bakerstreet | #justdatingthings

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#justdatingthings

Part of the charm of being in a relationship isn't found in the amor, the grand shows and trapping. Contentment can just as easily come from the little things - or even the silly things - about being close to someone. At first, you're either naturally standoffish or wary or you're intent on impressing them and not looking like a total nerd. That's how the "getting to know you" process works, unfortunately. As you get more serious...you may actually get less so? Maybe you'll let them see your dorky humor, your weird laugh, your bizarre hobbies, your bed head. It could end up that the two of you have more fun playing video games together, Netflixing and chilling, baking cookies, or sword fighting (if you're in the olden days, where Netflix and cookies are scarce). And, really, you can't help that their clothes are so comfortable on you.

It's a good thing you guys are together. You really did gain a best bud.

Character, preferences, etc. You know the drill!
Thread.
Go forth and kill spiders, share clothes, snuggle together for warmth, play Mario Kart, open jars, bake brownies, hang out on the drawbridge of a castle, slay vampires, whatever you dudes get up to. ♥

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Tree stopped and looked up at him. She almost loses focus on everything else he says when he said 'I love you too.' She hadn't been sure what she was getting into when they started dating him. But he was good and all she knew was that she wanted him in her life in any way possible.

"I... probably should have found a more romantic way of telling you that then," she gestured to the paint roller. She stooped to put it back in the paint tray before she looked at him again. Should she say it again? Because she wanted too. She wanted to say it over and over again, especially since he had said it back. She felt giddy, like a school girl. Like how she had felt spending time with her mom in the alternate universe, only this was so much deeper. This was what her mom would want for her.

Except she hesitated and her brow furrowed. "You want me to google you?"

"I know it's a weird request," he said, reaching up to scrub his hands over his face. Maybe that wasn't the right way to have her find out who he was but he felt like it should be in her hands to find out who he was when she wanted to and when she was ready to hear it.

"But I guess you could say I'm well known in some circles. I don't think it will change how you feel about me but your father is definitely going to have heard about me," Steve said. He was almost sure that Tree wouldn't care much that he was Captain America. She might think it was neat but honestly if she didn't recognize him then he doubted she would actually care. "I can tell you if you want but to be honest... you'll probably want to read up on me."

So, it was in her court now. If she asked he'd tell her now but he didn't know if she wanted that. He paused for a moment before adding, "I kind of messed up our 'I love you' moment there, didn't I?"

It was weird and honestly made her a little bit nervous. Was it something horrible? Normally people would say not to google them, but this was different. And he was well known? What did that mean? Tree knew she didn't know much about what was going on the world, had she missed something?

But he had said he loved her. They loved each other. That beat everything else. She could read up on him later, right now she could really only think of one thing.

A smile spread across her face as she threw her arms around his neck, stood up on tip toes and then kissed him. "We could try again? I love you Steve Rogers."

Steve grinned and kissed her back, glad that what he'd done hadn't completely ruined the moment. At least it hadn't ruined it so bad that they couldn't correct course and try again. He was so lucky to have someone as amazing as Tree, who was understanding and willing to give him another chance when he screwed things up.

"I love you too, Tree Gelbman. I love you like crazy," he said, lifting her up and spinning her around before he set her down and kissed her again.

As far as Tree was concerned the request was weird but it definitely hadn't ruined things. She didn't even really care, she could google him later. Right now all that mattered was she was here with her boyfriend who she was head over heels for and he loved her back. She laughed as he spun her around and kissed him back eagerly.

"I think that's enough painting," she pulled back slightly. There was still a lot to be done, but right now all Tree could think about was curling up on the couch with him and getting takeout and googling him - but mostly curling up on the couch.

"Mmmmm, what should we do instead? Install that new shower head? Assemble the bookshelf?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He was fairly sure that she was thinking the same thing he was, of just spending time together being close and ridiculous like young couples in love tended to be. Well... maybe not so young on his part but Tree made him feel that way. She anchored him in the here and now that most things never did. He felt less out of time with her.

"I may have a jar or two that needs opening," she teased. She actually did have a long list of things she needed to do but those could wait until later.

She pulled back slightly. "I kind of want to google you now though. Sorry, but... you can't just lead with that." She took her phone out of her pocket and gave him a guilty smile. "If it's just embarrassing smutty pictures, there's totally nothing wrong with that. You should see some of the ones of me on Danielle's instagram - actually, no. Please don't. That was the old Tree and I don't really like her."

