The Be My Therapist Meme

[memesrus]

The Be My Therapist Meme

Your characters have been trapped in a strange but comfortable room, with a big desk and couch, and now have to spend some time either talking about their problems or listening to other people's problems and trying to give good advice. Both is fine, too.

The room itself will compel them to at least try to play those roles, and will only release them after they do what it wants them to do.

The problems can be silly or serious, deep or shallow, it's all up to you.

[The List Of Possible Problems]

1. Small but still sucky problems that are just bothersome- They've gotten bad grades at school, they have a bad hair day, they fought with a friend about something really silly, etc etc.

2. Love, relationships and family problems - They're fighitng with their SO, they think their spouse might be cheating on them, they have Mother/Father Issues, their siblings are their worst enemy, etc etc.

3. Lifechanging problems - They flunked out of school, they find out they have superpowers, they find out they are the only one who can pilot a super robot, etc etc.

4. 'Our world as we know it is in danger' type problems - The Dark Lord is raising and is trying to take over their world, they have zombie problems, the Evil Space Empire is coming for their planet, their experiments with time travel ended up unraveling reality, etc etc.

5. Work related problems - They have to deal with the boss from hell, how are they supposed to defend the Earth with all those budget cuts, etc etc

6. Money problems - They have to deal with budgeting, inheritance problems, etc etc. Or maybe they just can't afford that fancy car...

7. Trauma related problems - Something bad happened to them, be it the deaths of important people or being trapped in a warzone or anything else, and they have to deal with the resulting trauma.

8. Really cracky problems - I hate my superheroine uniform, my brother always chews my slippers when he turns into a werewolf and I wish he'd stop, etc etc.

9. Something else

[How To]

1. Post as your character. (Please write down the name and canon/fandom of the character in the subject line, and also if they're canon, AU, crossover or OC, etc.)

2. Please choose your character's role - Therapist (Counsellor) or Client - and set the first scene. Setting the scenes for both is fine, too. (It is also all right for the characters to take turns being the therapist and the client, if that's what you want to do)

3. Tag, thread and have fun!

Comments

Sherlock Holmes | BBC SHERLOCK | OTA

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

{{OOC: Please use threads below to tag if Sherlock is Therapist or Patient.}}

Sherlock as Therapist

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock is sitting in his leather chair at 221B Baker Street. He is reading a book as he is waiting for his next client. John is away at the surgery, so doesn't know that Sherlock does this on the side.]

Drusilla | BTVS | Client | Problem #2

[beautiful_insanity]

[Cognitive therapy had been suggested, but really what good could it possibly do? Most who know Drusilla would probably tell whatever doctor she's seeing that she needs a good dose of electroshock. At any rate, she's seated on a couch in the room where the session is about to take place. Her eyes are on the clock.]

Tick... Tick... Tick. Goodness, it if carries on at this rate, the dearest doctor will be late.

[demon_magnet]

[ It seemed like an easy enough job. Sit in a comfy chair and listen to people talk about the things that were bothering them, maybe offer some advice, and then bam. Rent for the month, with just a few hours' work.

(And sure, okay, he was pretty sure you were supposed to have a degree or some training or something in order to work as a therapist, but this was Sunnydale. Stranger things had happened!)

So Xander, in his going-out polo and mostly ironed Dockers, bursts through the door with seconds to spare, a great apologetic grin splashed across his face... a grin that fades along with all the color in his cheeks as he recognizes the woman sitting on the couch. ]

Wrong room.

[ Spinning on his heel, Xander takes a step back, reaching behind himself to grab for the doorknob, rattling it frantically. The door doesn't budge. Crap. Crap. ]

Definitely the wrong room.

Yaha | Drakengard 2 | Patient

[barebacking]

Re: Yaha | Drakengard 2 | Patient

[manipuliert]

[[ooc: Before I start, are there any problems in particular you'd like to pick from the list of problems above or should we see what happens as things progress?]]

Levi (Glen) Baskerville | Therapist | OTA

[pretimeskip]

[ooc: worst therapist ever.]

3

[apoisonedrose]

I don't need a therapist. I'm not crazy! [He just wants to kill a girl who stole his place as perfect weapon. That's not bad.]

Besides I know how to solve it, it's just not widely accepted by society....

britta perry | community

[ftws]

[only the best therapist ever.]

8 - don't hate me

[174awhile]

-and I know they're...copulating loudly on purpose, just to upset me. They know I can hear them perfectly without the theatrics--I told you I can read minds, as you'll recall from earlier in the session--so it's blatantly excessive! And they know I know that! And they also know I'll never say anything about it--to our mother, Esme. It's terribly uncouth and I do try to respect my family's privacy. Just when they're abusing my insight like this... I wonder if I should threaten to tell Esme.

