gosox (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gosox) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2018-11-23 02:22 pm
gosox) wrote in bakerstreet2018-11-23 02:22 pm
Entry tags:
1. You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute voicemail to prove it
2. We hate the same people we’re already friends
3. Short people are full of sin
4. Text him
2. We hate the same people we’re already friends
3. Short people are full of sin
4. Text him
They also say we are full of poison. Be careful how you handle us
1. We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare.
2. All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
3. Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
2. All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
3. Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
1. i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let you do that.
2. i don't want to hear that i'm someone's type after they've looked at my mugshot
3. i thought it was clear that i've gone as far in society as i'd like to
4. i'm less likely to get arrested if i'm at the library
5. (text him.)
2. i don't want to hear that i'm someone's type after they've looked at my mugshot
3. i thought it was clear that i've gone as far in society as i'd like to
4. i'm less likely to get arrested if i'm at the library
5. (text him.)
01. I called dibs on your crisis of faith.
02. Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
03. If it was designed to hold water, it was designed to hold wine.
04. My advice? Deal with it and drink away your feelings like the rest of humanity.
05. [text him!]
02. Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
03. If it was designed to hold water, it was designed to hold wine.
04. My advice? Deal with it and drink away your feelings like the rest of humanity.
05. [text him!]
I'm hoping at this point your position, whatever that may be, is an unpaid internship at best.
1. The people around me on the bus don't know I'm wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a superhero.
2. Let me just take this time to thank you again for getting me vanilla shake.
3. I don't think leaving dog treats in my mailbox is a good way to flirt.
(or text him)
2. Let me just take this time to thank you again for getting me vanilla shake.
3. I don't think leaving dog treats in my mailbox is a good way to flirt.
(or text him)
((still only through S1-S4, so pls no really really old spoilers i've yet to get to!))
1. i only half slept with him i still dont owe you any money
2. It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I jerk off has your accent
3. What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
4. Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
5. He spent the entire night stroking my hair because he said it helped him work through his social anxiety. I was cool with it.
6. she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigrant prep cook.
1. i only half slept with him i still dont owe you any money
2. It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I jerk off has your accent
3. What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
4. Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
5. He spent the entire night stroking my hair because he said it helped him work through his social anxiety. I was cool with it.
6. she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigrant prep cook.
1. Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab.
2. I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of cats.
3. That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
4. text him!
2. I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of cats.
3. That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
4. text him!
Edited 2018-11-23 20:39 (UTC)
i. And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two other gay men is probably fueling my day
ii. About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
iii. You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
iv. [ or text him! ]
ii. About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
iii. You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
iv. [ or text him! ]
1. Learn some fucking English or leave me alone. "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
2. I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number, but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
3. He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
4. Don't know what's happening right now, but I'm wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
5. Text her instead!
2. I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number, but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
3. He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
4. Don't know what's happening right now, but I'm wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
5. Text her instead!
Edited 2018-11-23 20:34 (UTC)
i. Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
ii. Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
iii. He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
iv. [ or text him! ]
ii. Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
iii. He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
iv. [ or text him! ]
hate to break it to you but being dead wont get u out of chores
A) What's that? Is there a bottle of Corellian whiskey calling me? I think so...
B)Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
C) apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
D)I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
E)no one's going to marry me i'm a handful
F) Text him
B)Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
C) apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
D)I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
E)no one's going to marry me i'm a handful
F) Text him
1. How many nights in 2018 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
2. I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you.
3. I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night.
4. Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen.
5. [(MIS)TEXT HIM]
2. I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you.
3. I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night.
4. Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen.
5. [(MIS)TEXT HIM]
........the entire team? is that why i have an influx of nut pictures on my phone right now? because they thought it was some sort of genius prank and now theyre sending them to everyone else and most importantly ME?
boss i dont need to see this many nutsacks
boss please yours was more than enough
boss i dont need to see this many nutsacks
boss please yours was more than enough
fine. i'll make you feel free and alive and hopeful and THEN kill you
powerhittou
- 2018-11-25 02:05 (UTC) - Expandbut......u always make me feel that way. even with my deadness.
bossball
- 2018-11-25 02:11 (UTC) - Expand1. Did you really kidnap my All Might toys last night?