Tree looked down at her phone and went to google. She was nervous, why wouldn't he just tell her whatever it was? Unless it turned out he was a creep she didn't think anything could change how she felt about him.

And then the search results came up.

"Ohmigod. You're Captain America?"

How did she not recognize him? How did she not realize? He had even told her he was with the Avengers when they went out for coffee the first time, but she had just passed it off as a line. She should have realized by now that Steve wasn't the type of person to do that.

"Guilty as charged," Steve said, having the good sense to look a little bashful about it, like it was an accident or something and he hadn't meant to be Captain America. At least she wasn't horrified or anything and didn't seem all that upset. Also a lot of what he said or did probably made sense now.

"I hope that's not a disappointment or going to be a problem? I wanted to tell you it just never seemed to come up?" he said, like that was any sort of excuse. Honestly he thought for sure that at some point she would have noticed or someone would have said something. But it never had and so he jut... didn't say anything either.

Tree was far from horrified if anything she felt like a massive idiot. She shook her head and continued to scroll through the search results.

"What, no!" She looked up from her phone and shook her head. "Steve, it's not a disappointment or a problem. I just can't believe I didn't realize. You even told me on our first date and I thought it was just a line." Tree slipped her phone back into her pocket and looked up at him.

"You being Captain America doesn't change any of what I feel about you." It didn't. Even if it was hard to wrap her head around the fact he was Captain America, that wasn't who she saw in front of her. She saw Steve Rogers. The amazing guy who she had fallen hard and fast for. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so alone in this anymore.

He had been honest with her, maybe it was time she was honest with him. It had been hard enough to convince Carter and Ryan about the loops when she had been stuck in them. And it wasn't like she could tell anyone else. Not really, they would think she was crazy even if there was a lot of crazy in the world. But Steve had seen crazy, he had fought crazy. Maybe he'd believe her.

"There's... probably something I should tell you too. But uh... maybe we should sit."

Well, Steve didn't know what he was expecting from her but it wasn't that she had a secret of her own. Maybe this was some sort of karma for going so long without telling her his secret. He didn't expect whatever Tree said to change how he felt about her though, he loved her and was crazy about her and there was no way she could hide anything that would make him change how he felt about her.

"Alright," he said, checking himself to make sure he didn't have any paint on his pants before he sat down on the couch. He kept his hand in hers though, wanting her to know that he supported her whatever it was she was going to tell them. They were in this together, no matter what "this" was. "What is it you want to tell me?"

She was grateful for him holding her hands and she forced herself to smile as she sat down next to him. Her heart was pounding in her chest, once she had ended the loops she hadn't told anyone about them. Her friends from college knew, but that was different she had only gotten out of those loops because of their help. Tree still isn't sure if telling Steve is the right thing, but it's been hard dealing with this mostly on her own and the dreams haven't gone away.

"This... is going to sound crazy, but I kind of getting the feeling that out of everyone you'll get crazy now."

Tree sighed and bit her lip before continuing. "When I told you that my roommate tried to kill me, that was half a lie. She did kill me. Multiple times. Someone on my campus, built this machine and somehow it caused me to get stuck in a time loop. And it was my birthday. And every time Lori killed me I would wake up and the day would start over again."

She swallowed. It was hard to think about the huge impact that this had still had on her. That even though Lori was gone what she did still cast a huge shadow. "I died over and over again trying to figure out who was killing me. Lori was smart, it took me a while to realize it was her. But all those deaths... medically I should probably still be dead right now. I don't know if I've fully recovered."

"And then I thought I got out of it, I thought that I was free of that stupid loop after dying sixteen times, after I beat Lori," Tree can feel tears then and even though she had been nervous about telling Steve now it was like she couldn't stop talking. "Only I got thrown into the loop again, only this time I was in a different dimension. But in this one my mom was alive, and I almost stayed. I killed myself over and over again just to relive that day again, because I thought I was going to die anyways might as well go out on my own terms. And then I thought I'd try not dying, I could live a life even without all these memories I was supposed to have but that would be okay because I'd have my mom. But then the version of my friends in that dimension died and I realize I couldn't let anyone else die because of me. And I realized that what I had with my mom here..."

