bakerstreet | bad dreams

[ M/F for shipping. Could be either role. ]

Edited 2019-03-30 16:38 (UTC)

Tandy's been a light sleeper for as long as she can remember. Even before everything went to shit, she can recall waking up at the first sound of movement downstairs and darting out of bed as early as she could.

She can't claim she hung on to being that eager to wake up and get out of bed - especially not now, on these nights when she's curled up next to him - but being easy to wake has served her well countless times over the years. Truthfully, if they were living in different circumstances, she thinks that might change, that she actually might be able to sleep easy, deep, naturally, like some moderately healthy person. If she could find that anywhere, it would be next to Ty - except, especially now, she trusts the world around them even less with him than she trusted it with herself. She finds herself waking at least once, sometime through the night, not frightened or shaken or... well, sometimes frightened or shaken, but mostly just needing to check, to make sure the place is empty and she's between him and the door (he always objects to that.)

There's not much that would give away that he's having a nightmare, if Tandy weren't watching closely, if they weren't connected. At first he just seems a little tenser, but her eyes aren't quite adjusted and she can't be sure, so she just smooths her hand over his shoulders, but then his face twists into that deep, deep frown that frankly sometimes haunts her dreams and true to history, it twists something deep inside her. Bizarrely, perhaps, this makes her nervous - she's far from experienced at comforting anyone, let alone anyone so important, but somehow some instinct takes over anyways and she's wrapped herself back around him, jostling him gently before she's even consciously decided that she should wake him, murmuring, "Ty, wake up."

[ooc: can change, as needed. also feel free to save for replying, if you don't want more than two going.]

It hadn't been easy going from the straight laced Catholic school choir boy to a wanted fugitive. Neither had it been easy nearly dying to save the 504. However, the worst had to be leaving his parents. At best, Ty could leave them messages that he was ok. It was a one way street other than catching them on occasion somewhere other than home, or Tandy checking up on them. Nobody felt safe him being in the house after the raid.

His parents must've been on his mind when he fell asleep, dreaming he'd gone home with Tandy to have dinner with them. The dream hadn't started like a nightmare. Billy was somehow there, even if it'd been the way he looked when Ty last saw him. Still, it was a good dream to start until the raid.

Ty could use his powers to get out and Tandy with him. In the split second that he returned, Billy was shot. He didn't waste time although devastated. Ty went to his father only to watch him executed as well. He didn't give himself a chance to mourn and teleported to his mother. She was in his arms when the bullet hit. Her body went limp in his arms and he felt something break inside of him.

"Ty, wake up."

His arms squeezed around her and they teleported to his bed at home. He could feel his body damp with sweat suddenly on a cooler surface. It took a split second to register where he was before he consciously used his power to get them back to their bed at the church, even if he wanted to see his parents for just a second. He didn't want them to see him upset. Ty couldn't hold in the tears. His arms clung to Tandy as he tried to catch his breath but a sob left him.

Tandy couldn't claim she was used to that particular method of travel yet, and twice in a row while she was still not completely awake made it a little hard to focus, but she had to be glad because that instinctive relocation at least gave her a hint what his nightmare had been about.

And that Ty had taken her with him was... something, something that made her feel so much more capable of comforting him. Fuck, what if he had woken up alone? That was going to haunt her.

She wrapped her arms around him, sitting up so she could pull his head to her chest. That was what you did, right? That was - well, it felt right. "I got you, I got you. It's okay, they're okay, I promise."

In the time that he knew Tandy, it was inexplicable the comfort she provided. Initially, she was crass and crude, a criminal to boot yet she wanted nothing to do with him. He found her... interesting. There was more to her story than she let on, eventually finding himself spending the night talking about their lives--both past and present. She could infuriate him but more often, encouraged him to be braver than Ty thought he could be.

The support wasn't something she necessarily benefited from either. Ty was lost trying to handle the problems he had and she offered insight, eventually encouraging him not to give up. She empowered him and refused to leave his side even if it cost Tandy her life. He saw her grow to where recently, she gave affection without second guessing herself.

Crying wasn't something he felt comfortable doing, particularly to the extent that he had after seeing Duane die. Here he was sobbing again because of a dream yet holding onto Tandy was like second nature in the moment. She didn't even have to say a word, her scent and the feeling of her in his arms were the first balm in calming him down. However, the words did help. Her voice. Knowing he wasn't alone in the world... like she had felt.

She might've wanted his head on her chest but Ty rested it on her lap, wrapping his arms around her hips. He turned his face into her thigh and wiped his eyes then rested his temple again on her thigh. "They killed Billy again. And our parents. I got you out of there but I couldn't save them. I couldn't save them, Tandy. What good is this thing that happened to us if--" He stopped himself, knowing she only had one parent left. What right did he have to cry about having two?

