bakerstreet | cuddle meme .

He opens to it immediately now that he recognizes it for what it is, and he can't help but relax a little in spite of himself. This is the first time in so, so long that he hasn't... hurt. At all. There's not a single place that crackles with damaged nerves, or aches from overuse. No strain. Not even a phantom pain. He can breathe - a full, deep breath - without pain or stress on his lungs. Even his scars seem to have more flexibility.

Shiro looks down at his body, at hers, watching with wonder through the glow across his nose and cheeks. "Pinya... Look at this," he says softly. "Look at what you are doing. What you are choosing to do. You don't have to. There's always... You don't have to keep it all at bay for me. I'm used to it. It's just what my body is anymore. It won't heal further. So this? This is extra. This is just because you want, out of the goodness of your heart, you want me to feel better. You can't ever believe all that your enemies say. They specifically want to instill doubt in you and make you crumble. They know that they can use that to their own advantage. You've grown. You've tried to move away from that. You're actively making changes in your life. That's not an easy thing to do."

She smiles as she watches her magic cross Shiro's nose scar, it's far more adorable than it has any right to be, considering it's a scar. Her own litter her body; a star in her right shoulder, a cut that pierces through her sternum, fine, precise cuts that litter her thighs.

She's almost taken aback when Shiro speaks; Healing for her has always been a necessity, a job passed down from her brother, but he speaks like she's performing a miracle.

It's been a painfully long time since her Echo has rung so sweetly with the truth. Not the almost-song of someone believing they are speaking the truth, but the beautiful clarity of the Truth of Things. She hasn't felt it since Connor died.

She feels it now.

She can't help it. She starts to sob.

The bow of her shoulders, the involuntary crumple of her face and sagging of her frame... it's all so very familiar to him. He's watched it in the mirror too many times to count.

He helps her shift to a more comfortable position and holds her close against his chest, shirt laced and pocked with glow from beneath. He doesn't have words for her now. She's needed this for such a long time. She just needs to get it all out. So he holds her. Very gently strokes her hair. Provides a solid foundation for her to lean into and soak with her tears. He's here, and he's not leaving, and he understands. Maybe that will be enough for now.

Gods... This man. She could easily fall in love with him. She thinks she might already be a little bit there.

The sobs take a little while to calm down into slow, steady breathing. She's pressed her forehead into his neck and taken to running the tips of her fingers along the short hairs at the nape of his neck to ground herself.

She remembers that she used to tease her younger sister Cocola for being such a crybaby when she was younger. If only she could see her older sister now. The whole family would be egging her at this point, she thinks.

She can't help but huff out a small laugh, THE Pinara Conada, the most infamous member of the Conada Syndicate, crying! Over a man! technically not over, but definitely on and -

She's started shaking slightly, and at first it could be mistaken for another round of crying... that is until she starts to laugh out loud, her head moving backwards so that Shiro can see her face, tears in the corners of her eyes as she smiles.

"Look at me, being this down over my over petty woes. I'm the heir to a reformed crime syndicate, for Halone's sake!"

This is not actually a helpful turn of events for Shiro. He's getting more and more concerned. But he smiles a little, crookedly, raising his eyebrows. "They're not that petty. If it matters to you, it means something. And things build up till even the smallest thing can crush you flat. It's okay to be upset."

"No! No I know but I've felled Gods, crippled an Empire, freed countries, and this is what I decide to have a breakdown over." She grins. It's a little bit manic still, but it seems that break might've been all she needed to really step back and look at herself again.

The Asylum's light actually grows warmer as the white magic is once again resonating with it's caster without the curdling of doubt that had been building up in her mind for so long now.

Eventually, she's looking Shiro in the eyes again, smiling softly.

"Gods, but you are a beautiful man." She sighs. It's not meant flirtatiously, just a truth for him to have.

Whatever he was going to say, that statement erases it entirely. Shiro startles, a fully-body motion, and a blush rushes up the back of his neck and over his ears to paint his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose bright pink. "I what now?"

"Hmmmnn, Beautiful, Handsome, Charming man." She doesn't startle when he does, only laughing a little at the reaction.

"Come now, you can't have been blind to the fact?" She taps his nose as she watches the tops of his cheeks stain red.

He sputters slightly. "I'm not-- I wasn't-- " Why do people keep saying he's attractive?! "You have noticed I'm kind of a mess, right?" he asks incredulously, gesturing vaguely to his body.

All she does is cock an eyebrow.

"Hydaelyn rarely leaves a babe unmarred, Shiro. We have long learnt to look past the physical marks on a body." She leans back slightly, enough so that she can hike up her skirts all the way up to her thigh.

Her legs are pocked with so many cuts from injuries she's taken from various environmental hazards, as well as deliberate cuts to her ankles and hamstrings that Blades have left to try and leave her indisposed. From a scarred mark that pierced just under her rib cage down to her mid-thigh, there's a grotesque, twisted expanse of skin that Magic was never able to get rid of completely.

