sockalareine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2019-02-09 04:18 pm
sockalareine) wrote in bakerstreet2019-02-09 04:18 pm
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a. I got an early Valentine's Day card...from my ex. I think this just wrote the book on 'killing with kindness.'
b. I am in the middle of a spa massage, what could you POSSIBLY need from me right now?
c. He's cute. I'm utterly doomed.
d. I can't hear you over the sound of this bottle of red wine, sorry.
e. I imagine nothing you could offer me would lure me away from this cup of tea and this text about Indonesian demons, but you are more than welcome to try.
b. I am in the middle of a spa massage, what could you POSSIBLY need from me right now?
c. He's cute. I'm utterly doomed.
d. I can't hear you over the sound of this bottle of red wine, sorry.
e. I imagine nothing you could offer me would lure me away from this cup of tea and this text about Indonesian demons, but you are more than welcome to try.
It can’t be that good if you’re answering your phone.
Anyway, I just got your text about Yukito
Unless it’s not him? Was there money in the card, at least?
Anyway, I just got your text about Yukito
Unless it’s not him? Was there money in the card, at least?
[From here.]
Hey, I'm from New York. I don't try to tell you how Pirozhki should be made.
[He was grinning back though, more from the fact that he was having fun with the two of them teasing each other than he really felt strongly about pizza.]
You can get whatever kind you want though. Seriously.
Hey, I'm from New York. I don't try to tell you how Pirozhki should be made.
[He was grinning back though, more from the fact that he was having fun with the two of them teasing each other than he really felt strongly about pizza.]
You can get whatever kind you want though. Seriously.
Sounds good to me. [ She smiled to him, enjoying this, too. A difference of opinions and the ability to enjoy each other anyway was a good thing. She liked this. ]
I have been in many places. What has living in New York your whole life been like? Do you like it?
I have been in many places. What has living in New York your whole life been like? Do you like it?
{ from the last post, feel free to tag in fresh; will overflow replies from yesterday here! }
a. They simply don't make men like Liberace anymore.
b. I didn't mind carrying you back to your apartment. It was a little romantic, if that helps?
c. I want to be in danger so that someone will heroically rescue me. Where is my villainous ex when I truly need him? The closest to peril I have is this candle.
d. How could you recommend Titanic to me so casually, and let me watch it alone? I've been crying for two nights and I haven't stopped yet!
e. I'm at dress rehearsal and this costume is torture. All I want is to be nude and lie on the floor.
nuclectic 🔸 d (who cares is this is real tags now rules don't exist)
immortalized
- 2019-02-09 23:46 (UTC) - Expandrules were meant to be broken. i dont follow no rules!!!
nuclectic
- 2019-02-10 00:13 (UTC) - Expandokay but you're no moneypenny esp not with that attitude #thelibraryisopen
immortalized
- 2019-02-10 14:35 (UTC) - Expand[ from the last post, feel free to tag in fresh; will overflow replies from yesterday here! ]
a. I'm here to record the presence of something called a 'party animal,' unfortunately all I have found are thoroughly blasted Muggles with terrible taste in music.
b. It's very simple, actually. The trick is, not to get caught.
c. Send dog pictures. Please. For research. [ yeah, " research " ]
d. If you are referring to the infant kappa currently in your bath... I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a handful of peas in there?
e. In fact, had he been raised by wolves, he would have taken your nonverbal cues and smelled your lack of attraction. He is thoroughly and truly human, of which there is no helping.
[ prelude! ]
I've never attended parties, aside from birthdays. In the family. And the Yule ball one year under extreme duress.
So I will keep away from parties, then. [ and these generous remarks about himself...that he cannot quite fathom, like some odd, alien device he's been given and can't comfortably place in his environment. Queenie, you are literally too sweet. ]
I'm not certain there is a bright side just yet. It doesnt seem to approve of Pickett.
This is going to become a problem.
Are you allergic to ferrets, Queenie? [ honestly, it's bound to get worse than this somehow along the way, isn't it? it's Newt, after all. ]
I've never attended parties, aside from birthdays. In the family. And the Yule ball one year under extreme duress.
So I will keep away from parties, then. [ and these generous remarks about himself...that he cannot quite fathom, like some odd, alien device he's been given and can't comfortably place in his environment. Queenie, you are literally too sweet. ]
I'm not certain there is a bright side just yet. It doesnt seem to approve of Pickett.
This is going to become a problem.
