Everymeme Happens For a Reason™

[alkali]

 

 

Welcome to the System! 
No more do you have to suffer through the uncertainty of aimless and often fruitless dating to find your Ultimate Compatible Other. With the System, all your romantic relationships are determined for you, from the identity of your partner to the exact amount of time you'll be together, and every relationship provides the System with valuable data that will help it select your Ultimate Compatible Other, so you don't ever have to worry about wasting your time in a relationship again!
 

Note: this meme is adapted from the Black Mirror episode "Hang the DJ". A few moderate-to-severe spoilers for the episode are placed in white text. Tampering with white text will render your spoiler-free warranty void.

 

Here's how it works:

• By using the System, you have granted permission for digital replications of your consciousness to be created and run through a rigorous dating simulation that tests compatibility and strength of interpersonal connection by presenting a situation in which digital replicas must rebel against the System to be together indefinitely. Most digital replicas never become aware of their status, but continued ignorance is not a guaranteed outcome.
• Users live in a comfortable, spacious walled-in compound where housing, food, transportation, clothing, and other amenities are all provided. 
• Users are provided with a Coach device that will provide you with access to Coach, a digital guide, as well as collect valuable information to match you with your Ultimate Compatible Other.
• When Coach has determined a new match for you, you will be directed to a restaurant in The Hub, the cultural center of the compound which uses a mall-esque design sensibility. Everything is pre-determined for you, from your date to your choice of dishes: all you have to do is show up!
• You and your match will be assigned a house for the duration of your relationship that you will be taken to by our self-driving cars. Interiors vary, but all houses are comfortably furnished and contain a kitchen, living area, and bedroom with en-suite bathroom. Houses are unlocked with a handprint scan and will re-lock at the end of the relationship.
• If you so choose, you and your match may view the expiration date for your relationship by navigating to the correct app on your Coach device and choosing to view the expiration simultaneously. Caution: one-sided observation of the expiration date is possible but may destabilize the expiration date and cause the System to recalculate the duration of the relationship. Once shortened, an expiration date cannot be extended.
• In order to find your Ultimate Compatible other, users must comply with System-determined relationships, even if the user feels the match is not ideal or thinks there has been a mistake. The System has a 99.8% success rate in determining Ultimate Compatible Others. Everything happens for a reason.

A few options for playing:

• The System has matched you with your meme partner. Maybe it's your first match, maybe it's your twentieth. Maybe you're a perfect fit, maybe you hate each other at first sight. Maybe you'll be together for six hours, maybe it'll be six years. Everything happens for a reason.
• The System didn't match you with your meme partner, but fuck the System. You're gonna be together come hell or high water.
• You've become aware that your life isn't as real as it looks. Maybe you realized you can't remember where you were or what you were doing before your first match. Maybe you noticed glitches in the simulation, like the way skipping anything across a body of water results in four skips, every time. How you figured it out doesn't matter: what do you do now?

Comments

Saix // Kingdom Hearts // OTA

[lunaticmoon]

Barry Allen | 63!Flash | ota

[fastestalive]

Foggy Nelson | AU Daredevil | ota

[bestavocado]

Rapunzel | Tangled | OTA

[shehasadream]

Rogue | xmcu

[gloves]

Larry Johnson | Sally Face

[larryface]