2.I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
3.You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
4. I've never met a classmate that I didn't think was awesome!
5. Text the Broccoli Boy(tm)
2.I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
3.You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
4. I've never met a classmate that I didn't think was awesome!
5. Text the Broccoli Boy(tm)
i. Can't. Far too high on whatever the Wizard had. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ii. This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. Stay tuned.
iii. Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. Get it right!
iv. [ or text him! ]
ii. This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. Stay tuned.
iii. Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips. Get it right!
iv. [ or text him! ]
...why is any of this relevant?
1. Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
2. You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
3. I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
4. I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
5. Text her instead!
2. You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
3. I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
4. I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
5. Text her instead!
1. I can handle them. I'm made of spite and Fireball.
2. You placed all of the religious books under the -fiction- section. That's why the library curator chased you.
3. After today's meeting, my level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm joking or no.
2. You placed all of the religious books under the -fiction- section. That's why the library curator chased you.
3. After today's meeting, my level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm joking or no.
is it time for that hug? you sound like you need one, iggy.
1. I'm utterly exhausted in every conceivable way. Just. Leave me to die and become one with my sofa.
2. As wholeheartedly as I support your seemingly never-ending quest to get laid, I would rather not get a 2am play-by-play of what you're doing/what you're having done to you/your emotional state in any given moment.
3. If you gave me a week, I couldn't list all the reasons that's a terrible idea.
4. 'Someone looks tired, rough night?' - my entire life is a rough night, spare me your judgements and give me my change, supermarket cashier.
5. Could've been worse. You could've been shot.
6. I warned him, and I'm not apologising. Blood loss builds character.
7. This guy keeps asking about my scar; suggestions for what I should tell him are welcome and encouraged.
8. You were in my dream last night; you spent the entirety of it trying to drown me.
9. Text her! Misfires and assumed CR welcome.
2. As wholeheartedly as I support your seemingly never-ending quest to get laid, I would rather not get a 2am play-by-play of what you're doing/what you're having done to you/your emotional state in any given moment.
3. If you gave me a week, I couldn't list all the reasons that's a terrible idea.
4. 'Someone looks tired, rough night?' - my entire life is a rough night, spare me your judgements and give me my change, supermarket cashier.
5. Could've been worse. You could've been shot.
6. I warned him, and I'm not apologising. Blood loss builds character.
7. This guy keeps asking about my scar; suggestions for what I should tell him are welcome and encouraged.
8. You were in my dream last night; you spent the entirety of it trying to drown me.
9. Text her! Misfires and assumed CR welcome.
Edited 2018-11-23 21:01 (UTC)
1. he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them.
2. Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
3. I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
4. text her!
2. Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
3. I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
4. text her!
Edited 2018-11-23 20:40 (UTC)
1: apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
2: Isn't it self explanatory?
3: I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling.
4: Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
5: Never underestimate the power of titties
6: [bring your own text]
2: Isn't it self explanatory?
3: I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling.
4: Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
5: Never underestimate the power of titties
6: [bring your own text]
1. Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight, Cinderella.
2. And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
3. No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
4. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
5. text her
2. And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
3. No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
4. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
5. text her
i. This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
ii. Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
iii. Honestly, I should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
iv. [ or text him! ]
ii. Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
iii. Honestly, I should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
iv. [ or text him! ]
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1. If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
2. The fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
3. I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
4. Text her!
2. The fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
3. I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
4. Text her!
a.) in my defense, the second lapdance i gave was because of a dare.
b.) a lady played my boobs as if they were drums. it's been that kinda night.
c.) i currently don't understand fingers.
d.) i am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. this is a new experience for me.
e.)i know you're here! i can hear your phoneeeee. wake up and do illegal things with me.
f.) last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
g.) The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
b.) a lady played my boobs as if they were drums. it's been that kinda night.
c.) i currently don't understand fingers.
d.) i am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. this is a new experience for me.
e.)i know you're here! i can hear your phoneeeee. wake up and do illegal things with me.
f.) last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
g.) The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
1: They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
2: I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
3: Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
4: Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
5: I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
6: [bring your own text]
2: I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
3: Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
4: Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
5: I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
6: [bring your own text]
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