bakerstreet | I know that you’ve got daddy issues

Entry tags:

I know that you’ve got daddy issues

daddy/girl, daddy/boy.
an age difference meme

The further you are from that magical age, the more adulthood seems like a far-off, idyllic fantasy land. When you're an adult, no one can tell you what to do. You're on your own, you can do whatever you like, and there's absolutely nothing to answer for. At least, that's how it seems. But the grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it? As an adult, your eyes are opened. You're on your own, yes, but you cannot do whatever you'd like and there's everything to answer for. And you're alone in this world.

But perhaps you're not there yet. Perhaps you're caught up somewhere between adult and child. The existential crisis of age is beginning to dawn upon you, yet there's something in you that is still enchanted by adulthood. So it's natural that, as your sexual interests grow, you'll be interested in someone that can give you what your young peers cannot. As you've gotten older and wiser, you've learned you don't have all the answers, though you'll never admit that. Isn't it better to learn from the best and those more experienced? Yet there's still some brattiness left in you, and what could be better to stick it to authority than by being in control of somebody older than you, who should be in charge of you? You have them wrapped around your finger and that's intoxicating. Of course, letting someone else be in charge is all right; it may have to be, unless you want them to punish you.

What if you're not the younger one in this equation, though? You're the adult. How do you view your relationship with your youthful lover? It has to be just romantic...there's nothing parental about it, right? If there is or isn't, do you feel guilt? Perverse glee?

Don't become too worked up yet. This could all be a game, a kink between two of age lovers. Though society wouldn't look all too kindly on that, either...

HOW TO PLAY

-Comment with your character. Put your preferences and all that good stuff. Mention if you'd prefer the real thing or just a "roleplay" kink.
-Obviously, women are welcome to be the older party, too. Daddy just sounds better.
-Reply to others. Enjoy your depravity.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Younger lady, can be played from 18-23 depending on canon points.]

[Oh why the hell not?

Anyone want a daddy with his own daddy issues?]

Elaine meet Luke at a time when there weren't many Jedi left in the galaxy. Those few who remained were scattered across light years, practicing in secret, if they were even aware of their gifts. Elaine had discovered her own connection with the Force when she was but a child. She'd never known her biological parents, but the man who'd raised her had instructed her in the use of her gifts, seeking sway her to the dark side, and mold her in his image.

Elaine had rejected those teachings, and fled, spening the next several years moving from place to place, trying to broaden her horizons as well as her understanding of the Force. And that was how she'd found Luke. Or perhaps he had found her. It was hard to say. But one way or another, they had been drawn together, and as Elaine had studied under Luke's instruction, their relationship had grown, and deepened beyond that of a master and a student.

Needless to say, it was not the way of the Jedi as Luke understood it. Then again, nothing like this had ever come up before--his students had all been young, or related, and Luke had done quite well at keeping a safe distance between himself and, well, everyone, until it had all fallen apart.

But everything had changed, after Kylo Ren. After Luke's self-imposed exile had stripped him of his dignity as well as his hope, and he'd ended up chasing his own oblivion on a forgotten island. And that had been where he had expected to die, no further use to a galaxy that had taken all that he'd had to offer, and spat it in his face.

All this had changed yet again with another young person, swathed in darkness. But unlike Ben, Elaine had been seeking the light when she'd found him, and somehow her search had brought out something in him. The need to fan that spark in her, and in so doing, rediscovering his own. It had taken her some time to wear him down and make him agree to teach her. When she finally had, he found that his methods had... changed. Maybe it was age, maybe it was their isolation, but his teaching began to cross lines it never had before. Though it took him awhile to notice that. The wearing away of his own defenses to allow him to come back enough to teach her had eroded other barriers, and their instruction had grown almost... intimate.

But it was not until studying advanced techniques of sending and receiving thoughts and messages that it all came to, shall we say, a head. Opening himself up this much to another soul, and after so much time alone, he could not help but feel a little too much. The first time it happened, they were sitting in a hollow on the slope of the mountain, soft moss and hardy spring flowers sprinkling the small meadow. And reaching out, opening himself up to her, he had made the mistake of recalling a half-forgotten dream he'd had of a more physical instruction, of a sort he'd never consider asking a young lady, let alone a pupil, to share.

It was a beautiful spot, really. Peaceful. Secluded. Almost romantic--though in light of the lesson at hand Elaine had tried not to let herself dwell on that particular thought. Of course, the more she tried to suppress the feelings she'd begun to have toward her mentor, the stronger they seemed to grow. So when Luke had touched her mind that day, and she'd felt his thoughts drift toward his own subconscious fantasies, it had caught her by surprise.

But it had not been unwelcome.

It did, however, make it nearly impossible to shield her own response to the idea of a physical relationship--which left her feeling vulnerable, yet strangely exhilarated at the same time.

She'd felt it.

Luke's eyes flew open, his face reddening as he realized his mistake, in thinking he could hide anything from her.

"The lesson is over," he said in a choked voice, as if pretending it hadn't happened would make it go away. She'd learned too well, of course, and he had grown careless in his old age.

