Text Adventure Meme

[i_shotfirst_too]

TEXT ADVENTURE MEME

You are in a Dreamwidth community on the internet. There is an odd flat motif to it, as if you were viewing an old Tandy's monitor. Several posts can be seen below you detailing strange antics of various sorts.

There is a post here.

> READ POST

Which one?

> READ LATEST POST

"Congratulations! You are now the player avatar of a text adventure! You have full control of the setting and the environment! The only problem is, you have no control over your own actions! But don't worry, the people responding to you have all bought copies of it and are more than willing to guide you in the right direction! We hope."

> TRANSLATE INTO CLEARER LANGUAGE

So here's the deal: You devise a setting for a text adventure for your character to star in; the people replying to you get to input commands as to what your character actually DOES, and you show the results of said action. And possibly some snark in the process.

Comments

[i_shotfirst_too]

You are INDIANA JONES, Adventurer-Archeologist. You are currently in front of a massive TEMPLE in an INDISTINCT PACIFIC ISLAND, built into the wall of an extinct volcano. It is decorated with STRANGE FIGURES holding coiled snakes, hourglasses, or farming implements. The entrance is open and is dark about ten feet inside.

Behind you to the SOUTH is the road back to the nearest town. There is an ASS tied to a nearby tree.

You Have: WHIP, REVOLVER, FEDORA, FINE LEATHER JACKET, ARCHEOLOGICAL TOOLS, LAMP, MATCHES

Exit: IN, SOUTH

[leadmercy]

[Hmm.

> Info on LAMP

Is it oil-based?]

[i_shotfirst_too]

>It is oil based, there is enough to last a full day.

[hi_there_aliens]

[this isn't real archaeology, Daniel has the biggest line face]

>exit game

[that's the right command isn't it? It's not going to lock his computer to this screen, he hopes]

[i_shotfirst_too]

[Hey - minus the deathtraps and Nazis, this was as professional as Archeology got in that era.

Okay be a spoilsport]

>exiting game.

[Tropical Music starts playing]

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING INDIANA JONES AND THE LOST ADVENTURE, PLEASE WAIT TO PLAY OUR OTHER FINE LUCASARTS(C) ADVENTURES SUCH AS MONKEY ISLAND(TM)!

[the_new_sexy]

You are SHERLOCK HOLMES. You are trapped in a building with TWO MADMEN somewhere in the house, and JOHN WATSON is depending on you to save him.

The room you are in has many clues. Your equipment is MAGNIFYING LENS, GUN, TWELVE BULLETS, and MOBILE (AT 45% POWER).

You can go BOOKSHELF, WINDOW, DESK, DOOR.

Your exits are NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, and DENNIS.

[hisdearblogger]

[ ....

>Info on DENNIS

wtf does that mean. ]

[the_new_sexy]

DENNIS stands in the way of an exit. He gives you a smile and a wave.

check INVENTORY
deduce MURDERER
use MAGNIFYING LENS, GUN, TWELVE BULLETS, and MOBILE (AT 43% POWER)
go BOOKSHELF, WINDOW, DESK, DOOR
exit NORTH, SOUTH, EAST

[youmetimespace]

>> Look MOBILE

[the_new_sexy]

>new text

Read?

>check INVENTORY
>deduce MURDERER
>use MAGNIFYING LENS, GUN, TWELVE BULLETS, and MOBILE (AT 43% POWER)
>go BOOKSHELF, WINDOW, DOOR
>exit NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, DENNIS

[whatyoulike]

>examine BOOKSHELF

[the_new_sexy]

Invalid entry.

Did you want to:

>go BOOKSHELF

[hi_there_aliens]

>look Dennis

[the_new_sexy]

DENNIS stands in the way of an exit. He gives you a smile and a wave.

check INVENTORY
deduce MURDERER
use MAGNIFYING LENS, GUN, TWELVE BULLETS, and MOBILE (AT 43% POWER)
go BOOKSHELF, WINDOW, DESK, DOOR
exit NORTH, SOUTH, EAST

You are ARTHUR PENDRAGON...

[forcamelot]

...King of Camelot. After escaping unharmed from ABSURD GIANT SCORPIONS, you're lost in an UNKNOWN FOREST. It's getting dark and you've been separated from your COMPANIONS, but you have EXCALIBUR and a rudimentary MAP. Above the nearest treetops, a PILLAR OF SMOKE dances high in the night sky.

