TiMER (or, soulmates for the instant gratification age)

[booming]

In our busy world, who has the energy to struggle through empty relationships? Wouldn't you rather have the certainty of knowing just who that just right someone is? Here at TiMER, we specialize in saving you the pain and hassle of hopeless relationships. For a nominal monthly fee, our special TiMER device will count down the days, hours and minutes between now and true love!

With a 98% satisfaction rate, we're certain you'll find completion.

TiMERS are implanted on the owners dominant wrist and have three states: offline (your soulmate does not currently have an online TiMER), online and counting down (just a little while longer to wait!), or online and complete (congratulations are in order!). TiMERS that have offline mates initialize when that second TiMER is implanted. TiMERS may not be installed in anyone under the age of 13, and must be installed with a guardians permission for anyone under 18. TiMERS can be removed, but please be aware that they cannot be reimplanted and the process is significantly more painful than implantation was.

1. IMPLANTATION. Congratulations on taking the first step! Installation can sting a little, but your TiMER is nearly indestructible and well worth the three to five days healing time.

2. WAITING GAME. Loneliness can be difficult. It's important to fill the time between now and true love with something. Macrame? Fencing? Relationships that aren't guaranteed to work?

3. THE DAY OF. It's here. Do you have nerves? Perfectly normal. Your TiMER finished it's countdown at 12:01 this morning, and now you just have to go about your day. Oh, the excitement is hard to bear! Keep your ears peeled for the sound of true love - it could happen anywhere in the next 24 hours.

4. BEEP BEEP. You've met them. That ringing in your wrist isn't just any sort of alert. Congratulations! Are they everything you ever dreamed of?

5. FOREVER AFTER. It's been some time since you've met eyes and found everything you could ever need. How was the first date? The wedding? The honeymoon? (We're proud to say that TiMER couples who choose to marry have a .43% divorce rate. How's that science for you?)

or maybe...

6. BLANK SCREEN. Oh! That's a disappointment. But don't worry -- there are over 18,000 TiMER stores in the United States alone. Your other half is certain to get one eventually.

7. NON-BELIEVER. You don't want a TiMER despite the countless happy couples, environmentally friendly company, and very successful advertising campaign. That's fine! There are plenty of people who are looking for an empty something while they whittle down the days to happiness. Probably. You like casual sex, right?

8. MIXED TO MATCH. One of you has a TiMER, the other doesn't. Can you work past that stress? It would take a strong heart to face down a time limit for their love.

9. LOSS. Here at TiMER, we understand just how awful it is to lose a soulmate. We offer complimentary uninstallation for TiMER owners who have lost their mate. That blank screen... it's really just a heavy reminder of your glory days, isn't it? The one might be gone, but it's important to find whatever sort of happiness there may be left.

10. OTHER. These are just some ideas to get you going. TiMER is only the platform from which you build a glorious existence, after all.

Comments

Wakaba Kannuki | Yami no Matsuei | OTA

[sweetshinigami]

Makoto Kino (18, post StarS) | Sailor Moon | Open to All

[denkou]

James Norrington || Pirates of the Caribbean || OTA

[chapter_behind]

10 (combo of 9 and 3)

[cravats]

[After Alessandro had died, Randolph had refused to uninstall his TiMER, as tempting as it had been. He had wanted the reminder of what he'd had, even if it hurt every time he saw his wrist.

Then, impossibly, one day it began to count down again. He hadn't mentioned anything to anyone- surely this was a rare event, he didn't want the publicity. And last night it had finished.

Now he just had to wait. It was hard to go about his daily routine knowing that his timer could beep at every moment... but he was good at disguising his feelings.]

[chapter_behind]

[And James -- well. His timer, of course, had activated from the day he'd gotten it. Randolph had had his installed already, not that he even knew who Randolph was.

And before his timer hit zero, he'd met Jack. Jack didn't have a timer, and his wasn't at zero, and he'd fallen in love with him anyway. After that, it didn't seem to matter that his timer had hit zero.

He was just going to go about his business. Whatever happened today couldn't... wouldn't... change things.]