Elaine felt him withdraw, leaving her with a sudden sense of guilt, and emptiness. She tried not to flinch at the sound of his voice as she looked up, but she couldn’t help it. Whenever her former master had been displeased with her performance, she was punished harshly, and she was still unlearning old paterns.

That, and she she was terrified of losing the only friend she really had left. It had been so long since she'd allowed herself to trust anyone else, and now she feared she might have ruined everything.

"Forgive me, Master Skywalker," she said, falling back on formality in an attempt to mask her feelings. "I should never have allowed my mind to wander in such a way."

Luke blinked at her, pausing in the act of rising to his feet, because her answer struck him as ... sad, somehow. Injured. And he had injured her, unthinking.

"You owe me no apology," he said, forcing gentleness past his own embarrassment. "I have grown thoughtless, undisciplined. My mind wandered, my thoughts..." He looked down. "Unworthy of your trust in me.

"Will you forgive me, Elaine?"

"Of course." Elaine nodded, answering without hesitation.

Perhaps she would have been slower to forgive if he hadn’t seemed so sincerely ashamed of what had happened, but she'd sensed nothing malicious or manipulative in his thoughts. It seemed to her that, whatever boundaries he might have crossed, it had been completely accidental. A moment of vulnerability between two people who had been alone for far too long.

"But you don't have to be so lonely anymore, master. I trust you." She wanted to reach out to him, but she sensed that might only hasten his retreat. So instead she simply tried to catch his gaze. "I care for you."

Something in her tone caught at him, and he lifted his eyes and met hers in time to blink at what he read there.

It was possible that she was simply reassuring him that his blunder was forgiven, but it seemed unlikely, with the way she was looking at him. His breath caught, his brow furrowed, and he immediate stopped thinking about how to move on from this embarrassing incident. Option, potentially, to make it worse.

"Elaine," he said gently, "you don't have to offer me... whatever comfort you think I want to hear."

"I don't--" Elaine protested, shaking her head. If she were to guess, she supposed what he wanted was to pretend that nothing happened. Never speak of it again. She wasn't merely trying to please her master, and anticipate his wishes. At least, that wasn't her only motivation.

"I just felt it should be said. That's all." She sighed. "I respect you, and I understand there should be boundaries, but it's always better to be honest. To acknowledge one's emotions, rather than try to conceal and suppress them. Isn't it?"

You had to be able to acknowledge a thing before you could let it go. Right?

He could, of course, accept this as the end, and move on. Passively acknowledge her words and ignore the meaning, and they would go on as before, pretending it hadn't happened.

Until he slipped again, or the guilt he felt upon waking from an unwanted dream was too much for him. Further, there was a sort of deep-seated curiosity compelling him to delve further, to make sure he understood where his pupil was coming from, because he valued honesty and openness.

"Hold on," he said, raising a metal hand. "Let me make sure I understand... what you're saying. You're right that to conceal emotions is to let them fester, to let ignorance be your guide rather than experience. So... what is it, exactly, that you feel?"

Elaine smiled nervously, relieved that he wasn't simply going to dismiss her, but feeling suddenly self-conscious at the prospect of putting her feelings into words. Her experience with romantic entanglements was admittedly rather limited--one of her fellow apprentices under Master Du Morne--and the fact that said feelings were now directed toward her teacher made them that much more complex. But she had to start somewhere.

"Admiration...affection...attraction." She watched him closely, trying to read his response, but she knew that he'd had much more training than she had, and much more practice guarding his expression. That he'd let her glimpse such intimate thoughts just moments earlier had almost certainly been a fluke. "I know you'll probably tell me that it's just infatuation--that I'm projecting my emotions onto the first positive figure I've had in my life--and maybe you'd be right. After all, I've been telling myself the same thing. But the feelings are there, all the same."

[ooc: called away for family emergency, sorry for delay]

Luke had only half believed what he was saying, when he'd given her a Jedi-like rationale for revealing her feelings. Now that she'd told him, he realized he was, in fact, almost entirely a dirty old man, because she was saying nearly exactly what he'd want to hear.

If he was having a dream he could easily dismiss later, half-remembered with the sort of delicious sort of shame you privately court.

This realization came at the cost of his composure, and so that practiced Jedi stoicism cracked a bit and he stared at her with wide eyes that looked almost confused at her confession. He could easily imagine himself dismissing her fancies as infatuation, as she'd said. That wasn't hard to believe. What was hard to believe was a woman, not to mention a strong, beautiful woman, feeling any of that for him.

He blinked, trying to get himself back under control, and shook his head--tellingly refusing to meet her eyes directly.

"Yes... infatuation," he mumbled gruffly. "Just... feelings stirred up by too long alone with an old man on an island. You're not to blame for them."

He was. Both for her perceived feelings and... his own.

Elaine swallowed, trying not to show her disappointment as Luke gave the expected answer. She'd know he would, of course. She'd been almost certain of it. But the shock on his face when she'd given her expression had given her a fleeting glimmer of hope before he’d retreated back behind the mask of Jedi stoicism.