Are you allergic to ferrets, Queenie? [ honestly, it's bound to get worse than this somehow along the way, isn't it? it's Newt, after all. ]
( 1 ) so i had this idea for a cooking show, everyone has to make tasty shit with three ingredients and you screaming WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, I COULD'VE SHOT YOU, DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOOT YOU in their ears
( 2 ) i didn't know what to do, i just started speaking in spanish. i don't even know how they got my number
( 3 ) new rule: NO BAD CHOICES INVOLVING GUNS. i like that one. write it down
( 2 ) i didn't know what to do, i just started speaking in spanish. i don't even know how they got my number
( 3 ) new rule: NO BAD CHOICES INVOLVING GUNS. i like that one. write it down
i really do need to stop being lazy and make more than just the one icon but w/e
collaterally
- 2019-02-11 12:28 (UTC) - Expand1) Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
2) shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
3) I spent all night sexting your significant other for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
4) How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
5) text him..?
2) shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
3) I spent all night sexting your significant other for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
4) How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
5) text him..?
1. I don't believe it, somehow you managed to send that text at the one time this week I was asleep. How do you do it?
2. like... y'know, wan.
3. I'm so glad no one is attracted to me, I'll never have some of the problems you do.
4. I found a meme that actually made me laugh. are you proud of me?
5. Do you ever think you can feel your cells decaying and that everything you do speeds up the inevitable entropy so you sit as absolutely still as possible, but even breathing brings you closer to death?
Or text him
2. like... y'know, wan.
3. I'm so glad no one is attracted to me, I'll never have some of the problems you do.
4. I found a meme that actually made me laugh. are you proud of me?
5. Do you ever think you can feel your cells decaying and that everything you do speeds up the inevitable entropy so you sit as absolutely still as possible, but even breathing brings you closer to death?
Or text him
1. You saying I have a drinking problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem
2. I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions I had to misspell choke sex
3. I mean I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
4. I was under the impression that I sent actual words turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
[ ooc; he uses voice-to-text, so he tends to skip out on punctuation. ]
2. I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions I had to misspell choke sex
3. I mean I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
4. I was under the impression that I sent actual words turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
[ ooc; he uses voice-to-text, so he tends to skip out on punctuation. ]
barely.
[ though the only reason they didn't is because saiph wasn't comfortable with actual naked vulnerability while also being a meal for the first time in his life. he would've been more than dtf otherwise. ]
but i admit you do make very pretty noises when you're not constantly running your mouth.
[ though the only reason they didn't is because saiph wasn't comfortable with actual naked vulnerability while also being a meal for the first time in his life. he would've been more than dtf otherwise. ]
but i admit you do make very pretty noises when you're not constantly running your mouth.
( repost from yesterday, ota! )
1. Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
2. Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
3. No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
4. That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
5. text him!
1. Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
2. Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
3. No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
4. That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
5. text him!
1. You yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then pulled out your dick.
2. I just woke up in his bed. I'm fully clothed and he's naked. I'm so confused.
3. Making my budget for 2019. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
4. I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
5. Text her!
2. I just woke up in his bed. I'm fully clothed and he's naked. I'm so confused.
3. Making my budget for 2019. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
4. I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
5. Text her!
( repost from yesterday, ota! )
1. You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
2. You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
3. I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
4. I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
5. text him!
1. You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
2. You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
3. I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
4. I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
5. text him!
1. I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
2. He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
3. I need vodka and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you.
4. My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
5. Text her!
2. He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
3. I need vodka and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you.
4. My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
5. Text her!
1. No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
2. It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
3. low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
4. Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
5. hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
1. I spent my night lying in my bathtub with the shower on, fully clothed and covered in my own vomit. No, I don’t want to come outside today.
2. My ultimate hope is that someone will hug me.
3. Access to a bookstore is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
4. Think I may have just managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. There was no one. Forever alone.
5. [ text her! ]
2. My ultimate hope is that someone will hug me.
3. Access to a bookstore is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
4. Think I may have just managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. There was no one. Forever alone.
5. [ text her! ]
Edited 2019-02-09 23:19 (UTC)
Isn’t high-fiving yourself just clapping?
Also, congrats on the sudoku.
Also, congrats on the sudoku.