The tears began to fall then and Tree closed her eyes for a moment. "So all those nightmares, I'm dreaming I'm stuck in the loop again. That I'm reliving my deaths or that I'm seeing people I care about die over and over again."

"Tree..." Steve reached out and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close the instant he saw the tears start to fall. He absolutely believed her, had no reason to doubt her no matter how crazy the story sounded. If she said this happened to her then he believed that it had.

And it broke his heart a little that she had to face something like that. Not just all of the deaths but also losing her mother all over again. Steve couldn't imagine if he lost Bucky when he'd gotten him back after thinking he was dead all those years.

"That you for telling me," he said, murmuring the words to the top of her head as he held her close. "For trusting me that I would believe you. And I do believe you. But you don't have to face this alone."

Tree managed a small smile. Telling him had felt good, it felt better than talking about it with Carter and Ryan. When he pulled her close she curled up against him and rested her cheek on his chest. She felt safe there, wrapped in his arms.

"I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I was scared you might think I was crazy because it sounds crazy. Trying to convince Carter and Ryan to help me was hard enough."

She closed her eyes for a moment wanting to take in that feeling of safety. "I can remember all of them," she said slowly. "Everytime I died. Sometimes they blur together, like a bad dream and other times... I don't know. Even the ones I did to myself when I thought it didn't matter."

"Getting stuck in that loop though, it made me realize that I wasn't a good person. I was horrible, dying over and over changed that. I know I should consider myself lucky but... sometimes, I don't know."

"I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me. But I don't think you're crazy," Steve reassured her. No wonder she had nightmares, that would be enough to drive just about anyone crazy. To be able to go through something like that and come out a better person? Steve wasn't sure how many people could do something like that.

"And it's horrible that it happened but to come out a better person? That takes a lot of strength and I don't know many people who could say they didn't just go crazy. You don't have to deal with it alone anymore. I'm here for you, okay?"

Tree tilted her head to look up at him and smiled. She wiped some of the tears away before sighing. "You wouldn't have liked the old me, I was horrible. I guess... after my mom died I just stopped caring. She was the best person I've ever known. She was so good and kind and then she died. So I thought what's the point?"

Honestly, Tree had been horrified to realize just how awful she had been. Not just to her friends but to strangers - to everyone. It had been the worst and the best wake up call, but at least she could make up for it now.

"So uh... if the Avengers need time travel. I know a guy. It's not exactly precise and it's more like a loop than actual time travel but...I memorized all the equations when we were trying to figure it out the second time," she smiled. "I'm even more glad I stayed now or we might not have met."

"Well I'm glad I got this you then. And you probably would have liked 90 pound asthmatic me because you are a good person now but I'm glad you got this version," Steve said. Because he really did think that Tree was the sort of person that could look past the fact that she would be physically stronger than him but he wasn't stupid, there were benefits to being like this.

And Steve could actually see what she meant about not seeing the point of being kind if you died all the same in the end. Of course that wasn't the point of being kind but she was just lashing in her hurt.

"And I'm not sure why we would need time travel for anything but I promise to keep it in mind. And I'm glad too. And if you ever need to talk to more people about this... I've got a group of friends that won't think you're crazy."

"I would love any version of you," Tree said and leaned up to nuzzle his neck before relaxing in his arms. The new version of her anyways, the old Tree was too hurt and too angry at the world to have loved anyone. She definitely would have been attracted to this version of Steve but she probably wouldn't have been willingly to let it go beyond that. And she probably would have scared him away with how awful she was.

For a moment Tree can't help but wonder what it would be like to meet the rest of the Avengers. Danielle would freak out over the prospect of her meeting Thor (actually she'd freak out after she realized who Tree was dating, so would Carter and Ryan) and Tree can vaguly remembering having to study the Hulk in one of the science electives she had taken.

"You... you've seen things, gone through things," she paused. He had been through a war - an actual war, she can't even imagine what that must have been like. And then there was everything else that he would have experienced being with the Avengers. "Does it get easier?"

She knew she wasn't likely to forget any of the loops, she probably would still remember every single death until the day she died for good. Most of the time she was okay, she could have a normal day like none of it had happened to her. But every once and a while she'd be jumpy. Something would happen out of the corner of her eye and she'd expect to be murdered. And the dreams - nothing she did could make them stop.

