bakerstreet | I let her steal into my melancholy heart

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[meme] shipping

I let her steal into my melancholy heart

Darkness Loves Light

No matter how the darkness looms around you - how much you've become the darkness - there's one bright spot in your life - a person who makes everything worthwhile.

It doesn't really matter how they came to you. What does is that they stay. Whether you admit it or not, you seek comfort from them...and, perhaps, them from you, if you're in the same situation.

So, whether you push them away, treat them right, or go so far as to worship them and put them on a pedestal, you don't want them to go now. You crave being with them, or at least being in their presence. Don't ruin this for yourself. After all, what would you do without your little ray of light? You'll do anything to keep them happy and loved. Anything.

Respond to the meme with your character, canon, preferences, and, if you'd like, what position you're character will be in.
Respond to others.

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[ ota ; light unless you want some kind of winter soldier type au which is 👌]

[ a winter soldier type au sounds amazing but I don't think I have anyone right now who would work for that. ;_;

so. how bout a witchy witch hunter? I can au her into the verse to make it easier - perhaps a force-sensitive who fell into working as a mercenary for the First Order or its allies, she got sent after Poe and had a change of heart, and though she's with the Rebellion now there's some abrasiveness because of her past as well as her private battle between light and dark? ]

[ no worries! and sure! sounds good. c: did you want to start? ]

[ kinda winging it, let me know if you want me to change anything! ]

This was not the life Jasmine ever pictured herself having. Did anyone? Surely not even the greatest masochist would want to feel surrounded by possible enemies everywhere they turned no matter what they did. It was her own fault -- You were a child. There were no other options. Stop blaming yourself for choosing life over death. -- which of course made it worse. The sideways glances when people thought she wasn't looking, the low whispers that managed to find their way to her ears. Would they find it amusing to know the other side had treated her the same? Or would that only be further validation in their minds?

Frequently she had the urge to bolt, steal a ship and get as far away from both the First Order and the Rebellion as she could. The universe was a big place, she could regain anonymity somewhere. Become a shadow and lose herself in that bloody work she was good at even if it meant losing a piece of herself.

But the irony was they were everywhere. The Rebellion might be harder to see by necessity but its spirit existed in some degree everywhere the First Order did. She knew because she had silenced more than her share of those spirits.

She didn't remember what backwater planet they were on now, it didn't matter, they'd only stopped to refuel and resupply and would be gone in the morning. After all, they couldn't stay ahead of the First Order if they dared to linger anywhere without solid allies. But the town had a bar, and a bar was a wonderful place to try and forget that most of the people around her probably didn't want her there.

At least that was her intent before she picked up on two of their engineers conversing in low tones elsewhere in the bar. Her head canted ever so slightly as she took a drink, listening in, and she really shouldn't have. It was easy to tell they were talking about her and she felt a knot start to form in her gut, not anxiety or stress but something far darker. Her grip on the cup in her hand tightened and she started counting backwards in her mind, trying for calm. She made it to 'three' before the knot turned to heat and it would be so easy to just lift her hand and --

A familiar voice cut through the shadows clouding her mind and Jasmine abruptly let go of the cup, her other hand that had unconsciously been creeping toward the blaster on her hip stopping. She quickly got up from the bar to leave only to nearly run right into Poe and her breath caught sharply. Jasmine didn't want him to see her like this. She never wanted him to see her like this, no matter that it seemed he was the only one with the power to reach her when she started to lose herself.

While it was easier to hide in the small, abandoned Rebel hideouts -- places in the Outer Rim -- there was an undenialable appeal to going to a planet that was actually populated by literally anyone every once in awhile. Besides the obvious (the dire need for supplies), sometimes a little human (or non-human) interaction was good, too. It was easier to escape detection by the First Order once you got out into Wild Space, if you could navigate your way to a planet. And they had. Poe Dameron would say it was because he was the best pilot in the galaxy, but in reality it was probably more of the dumb luck that seems to follow him wherever he goes.

Anyway, this planet. This bar. Poe had come to get a drink. He was just here to have a good time, because who knows when he'd get another chance. He was perceptive enough to see what had happened without actually having been there. Not everyone in the Resistance was as sympathetic as him. Poe was willing to see the goodness in people, no matter how deep of a dig it might be to get there. He'd seen that in Jasmine, and it was something he was willing to fight for.

So much, in fact, that if calming Jasmine were not the most immediate, pressing matter, he was ready to get in a fistfight with those engineers. Because that's just how he is as a person. (Maybe later.) But, for now --

"Hey, hey." His hand comes to rest on her shoulder. A warm, reassuring grip. "Don't let them get to you. Whatever they think ain't worth sithspit." Reassuring actions are fine, but he's not the best with reassuring words. That's not really how he operates. But he speaks with such certainty that there's little room to argue.

His touch grounded her and gave her something to focus on that wasn't tainted by the sweet, seductive darkness. Like you are. She swallowed thickly and tried to ignore the turmoil inside her at the moment because giving into it wasn't an option. Not here, not now. 'Not ever' should have been tacked on to the end of that thought but Jasmine didn't have that much faith in herself and her willpower.

"Easier said than done." she finally managed in a tone that wasn't half as confident as his but she let out a measured breath and met his gaze. In Poe's presence it was easier to breathe, easier to think. He gave her a clarity she hadn't known she was lacking until she found it.

