doesn't matter whether they're a doctor, a lawyer, Batman, a magical girl, a mad scientist, a god, a slacker, the Smoke Monster, Speed Racer, or a humble pencil pusher… their job gotta get done, bro. And you were the last to say "Not It." HOW THIS WORKS: 1. Character A posts. They include a brief description of their job in canon. 2. Character B responds. They have taken over Character A's job. Whether they also inherit all powers, etc., is up to you. 3. Character A responds to this interloper. How will they receive their replacement (or, if you'd sooner play this angle, their new coworker)? Will they mentor them? Will they be jealous? Troll all to hell and back? 4. Profit! By which I mean earn them paychecks, kids.

Comments

Miles Edgeworth | Ace Attorney

[ergomaniac]

[Edgeworth is a prosecutor. This means that he directs criminal investigations and then argues the case against the accused in court. It also means that he must dress in ridiculous, frilly clothes. His reward is a fancy badge.]

[nonsomno]

[The fancy badge she can take. The suit she can take-- the color is horrid, but she likes pants, so that's all right. But the cravat was immediately thrown out, because Talia has her limits.

She sits at a desk, glaring down at the paperwork. She's not good at paperwork-- she's not an idiot, not by any means, but she's a good deal better with a sword than with a pen.

Eventually she growls softly and glares at Edgeworth.]

What's the point of this? It's littering, who gives a damn? There's more important things at stake!

Ahiru | Princess Tutu

[motioned]

[Have fun being a ballet themed magical girl.]

[ergomaniac]

[Edgeworth could handle the magical powers. Maybe. Perhaps. With some difficulty. Saving hearts, et cetera is a little worse.

The tutu is worst of all.]

Er - Ahiru, surely the costume isn't necessary to this...

aya brea | parasite eve

[eves]

[ aya brea is an fbi agent, under the branch of MIST ( Mitochondrion Investigation and Suppression Team ). there happens to a be various amount of weapons, you earn bounty points, and investigate mitochondria-related cases. ]

rinoa heartilly | ffviii

[ex_pirouetted330]

[ daughter of a general, a freedom fighter of the forest owls, a sorceress — ]

rarity | my little pony: friendship is magic

[jewellery]

[ rarity of ponyville: fashion designer, seamstress, socialite, pony. ]

Edgar Roni Figaro | Final Fantasy VI

[edgar_roni]

[Want to be a King for a day? We all do. Now's your chance.

Edgar is the King of Figaro. As such, he has a lengthy list of duties that include but are not limited to: overseeing maintenance on the castle's technologically sophisticated machinery and burrowing-travel system; attending royal functions; providing military support to sworn allies and serving as commander in chief of the army; overseeing criminal cases and rulings; entertaining the court and guests from abroad (whether you like them or not); granting audiences to citizens on a case-by-case basis; making sure Kefka doesn't burn your place down. Among others.

And -- and, you get a sweet coronation robe. Still interested?]

[andrarrrgynous]

[Well, technically Faris is a princess, and the next in line for the crown.]

[And technically she totally jumped out a window and ran off to return to her life as a pirate.]

[So, she's not sure how it happened, but now she was right back where she didn't want to be.]

What'n the hell is that?

["That" being the large, extravagant robes she was apparently expected to wear.]

[the_new_sexy]

I am Sherlock Holmes. Consulting detective. Only one in the world, I invented the job.

When the police are out of their depths, they consult me.

[Enjoy having the internet in your head, if you want it.]

[theothereight]

[There’s better people for this. Natasha has a near-perfect memory, Clint has the sharpest eyes on the planet (metaphorically, at least), and Steve is an actual perfect human specimen.

But those people are all exceedingly busy being Avengers. Pepper is exceedingly busy running a company, but: priorities. So she’s been sent to train with Sherlock Holmes. Increase her observation skills, go undercover, stop a megalomaniac executive. The usual. Sitting at the café, she looks around.]