"Sorry."

On a good night, she could recognize those changes in herself. On a bad night... well, she didn't much like giving voice to the things she thought on a bad night. Right now, though, it wasn't a matter of thought, not really. It was instinct, instinct that frankly she didn't know she'd had, and need, she needed to help, needed to make it better.

It didn't really matter to her how she was holding him, only that she was, only that she could this time, could curl herself around him and - well, she didn't know what. There wasn't a real, solid enemy to guard him from here and now, but it still made her feel better. "No, no. You've got no reason to apologize to me."

"They haven't, though. Your parents are okay. You're protecting them right now, even though it's hard, and your powers aren't even part of it." She bit her tongue on the rest, on the half formed thought that if that were a choice he were making, she should be the last one he got out. That would be a fight, no matter how she put that thought out there, and this could not be less the time for it.

He felt like a sweaty mess but waited for the tears to stop before sitting up. Ty used the heel of his palms to rub his eyes, ridding any moisture then pulled off the shirt he had been wearing. Spring was around the corner but the nights had been cold. His nightmare made him sweat in the chill air. He gave Tandy a nod, acknowledging what she said.

"My mom... I saw her fears once, before I knew what it was. It's 'cause I saw hers that I realized what I was doing." Ty left the shirt he wore to the side, reaching into his hair at the top of his head for a second after. He rubbed at his head then dropped his hand. "Her greatest fear is losing Billy and me. She's halfway there." The last was uttered barely above a whisper.

Ty couldn't look at her as he spoke but did glance after. His eyes might not have been pouring out tears but they looked to Tandy with desperation and sadness. He dropped his head on her chest, wrapping his arms around her again. Holding onto her brought him solace. "Sick of having these nightmares."

"It was my mom too, the first time." Which wasn't actually relevant to anything, but... solidarity? It seemed right to say, for whatever reason.

"She's halfway not." Tandy replied perhaps a bit too emphatically, and it seemed to echo some. She couldn't quite manage to change her tone, though. "And whatever - or whoever - tries to take you away now has to get through me first, and I promise it's not the other side you ought to be betting on there."

"I know. I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms back around his shoulders, leaning her head against his. She would like to be able to tell him that would get better, but that was a lie she couldn't sell if she would consider going back to lying to him.

It was the perfect thing to say. Who else but Tandy would know what he meant and possibly experienced the same? The nightmares left him feeling isolated while her words reminded him that he wasn't alone.

Her disagreement might be considered ill timing to some but not to Ty. She had been that rock since early on, giving him a kick in the pants when he wouldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything that had been taken from Tandy but she still could hold hope, regardless of what she thought. She brought him hope. He closed his eyes as her arms closed around him. An exhale left him, more like a sigh.

"I should take you home. Bed's all sweaty now." He was about to apologize again but had settled enough to know that Tandy would admonish him for it. Ty could almost smile at the thought. Sadly, the nightmare was still too vivid on his mind. He could still see flashes of the bad dream. The offer to take her home was genuine, even if his arms had yet to let her go.

"Should you?" That seemed like a leap, to her, even if he weren't still holding on to her. And the bed... that seemed like a weak excuse, honestly. Was she supposed to care about that? It barely even registered. More than that, was she supposed to even be willing to leave now?

She would, if that was what he wanted, but that didn't feel right, didn't feel true. Tandy could understand if he hadn't exactly wanted to her to see him cry, but she couldn't think why he'd want her gone now, after that.

"Are you saying that because you want to be - because you want space now or are you just trying to be a gentleman or something?"

Or, shit - "Did I do something that made you think I want to leave now?"

He didn't think anything of her initial response. It wasn't until Tandy was halfway into her first question, past the first two words that she had spoken, did Ty start to realize the implication of what he said. She thought that he didn't want her there. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Yet he didn't know exactly how to convey that without sounding... pathetic. He felt utterly pathetic. Slowly, he moved much like the way he felt but sat up next to her. Ty turned away in the seated position to pick up the shirt he peeled off and tossed it off the side of the bed. Anything not to look at her directly, hoping to get a hold of himself but the feeling wasn't gone. He couldn't not look at her. His dark eyes found hers with sadness.

"You didn't do anything, Tandy.... I don't want space and I don't want you to go. ...Just thought... I don't know," he mumbled with a shrug. "Maybe you'd rather sleep on a dry bed?" Or maybe she didn't want to be with a guy who cried over a bad dream? He thought that but couldn't give it a voice.