"An interesting thing I learnt from changing forms is that most of it stays the same, even the scars. I've got used to them now, I'm not sure what I'd do if I didn't have them." She smiles, looking up at him from under her lashes.

She moves slowly that he can stop her at anytime if she wishes, threads her fingers through his on both hands and places a small, sweet kiss on the corner of Shiro's lips.

"You must know that it's not just the outside I'm talking about; though that certainly helps." There's no coyness, or outright flirtation, just the need to physical comfort and closeness, the desire to communicate the best way she knows how.

He's not sure what's happening anymore, but watching her unveil the scars that gleam in the healing light of her magic twists in his chest. She shouldn't have to deal with that. She shouldn't have to ache when the weather changes, or be restricted in her movements, or worry about potential lovers seeing these... He brushes light - so very light - fingertips over the raised, twisted scar tissue that stretches up out of sight under her skirts. Something detached in the back of his mind starts listing options of what might have caused such a thing.

He ignores it, letting her take his hands, letting her kiss the corner of his mouth. "I don't think I'm as special as you think," he says softly, "but given how much you don't see about yourself, maybe we're even there." There's something here, balancing delicately, and he's not sure what it is or how to preserve it. He hesitates a fraction of a second before returning the gesture and kissing the opposite corner of her mouth as well.

"It's nothing about being 'Special'," she muses, grinning as she pulls back, "It's everything to do with you simply being yourself."

"We're similar, you and I. Thrust into war, ended up commanding teams, occasionally being the only ones standing betwixt the world as we know it and it's collapse; though we know we were never really the only ones to do it." She's started to use 'We', instead of 'You', and perhaps, perhaps it feels like she's helping herself, too.

When Shiro returns her kiss, something light bubbles up, a giggle escaping from her lips before she can catch it. She slings her arms around his neck, bunting their foreheads together, her nose brushing with his, simply content to rest against him and hold him close.

The storm outside the cavern yet rages on, she can hear the howling of the winds though they do not touch the pair inside. She sits for a while, and then remembers that she's actually a lot bigger than usual and that she'd just been sitting on this man's thighs for a while now.

"Not to be to forward, but would it be better for us to lay down? I think I can manage to make a blanket or two for us. I don't want to make you too uncomfortable by sitting on you."

It's probably a good thing he's used to getting bunted by Felih. Shiro smiles softly and lets his arms slip about her waist to support her, closing his eyes as they relax a little. At least she's not beating up on herself so much anymore.

"Mm? Oh. Sure, that's probably not a bad idea. Your spell... Is it draining? We can find some way to set up a shelter. You don't have to keep this up all the time," he says quietly.

It's so comportable like this, but she'd feel better perhaps if they were lying down. Just, let the floor do all the holding, you know?

"Mhn. No, this isn't really that bad." It's not a lie, per se. She's used to running battles for far longer than this with much more mana expenditure, it's just that she's putting far more energy into keeping Shiro Comfortable than herself. It's like a constant stream of Regen, small, but significant over a time. It will be fine, until the storm passes. "I can keep it up. Just... here," She rolls off him, pulling one of her quits and a cushion from her hammerspace. It takes a second for her to lay it on the ground before she shuffles onto it, finding a natural dip in the cave floor to lie in.

She throws the cushions down, snuggling up into them as best she can, and then tugs Shiro down by the crook of his arm. It is a very buff arm. Buff arms really get Pinya going.

"Are you sure you have to be so faithful to your fiance?" She teases as she gets him to lie down, "Quite frankly you are ticking aaaaall of my boxes." She sniggers.

He settles in next to her and pulls out a fluffy, soft, star-spangled blanket from his own hammerspace, shaking it out over them both. He is already in the process of reaching for her to cuddle her up to his chest again - he knows he's a space heater all on his own - when she catches him by surprise. Again.

He blushes, ducking his head. "I uh. I-I mean, he's been encouraging me to see other people casually if I want...?" His voice says that he isn't quite sure what to make of that.

She's familliar with the blanket, at least, and she doesn't hesitate to pull herself in when Shiro starts to reach for her. Twelve above his body is warm and solid against her curvier, softer one, and it feels divine to cuddle.

When he speaks though, it's one of confusion more than anything, and she does her best to smile reassuringly.

"Are you hesitating because you're not sure you want to stray, or because you don't know what to make of him allowing it?" Her question is calm, soft. Polyamory isn't rare in Eorzea, especially among the feline Miqo'te. It's a situation that's she's had to deal with a lot, in her employees and in her own family.

She reaches for his hand, holding it, rubbing her thumb gently across his knuckles.

