At Your Service (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
atyourservices) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2019-04-06 02:32 pm
atyourservices) wrote in bakerstreet2019-04-06 02:32 pm
Entry tags:
Live to serve
![](https://i.imgur.com/SV2PxCo.jpg")
the forbidden love between servant and master meme
These days, it's uncommon to have a servant. The wealthy have them, of course, but some of them even eschew that to have a sort of pride in being self-sufficient. Rarer still are the personal servants, the ones bound to just one person and taking care of their every need. They make sure their master or mistress is dressed, fed, and all their affairs are in order. They may double as a bodyguard or personal assistant in other functions, as well. This type of servant was much more common back in the day.
But today, you have one. You've always had one. Or may, you are one, loyal to your employer to the core.
Perhaps you're more of a vassal than a servant, then. You serve because of duty and love; you've been raised to know this your duty for your entire life. Your family has been tied to this family for generations. You could have even been summoned by magic, your whole purpose to serve.
And even if you're not a "true" servant in the sense of the word, there's always people who look out for others. You know the person in the group of friends. They seem bound to the hip to that one specific person, usually someone who actually does need the help, and acts as a mother hen to them. Yes, you're that person.
It all sounds simple enough, then. The problem? The relationship between master and servant has been blurred, and the feelings and bonds here have grown more than they should. The servant doesn't just love the master, they love the master. And it's not that much of a stretch to think that the gesture is reciprocated. But this is an ultimate taboo. Power differences, societal expectations, and conflicts of interest mean that there's a whole mess that can be made. If that line hasn't been crossed yet, keep dancing it. Try to back off, if you can. Do not cross the line. Do not become...more.
If more has come, you are in danger. Will it interfere with the ability of the servant to serve? Will they envy all those in higher stations who can get close to their master? And what about the nature of their relationship being exposed? Others will not be as kind, and there could even be punishment ahead should the wrong eyes fall upon the truth. After all, a servant and a master have been so close, in close quarters. There is no knowing what could have happened.
HOW:
- Comment with your character and preferences.
- Mention if you'd like your character to be a servant/vassal or otherwise.
- Tag others.
- Thread out forbidden affairs and one character taking care of the other.
walter c. dornez. hellsing.
did you mean calling US out?
They'd captured Walter after his fight with the Captain, securing him to a lab table as they implanted the artificial vampire chip in him. They were very vocal about their plans: They'd known he was under direct orders to come back at all costs -- knowledge they used to their advantage. His choices were limited: either do as they say and betray the person that loves him most, or go against her orders and die in front of her.
Thankfully, Integra had a change of heart and came back faster than she had intended: just in time to destroy the detonator linked to the chip and release him so that they could take down Millennium together.
They'd both been taxed to breaking during the following days of uncertainty, and she hadn't left his side for an instant while she studied all the notes they were able to salvage about the artificial vampire process. His body was deteriorating, and they were only able to keep him stable enough by giving him a constant supply of blood. Despite her offers to put him out of his misery, he stubbornly maintained that the greatest misery would be leaving her.
For that reason, they both endured days that felt like years. Sporadic arguments rooted in genuine care for the other peppered their conversations, but ultimately their frustration was with the situation more than one another.
Finally, after the surgery to fix the malfunctioning chip, he began making a genuine recovery. His form remained steadily as though he was in his 30s, and he reported no further physical distress. In fact, he'd been able to prove that his strength and endurance were what they should be for a vampire.
Gradually, she began allowing him to return to tending the house. She knows better than anyone how much he hates being idle when there's work to be done, but she's always sure to keep an eye on him.
Tonight is no exception. She finishes the last of the discussions with the repair crews that are there to temporarily patch up the house before she makes her way to the kitchen. It's there that she finds him intensely cleaning.
She knows that none of this has been easy for him, but she also knows he won't talk about it until he's ready. Still, she comes in and kneels down beside him as he scrubs a spot on the floor that looks to have been spotless five minutes prior.
"How are you feeling?" she ventures
i think 'walter is not actually a shitlord nazi' is our wildest au yet
During the war--the original war--he'd been so flippant, so horrible, so young. Fighting next to Alucard had felt good. He'd known from the start, even at fourteen, that they would never be equals, but it had been a purpose to live with, to work in tandem, as partners. It'd continued after the war, too: Alucard and Walter, thick as thieves, killing vampires together with an implicit understanding between them.
Then Arthur had locked Alucard away. No warning, no good-bye, no nothing. He'd told Walter that Alucard had gone willingly and Walter had, stupidly, believed him, owing to the vampire's mercurial nature and the way Walter knew he'd been so tired of just existing. Perhaps rest was for the best for him.
It hadn't been until later that Walter had found out just how Arthur had locked Alucard up, and he'd cursed himself for not pressing the matter. Work continued nonetheless, Walter and the knights, and Walter would return to his butler duties upon returning from missions, ever the utilitarian tool. It had even continued after Integra was born, though her inclusion added another layer to his duties. He'd been content, happy even, with his workload.
