( the voicemail meme )

[barememecessities]

the voicemail meme



Sometimes you're busy or you're late or you're away, asleep, you just don't wanna talk, whatever the reason, you didn't pick up in time and the caller gets your voicemail rather than you. What did they want and what kind of message do they leave behind?






How to play:

- Post with your character, include name, fandom, preferences and if you want, what their voicemail sounds like, so any commenters know what they're answering to.
- Others leave a voice message on your character's answer phone.
- Now your character calls them back! Play out their conversation!
- Profit.

Comments

n i n a manganiello ( original ) ota

[serenadings]

( character info in journal. )




" This is Nina. Not around right now. I'll call you back, have a nice day! "

Nakahara Chuuya | Bungou Stray Dogs

[minimafia]

[A standard voice recording listing only the number, no name, and saying the person is unavailable right now.]

yukina ❆ yu yu hakusho ❆ ota

[crylittlesister]

-I don't think I want my voice on this, couldn't it steal-

BEEP.

[nicebruise]

"Yukina? It's me, Keiko! Sorry, I hope I didn't call at a bad time. I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out today. Talk to you later!"

9S | nier: automata | ota

[hackerlad]

[A serene woman's voice, unexpectedly, with a tonally even keel on par with an automated tone on the end of a customer service line:]

"Report: This communication channel is keyed to YoRHa unit 9S. Incoming messages will be transferred to temporary storage, as unit 9S is unable to open transmissions at this time. This may be due to jamming of communication signals in vicinity, or engagement of immediately present enemies. Unit 9S will be alerted of stored messages at the earliest opportunity. Proposal: Message sender should state their identification, and record a message after the following tone."

[a soft, clean chime]

[memo]

9S, this is Connor, model RK800. I have an important message to pass along to you that cannot be left over message. Please return my call as soon as possible.

I await your call.

( connor's voice is firm, automatic, and quick when he leaves his message. )

steve rogers | mcu

[pointedsouth]

[It sounds rehearsed:]

You've reached the voice mailbox of Steve Rogers. I'm unavailable at this time. Please state your name, business, and telephone number. I will return your call as soon as I become available.

voice

[ex_skillset331]

It's me. Your security is shit and there's nothing in the icebox. 555-0413.

Jean-Paul Beaubier/Northstar | X-Men | OTA

[speed_of_snark]

"Allo. Laisses-moi un message."

[A brief pause before switching to accented English.]

"Allo. Leave me a message."

Prompto Argentum | FFXV | ota

[fanfarest]

" Dah dah dah daaaaah, You've reached the phone of Prompto Argentum, Sorry but I was busy so leave a message and I'll get back atcha"

James Buchanan Barnes | MCU

[not_without_you]

[Clearly arguing with someone quietly in the background]

"I don't know what I'm doin' this for. No one is gonna call me. No one even knows my number! Oh, for the love of Chri- Fine!"

[Louder and into the phone]

"You've reached the phone of the world's most notorious assassin slash Wakanda's best goat herder. If you're callin' to swear revenge, press 1. If you're Steve, press 2. If you're Natasha, press 3. For all other options, hang up. Happy now, Steve?"

Steve Rogers | MCU

[brooklyn_boy]

"..all I'm saying is that we have a younger kid on the team now and we should be monitoring our language a bit better. ...No, I don't care what he might hear at school. Although, I really think someone should have a talk with them about monitoring impressionable young mi-? Tony? Tony, what are you doing with my phone?"

Connor ~ Detroit: Become Human ~ OTA

[mission_accomplished]

[ Click ]

RK800 model Connor serial #313 248 317 -52 is currently unavailable. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Please follow instructions:

[ Click ]

If you would like to leave a message, press 1 and Connor shall get back to you as soon as convenient.

If Connor was killed once again and you would like to order a new model, press 2.

If you were the one who happened to kill Connor, press 3 followed by your account number and Cyberlife will bill you accordingly.

If you are deviant and recently killed a human, press 4 and Connor will come as soon as possible to interrogate you.

If you have adorable pictures of dogs to send to Connor, press 5.

If you would like to hear this list in any of the other 300 languages available press #.

Thank you for using Cyberlife services, we wish you a wonderful day, please stand by for repeat of list.