"A little of both, really," he admits. "I trust him more than anybody else. I'm not afraid of him manipulating me or anything like that, but I don't see other people that way, and I don't know what prompted him to think that it was what I wanted. I can find people attractive without wanting to sleep with them... Or I can exercise some self-restraint. It feels a bit like cheating, and I really don't want to give him any more reason to believe he's not good enough for me. I love him."

Pinya starts to giggle, before it turns into a snigger, then a laugh.

He really can't see it!

"Shiro! It's because half of the people around you are constantly undressing you in their mind's eye! If I had a fianceé was as attractive as you then I think I'd probably want them to be getting it as much as possible, too." She's takes a few minutes to catch her breath, settling her warm hand over Shiro's waist and squeezing gently.

"He probably thinks that you've noticed, but gods forbid that you start to look at yourself as positively as that," she rolls her eyes at him, not unkindly.

"I don't think he's giving you blanket permission or trying to palm you off onto someone else. I think more than anything, he's opening up that conversation for you." Pinya hums.
"As long as you let him know that he's the one for you, the one you want for the rest of your life, you shan't have a problem. Even if you start falling in love with other people, it doesn't diminish his place in your heart." There's a little sad look on her face when she says this, and there's evidently a story there. She's never been fought over or really doted upon. It's always been her job to do so. She remembers Ka'hali and how not even her betrothed wanted her, but tries to gently push it out of her mind.

He blinks at her, nonplussed, as she laughs, not sure quite how to feel about that reaction, but then she explains and he colors. "I don't even know how to have that conversation," he protests half under his breath.

Ho. Wait, hang on, he saw that look. "...Pinya? Are you all right? Something changed there."

"I'm sure you'll be able to brave it, eventually," She laughs. He really was adorable.

Ah- She should've known to keep a tighter lid on her expressions, but she's tired and he's warm, and she trusts him, regardless.

"Hmmn. I was to be married when I turned of age, back in Eorzea. A veritable, single merchant princess of the Colada Syndicate. Lesser families were fighting to have their child be my spouse so that they would get a step up in the world," she sighs.

"Ka'hali's parents won that bid, simply because they seemed the most decent and the most competent business owners. Plus, if I was set to be married, then perhaps I would stop getting the incessant offers from people harassing me in the streets. But though we got along, and I grew to hold him dear, he had no interest in me whatsoever. Ka'hali already had a woman, a strikingly beautiful one at that too, I was never a match for her, as small and as rotund as I am." Pinya smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. It's a simple and wry twist of the lips and nothing more. She'd never been able to compare, and how could you when you were a Lalafell going up against a lithe, well endowed, beautiful Miqo'te?

"I wouldn't keep him from his love, but we couldn't simply break off the betrothal either. So we simply never got married, kept making up excuses when we were asked. That's the story, nothing major!" She brushes it away. There are far more pressing things than her lack of a love life.

Shiro's heart twists in his chest and he hugs Pinya closer. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, sorrow heavy in his voice. "That's not right. You shouldn't be bid on, like some piece of furniture. You should have been allowed to meet people, talk to them privately, date who you wanted to. Find someone who loves you like you love them. To be forced to be engaged when you don't love each other... that hurts both of you. That wouldn't have been a happy marriage, and your family should have known that. So should his! If he already had a girlfriend, then what are they doing trying to marry him to someone else? That's cruel all around."

There's a distant look in her eyes, remembering the arguments upon arguments she'd had with her family over this topic.

"Unfortunately, as a Lala, you get little choice than to be bid on. It's getting better, but there are still a large amount of the realm that will not mate with us because of our child-like visages. The only way to ensure that the Colada bloodline stays alive is to have us pawned off.

"My parents were lucky that they found love between them. My siblings too, those of that have found their love of crafting have found like minded people to be with but... I had always been the 'perfect heir'. The fact was that if I could have this secure marriage with the Liz'eh Clan, then the Syndicate could be held by myself alone and my siblings would be free to do whatever they wanted. I took that upon myself. I want their happiness more than my own." It made sense to her. She was merely one child of eight. She could happily sacrifice the slim chance she had at any real romance for them.

"That was actually my decision, to allow him to do that. I didn't want him to be stuck in a situation that he was forced into either. This was a deal between out parents, and Kaha'li was so smitten with her. She was from the lower caste, and so should he announced his intentions towards her to his family, they would have done their best to chase her away." She shrugs it off. It had hurt a lot at the time, and she knows that she had essentially martyred herself for her sisters and brothers who had dated other people before. No one had ever shown any interest in her before.

"At least that way, I wouldn't end up an unmarried woman for the rest of my life," She smirks, but there's pain behind her eyes.

"You have Matt, and I'm very glad you don't have to experience the pain of not being wanted." She tucks herself further into Shiro's chest so he doesn't have to see her expression.

Edited (I'm.... A big dumb sleep deprived idiot. ) 2018-08-31 19:05 (UTC)

cuddle meme .

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poor pinya will she ever stop crying?

He won't hold it against her in the slightest

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