It wasn't as if Ty hadn't had a bad dream before. Whether it was seeing his brother's murder, or the mayhem that nearly ended New Orleans without them stepping in, he woke up in a sweat every so often. At least he didn't wake up somewhere strange. He held no memory of teleporting home before fully waking.

This nightmare felt different to him, aside from not finding himself somewhere else. He shivered involuntarily and it wasn't because he was cold. Images still washed over his mind to where he suddenly closed his eyes, trying to will them away. "I can't shake this feeling that because of me, my whole family'll die." His head hung down and a tear dropped from his eyes although he'd yet to open them.

Jesus, that look in his eyes tore at her. It didn't make sense - she had been so committed, so determined for so long to keep choosing flight whenever fight or flight came up, and now, now it's killing her that there isn't something or someone she can fight to fix this. Or maybe it's just killing her that there's nothing she can do at all to fix this.

There was plenty that came to mind to reply to that, but everything her mind offered up to emphasis how much she did not care about the state of the bed, none of it would manage to make him feel any better. So, just the truth, and a sad little smile, and reaching out to run her thumb over his cheek. "I want to sleep next to you. I don't really care where that is. You want to sleep on the floor? Fine. We can build a damn fort. The roof? Maybe wait till it's a little warmer out, but okay. Well, I might draw the line at like the middle of the road or something, but that doesn't seem like something you'd suggest, so we're probably good."

Fuck, how did she counter that? The only thing she could think of that might make it better would definitely make it worse, first. Well - maybe she could get that across by mostly making it worse for herself. Mostly. She swallowed, braced herself. "Is that - is that because you still think it was because of you that Billy..."

She couldn't finish that sentence, but she could finish her thought, if she said it quickly enough. "Do you know why my dad and I were driving across that bridge? Because he had to pick me up. Otherwise he could've taken some other route home, could've gotten home sooner, wouldn't have been on his phone going across the bridge. So if Billy was down to you, then my dad was down to me, so you can look at me right now and tell me it was my fault or you can tell me it wasn't your fault."

Oh, yeah, she could feel herself deeply regretting that already. What help could that possibly actually be? Shit.

Her touch and initial words comforted him. If only Tandy would've stopped there. The support and emphasis at staying by his side squashed the feeling of being alone. She teased a little but it fit, he wasn't bothered by it at all. Having to deal with comforting someone wasn't something either of them really had experience with but he believed she had it worse between the two of them.

Ty still believed that even as the conversation started to spiral. He had reached out and left a hand on her as she had talked about sleeping on the roof but drew the line at the middle of the road. Tandy went to admonishing him over his guilt at Billy's death and he couldn't keep his hand on her anymore.

"It's not the same, Tandy. And you know that. Your father is supposed to pick you up. You were a little girl. He didn't have to pick you up late. That isn't on you. But Billy? Billy would've never been out there if I didn't steal the radio that he refused to do, because it was the wrong thing. I wanted to be a bad ass and it cost him his life! He was a kid. Younger than we are now. Your dad wasn't your fault but Billy sure as hell was mine. The raid on my house? That's on me too!"

His volume increased midway, getting louder at each of the last few sentences. He was reacting poorly to her self blame while also weighed down by his own burdens. Ty was blind to his own unreasonable guilt. It had been his fight with Father Delgado when he saw him last.

He shifted off the opposite side of the bed and stormed off in the open space to find a fresh shirt. Ty didn't stop there, finding socks and putting them on after pulling on a shirt. He didn't want to be alone but it seemed for the best.

Edited 2019-04-03 00:11 (UTC)

Well. It was probably inevitable that she'd screw up this conversation, but she wasn't inclined to accept it, to leave it there this time.

"No, I don't know that. You were a kid, too! Do you hear yourself? Look, I'm sorry. The world is shit. But you - you know that wasn't something that should ever have cost anyone their life, and it wasn't you that took it to that level! The raid, either. You were doing the right thing then, and hey, look, it's the same guy that actually did the awful thing. If it happened exactly the same to anyone else, you would never agree it was their fault."

Oh, no. No, they weren't doing this again. She scrambled after him, suddenly shaky. Shit, shit, shit. "Look, I'm sorry, I clearly shouldn't have said it like that. I know you don't think it was my fault, I thought - you were a kid too, Ty. Innocent, too," she softened, "And don't tell me you weren't because of one radio, especially not next to a corrupt cop."