[he stops his rant to look over at Britta, waiting for her input.]

Young Neil | Scott Pilgrim | Client

[ijustlivehere]

[Neil is only here because the academic counsellor at his university continually urged him to at least give it a try. He's trying very hard to will himself to melt into the floor and disappear while he waits to be called back for his appointment.]

Kariya Masaki | Inazuma Eleven GO! | ota

[netting_nettles]

Therapist

[It's easy to tell Kariya isn't taking this too seriously, because he's playing with the cheesily academic spectacles he found resting on top of the room's desk. They're a little too big for him, and he's burning time blinking through them up towards the ceiling, instead of over towards the couch. He's smirking.

Apparently, they're not getting out of here until they have positive dialogue or whatever-the-hell. Doesn't mean he can't act like he knows this is BS.]

So-o...tell me about your mother?

[Or, y'know, like a huge loser.]

Client

[No way is he laying down on that couch.

He's going to sit there and sulk over the mere fact that he's stuck having to touch it and to be in this room. He doesn't need therapy. He's well-adjusted! Anyway, he's certainly not crazy. And by no means does he want to talk about family or school or anything else.

Actually, from the way he's staring down the other party in the room, Kariya seems pretty opposed to talking in general, right now.]

((OOC: Either role is fine, as is more free form back-and-forth stuff. You just have to choose Kariya with or without dumb glasses in that case! I'd prefer to avoid too cracky topics, but everything else is aces.))

Kariya as the therapist~

[ladyofruinmode]

[It's pretty plain to see that Raine thinks this is a load of bull too. But since she's talking to a child (and one that reminds her of her little brother, at that), she manages to keep a biting edge out of her voice. Even if her words seem to indicate that one wouldn't be out of place.]

Would you like me to start at the beginning of my list of grievances or the most recent?

Kazuya Minegishi | Devil Survivor | OTA

[kingofbelheir]

heather mason | silent hill

[darkroots]

( Client. Mixture of 3 and 7. )

Tachikoma | Ghost in the Shell

[spiderbot]

[Either, although therapist would be kind of hilarious.]

therapist, because I think the only being the warden would trust is a robot. XD

[prisonwonka]

[There's a fidgety little man for today's session dressed in a highly singular outfit. Honestly, The Warden doesn't trust therapists at all. They are usually the first to deny his vision and under coded phrases, call him insane. Still, he cheers up a bit when he sees Tachikoma.]

Aren't you just a beautiful thing?

Edward Cullen | Twilight

[174awhile]

[therapist; let eddy boo boo heal your boo boos with the power of his dazzling love]

oh god i don't even know

[accidentalrebellion]

[What if she said no

B|

Anyway. Katniss? Does not want to be here. It's more than evident in literally every cell of her body, and definitely in the daggers she glares across the room as she takes her seat. They may be forcing her physical presence in here, but that doesn't mean she has to comply with this... "therapy." No. If she has any say in the matter, in her own fate, her mouth will remain firmly shut for this entire hour.

So go ahead, Eddy Boo Boo. Just try to get her to talk.]

steve rogers / captain america ( mcu )

[carob]

[client, obvs.]

[vetrarosa]

[ Hello, this is Aerith, and she will be your therapist for the duration of their sessions.

It's a homey, warm office, with large glass windows, plenty of sunlight, and flowers. There are couches she's selected personally, comfortable and casual, as well as some of the crayon paintings the children she had worked with gave her, proudly framed on the wall. No certs, no licenses, thank you -- because putting that up is just tacky.

She'd scrapped the corporate look of it entirely, finding a particular aversion to the clinical for something as personal as therapy sessions. People are generally not here to be diagnosed; they're here to get help, and Aerith is quite inclined to make sure that they have it.

And so here she is, with Steve's file left unopened and unread, stashed somewhere she'd forget because reading up on someone instead of getting to know them as themselves seems a little bit disingenuous. A half-completed crossword puzzle from this morning's paper is left on the glass coffee table, and the welcoming scent of freshly brewed tea is ever present.

She's pouring the tea into two mismatched mugs, talking to him over her shoulder. ]

Do take a seat, Steve, anywhere is fine.

Cheetara | Thundercats (2011) | OTA

[clericsdoitbest]

[OOC: Therapist or patient.]

Sarah Williams | Return to Labyrinth | OTA

[notimefordreams]

[OOC: Either or.]

Sherlock Holmes - BBC's Sherlock - OTA (trigger warning for mentions of violence and drug use)

[notquiteheartless]

[Therapist:

The art of disguise is hiding in plain sight.