[ beep ]

[calculust]

[ she happily presses five. ]

Oh hi! So, the dog pics. I saw the cutest dog today. Several, actually, This one had his tongue out a lot! Should I text it instead? I'm going to text it.

[ it is totally happening. have at least ten of them, all of them containing the best bleps and mlems. ]

Peter Parker • MCU • OTA

[awesomeee]

( Because having a regular voicemail message just seems distressingly boring, Peter's only message to missed callers is - perhaps ill-advisedly - as much of the lyrical artistry of Despacito as the voicemail recording will allow. Spoiler: it's a lot.

Ya boy's a disaster and he won't be stopped. )

[innerbeauty]

-this is the best part!

[ No, it's not. It's all terrible.

After an uncomfortably long pause, because the horror never ends: ]

Goodbye. I didn't have a message to leave, I just wanted to hear the song.

This is Mantis.

[ Click.

And then, there are at least five more similar messages over the span of a day or so. Please, send her the mp3 or something. ]

Valkyrie • MCU

[drunketh]

"I'm busy. Don't try and contact me again - if I need to get back in touch with you, I will.

Or I won't."

Yamada Hizashi // Present Mic || BNHA

[yeeaaaahhhhhhhh]

"Hey there listener~! You've reached the Pro Hero, Present Mic! If this is a civilian calling for help, please hang up and call emergency services immediately. Otherwise.. you know what to do!"

tygra, thundercats (ota)

[sinews]

This is Tygra. If you're calling so I can pass on a message to Lion-O, don't bother; I'm not his secretary. If you aren't about to waste my time, go ahead.

Norman Jayden | Heavy Rain

[jayden_blues]

You've reached Agent Norman Jayden, FBI. I'm unable to take your call right now. Leave a message. I'll get back to you.

donna sheridan | mamma mia

[chiquitita]

[ the first part of her voice mail is totally sung btw. because she's donna from donna and the dynamos and thats how they do! ]

Ring, ring, why don't you give me a call? Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all... This is Donna, leave a message!

Frank Castle | Marvel

[franko]

[If you even have this number you probably know better than to expect anything besides-]

Leave your message.

[skied]

Francis,

( a suave lilt of an accent hums into the receiver, an almost perpetual smirk to her tone. )

I've something that belongs to you.

( smoothly stated and left at that, the line goes dead a moment after. )

Harley Quinn | DCEU

[revmeup]

"It's Harley. Make me laugh."

nick j. "shut the goddamn hell up" fury

[oculatus]

"How the hell did you get this number?"

[morphogenia]

[There's definitely some banging noises in the background. And some guy shouting Is she seriously on her phone right now? while another is asking if she's allowed to do that.] You don't know how I got.... Wait. Duh. I don't have to explain that so... Hey! I'm just calling because I definitely didn't have a situation on my hands that I wanted a consult on. Everything is fine! I hope you're having a great day and not in the middle of something terrifying and spy-related. If you were one. Which you're not.

Please delete this after the message is done... so now. Bye!

frank castle or whatever

[oorah]

You've reached the voice-mail message box of: Peter Castiglione. After the tone, please record your message.

Brendan Frye | Brick

[sixup]

"Spill the details I'm looking for or lose this number."

Matt Holt | Voltron: Legendary Defender

[tookashirototheknee]

Hi, this is Matt Holt. If you have this communicator number, you know what to do. If you're not someone I've given this number to, I will backtrace you and wipe your phone.

Leave it at the tone!

kamala khan | marvel 616

[morphogenia]

Hi! You've reached Kamala. I'm probably in class or out running so leave a message after a beep.

Hank Anderson | Detroit: Become Human

[dcpd]

"Hank Anderson. You know what the fuck to do."

- beep

[greeted]

( there's seven missed calls prior to this one, all without messages attached. it's the eighth when he finally leaves a voicemail. )

Lieutenant, it's Connor. ( he doesn't say 'the android sent by cyberlife' but there's a length of silence where it would fit. ) I have discovered an interesting approach to expressing emotions, and I believe your input on the matter will be important. Please respond at your earliest convenience, or I may have to find an alternative method of contact—

( beeeeeeeeeeeep )

octavia blake, the 100. (up to 3x10)

[ragely]

( almost grumbled, a name isn't provided: )

"Don't leave anything you don't want to be tracked."