If it be your will, if there is a choice

[forwhomtheytoll]

If it be your will that I speak no more...

A Leonard Cohen inspired prompt meme.

Post with your character, others reply: please pick a song, or use the RNG to start a response.

For those interested, click the music note to listen.

1. Dance Me to the End of Love ♪
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love

2. Bird on a Wire ♪
Like a bird on the wire,
like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free.
Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee.

3. The Darkness ♪
I caught the darkness,
It was drinking from your cup.
I caught the darkness,
Drinking from your cup.
I said is this contagious?
You said just drink it up.

4. Hallelujah ♪
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

5. Everybody Knows ♪
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

6. Anthem ♪
We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government --
signs for all to see.
I can't run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.

7. First We Take Manhattan ♪
Ah you loved me as a loser, but now you're worried that I just might win
You know the way to stop me, but you don't have the discipline
How many nights I prayed for this, to let my work begin
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

8. The Letters ♪
But now you've got the gist
Of what my letters meant.
You're reading them again,
The ones you didn't burn.
You press them to your lips,
My pages of concern.
I said there'd been a flood.
I said there's nothing left.
I hoped that you would come.
I gave you my address.

9. The Guests ♪
And here they take their sweet repast
While house and grounds dissolve
And one by one the guests are cast
Beyond the garden wall

10. Boogie Street ♪
So come, my friends, be not afraid.
We are so lightly here.
It is in love that we are made;
In love we disappear.
Tho’ all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There’s no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for.

There are plenty more to choose from HERE

Comments

[loveblinded]

[Jason was indeed quite selfish. He wanted people around to coddle and comfort him and then leave him alone when he didn't want them there anymore or when they were having problems of their own. He was capable of empathy, hell he was an empath, he was actually pretty good at it when he could get himself to do anything about it, but it was so much easier just to try and get them to go away. People were too complicated for him to try and fix anyway, so what was the point?]

Please stop...

[Andrew might be too angry to notice, but the angrier he got the more Jason tried to curl in on himself, shielding himself from that white hot rage that shimmered off Andrew. God, why had he told him? He should have lied, should have come up with something else to say. He knew that Andrew hated Fontaine. What, was he trying to get himself killed? His legs were tucked up against his chest, his face buried down between them as he resisted the urge to cover his head, like a person trying to protect themselves from an explosion]

Y-yes. That Fontaine. [He looked up at him, wary of that anger turning on him] I... I asked a friend of mine if he knew someone that could hook me up. He took me to see Fontaine. I didn't know who he was at the time, I just thought he was some dealer. [He shook his head, curling back in on himself] By the time I figured out who "Frankie" was it was too late...

[Fontaine knew every dealer in Rapture, in most cases he supplied them. He had figured out who Jason was before Jason had caught on to him. Hell, for all Jason knew his friend might have been told to bring him to Fontaine. Regardless, once he had Jason's business, every single other avenue of getting his high was closed to the blonde. No one else would have sold him so much as a single bud. If he wanted his high, he had to go through Fontaine.]

[rianofski]

[Andrew supposed Jason's ignorance could be excused, at least somewhat. If he really hadn't known he was going to see Fontaine before he ended up there, then perhaps the anger towards Jason could cease a little. The anger towards Fontaine, however, certainly couldn't. He knew Fontaine's game, knew that he would have made it damn near impossible for Jason to get ahold of any drugs from anyone else once Fontaine had him in his sights.]

Have you met him? Face to face?

[The few times he'd personally met Fontaine, he'd had to restrain himself from shooting him, punching him, or just throwing him in prison on made up charges. Of course, smuggling was one of the few illegal things, but it wasn't as though there was concrete proof that that was what Fontaine was doing. No, he was too good for that, and it irritated Andrew to know that someone could do that right under his nose and face no consequences.]

What drugs did he give you?

[This was partially a means to find out what Jason was doing, but also a means to find out just what Fontaine was dealing. That bastard wouldn't have stopped at relatively minor drugs -- Andrew was sure that some of what he was handing out was dangerous, the kind of stuff that got people addicted, fast. Of course it was. He needed to make a profit, didn't he? If Andrew had been a dealer, he would have done the exact same thing.]

[loveblinded]

[Jason had known about Fontaine before he had actually met him, but he hadn't really thought he was going to see the man himself. He had known that his source wasn't legal of course, but that had come with the territory. He was at least glad that the storm of anger wasn't aimed at him so much, though it was still uncomfortable for him to be in the same room with Andrew when he was that angry. But at least he didn't feel the need to cower and cover his head.]

Once or twice. Not anymore, he always sends one of his lackeys around when I need them. [It suddenly occurs to him that Fontaine probably knows that he's talking to Andrew, and that worries him. Andrew might blame Fontaine, but Fontaine would definitely blame Jason if Andrew used Jason's information to crack down on Fontaine's operations. Fear spiked in his chest and he glanced toward a window that looked out onto the street below. God he was getting paranoid.]

What?

[The question brought him back and he thought about it for a moment before he replied]

Morphine, opium, some LSD, phenobarbital... I don't take uppers, but he offered them.

[Jason didn't know everything he sold, but he knew he had a good sized pharmacy in his stash.]

God, someone in this fishbowl needs to make Ecstasy already... [He muttered it to himself under his breath, not really wanting Andrew to hear]

[rianofski]

[He nodded, looking at the papers on Jason's desk again. He could guess what they were, could guess that Jason was thinking about getting the hell out of Rapture. Hell, who wouldn't want to, when things were starting to get bad?]

You want to leave, don't you?

