cockhops (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2018-09-05 01:53 pm
cockhops) wrote in bakerstreet2018-09-05 01:53 pm
Entry tags:
No grave can hold my body down - I'll crawl home to her.
smut meme;  They may be a rambler, a gambler, always on the run, a wanted criminal, someone with a higher calling, or just not the type to spend time with you (which may be fine by you), yet somehow, they'll always find their way back to your door. And they'll, again and again, find themselves wanting you, for support, for healing, for feeling alive, for venting frustration and anger, for anything and everything at all. You'll welcome them with open arms...and an open bed, because you want them, too.
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Harry Doyle ( Quantico ) m/m
helen cho | mcu
kylo ren ( STAR WARS ) ota
dr. june moone | dceu | ota
Ray Donovan | m/f
Steve "Cap" Rogers | MCU | ota
Re: Steve "Cap" Rogers | MCU | ota
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[Okay. Do you mind if I do a little AU then? Instead of what happened in CW, Bucky finally gets his head on straight enough to go looking for Steve?]
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There were still moments when he didn't remember who he was. Moments that the Soldier would emerge, though unlike other times, no one ever got hurt anymore. Now it just seemed the Soldier emerged when he was close to giving up, close to just throwing in the towel and dropping dead where he was. He was so, so tired.
He'd been running for a year since the battle at the Triskelion, always staying one step ahead of everyone on his tail, including Steve Rogers. It was important for some reason that he not let the man catch him. Not yet at least. It had taken time, but he'd finally started to realize that he wanted to deserve the right. To come home to the man that in the beginning he had barely remembered. A year was a long time though. Every day it seemed more memories trickled through the cracks but until recently none of them had been enough.
Finally though, he felt enough like himself. Those moments where the Soldier came out? They were coming fewer and much further between. His last episode had been two weeks ago. He hoped like hell maybe it would be the last. Not that he could be sure.
He found himself standing in front of an apartment door. Different apartment than the one he'd shot up. He assumed Steve had gotten a new place, but either way this was where he tracked him down to. He stared at the wooden door, feeling the metal plates in his arm shift with his nervousness. He could easily turn around and walk away, continue to stay one step ahead. The other would never find him if he didn't want to be found. Instead, he knocked before he fully lost the nerve.
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Each time and nothing came of it. He was tired. He was really tired but he knew he wouldn't give up. There could be the barest flicker of Bucky and Steve would drop everything to chase it. Sure, he still helped the Avengers when they needed him. They were his friends and he wouldn't let them down but still... Bucky was out there somewhere and Steve couldn't let it go.
A knock surprised him. He wasn't expecting anyone tonight. Maybe Mrs. Norris, the old lady who lived one apartment down the hall, needed her furniture moved again. He put down his sketchbook where he had tried a half-hearted attempt at sketching, and opened it without much thought.
Then he froze. "Bucky?"
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There was another moment of doubt, a split second of panic when he heard the lock turning where he could have rabbited, gotten the hell out of there but no. He stood his ground as the door opened and he lifted his eyes slowly. He swallowed, still just standing there before he seemed to come back to himself and spoke.
"Yeah. It...its me." He sighed, brushing fingers through his hair slowly. "Tired of running, Steve. Tired of running and fighting. I just...I wanna come home." He said it softly, the barest hint of a Brooklyn accent breaking through even after all this time. He didn't know what would come next, if Steve would usher him in and welcome him home immediately or if he would be taken before whoever was in charge now that SHIELD was done for.
Either way, he was done with it all. He just wanted some damn peace and he sure the hell felt like he deserved it after everything he'd been through. "If there's still a home to come to...anyways."
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"You've always got a home with me, Buck. Always," Steve managed to choke out the words when he let go and held Bucky at arms length just to look at him. He looked tired. Maybe a little thinner than the last time Steve saw him but that could also be the lack of armor and weapons. It didn't matter. Steve was just really fucking glad to see him.
"Come on, come in." He ushered Bucky inside, closed and locked the door behind him. This was something he hoped for since he first realized Bucky was alive and out there. Now that it had happened, though, Steve was a little bit at a loss of what to do. "What do you need? Do you want a drink? Put your stuff wherever."
He wanted Bucky to make himself at home and stay.
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He tensed up at the hug at first, not having expected it, but then he relaxed a bit, patting Steve's back awkwardly. "I...I'm still not...me. Or...the me that you knew?"
God he was fucking this up.