> Call for COMPANIONS
> Check MAP
> Investigate SMOKE PILLAR
> Set up camp

dfghjdfgh this is the worst idea

[whatyoulike]

You are THE WOMAN, a professional dominatrix with a personal agenda.
It's time for a session with a powerful CLIENT. In addition to the providing the best recreational scolding money can buy, you are hoping to acquire a SECRET of national importance. It's a good thing you know what they like.

Bedroom
The room is furnished sparsely but elegantly with a combination of dark woods, rich fabrics, and white-painted accent pieces. The white lace curtains are drawn tightly across the windows, muting the light from outside and lending a sensual atmosphere.

You can see a BED, a STOOL (on which is CLIENT), a NIGHTSTAND, and a VANITY here.
There is a DOOR to the NORTH.

>go NORTH
>examine DOOR, BED, STOOL, CLIENT, NIGHTSTAND, VANITY
>check INVENTORY
>talk to CLIENT

[additional actions may or may not be accounted for by the text parser]

Re: dfghjdfgh this is the worst idea

[hi_there_aliens]

[Daniel has this look of "WHY am I playing this?"]

>look client.

best idea!

[the_new_sexy]

Check INVENTORY

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

You are SHERLOCK HOLMES, the world's only Consulting Detective.

JOHN WATSON has been kidnapped and you receive the following NOTE:

We will torture John Watson if you attempt to get any help. Don't be obvious, we will kill him anyway if you are late. You have 14 hours.

You are in a LAB at ST. BART'S. There is a DOOR to the EAST.

>examine NOTE
>check INVENTORY
>look LAB
>go EAST

[hi_there_aliens]

>look lab

Sherlock Holmes | Sherlock (ANOTHER)

[deductives]

You are SHERLOCK HOLMES, world's greatest detective. Your abilities are your near unlimited powers of DEDUCTION, a variety of hand to hand combat skills including but not limited to BOXING, and playing on your antique STRADIVARIUS violin. You also have a collection of DISGUISES and high CHARISMA points. Basically, you are the smartest person in the room when in any room.

You live in LONDON on 221B BAKER STREET with your flatmate and best friend JOHN WATSON. You are not just waking up, because sleep is a waste of your valuable time, but are laying on the couch in the living room, fingers steepled under your chin, waiting for your next case to arrive and trying not to be bored in the meantime.

It's not working.

[acclimatized]

> Clean flat.

[whatyoulike]

>sulk

[sprinter]

You are CURTIS DONOVAN, a once-great runner set out for the Olympics. You are now a bartender who spends most of his weekdays picking up litter in COMMUNITY SERVICE. This is not your fault, obviously, and you make sure to remind everyone around you of that regularly.

You also have the ability to SWITCH GENDER AT WILL, which is pretty useless most days, but still bears mentioning.

Right now you are just getting off COMMUNITY SERVICE, and are preparing to change out of your HIDEOUS ORANGE JUMPSUIT. Your FRIENDS are somewhere around the COMMUNITY CENTRE but the LOCKER ROOM is currently empty. Besides you, of course.

There is a door to the EAST, which you know leads to the VENDING MACHINE HALLWAY.

Do you
>check INVENTORY
>check LOCKER
>change into TRACK SUIT
>check phone for MESSAGES
>SNOOP in the lockers
>go EAST
>OTHER

War | Darksiders | Fashionably late

[dysarmed]

You are WAR, Rider of the Red Horse, and he with his fellow Horsemen will rain justice upon the wicked, be they sons of men, lords of Heaven, or the dregs of Hell. You stand in a courtyard with a lovely ANGEL STATUE, DESTROYABLE FENCES AND LAMPPOSTS, a TIMED BOMB, a SLOBBERY CEILING MONSTER which guards a CHEST, and suspicious clusters of RED CRYSTALS. It is raining eternally.

YOU HAVE: A SWORD the size of a car, a SCYTHE, and ATTITUDE.

YOU MAY:
> Go back inside the cathedral
> Step forward
> Investigate CHEST
> Destroy something
> Jump repeatedly
> Roll shoulder
> Call on Joker Navi