Steve hummed happily as she nuzzled his neck and curled up into him. There was something about the way she felt against him, the way that both of them just dropped their barriers around each other. Even before these revelations Steve always felt a sense of safety and security with Tree, like he could be himself and that was okay. She never seemed to care that he didn't get a lot of references or things like that.

"It does get easier," he reassured her. Steve would never tell her that if it wasn't true either, he wasn't one to give someone false hope. Of course just because it got easier didn't mean it never hurt again or everything was fine. "Sometimes it's as hard as it ever was but those times get farther and farther away and you learn how to deal with them better."

There were times where he still ached for the life he had lost even as he enjoyed the life he had now. And honestly meeting Tree helped with that, finding someone that seemed to complete a part of himself that he hadn't known was missing was a tremendous help. Steve just hoped that he could be the same thing for Tree.

Tree closed her eyes. She had never really felt like this with anyone before, and the fact that Steve was Captain America didn't change anything. Maybe in the morning, it would be harder to wrap her head around but if anything that would be more that she hadn't realized it before. He had told her and there had been clues she should have picked up on. The Quinjet, the fact that more than once people would stop and stare while they were out on a date (though honestly, Tree had assumed they were just checking Steve out - because who wouldn't?).

"What about you?" Tree asked. "I mean... you were in World War II. And then everything after that? Are you ...okay?"

Okay didn't feel like the right word but she also can't think of any other word but she didn't know how else to ask. But she needed to know, she needed to be sure. And she needed to know if there was anything she could do to help or make things better.

"As okay as I think I can be," Steve admitted. He wasn't perfect and he couldn't deny that the things he'd seen from the war had stayed with him. Not to mention being a man out of his own time was something he wasn't sure he would ever fully get used to. But there were things and people that made it feel as much like home as possible. Chief among those people was Tree, very much a product of her time but always making Steve feel so comfortable and accepted.

"Having you helps. Which sounds selfish but... it's true. I feel less lost and adrift with you here," Steve admitted, kissing the top of her head.

Tree blushed, she couldn't help it. He had been her rock since they had first met and knowing she was helping him as well meant so much. She shifted slightly in order to pull something out of her pocket - a key, which she holds up to show him.

"That reminds me, this is for you," she tilted her head to look at him better. "It's a key to my apartment so you can come and go whenever you like." She had thought about saving the key but with the accidental love confession and then the way this conversation was going it just seemed right. Steve was such a huge part of her life, she wanted to be with him as much as possible.

Steve understood what a big deal it was to have a key to her place. In his time that would have meant something completely different but he understood what it had meant to Tree that she trusted him with this. This was her first place that was only hers and the fact that she wanted to share it so openly with him? Well it made him love her even more.

"Are you sure? Because I think I'm going to want to come a lot," he said, pausing for a moment as he turned that phrase over in his mind before blushing a bit as he realized just how it could sound. "I mean... to visit with you or stay with you."

"I'm sure we can arrange a way for you to do all three," Tree grinned. Though right now she was content to just be like this, snuggled against him feeling safe. She had always felt like that with him but now that they had both shared their secrets with one another she felt even more so. She didn't need to pretend about her nightmares anymore or why sometimes when they went out on dates she was extra jumpy.

She closed her eyes for a moment as she shifted to rest her head on his chest. "Can you stay tonight?" They could forget painting for the rest of the night, and just be like this. Maybe try cooking (which Tree was horrible at) or order in.

“I’d like that.” Steve said. Both the idea of making it so he could visit often but also staying the night. He wanted to be here to experience this with Tree and celebrate how exciting it was that she was able to do this. That and he’d always rather be with Tree than not.

“There’s no place I’d rather be. We can order in and just lay here close to each other,” Steve said. It was amazing how with Tree he was content to do just that, to just have her close.

Tree shifted so he could kiss him. Right now she wished the world really was just the two of them, that they could just stay in this apartment for as long as they could. At least they could have tonight and the morning and from there I guess they'd have sto see. Though if Steve was to get a call that the world needed saving Tree would let him go. It was crazy to think her boyfriend had saved the world - more than once.

She pulled away from the kiss to take out her phone and open the delivery app. "What are you in the mood for? Chinese? Indian? Pizza?"

#justdatingthings

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