Elena Gilbert || TVD || ota

[herreflection]

[cravats]

[He'd been walking down the street, thinking about work when the beep sounded. At first he thought it was someone else- then looked around, trying to tell who else had made the noise. It didn't sound quite like anything else in the world.

His eyes fixed on the tall man walking down the sidewalk toward him.]

[chapter_behind]

[James heard the TiMER begin its chime. Damn it -- he couldn't ignore the man. He wanted to. But the other man had undoubtedly heard the chime as well, and he wasn't likely to appreciate James moving away from him.]

Hello.

[cravats]

[With Alessandro the moment had seemed magical. With this man... well. There was something there, but the expression on his face was almost reluctant. Lyall smiled anyway and extended a hand.]

Randolph Lyall.

Botan | Yu Yu Hakusho | Open to All

[ferries]

[chapter_behind]

James Norrington.

[He didn't want to look at the man before him. He didn't know how this worked -- they were soul mates, yes, but did that mean love at first sight? He didn't want to fall in love with anyone else, no matter how perfectly suited they were. He still loved Jack.]

So... bit of death and death action here? Got a 4 here~

[part_time_teacher_of_moe]

[Oh, hello Wakaba. Congrats on meeting your newly long term partner for the rest of your life! A strapping young magician taking a stroll out in the human world! And he has a part time job as a teacher to boot! What a swell pick, right?

Well... he's currently going through his otaku mode by taking pictures of everything moe related. Cosplayers? Yep. Figurines? You betcha. Another version of death? Sure is-- wait what? Oh, so thats what that beeping is all about. Going to rise up from his dynamic camera angles to get a good look who else is beeping.]

Hoo~? So that's what the noise was all about. And here I had forgotten all about it until now.

[cravats]

Can I- would you- would you like to get some tea, or something?

[He knows he sounds hopeful, but does he sound too hopeful? Is this pathetic? He doesn't want to be alone anymore.]

[chapter_behind]

[James stops himself before he says something unkind. It isn't Randolph's fault that Jack didn't love him, or that he isn't Jack. There's no call to be rude to someone he's only just met. After all, what does this worthless technology know about compatibility? Maybe it's all a hoax.]

[cravats]

[If Lyall were a less-controlled man, James's lack of response would have him wilting. Instead he just smiles. Two perfect matches in one life- it was too much to hope for, wasn't it?]

Castiel | Supernatural | ota

[wholeheartedseraph]

Athrun Zala | Gundam SEED Destiny | m/f

[infinitejustice]

Asem Asuno | Gundam AGE | m/f

[second_destiny]

Shirou Emiya | Fate/stay night | m/f

[wontdieifkilled]

Jack Bauer | 24

[ctu]

(Het only please.)

Rose Tyler | Doctor Who | F/M

[shopgirl]

Aww, such a cute dead couple.

[sweetshinigami]

[And here Wakaba is, just out on another assignment. Heck, Terazuma is likely somewhere right now complaining about something while he's trying to fulfill his half of their duties for the day.

She stands there, blinking a bit as she rolls up the right sleeve of her seifuku and... oh!]

Ah, actually... I had too.

[She laughs a bit in embarrassment.]

I was busy.

[Actually she'd ended up with one of these things because the girls in the department thought it was an adorable idea. After that and Terazuma's complaining about it, she hadn't given it anymore attention.]

Norman Jayden ☁ Heavy Rain ☁ OTA

[sunglasses_at_night]

[chapter_behind]

[Still -- James knows he's being a bit of a prig. He does his best to look Randolph in the eye and muster a smile.]

I think it would be best if we did, yes. We should get to know each other.

[part_time_teacher_of_moe]

[Eitarou, on the other hand, got it because it was a thing to show his little protege on how to solve his little harem problems. He wasn't expecting it to end up with him actually finding someone in the end, but hey! He isn't complaining at all. Pulling down a sleeve down to check his own as if to confirm it for sure, he gives a light chuckle as he turns to inspect her for a bit.]

Well, at least I was destined to be with a lovely young lady. Perhaps today is the day I finally reach my own 'Good End' after all? Ah, perhaps I should introduce myself-- if you're still not busy that is~?