She went on her usual rant about how terrible the world is but Ty had tuned her out. The conversation had spiraled into an argument, fueling him to dress and part ways. It wasn't as volatile as the first time they had argued but pretty close. Tandy meant well yet the attempt was lost on him, emotions too high and close to the surface. He was just about to get a pair of jeans on when she was right there in front of him.

"Look, I'm sorry..."

An apology wasn't of the norm for Tandy. It was rare enough to get his attention and make him listen. The anger left his face, leaving only sadness in its place. Tears had welled in his eyes out of frustration. All the terror of his nightmare and guilt he'd been carrying was close to suffocating him. Ty had stepped into the jeans and pulled them over his boxers but stood there with them not yet fastened, hanging onto his hips.

He watched her, shoulders slumped in defeat and still damp skin clinging to the tshirt he had pulled on. "Tandy... I... " Ty exhaled, shaking his head, glancing away then looking back to her without the desperation in his gaze changing. "...I don't know what it's like to have your parents. What it's like not to have two of 'em to look out for me. Or even what it's like not have had a brother do the same when I was little. It's not fair what you had to live through. What's been taken from you..."

The back of his hand quickly rubbed over his eyes and wiped away any wetness. "...I don't know what that's like but I know it wasn't your fault. Any of that. I know that better than I know my name or how to make a jump shot or the ten commandments. And I know you wanna share the load I'm carrying, something that nobody else ever has. Not even my parents..." Ty put his hands on her hips, tugging her close and closing the distance between them. "...That's all I need."

Oh, thank god. She let out a quick, sharp breath, wrapping her arms around him again, "I thought I was going to end up chasing you down the street or something for a minute there."

"It wasn't... it wasn't about comparing. Or about me. That wasn't the point. You're hard on yourself. More than you'd be to anyone else. I thought it might... I don't know, perspective or something." Tandy reached up, curled her fingers along his jaw. Fuck, that had... She just needed the proof.

"Cause I know it wasn't your fault, none of this, just as well as you know it wasn't mine. Even if none of my comparisons would sound anywhere near as good as yours. And I am carrying this with you now, whether you like it or not, frankly. even if you did try and like kick me out right now. I'm protecting them now too, and I've gotten pretty good at handling, y'know, attacks and shit. So."

His arms enveloped her when Tandy wrapped her arms around him. He could feel his eyes were still watery but didn't waiver his gaze. Ty didn't want her to feel as if he was hiding anything from her, already having put her through a number of emotions. A bad dream had slowly started turning into a bad reality but they managed to put a stop to it. She was cute as she tried to explain and his anxiety actually started to wane again.

"Tandy..." he uttered both affectionately and in a warning tone. "...I appreciate you looking out for them, I do, but if anything happened to you... I'd be done. I don't even wanna think about that. If there's one thing in common with every nightmare, is at least I've been able to get you out when you're around. It's instant. Like a reflex. And you're in the good dreams too. Not just, you know--" Ty managed a small, shy smirk. "--but you help me fight them. And we win."

There was the smallest of smiles on his lips but his eyes finally stopped looking pitifully at her. Something close to hope, genuine belief in her, pushed out the sadness in them. "I need you," he said with conviction. I love you, he wanted to say but was certain that was too much too soon. "I'm lucky to have you."

He might not have gone into what she said about his misplaced guilt but Ty wasn't dismissing it. Words couldn't adequately express what it meant to him that she believed in him the way that Tandy spoke with conviction.

'A number of emotions' was lowballing it, by far. In the last 2 minutes alone, there had been frustration, guilt, fear, determination, relief, certainty and reassurance. Would've been a roller coaster for someone who was actually good at processing that crap, she thought. And everything he says now... dragged her heart right back up into her throat.

It didn't really scare her, anymore, needing him - anyone else, that was still absolutely beyond her, but this was - he was different. And god knows she knew how seriously he took it, and that quieted something deep in her brain. None of that meant, though, that she wasn't still terrified to be needed. That was an entirely different - but he was so sure, and she trusted that.

She bit her tongue, again, against 'don't get me out first' and the list of near death experiences she'd survived in the past few months, because even she is aware that would just derail everything again. It's hard, though. She is not sure she should be that important, - look how much she just went wrong - and half her instincts are to get mean, and the other half to joke. Ty did give her a window for that, though, intentionally or otherwise, "I'm not completely sure it's luck, but. You do have me."

"And I think I've got some questions about these 'you know' dreams." Which could wait, or could be a distraction. That was up to him.

When she opted to ask about what he shyly mentioned, Ty stepped back and laced his fingers laced with hers. He led her back to bed by their joined hands. It had to be the middle of the night, or close to sunrise, as no light filtered in from any of the usual places. Whatever sweat he'd previously worried about being on the bed was likely dry in the time they'd been away from it. He moved to where Tandy could climb in first then followed.