"Are you going to send me away, Master?" she asked, lifting her chin in stubborn defiance of the sinking feeling in her stomach. Daring him to look her in the eyes and tell her to her face that he didn't want her. She stood, and took a step closer, as if that would somehow close the rift that seemed to have opened up between them. "Or can we find some way to deal with these feelings and continue working together?"

Send her away. Yes, that was an option, he thought. So that he would not be tempted, and she would not succumb to whatever influence he was having on her.

But that, too, was selfish. Halting her training because he could not control himself, offering her no recourse for the questions and the power. Offering, rather, an excuse to seek answers elsewhere. And he could think of no good end for such a search. No, he could not send her away, without risking disaster, and for what? Because he was a fool and she was ... mistaken?

"No," he said gruffly, one hand playing with the hem of his robe unconsciously. "I won't send you away. You've done nothing wrong, child. I won't have you thinking I've abandoned you because I cannot control unacceptable thoughts."

Yes. Perhaps if he thought of her as a child, he could move past this. She was not, by any stretch of the imagination, but he had as my duty to her as if she were.

"Thank you, Master," Elaine murmured, bowing her head in acknowledgment. There was a part of her that wanted to argue, but she realized to vehemently insist that she was not a child would only undermine her own argument. She didn't really believe he thought of her as one, but she knew from experience just how difficult it could be to change his mind.

Perhaps their relationship would evolve, in time. Perhaps not. Perhaps she was the one whose feelings would change. But if she truly cared for him, surely she could accept that, and allow things to unfold as they would. She'd rather have him as a mentor, only, than not to have him in her life at all.

"For what it's worth, I remember how it felt when I broke free of Du Morne's influence. Your presence is nothing like that. I know you had no intention of taking advantage, and I don't think any less of you for...being human. I hope you won't judge yourself too harshly, either."

Edited 2018-09-22 09:02 (UTC)

[I'm sorry!]

There was a small twinge of disappointment, when she accepted his answer, and he wanted to kick himself for it. There was being human, he told himself, and there was being a dirty old man. But when she encouraged him not to judge himself, he could only laugh--sharp and bitter.

"It is too late for that, Elaine," he shook his head. "Though I appreciate your faith in me."

[I'm enjoying the thread anyway!]

Elaine's heart ached at the sound of his harsh laugh. She hadn't expected her words to assuage his guilt so easily--Jedi were never good at dealing with emotions, were they?--but she'd felt it was worth saying anyway. That he ought to hear it, even if it wouldn't change they way he felt.

"Stop that," she said, reaching out to him. She wanted to caress his face, to hold him--or maybe grab him by the cowl of his robe and shake some sense into him--but she'd settled for grasping his arm. Respectful. Chaste. But insistent. "If I don't get to wallow in my mistakes, then neither do you."

Either motion would have surprised him greatly, but at least either motion would have allowed Luke to disengage from her, to step back and put distance between them. As it was, he could not remove his arm from her grasp without acknowledging that it meant something, so the safest course seemed to be to leave it be.

Which meant he could feel the heat from her fingers through his rough-spun robe like a brand.

"No," he acknowledged after a long moment, "I suppose that is not an example I should set. My mistakes, however... far outweigh any peace I might find."

If she were honest, Elaine had half expected him to pull away from her before. Pleasantly surprised when he did not, she let her hand linger a while, mindful of the warmth and solidity of the contact. The coarse texture of the fabric against her palm was strangely grounding.

She didn't need the Force to sense the heaviness of her master's words. She bore the weight of what she had done under her old master's influence. "Am I to believe the Dark is so much stronger than the Light, that we can never find peace?"

He'd asked much the same question, once, and it pained him to have her ask it now. It implied that the fight was never done, that it was never truly over.

That there was no rest for him, not really.

"No," he said softly, placing his hand over hers. "Not stronger, or neither of us would be here. But requiring more subtlety, perhaps, to guard us against the Dark. I think inner peace cannot be the goal, for those who seek to maintain it in the world."

Elaine nodded, sighing softly as Luke's hand rested over hers and his words settled into her mind. If wrestling the darkness--within and without--was what it took to make the world a better place; if she could be a light for others like herself who might otherwise lose their way, then it was worth the struggle, wasn't it? At least now she knew that she was not alone.

"If we can't calm the storm inside, then what? Do we embrace it? Redirect it? How?"

She wondered if any Jedi had ever learned the answer to those questions, or if they all just kept searching, from one life into the next.

[ 13' troll or 7'3" human. Either way, big buff daddy up for grabs, perfect for scaling like a mountain and perching like you own it. ]

(( Pam is a vampire of about 120 years old or so. F/F preferred, but I will take F/M for a submissive guy. I'm entertained by the thought of her insisting on being called "daddy", but I can't see her being mad at "mommy/mama" either. 17+ ))

Edited 2018-08-31 06:10 (UTC)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know that you’ve got daddy issues

Luna Lovegood l Harry Potter

Luke Skywalker | Star Wars

lmk if this works

o7

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

WOW I FAILED THE PREMISE OF THIS MEME

LOL things don't always go as planned!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Grand Highblood | Homestuck (OU/AU) | OTA

Pamela Swynford de Beauford | True Blood