Part of her still wanted to leave but she didn't trust herself not to do something rash and she didn't want to bring trouble down on all of them. "Don't let me spoil your night." She lifted a hand to his arm and gave a gentle squeeze, a silent 'thank you' because there were too many eyes and ears and the fewer who knew there was more to her the better. Maybe it didn't matter on top of everything else but it was a habit born out of survival and difficult to go against.

"No, no. It's okay."

And it was. He couldn't go off and have a fun night drinking now; he'd just worry about Jasmine. He could sense she was trying to get rid of him with her words and the squeeze at his arm, but he just couldn't. If there was a way to help, he wanted to help. To provide mooring.

"Let's sit out here for awhile. Get some fresh air, clear your head. It'll be good. C'mon." He starts pulling her with him, back out into the night. The town — if you could even call it that — that they were in abruptly gave way to black-sanded beaches, dotted with rocks jutting out. Provided that she doesn't try to run away, he'll lead her over to one of those to sit.

"It's not okay." She gave him a look, feeling bad about it already. There was so little downtime and it wasn't right for Jasmine to waste his. Because that was how she always felt about instances like this, that she was wasting Poe's time with her problems when he could be off relaxing or doing something for everyone else like the brilliant hero that he was. She didn't fight him though, letting him draw her outside and away from the temptation of doing the wrong thing.

The night was quiet and as they walked across the sand she tried to soak it in, to let the quiet wrap around her and muffle those destructive thoughts that never seemed to fully disappear. Would they ever? She didn't know if she could fight this internal war for the rest of her life.

"They're not wrong you know," she remarked after they had sat down, eyes drifting over the dark water. "My being here is dangerous for you all. I'm sure the First Order has only increased the bounty on my head." It was inevitable really. They hadn't wasted any time putting one on her after she switched sides and over time more and more of her contacts started ignoring her calls because they didn't want that heat turning to them. She couldn't blame them but it still stung a little. "And eventually if it's not someone coming after me, it'll be someone coming after you." Like she had.

He shakes his head, dismissive. "First Order has a bounty on me, too. It doesn't matter."

Bounties aren't just for turncoats — they're also for pilots who do significant damage to their ships, take down tons of soldiers, and also manage to miraculously escape being held prisoner. The idea of that didn't bother him. The idea of more agents of the First Order coming after him didn't bother him, either. He didn't expect all of them to turn like Jasmine had, but he was sure that he'd be able to manage any trouble that came his way. Things always sort of just worked out for him. It all balanced out. That was a sort of mantra he'd been holding onto for years, and it rarely ever failed him.

"I saved you. I'm not just gonna ... I'm not saving you and then throwing you out on your own like that. That's not gonna happen. You're Resistance now. As long as you want to be here, this is where you belong. And if anyone's got a problem with that, they can go through me. Got it? Don't feel like you have to do anything. Just let me know, and I'll take care of it."

The way Poe viewed things, it really was that simple. He could solve all his problems by ~~blowing them up~~ pulling rank on lower officers and punishing them for talking trash. Maybe he couldn't make everyone instantly change their minds about Jasmine, but he was doing all that he could on his end of things.

Jasmine turned her head to look at him as he spoke, eyes taking in the way the moonlight illuminated his features. She wished she had Poe's confidence when it came to this. In other things she did but in this it was somehow easier to give in to doubt rather than hope. It likely didn't help that for a long while she didn't consider herself someone worth saving.

"I still don't know what I did to deserve that." she said quietly. "You were the first person to look at me like I meant something. Like I was worth something and not just a hired gun." Her hand between them reached for his, wanting the simple physical contact, and she looked back out at the water again. Poe had saved her, pulled her out of the darkness and brought light into her life. Hell, he continued to do so. She owed him her life, whether he knew it or not, and she couldn't say she was bothered by the thought of spending the rest of her days paying him back. Loyalty couldn't be bought after all, not true loyalty, and she could think of no one who deserved it more.

"Do you ever regret it?" Jasmine asked suddenly, looking back at him. There wasn't concern in her tone, just honest curiosity. "I imagine your life would be a little less complicated if I wasn't around."

One of Poe's core beliefs is that everyone is worth something. Worth saving. There has to be some good in everyone, because the galaxy is a good place. Everything balances out. He takes her hand when she reaches for his, gaze also going out to the water.

He wanted to explain that, to say that the fact that she was here, that she was even trying to fight whatever darkness was in her was proof enough that she deserved the faith he'd placed in her, but she's asking that question before he can.

"No." His response comes without hesitance. "I don't. I don't — whatever other people think doesn't bother me. Doing the right thing isn't always the easy thing, but that doesn't mean it's not worth doing."

A small shy smile comes to her lips before she can stop it, comforted by his reply. It touches her in a way she doesn't expect and she ducks her head, feeling self-conscious about the emotion he so easily pulls out of her. There was no room for 'delicate' emotions in her old life, too many people around who would happily exploit any perceived sign of weakness.

Once upon a time she would have said that failing to kill a mark was a sign of weakness too, but. Poe's right. Doing the right thing wasn't always the easy thing.

"You're a good man, Poe. The best I've ever known, I really mean that." She gives his hand a squeeze and makes herself look back up. "I don't think I'd have the strength to fight it without you."

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I let her steal into my melancholy heart

Poe Dameron / Star Wars

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i'm really slow sometimes pls bear with me 💀

no worries! i can be too sometimes, it's all good

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