bakerstreet | leggy my eggy

[Let's face it, 3am Denny's is a Beau kind of meme. Stagger in after a fight, sprawl on the table, eat some shitty bacon.]

The bacon here isn't even that good! Not even by our standards! You could put ketchup on your shoe and it'd taste better.

[Molly, having retrieved his plate of waffles, tries to shove Beau's legs out of the way so he'll have a place to put them.]

Your standards are terrible. You need to love yourself, even if you are also terrible.

Mnph. It's cheap.

[Beau bites a chunk of her hideously crunchy bacon, and pointedly hooks a leg around the table's base to where it will not be shoved. Then kicks at Molly for good measure. Not that she can see to aim her kick, when most of her torso is covering this half of the table.]

And I can eat it now. Sometimes that's all a girl wants. Fuck quality. I have bacon at....... what is it. Four in the morning?

Edited (borked small tag is unborked) 2018-08-22 19:11 (UTC)

[She can't see to aim, but Molly is right next to her leg, so it's still a near thing. Fortunately, he'd been braced for something like that, because this is Beau he's antagonizing. So he ducks aside at the last minute, though Beau will still be able to feel a few ornamental chains rattle as her foot whips by.]

Getting there. [At the reminder, he finds himself stifling a yawn.] You do understand that the more you try to keep me from this table, the more I'm going to keep trying to eat here, right?

[Because that's just the kind of relationship they have and just the kind of mood he's in. To prove it, he leans an elbow on Beau's leg and balances his plate in his lap to eat.]

[She makes a face at the pressure from his elbow, twisting a little to reduce the pressure and make sure he can't do any real harm by pushing down, then pushes up his elbow. Get off.]

Look, [Beau twists around and points a strip of bacon his way, the tip dangling back and forth.] If I finish eating before you sit down... I don't care, because, I win.

[Still a good amount of food on her plate, even if half of it's bacon.]

[Molly attempts to exert just enough pressure to keep his elbow right where it is. No.

...admittedly, it's a bit more of an effort than it should be and Molly finds that he's impressed despite himself because honestly, who really needs this much muscle in their legs?]

How are we counting "sitting down", then? Do you lose if I sit on the floor, or if I sit on you, or...? Come on, a game's no fun without at least a couple of rules.

[Molly shoves another forkful of waffle into his mouth. He's momentarily tempted to snatch that piece of bacon out of Beau's hand, but no, no, that would be too great an admission of weakness.]

[Molly, please. For all Beau makes a big deal about doing pushups every morning, she doesn't skip out on leg day - that's how she runs around as quick as she does.

She takes the question more seriously than it deserve, and taps that dangling tip against her mouth a couple times.]

Mmmm. The floor's defeat. That's just giving up and sticking around. Sitting on me... Well, if you want to try wrestling me, then whoever's on top at the end wins.

[Beau grins at him, or maybe snarls, then crunches on the bacon strip. One of those ambiguous angry-looking bared teeth expression so common for her.]

[Molly draws back a little as Beau turns to bare her teeth at him, raising his eyebrows.

Don't show fear. She can probably smell fear. He grins instead. She's definitely the scariest thing in this place but she's not the scariest thing in the world, after all.]

Sounds like fun, but it also sounds like it might be creeping in on Yasha's territory.

You could also give me some of that bacon and I'd go away.

[Not yet. But she's working on it.

Though some tieflings around here keep inspiring ideas of being nice and helping people and seeing the world be a better place instead of a place that just fears her, and that's slowing the process a little.]

Huh. [Tap, tap, goes the bacon.] You think... You think she'd be into that?

[It's sinking in her graps, her fingers going relaxed in distraction. Easy to steal.]

[Easy to steal, but god damn it, Molly is not so much of a bastard as to punish Beau for (rightly) pining after Yasha by stealing her food.

Much as he wishes he could be. Ah, well. Being able to taunt Beau by being the Resident Yasha Expert will have to suffice.]

I absolutely think she would.

Yasha is a lovely person with many, varied, fascinating layers. And among those are, you might have noticed, some very deep set anger issues.

She's often told me she feels better after getting to work them out beating something into a fine paste. If you could provide the fight without the paste...oh yeah, I think she'd be very happy.

[Beau goes... dreamy, for a brief second. It's the best word for it; her eyes glaze over and she smiles a small, soft, wistful, genuine smile...

Then she bites her lip, smirking as her thoughts go into more lurid vivid detail, and she laughs.]

Shit, that's hot. I gotta...

[Beau half rises from her seat, talking like she's trying to convince herself to actually go for it this time.]

I mean, she never really offered to fight all fight club style, but if she'd be interested, I can't just let her... sit on the outside, wanting it, and... all.

[Beau is just absolutely disgusting, sometimes, and Molly is absolutely not going to stop and think about the fact that this thought is actually tinged with kind of a rush of fondness.]

Well, it's not the sort of thing you just offer out of the blue, is it? She knows that. She's read a book on manners and everything.

But you, though, you wouldn't know manners if they sat on you! [He pats Beau encouragingly on the shoulder.] So you can bring it up.

[The romance leaves her face at his discouraging encouragement, and she wrinkles her nose at him.]

Fight club's plenty mannerly, [she defensively insists, and flicks at his patting hand.] You don't just... whale on someone out of the blue, you warn them. Or invite them, like I'm going to, all mannerly. Just a good... pounding match. And, you know, if it goes to other kinds of pounding...

[She shrugs, trying to hide how seriously she's hoping this, but Molly. Move so she can leave this booth without knocking you over, you've won the seat.]

((ooc: Man, I have a sudden need for a timeskip to a newly relationshipped Beau giving Molly shit/advice for his crush on Caleb.))