I see crappy wallpaper. That’s what I see.

bernkastel ; umineko no naku koro ni

[cruelest]

[ Bernkastel is the WITCH OF MIRACLES, a member of the witch Senate with the power to manipulate possibilities and cause any event^* to happen.

benefits: a wicked scythe, the freedom to visit any world you want, being able to troll cynical teenagers, and the opportunity to subtly crush the dreams and hopes of everyone you come into contact with.
hazards: being stalked by a certain co-worker.

*provided that it doesn't have a 0% chance of occurring. ]

Richter Belmont | Castlevania

[vampirekiller]

[Kill monsters that don't belong in this world.]

Sam Winchester | Supernatural | Open to All

[exorcising]

[Saving people.

Hunting things.

The family business.]

[losthimself]

The fuck? [Justin's just staring in awe at the amount of weaponry in his possession at the moment. If he had a full explanation as to what he'd be doing he wouldn't be so confused, but no. That would just make life too easy wouldn't it?

...Lets hope no one needs any saving today]

Pepper Potts || Iron Man

[theothereight]

[Tony Stark's personal assistant.

The byline: Anything and everything Mr. Stark requires.

In actuality: getting Tony to at least one out of ten daily meetings, keeping him from buying crappy art, paperwork forever, dodging calls, minor corporate espionage.

Basically: running Stark Industries with none of the credit and a fraction of the pay. Have fun!]

Re: Pepper Potts || Iron Man

[ironchefstomach]

[There are no words to describe how vastly in over his head Shaggy is at the moment. Not only has he already lost the week's schedule, somehow or another he's lost the boss-man too.

It's a good thing there was an emergency number left to call.]


....Help.

Faris Scherwiz | Final Fantasy 5

[andrarrrgynous]

[Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free]

[YOU ARE A PIRATE.]

[dynamic_exit]

[As chance would have it, he just happens to have experience working with a crew on a ship!

A... space ship.

But hey, he brought his own eyepatch. That's got to count for something, right?]

Nice ship you have here. So, ah, how does one go about manning it?

Sandra | OC

[notsostoic]

[She's a soldier that fights with magical creatures that are bound to her soul.]

Strife | Darksiders

[leadmercy]

[Horseman of the Apocalypse, tasked with maintaining the truce between the legions of Heaven and Hell - none is to attack the other 'til the Apocalypse. Serves the Charred Council, who granted the Horsemen their swift and terrible might. Stepping in? Saddle up.]

Molly Hooper || Sherlock

[wealldosillythings]

[Molly Hooper is a pathologist and morgue attendant at St. Bartholomew's Hospital. She is responsible for -- ah, let's keep things simple.

She works with dead people. A lot. Examining, cutting, cleaning, the works. Also, lab samples.

P.S. Her unofficial job is crushing on Sherlock Holmes and being his go-to person for dead bodies for scientific research, or when he needs to re-examine evidence in a case. He's been known to use her feelings to his advantage to get around procedural red tape. Have fun.]

charles xavier • x-men first class

[meliorism]

( part professor of genetics, part telepathic mentor of baby mutants, martin luther king jr. part public advocate for mutant rights and peaceful cohabitation.

professional writer of godawful science-based pick up lines. )

Jim Moriarty | BBC Sherlock

[moriarty_hi]

[James Moriarty. Consulting Criminal. Has the most brilliant criminal mind the world has ever seen (and that's coming from Mycroft Holmes himself).

Have a murder, robbery, or crime you want planned? Call Jim, he'll fix it for you.]

Eleventh Doctor | Doctor Who

[aintno_grave]

[In short: HE SAVES THE UNIVERSE.

- Advocate of fish custard, bowties, fezzes, and Stetsons.
- Ancient traveller, jack of all trades, and professional 'causing-people-to-facepalm'.
- Travels in a blue police box that's bigger on the inside with one or more human companions (mostly women don't judge).
- KILLER MOVES ON THE DANCE FLOOR.

Basically, he's the Sherlock Holmes of space.]

Mira(el) - OC - OTA

[swordofmichael]

[Demon hunter.

Also immortal, carries a rosary with beads to trap lesser demons and a silver sword with the Prayer to Saint Michael inscribed onto it in Latin to harm higher demons.

...No, you can't have the sword.]