But as time passed, the load had lightened. Less missions, more housework. Less fighting, the only thing that really made him feel alive, and he'd known it was because he was aging, weakening.
With the return of Alucard, he was needed even less, and it left him bitter and tired. He'd hoped for... something, perhaps, a spark of recognition, a return to the old days. But it hadn't happened, and then Alucard had brought home Seras Victoria and he knew he was done.
It wasn't anyone's fault but his own humanity, so he lived with it.
Integra had needed him, during the war with Millennium. She'd sent him off, ordered him not to die, and he'd done everything he could, but failed anyway.
Because he was weak.
What else could he do but submit? Far be it from him to disobey an order from his master. As they'd strapped him in, a part of him had almost laughed: he'd have been more useful as a vampire if that fuck Alucard had just changed him when the changing was good. They could have been a real team, then. Again.
In any case, it had been a blow to his pride that he'd lost, another blow that Integra had to come get him, and yet another blow that while he'd been alright to start, he'd deteriorated and collapsed not long after, a shell of what he once was, coughing up blood and practically unresponsive.
And so he'd been brought low again, useless, all because he was weak. He'd been adamant to not receive the mercy of death, despite everything. He'd been a mess until things had been sorted out, constantly feeding and feeling miserable. Once Integra managed to stabilize him, it had gotten a bit better, but he still feels like shit.
It's a little better now that he's at least able to get back to his butler duties, but not really, because there's an ache under his skin to go to battle, to do something, anything--he'll never not be vicious, not be violent, but he's usually so good at hiding it.
He hears Integra from far away, smells her before she even arrives, and it's still so strange. Is this what it's like for Alucard? Probably not--he's a real vampire.
In any case, Integra shouldn't be kneeling next to him on the floor and he gives her a look that's silently admonishing before he settles back on his heels and crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn't know what to say. He's not going to lie to her, but his real opinion just feels so coarse.
"As well as can possibly be expected," he finally replies, looking over at her with a fond expression before returning to his definitely-already-done task of scrubbing the same damn pristine spot on the floor. "The manor doesn't clean itself, after all, so at least I can make myself useful."
it's been 84 years since i've done this ship too. this whole thing is wild.
As he sits back, she watches him, offering him a sympathetic smile as he mentions that he's as well as can be expected.
"I suppose that's the best that anyone can ask for in this situation," she offers, glad that he isn't completely minimizing his distaste with the whole thing.
She watches as he returns to his work, though her brow furrows when he mentions being useful.
"What on Earth are you talking about? You're the single most useful person in the estate, whether you're cleaning or not. You always have been."
This is what happens when you don't talk to people: huge avoidable miscommunications.
It's starting to make sense to her now, though. There's something deeper than she even knows that's haunting him. That's been haunting him.
Unable to stop herself, she reaches forward, resting one of her gloveless hands over the one that's pushing the brush against the tile as her gaze turns toward him.
"Walter, I wouldn't be here without you. Not because the house is spotless, but because you're-" she starts before pausing. God, how to even begin to explain his importance here.
"You're everything," she manages, the stress on the word reflecting the vastness of her feelings on the matter. He's been her stability since she can remember, and her only encouragement in an environment full of men that want to see her fail. She spites them because he has always been the iron in her spine that keeps her tall when others would love to see her bend beneath the weight of her responsibility.
Her gaze, should he meet it, speaks of genuine bewilderment. It's as though she's never for an instant considered that he could think his use to her hinges solely on housework.
i'm listening to cher and writing an au in which walter isn't a bitter incel i hope you're happy
"I suppose," he agrees, though as for minimizing his distaste, generally he would have--and should have. He's always kept himself on a tight leash around Integra, after all. Proper, polite, unerring. There's no need for her to see the dissatisfaction he harbors over ... anything, really. She's his purpose, truly, and she always will be.
Her... well, it's not an exclamation, but her claim startles him, though all he does is still when her hand touches his. He looks down at the gesture, brow furrowing before his expression smooths out entirely and he waves his free hand slightly, attempting to wave off the moment.
"That's very kind of you, Ma'am, but a butler always knows his station and his worth."
He knows he's not going to get out of this that easily, but it's not going to stop him from trying. He doesn't return her gaze though, because he doesn't want to admit that the confirmation is nice.
He doesn't see himself as some bastion of support or sanity or strength or... anything, really. Arthur had always made it patently clear what his position in the household was, and that had been enough, for him, until it wasn't. Of course he's important to the household, because he keeps things running. He picks up messes that have nothing to do with housework. That's part of his job, as Hellsing's butler. That's not changed over the years, at least.
"I'm hardly irreplaceable," he states, bitterly thinking of Seras as he speaks. He's fond of her, always will be, but her presence still stings as a reminder of what he isn't any longer. "And until very recently, I've certainly felt my age, which has put a damper on my duties."
Except... He's always performed his duties perfectly, no matter how old he was. Press X to doubt.
He really doesn't want to talk about this.
Remilia Scarlet (aged up) | Touhou Project | OTA
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu | Danganronpa | ota