Doctor Adrian Wallis visited 221B three days ago and collapsed. He was dead within minutes. It was done quietly, the body taken away by discreet police Lestrade trusted. Sherlock Holmes knew before the results came back that he'd been poisoned.

By itself, that was hardly remarkable. The rest of the case proved too interesting, though. Dr Wallis had only recently moved to London from Edinburgh, knew no one in town. He'd been to his new office once, after the rest of the building had gone, to look over the files his predecessor left. The next night, the office was burglarised and trashed. The day after his poisoning, when Sherlock was snooping through his things, a window was broken in, though the offender ran when he (or she) heard movement in the house, and a shout that the police were being called.

Someone wanted to kill a psychiatrist they'd never met. As he'd told John, the answer was quite simple.

So, here he was, dressed in "business casual" and looking far more compassionate than he normally did, seated behind Dr Wallis's desk, ready for his first patient of the day.

Someone wanted whatever files Wallis had removed. Someone, likely, his predecessor had been treating. Of course, he knew how many patients he'd have to sit through for several days to be sure of who it was. Too many people with secrets, and he'd have to sort through them all.]


[Patient:

"At PROMIS, we will never give up on a patient, even if that patient has given up on themselves."

On good days, Sherlock Holmes could admire the workers here. They were as stubborn as he was, and he usually put them through the wringer.

He'd been banned from group therapy after he'd made a habit of self-diagnosing the real problems with the other patients, loudly and publicly. Still, he couldn't manage to get out of individual counselling, and he was stuck here for at least another week before they'd let him sign himself out.

It was obvious to him he was no addict. He used his stimulants to work or to amuse his mind when he had no case. The sedatives helped him sleep when his brain would not turn off.

But he'd gone into an agitated state last time, and Mycroft had (once again) intervened and brought him here.

Sherlock looks quite calm, sitting up but leaned back against the back of the couch. Calm... but quietly (for now) defiant.]

therapist

[vetrarosa]

[ Aerith has heard of him - Sherlock Holmes, the man with an incredible method of deducing people and solving crimes, the man who has a taste and an addiction to puzzles, the man who is infamous amongst her peers, notorious for being far too difficult to handle.

And possibly one of the very, very few went through therapists like a four year old unleashed in a candy shop.

She hasn't seen his file -- at this time she's sure it's probably at least three hundred pages long, and frankly, it would just be very annoying to read through all of them. Besides, she's always liked to get to know her clients on her own terms, without the unnecessary baggage of labels and definitions already set out.

Clinically depressed. Addict. Suspected sociopath. All those annoying words.

She makes hot, steaming peppermint tea for the both of them, neatly completed crossword puzzle of the morning's paper laid open on the table. ]

So, let's get it out of the way, shall we? You don't want to be here, and you don't intend to do anything I could possibly ask of you.

Hershel Layton // Professor Layton // Either therapist or client

[puzzlemethis]

RED Soldier | Team Fortress 2

[hates_hippies]

[Therapist...god help you.]

Client. I couldn't resist

[puzzlemethis]

[When he decided that it might do him some good to talk to someone about some recent events in his life, he... wasn't expecting this.]

[He sat up on the couch, looking at Soldier curiously.] Forgive me for asking, but are you a certified therapist?

America || Hetalia

[heroiccia]

[Congrats, you either have him as your therapist or client.]

Client (lord help us all)

[warbonds]

Steve doesn't think of himself as needing therapy. That would be overstating the case. What Steve needs is time. About 67 years worth of time. All the time he slept through.

Unfortunately, time is just what he's not able--and never will be able--to replace. So mostly what Steve needs help with is simply finding his place in the 21st century, because even with being part of the Avengers, he still sometimes finds himself doubting where Captain America fits in this convoluted new world.

He takes himself out to a lot of places--shopping malls, museums, galleries, libraries--trying to come to terms with what the world has become. A library is just where he's come today, but somehow he's ended up in this office rather than in the reading room he meant to go into, and there's this blond-haired man with glasses there.

"Sorry, I think I must've taken a wrong turn." He turns to go, but unfortunately.... "I think your door is stuck."

Rose Lalonde | Homestuck

[thorny]

[therapist. she's probably going to make you cry at least once during the appointment.]

Trevor Goodchild | Aeon Flux | Therapist

[feathertyrant]

sorry this is oldish, I just found this meme :u

[gramarye]

[ he keeps hovering by the door.

sometimes he puts his hand on the knob without turning it like he expects something to happen. whatever it is keeps not happening, and he pulls his hand away and looks puzzled. he touches the door, runs his hand over to the wall, and presses on it, again like he expects something to happen. he's also not making any eye contact and he won't sit down, but neither is he pacing or fidgeting or anything else that would obviously indicate agitation.

he does keep opening his mouth like he's about to say something, then closing it. that probably gets aggravating after the first dozen times. ]

Cassandra Anderson | DREDD | Therapist

[superiorsacrifice]

[Who wants a psychic to tell them exactly what's wrong? Or failing that to have a psychic who is far too in-tune with herself?