Britta Perry | Community

[britta_ftw]

[Like ranting on about political causes that no one cares about? Like sucking the fun out of every and any situation? Like mispronouncing the word 'bagel' ('BAG-ul') and having people ruthlessly tease you about it?

Then you should become Britta Perry! The Necessary Defiant! (HUZZAH!)

She may be unemployed, she may be living with an one-eyed cat recovering from eye surgery, and she may be the worst, but she does have the neatest, unlimited stock of leather jackets.

So, haha, there's that.]

Ben Chang | Community

[sochangable]

[Head of Greendale Community College Security (everybody quit), currently living in the boiler room of said college, former Spanish teacher of said college, dresses like a Cuban cab driver, overemphasizes and underemphasizes words seemingly at random, and exhibits several mental illness that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.

Uh, don't know who'd take this job, but you do have the opportunity to make some pretty terrible sweet puns involving his last name.

So, chang your point of view and sign up to be a changmigo.]

Re: Ben Chang | Community

[on_your_nerves]

[There's a serial killer targeting students at Greendale. A very creative, intelligent serial killer, someone far, far too smart for a school whose flag actually has an anus on it, yet Sherlock is quite sure they're enrolled as a student. The board of trustees has refused to close the campus because they're mostly total incompetents.]

[One of those trustees, Sam Witherspoon, an old family friend of the Holmes', actually cares about the safety of the students and Sherlock owes him tremendous favor. In Sherlock's early twenties, he'd been on holiday to the States and wound up getting picked up on a rather serious drug-related offense and Witherspoon convinced the judge--his sister--to let Sherlock have a slap on the wrist for it. Considering that he'd been facing serious jailtime, it's a rather large debt that he owes to a fairly decent human being, so he has risen to the challenge of finding the killer.]

[The case is at least interesting, but it means he's not really working under the conditions he'd prefer. Namely because he's been told by Witherspoon that he has to listen to Dean Pelton's recommendations and the Dean has insisted that Sherlock not interfere in the school's regular operations because, supposedly, it'd alarm the students even more, and that he absolutely has to go undercover as a new security hire.]

[Sherlock is fairly certain that the Dean's concern about alarming the students is just a convenient excuse on the man's part to get him into a security guard uniform that's about a size too small.]

[Ben Chang is not in the know and has been told that Sherlock has been hired to take Chang's place as the school security officer. Right now, thanks to being in the presence of Chang, it's taking every ounce of Sherlock's restraint to not become the murderer Sally Donovan always claimed he'd become.]

Even though you know how to hide the body, John wouldn't approve. Even though you know how to hide the body, John wouldn't approve...

Grell Sutcliff || Kuroshitsuji Anime

[deathknellgrell]

[ Judging human souls fated to die, and determining whether they deserve to die on schedule or cheat death.

Also: writing reports, chasing demons, polishing one's nails, and vainly throwing oneself at one's utterly delicious superior.

It's all in a day's work. ]

Georgia (George) Lass // Dead Like Me

[destinysucks]

[Grim Reaper who reaps the souls of humans just before death from any type of horrible accident at the hands of these little pranksters called gravelings.

Also, since somebody thought it would be fun to put us on earth as humans instead of the normal Grim Reaper look, I also work in an office answering phones, working on a computer, spinning around in my chair bored to death.]

[stillshinigami]

A grim...

Reaper? You're shitting me.

Gonzo | The Muppet Show

[musicmaestro]

[Gonzo is a Muppet, a stuntman, and most importantly, an artist.

The notes for the Minute Waltz are on display. The piano is already soaked in flammable material. Gonzo is holding the lighter. You're up, bold replacement!]

[the_new_sexy]

Oh, go on. Light the piano.

[Also, he hates this thing on his head. Is this a chicken? Why is there a chicken on his head?]

Justin Russo | Wizards of Waverly Place

[magicalmontague]

[Justin happens to be the Headmaster of Hogwarts WizTech, New York's answer to a magical school for wizards, elves, giants, dwarves, and any other magical creature that seeks a secondary education (and apparently an undergraduate one too).

When he's not off teaching poor middle-school students, he's also a wizard. The wand's more than worth the job, but unfortunately for you, replacement?

Your one true weakness now is plastic. ... Good luck with that.]