"I mean, I can't promise I'm like...how I used to be. I'm not. I still don't remember everything. From before. Some things are harder for me than others." He said to explain, looking around the place before sighing. It was all a bit overwhelming, including Steve speaking so fast once they were inside.
Honestly, he wondered how the man would feel if he knew that even as casually as he was dressed, Bucky was still loaded down with weapons. "I...maybe some water?" He asked, swallowing a bit and biting his lip.
He dropped his bag at the edge of the couch, looking around more. It was natural to check for escape routes and scan for anything that could be a danger, but finally he stopped himself. And that was when he started removing a few of the weapons.
By the time Steve was back with the water, he would find the coffee table covered with two lines of different sized knives and two handguns. "I didn't think you'd want me to keep these on me."
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"I'd rather they weren't on display like that in case one of my neighbors comes over asking for help," he said and crossed his arms over his chest. "You wear them if they make you feel safe but let's try not to get the cops called."
Which meant Steve wasn't going to call what remained of SHIELD on this either. The Avengers, maybe, if he thought they could help Bucky but right now it would be just the two of them.
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Bucky could easily see the way Steve's hand shook when he gave him the water. He took it, studying Steve for a long moment before taking a sip and nodding. "I just didn't think you wanted me to keep all of them on me. I'm...take them. Give them...to whoever can get rid of them. Hide them. I don't...I don't care."
He took a long moment before he actually sat down on the couch, setting the glass down on the table as he stared straight ahead. "I'm not him either. Just so you know. I mean...it comes and goes. More...goes now. Haven't had a spell in a while, but I'm not...violent. I just..." He was trying to compose his thoughts. "He gets paranoid. Holes himself up. If he feels like someone is a threat he'll do something, but the last few times its been knocking them out and moving on."
Yes, he was refering to himself and the Soldier as two people, but it was easier that way. So Steve would understand. Finally, his eyes lifted slowly and he looked at Steve. He was afraid of what he would find when he looked in the man's eyes and he wondered now if coming here had been a mistake, even if it had felt like coming home.
Gemma Teller-Morrow | Sons of Anarchy
Allison Argent | Teen Wolf
Margo Hanson | The Magicians
Desdemona | oc | ota
Qrow Branwen | RWBY | M/F
Commander M Iverson | Voltron | ota
Simon (PL600) | Detroit: Become Human | OTA
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Scott Summers/Cyclops | XMCU | ota
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Of course, he tends to come back from nowhere else but Canada. But this time he'd worked with Alpha Flight-- the X-Men's Canadian equivalent-- and the mission had required him to be there for two solid months, and as good as it'd been to hear Scott on the phone every night before bed, nothing could quite emulate the feeling of being right by his side.
That's why it's three in the morning when he arrives at Xavier's, a full twelve hours before he's expected to be back. Logan had, on his last day, decided to give a full "fuck you" to getting a good night's sleep, and hopped onto the bike Scott gave him to get home as soon as possible.
And now home he was, having snuck into the mansion without trouble. Logan sticks his key into the lock to his and Scott's room, the lock making a soft clicking noise when it catches, and then tiptoes in before shutting the door quietly behind him and locking it once more.
Logan's trying to be quiet, even when he sets his backpack down in the chair by the wardrobe, but in truth part of him hopes Scott hears him and wakes up because of it.
In any case, he unzips the Alpha Flight suit he's wearing (he hadn't even changed out of it before leaving Canada) and then pulls its sleeves off before opening the cabinets to find one of Scott's shirts to wear to bed. ]
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It didn't fully distract him from thoughts of how he'll welcome Logan home, however. All the kisses and the touches he saved up for the older mutant. And more.
He's sleeping in their bed that night, unaware of Logan entering their room until the small rustle woke him up.
Hey, babe. You're home early.
[Sitting up with a smile on his face, Scott makes grabby hands at his lover. He's filled with the strong desire to hold him and show him how much he missed him.]
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Hey, handsome.
[ The skintight Alpha Flight costume's still on him, hanging on his hips and reaching down towards his ankles, but Logan's chest is bare, and he crawls into Scott's space and leans in to kiss him nice and warm. ]
Did I wake you up? [ He's pretending to be innocent as his knees settle on either side of Scott's thighs, a smirk playing on his mouth even if the darkness of the bedroom probably makes it a little hard to see.
Logan's hands rest on Scott's shoulders, his palms pressed to his clavicle over the collar of his shirt. ] You should go back to sleep.
Duo Maxwell (Gundam Wing)
Jyn Erso | Rogue One | OTA