Basically you put in italics what she mind-reads?]

Hope this is okay. 5 with a little bit of 7?

[apositive]

[Movies and talks with his unit comrades always had Piers thinking of what a therapist's office should look like: clean with neutral colors, a potted plant here and there, and one of those long, comfy chairs -- the kind that beg for you to lay in them and tell the shrink about your childhood and how does it all make you feel.

When it came down to his actually visiting one, his expectations...well, they weren't unmet so much as they were taken to a range, given a blindfold and cigarette, and shot down.

Piers shifted in the uncomfortable plastic chair for what felt like the fiftieth time since he came into Anderson's "office." It smelled rusty in there. The light flickered.

This is a bad idea. I should make some shit up and just go...]

Kain Highwind | Final Fantasy IV/Dissidia 012

[dragoon_pride]

[He works best as a patient and has plenty of canon issues to pick from.]

Dmitri Yuriev | Xenosaga | OTA

[lazarus_parasite]

[[ooc: information on the character is in the profile]]

[Therapist]
[Because of his longstanding habits of manipulating everyone and everything he's ever met, Dmitri is very good at faking empathy and is a surprisingly good listener.

Tell him all your problems...let this 'benevolent' scientist take them all away...]

[Client]
[Oh he's not crazy, and he really doesn't have any problems with mentioning. All he wants to do is destroy U-DO, a being that's dangerous to the entire universe.

That's a good thing, right? No matter what his ungrateful sons say about him.

Prepared to be manipulated and lied to so that he can get what he wants.]

Therapist

[spiderbot]

There was a sentient autonomous tank in the room, about the size of a car and modeled after a jumping spider. It poked at the upholstery of the nearby sofa, which would obviously not support its weight if it tried to sit down.

"That Togusa is such a jerk!" it said, flailing its front arms about in simulated exasperation. Its voice was high-pitched, like that of a young child. "You'd think someone who babies a revolver like that would appreciate machines more."

aerith gainsborough | ffvii

[vetrarosa]

[ Problems? What problems? She's good as a therapist c: ]

3+4+7 if ok (live-changing/world danger/trauma)

[waterfell]

[The next client is a young Asian woman, perhaps twenty or thereabouts, dressed professionally. Her paperwork lists her as Ami Mizuno, a doctor.

She definitely doesn't look comfortable being there. Her posture is guarded and wary. Instead of sitting down right away, she stands just behind the chairs meant for the client, arms folded across her chest.]

So I should just talk to you?

[Perhaps it's not too surprising that she's come to this: paying someone to hear her out, to listen to her.]

Tenten | Naruto | OTA

[bunsofsteel]

[Please roll/decide the scenario; I'm open to any of them~]

[01. Therapist]

Really, if she had to hear this next guy whine, she was going to throw her clipboard down and storm out the door. The weapons kunoichi had never been renowned for her patience, but then, that was half the lesson in this particular mission. Learn how to lend a sympathetic ear, and all that nonsense.

But she was trying, and that's what was important. Adjusting her cap between the twin buns of her normal hairstyle, she tried for a smile for her client. "Now, would you please state your name?"

[02. Client]
Going to a therapist was... well, suffice to say it was a new experience for the fiercely independent kunoichi. But it had started to affect her performance on missions, and Gai-sensei had less politely encouraged and rather literally picked her up and carried her to this therapist. As such, she'd sit through the session, say whatever she had to, then get the hell out of here.

3/5/7? IDEK, I'm sorry in advance /)_(\

[seeingeyeshark]

It was a small miracle that they had captured him alive, Ibiki had declared--they had managed to keep him from completing his suicide on the battlefield by the skin of their teeth. They had very narrowly prevented about four other attempts as well, while they had him in custody. They weren't sending him to therapy because of those efforts, of course not--any sane shinobi would do the same, when captured by the enemy and almost certain to be tortured for information before being sentenced to death.

No, the point of doing this was to establish some sort of sympathetic contact, and either confuse him or earn his cooperation to the point where they could wring accurate intelligence out of him. Izumo opened the door, Kotetsu pushed Tenten's new client--chakra-sealed, and with his hands cuffed behind his back, to remain so until and unless Tenten decided otherwise--into the room, and the pair quickly retreated. In spite of his obvious displeasure, Kisame managed a smirk as he recognized the 'doctor' he was confronted with. "Hoshigaki Kisame. You'd be Tenten, wouldn't you?"