[There are more important things in life than winning seats! Like making sure that Beau is going to treat Yasha right. The two of them can disagree on everything else under the sun, but at least they can agree that Yasha deserves the best.

He admittedly only understands half of what she's getting at, if that, but after a moment, Molly decides that she still at least sounds likeshe's got the right idea. So he steps aside and theatrically motions for her to go ahead, and then of course he absolutely takes his hard-won seat.]

I'll buy you more bacon if it doesn't work out! [Never let it be said he can't be magnanimous in victory.]

Edited 2018-08-30 18:55 (UTC)

((ooc: honestly, that sounds pretty good. i was trying to decide between whether beau would get cold feet a few minutes after leaving and do a very non-sexy walk of shame back to the denny's booth, or if she'd get in contact a bit later to ask advice on things yasha likes but doesn't talk about... but beau giving molly shit, advice, and most importantly shitty advice on caleb? i love it.))

[As Molly's getting settled and makes that charming comment, Beau grumbles and turns around, leaning forward on the table with one hand and gesturing with the other.]

Hey, come on me, don't jynx me. [Choosing between wooing Yasha and free bacon? Is her heart really in it anymore?] I got this!

[She's going to be talking herself up until she pulls out her phone, and then it's just going to wilt into some sad invite where somehow Jester, Fjord, and all the rest of the gang are invited to fight club.]

[At least Beau won't have to admit her shame to Molly personally. Jester, being Jester, immediately texts Molly about the fight club invite, and then he lets his head thump against the tabletop with a heartfelt groan.

Beau. Beau. You are killing him here. You actually had Molly rooting for you for like a solid five minutes.

Nevermind, nevermind. He'll put in the order for more bacon as promised and maybe it'll be waiting for her by the time she slinks back inside.]

I blame myself, really. I should have known your need to take flagrant advantags of me would win out any day.

[Oh, for all she's swaggering her full frat boy walk as she comes in, she and he both know it's a slink of shame. She scowls and plops in the opposite seat, and plops her face in curling hands like she's trying to strangle herself from the face first.]

I had it, and then this kid came out with a takeout box, and the fucking smell... No, you know what it was? [Beau pulls her head up just enough to stare daggers at Molly.]

You know what? I was doing it, I was inviting her, and she was like, 'just you and me, then?' But in that mild, kinda sad way she gets, when she totally doesn't want to say no, but doesn't want to say yes, either? She got like that, and I just bailed. What the hell. How does anyone make plans with her when she gets like that. Fuck.

[Maybe if she digs her fingers in her cheekbones enough, they'll make a dimensional hole for her to disappear into.]

[Molly drums his fingers on the tabletop in irritation.] Even if I believed that you got that far, and that is a very big allowance on my part, you're being ridiculous! Even for you! That's just how her voice is, Beau!

[He's maybe getting a bit protective at this perceived slight to Yasha's honor.] It's like how you look like you're planning a murder whenever you smile. Its not anything you can control.

[The more Molly tells her true things that she doesn't want to hear, the more her head slides down her arms until she's finally just resting it on the tabletop.]

Mrmph. I'm working on controlling it. You know, making an effort. [Who knows if Yasha even knows it's a thing, or if it's really truly not a thing outside Beau's flustered mind.

Beau reaches out for Molly's bacon for consolation via grease meat.]

[He takes a few strips for himself and then slides the plate across to Beau. Its technically her bacon, after all, her greasy meat of consolation. Let it never be said that Molly is not a tiefling of his word on those rare occasions he can talked into making a direct promise.]

At least you got a fight club out of it, I suppose. Caleb and I will watch from a safe distance, I suppose. [And tilt the battle in favor of whoever they wanted, with magic and maledictions.

As for Nott, Molly didn't dare want to assume what side she might get it into her head to take.]

[Chin still flat on the table, she slowly turns her head so it's resting on the other cheek. Defeated, but a tiny bit of life in her still.]

And you'll tell him all about how it started, I suppose. [She echoes him in what's supposed to be a menacing tone, but then she interrupts it by attempting and failing to take a bite of the bacon on her first shot. Lying on the table like this, she has to adjust the angle of her arm to get it in her mouth.

Nott... She's a wildcard, but Beau has the advantage of being slightly shorter than Jester. Small solidarity might win out.]

I might. [He smirks at her, idly tearing a paper straw wrapper to pieces.]

Then again, I have a feeling he won't give the slightest damn how it came about, which takes some of the fun out of it. [He sighs theatrically at the unfairness of being denied more fun.

So take heart, Beau, the secret of your shame is safe with him.]

That's... probably true. [The thought heartens her enough that she lifts her chin from the table to rest it on her wrist.] He'll just nod, not listening, you know how he gets.

[That, or he'll seem not to notice or care, and then suddenly bring it up days or weeks later. Caleb remembers everything he pays enough attention to, it's a pain sometimes. But Beau decides not to worry too much about that; as long as Molly doesn't think he'll care and doesn't bother mentioning it, it won't come up.]

Let's be honest, he'll probably just bring a book and have done with it. [Molly laughs fondly despite the teasing words, resting his chin in one hand.

He notices that Beau seems a little livelier, too.] So, there you have it. Your humiliation, at least in this specific instance, seems to be a temporary thing. [He spread his arms grandly, a theatrical sort of ta-da gesture.]

Just gotta roll with the punches, Beauregard. That's one thing even I won't argue you're good at.

[If she were drunk to the point of maudlin, she might complain that it's the only thing she's good at. Punching, rolling with punches. Just punching all the way down.

Instead, she raises a strip of bacon and wags it like a disapproving teacher.]

One of these days, [she warns him,] You'll be the one humiliated. You can't stay out of it forever, Mollymauk.

Beauregard | Critical Role: Campaign 2 | OTA

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