[His tone of voice was hard to read. It was somewhere between nonchalant and irritated, but what he was feeling underneath all of that was anyone's guess. There was a sense of betrayal, the terrible feeling that Jason had gone to his enemy to get the drugs he wanted, and that now he wanted to leave. The information he'd had from Jason about Fontaine was useful, but he couldn't stand the idea of being abandoned -- besides, nobody could leave Rapture once they arrived, at least, not without a lot of help. That made him think Fontaine was behind more of this than Jason was letting on.

He clenched one of his fists at his side and crumpled one of the errant papers from Jason's desk. Reading them fully wasn't worth it. Jason probably didn't want him to anyway. He could guess what they said easily enough.]

[loveblinded]

[Normally Jason would have tried to censor himself, to only say things that Andrew wanted to hear or at least avoid things he didn't want to hear. Right now, right now he didn't care enough to do anything other than tell the truth. If Andrew didn't kill him out of rage then Fontaine was just as likely to kill him for talking to Andrew]

Yes... No... I don't know anymore. [He shook his head, turning to look at Andrew with his head still lying on the desk]

You don't want me to leave but... I don't have anything here but you. You've got an entire fuckin' city down here. [Shakes his head, trying to stand up but finding that he can barely even stand at the moment]

I don't belong here, Andrew. I never did. No one here let's me forget that the one reason I got to come down here is because I'm a good lay.

[He sighs, feeling everything just kind of flow out of him. He feels empty. Empty and tired and drained. He just wants to curl up under the blankets and let the entire world wash away.]

[rianofski]

You can't leave.

[His voice is calm, no hint of anger to it, but it's firm. There will be no questioning this, no talking him into it. He won't let Jason leave. He can't let that happen. The only indication that his temper is rising is the fact that he grips the desk for a moment, his knuckles going white.]

Do you think that I don't know that everything's going to shit down here? I may have an entire city, but that entire city is falling apart around me. And now you're associating with one of my worst enemies, and want to run back to the surface.

[He narrowed his eyes.]

Do you really think it will be any better there? Look at everything I've given you.

[He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He wanted to hurt Jason, the way Jason was hurting his pride. But now was not the time to try to take revenge, though he was practically itching to.]

[loveblinded]

[Ryan's voice and his demeanor might be calm, but Jason can feel the anger coming back, anger that was now aimed squarely at him. He knows he can't leave, that he's trapped here with the rest of the city. That even if he had been determined to leave Andrew would be just as determined to keep him here.]

[He's drained and tired and he curls back up under the heat of Andrew's anger, that desire to hurt him that he can feel building, that he's afraid is going to break over him and leave him bruised.]

I just... don't know what to do anymore. [Even if Andrew had wanted to help him he was too busy, trying desperately to keep everything under control, to keep his grip on a city that was finding out they had left the Governments and Gods of the surface for a King under the sea that was growing more and more unstable.]

I'm grateful for it, I really am but... [he trailed off, glancing out his window to a view of the city below and a whale swimming by in the depths of the ocean. It's a long moment before he speaks again]

I'm trapped. I feel trapped. Rapture is beautiful but... it just feels like a gorgeous cage. [At least on the surface if he wanted to leave a city he could. There wasn't anything stopping him. He could go anywhere he wanted, and he knew how to survive, even moreso now that he had his eyes back. He could have a new start, and maybe he'd have to stay in the closet, but... he really wasn't sure anymore.]

[He stood up just enough to take back the bottle that Andrew had taken from him, and instead of sipping he took a long pull, feeling the liquor burn down his throat.]

[rianofski]

You think it feels like a cage to you?

[He's trying hard not to dump out all of his feelings -- because, yes, he has feelings, though he doesn't express them often enough to make anyone believe it -- about Rapture being a cage. If anyone feels caged, he thinks, it should be him. He's the one with the responsibilities, the one who has to juggle a million things, to stay alive, to keep others alive... and to deal with those who oppose him.]

I don't want you to be my enemy.

[He wanted to snatch the bottle of liquor away from Jason, to throw it on the floor, but that would be childish, and while he may be many things, childish is not one of them, though quick-tempered is. It isn't as though he doesn't want Jason to be his enemy for altruistic reasons. No, he just doesn't want to have to deal with another person who thought they could stand up to him.]

[loveblinded]

[But you could leave if you wanted to. Jason almost says it, but he knows that it's not true. Andrew, in theory, could leave Rapture, take his bathyshpere and go to the surface and leave the place to dissolve in fire and anarchy and ADAM. But he wouldn't. Jason would even go so far as to say that he literally can't leave. He's too stubborn, too prideful to ever admit that he was unable to fix the situation, no matter how dire. His ego wouldn't let him.]

[His head snaps up at his next words though, eyes wide as he shook his head vigorously.]

No, no I'm not your enemy Andrew. I would never be your enemy.

[He knew what happened to the enemies of Andrew Ryan. At least, the ones he could get his hands on. Here, he was the law, and he went after those that were his enemies with a swift brutality that scared Jason. No, he didn't want to be Andrew Ryan's enemy.]

[rianofski]

[Leaving was a concept that was foreign to Andrew. Even if he could leave, and yes, of anybody, he was the one for whom it would be easiest, he never would begin to consider it a possibility. At Jason's words, he shook his head slowly.]

I didn't think you would, either, but people can surprise you.

[Truthfully, he didn't think that Jason wanted to leave because of him. No, his ego wouldn't allow him to consider that a possibility. It must be the fact that Rapture was going to hell, that things were getting more dangerous by the day, that people were dying. It couldn't be him. It couldn't be, because he'd given everyone so much, and look at how they'd repaid him. Not that he could really expect any different -- human nature was selfish and cruel, after all.]