1 (BUT ALSO HE CAN GIVE HER A HUG AND A HIGH FIVE TBH??)
newtralize
- 2019-02-10 01:10 (UTC) - ExpandA HUG *AND* A HIGH FIVE ????? IS IT CHRISTMAS ??? OR DID SHE ACTUALLY DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN ???
strangletheheart
- 2019-02-10 01:31 (UTC) - ExpandNOPE. SHE'S DEAD. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE REAL LIFE
strangletheheart
- 2019-02-10 01:53 (UTC) - ExpandLive life to your fullest...its like those vids of having puppies or kittens dumped onto you.
newtralize
- 2019-02-10 02:00 (UTC) - Expand 1)He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this relationship is going.
2) I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots. Compliment?
3) Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
4) I've lost all respect for marriage since I started watching this bachelorette party.
5) Text her!
2) I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots. Compliment?
3) Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
4) I've lost all respect for marriage since I started watching this bachelorette party.
5) Text her!
[ Repost from last night! ]
1. Don't get all PG on me now. If I recall correctly, you were the one that asked to see the Knife Song in action.
2. Cold salt water works a charm on blood stains, just fyi.
3. I have a lot of photos from last night and let me tell you, it's like a one person journey through the entire emotional spectrum.
4. Don't be such a baby, five stitches is not that many.
5. The last thing I remember doing was telling him 'pain is just weakness leaving the body' and then punching him in the throat.
6. This may be a tall order, given that you're you, but try not to do anything stupid.
7. Never underestimate a woman's ability to give fewer fucks than you originally thought possible.
8. You sent me a very drunk love letter.
1. Don't get all PG on me now. If I recall correctly, you were the one that asked to see the Knife Song in action.
2. Cold salt water works a charm on blood stains, just fyi.
3. I have a lot of photos from last night and let me tell you, it's like a one person journey through the entire emotional spectrum.
4. Don't be such a baby, five stitches is not that many.
5. The last thing I remember doing was telling him 'pain is just weakness leaving the body' and then punching him in the throat.
6. This may be a tall order, given that you're you, but try not to do anything stupid.
7. Never underestimate a woman's ability to give fewer fucks than you originally thought possible.
8. You sent me a very drunk love letter.
[ Reposted from hereeeeee.]
It's from last night. Bad nose bleed. It wiped me out and I ended up falling asleep. Well, passing out rather.
Definitely going to need a soak.
Not white, but a very pale shade of lavender. Seems equally just as bad.
It's from last night. Bad nose bleed. It wiped me out and I ended up falling asleep. Well, passing out rather.
Definitely going to need a soak.
Not white, but a very pale shade of lavender. Seems equally just as bad.
Wasn’t he sexiest man alive once? Twice, maybe?
(copied from my one on the previous post plus another text that looked interesting)
1. yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
2. Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
3. How do I sound like a gentleman while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
4. I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
5. I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
6. i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
7. If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
8. Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
9. In fact, had he been raised by wolves, he would have taken your nonverbal cues and smelled your lack of attraction. He is thoroughly and truly human, of which there is no helping.
10. Text him!
1. yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
2. Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
3. How do I sound like a gentleman while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
4. I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
5. I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
6. i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
7. If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
8. Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
9. In fact, had he been raised by wolves, he would have taken your nonverbal cues and smelled your lack of attraction. He is thoroughly and truly human, of which there is no helping.
10. Text him!
Edited 2019-02-10 00:14 (UTC)
1. i'm too depressed to drink my wine. that is what i would call a serious problem.
2. am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
3. i’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
4. text him!
[repost from last night! will continue tags here.]
2. am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
3. i’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
4. text him!
[repost from last night! will continue tags here.]
1: He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
2: they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
3: For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
4: No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
5: I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. Priorities, I guess.
6: [bring your own text]
2: they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
3: For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
4: No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
5: I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. Priorities, I guess.
6: [bring your own text]
1: am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
2: that is very illegal...i love you.
3: I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows I'll be seeing you and is preparing..
4: You told me you didn't want to go to the medway because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
5: you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
6: [bring your own text]
2: that is very illegal...i love you.
3: I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows I'll be seeing you and is preparing..
4: You told me you didn't want to go to the medway because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
5: you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
6: [bring your own text]
1. Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, "wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way." But I still love you.
2. They were drunk. And loud. And now they're drunk and quiet. Or dead, you never know.
3. You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you.
4. I just apologized to a wet floor sign I walked into.
5. [ Pick your own ♥ ]
2. They were drunk. And loud. And now they're drunk and quiet. Or dead, you never know.
3. You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you.
4. I just apologized to a wet floor sign I walked into.
5. [ Pick your own ♥ ]
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