"Oh yeah. What might they be?" he asked with a playful wariness as they had walked back. Ty casually pushed down the jeans and peeled off the shirt that he had put on before getting back in bed. He made sure they had even amount of covers before propping up his head on a hand while stretched out along side of Tandy. She could either snuggle with her back against his chest or remain facing him.

The distraction was a good idea. He didn't think she would want to focus on the seriousness of what he'd said. It was enough that she wanted to stay with him.

That was a difficult choice. At least, usually. (How this had become her usually, she still wasn't sure half the time.) Now, though, she wanted to see his face, as much for the expressions he made when she teased him like she was about to as for reassurance that that awful pained expression wasn't lingering.

What might they be? Hell, where did she start. "Well..." Tandy dragged out the word, torn between honest curiosity and the inclination to make so many jokes. "How many do I get?"

Edited 2019-04-05 14:07 (UTC)

"Questions?" he asked naively. "As many as you want." Ty wasn't sure what to expect. That was of the norm when it came to Tandy, always keeping him on his toes. She had the opportunity to be serious but could just as easily use the moment to tease him relentlessly. If she set out to distract him, her tactics were working. He was focused intently on her features.

His smitten look remained along with a hesitant smirk, bracing for the worst. Something dawned on him while he waited for Tandy to speak. He was waiting for her to ask questions yet she was the one who looked conflicted. "Should I be worried?" he asked through a teasing tone.

"Oh, you should probably always be a little worried," she informed him, grinning even though she did think that was probably true a little bit. It was a thought she was working on. Sort of. Or at least it was a thought she knew she should be working on.

That didn't really help Tandy choose - but it did make her roll her eyes affectionately, "Given how easy you go all shy, I'm not sure that should be your answer. How about five? And I'll answer five too, whatever you like." Fair was fair, after all, and fair was something they could at least have here in this bubble, even if it did make her nervous.

"When did you start dreaming like that? About me, obviously. I don't need your full puberty timeline."

His face might start to cramp from the small grin she continued to put on his face. Ty knew how head over heels he might look but wasn't fazed by it, even if it went to her teasing him over it. Tandy deserved to be the object of that type of affection.

"Five?" he asked rhetorically, eventually shaking his head in agreement. Did he have five questions of that nature to ask? He at least could count on Tandy to go first. Surprisingly, her question was relatively tame. Ty snickered a little at her disclaimer of not needing his puberty timeline. "Classy," he teased with a playful role of his eyes but quickly looked back at her. "Depends on what you consider dreaming like 'that'..."

Ty shifted a little where he leaned his propped head a little closer to her. "...There was the dream after we tried to touch here in the church. Except we kissed instead. Still ended up thrown across the church but still nice." Because the touch had been nice before getting thrown. Ty wasn't sure what had changed but he was glad for it. Getting to touch was well worth risking his life for. "Then there was more than kissing."

He sounded like a twelve year old trying to explain himself but hadn't stopped looking smitten with her.

They could probably both stand to get used to smiling more often.

"Five. About anything. Use 'em wisely." Maybe she should have just went with three, but. In for a penny, in for a pound, she supposed. Probably she wouldn't end up regretting it too much, right, and as distractions go, she could really only think of one that would work better.

"That makes sense." Who didn't immediately think about having something they'd just been told they couldn't, right? By the universe, no less. She was not inclined to question what had changed, thinking too much about it just seemed like testing fate. "You can't just say 'more than.' The whole point here is details."

"Are you shy whenever you first start touching me in your dreams too?" That was the bit she was really curious about. Although shy might not be the right word exactly there - careful, maybe.

It was silly but Ty felt like he'd been put on the spot. At least she went first, inadvertently providing him some guidance. Tandy probably did it on purpose. He didn't forget that she'd been the one to have questions first but the way she spoke, it seemed as if he should be all over the opportunity and he couldn't think of a thing to ask. Hopefully answering her question should give him an idea.

"I'm not shy. I'm courteous." No. He was shy. And maybe courteous but his inexperience was what shone bright. His protest wasn't seriously defensive, Ty still held a smirk. "Usually you're the one making the first move. I've done it once or twice. I've done things we haven't done yet. So have you. In my dreams." He clarified and quickly felt like an idiot for doing so. What clarification did Tandy possibly need?

He wasn't uncomfortable or flustered by the subject, Ty was in disbelief at himself for how awkward he was acting.

Tyrone Johnson | Cloak and Dagger

(in case you didn't believe me.)

lololol, you got me!

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