THEY WON'T TAKE US ALIVE

[dousing]

PARTNERS IN CRIME MEME You're madly, hopelessly in love. Or maybe you're just best friends. You just also happen to be a crime duo. Whether you're bank robbers, pulling off jewelry heists, going on spree murders, committing arson, stealing candy from babies, or whatever else, you do it together. The Bonnie to your Clyde, the Thelma to your Louise, the whatever criminal name to the other criminal name. If you go down, you're going down in a blaze of glory that will always be remembered. Maybe you're on the run. Maybe you're the authorities chasing after the pair of criminals. Can you catch them? Bring them in peacefully? You have to try no matter what. • Top level your character. Include any details you might think are relevant. Or don't. As always, we're not the cops. • Reply to other people's top levels! • Have fun!

Comments

Karen Page | MCU

[howbraveyouare]

lily evans. harry potter.

[fishpetals]

[ if you don't think she suits a bonnie and clyde situation, you're wrong. ]

yet another au

[wolfymcwolf]

[It's a lazy sort of afternoon, in between jobs. They're sprawled on their couch, in their shared flat, with Lily laid against Remus' chest, passing a blunt back and forth.

But no, they're not "together". In a romantic sense. Despite the wedding rings on the coffee table. Those are practically costume pieces, and not cheap ones. Of course, it wasn't really their money that went into them, anyway.

Remus' thumb traces lazy circles on her hip, his head falling back against the couch as Lily takes her turn.] Think we could do it? We've seen the place when we went for information about the Nott's. That party, remember?

[Of course she does, probably better than him. It wasn't that long ago, and Pureblood parties were completely over the top, Malfoy ones even more so.]

[fishpetals]

[ it's the kind of afternoon that lily cherishes. she's nestled quite comfortably against remus' chest, lazing and letting her eyes flutter half-shut as they pass back and forth. she lets remus talk while she takes a couple puffs, humming noncommittally at first and then exhaling slowly toward the ceiling and handing the blunt back to him.

his hand at her hip is warm and familiar. she doesn't even spare a glance toward the rings. ] Of course we can. People that flaunt their wealth forget to keep it behind lock and key. A few cursed items, sure. You know how I am about those, though. [ a prodigy - lily can sort through a cursed artifact's defenses almost with her eyes closed. it should be simple.

should be. ] It's next week, yeah? We'll have to get ourselves in order before then. I can't wear the same dress as I did last time, those circles don't wear the same thing twice ever in their lives.

[wolfymcwolf]

[The back and forth is easy, natural between them now. They're not "together" in a romantic sense, at least not that they've admitted to themselves or anyone else, but they certainly are in every other. Remus is practically boneless on the couch, relaxed and content and enjoying the comfortable weight of Lily laying on top of him.] Mmm, true. You'll have them out in no time.

[He clucks his tongue, somehow managing to become even more boneless as he takes another hit.] Suppose that means I'll need new dress robes as well. [A thoughtful (or just distracted from the high) pause] We'll need to be careful. More than usual.

[fishpetals]

[ anyone that watched them for more than five minutes would know the truth, though. working together so closely for so long has urged them together in every other way and - well - they might as well really be married. while remus has his turn she tilts her head so she can half-burrow into his neck, breathing out a laugh there.

it's easy to be full of mirth when things are going well. ] You're right. I've no intention of disappearing without a trace, you know. [ there's a seriousness there too, however: she means it. the wealthiest of them don't take too kindly to being stolen from. ] We'll be careful. As careful as it takes. [ it's a bit muffled into his neck, but she lifts her head afterward to look down at him with a lazy smile. ]

[wolfymcwolf]

[Remus rumbles out a laugh as well, burying his nose in her hair. He's never felt so light as he does with her, and that's not just because of the smoking.] Neither do I. [Not that Remus has left much of an impression on the wizarding world, at least not one properly attributed. He was raised to be insular, at the least closed off if not distrustful of wizards and muggles alike. Lily's always been different, though.

He smiles back just as slow and lazy, as always encouraged by her confidence.] It'll take a lot of careful, I expect. Probably not just the cursed items we need to worry about.

Lucius Malfoy | Harry Potter

[malificence]

[ I mean, obviously. ]

OBVIOUSLY

[scinlac]

( The first time Bellatrix had stolen one of her father's guns out from the drawer by his nightstand, she had merely snuck down the hallways and back to her own room, and lain awake for the rest of the night as the metal grew warm in her hands and she wondered if this is as close to power as she could get. The sudden sense of invincibility had her heart racing, and while all the options she now had were grave and horrifying, and while she returned the gun before dawn, she caught herself going through those motions again and again. She kept it for longer and longer each time, but this morning, she had taken its twin, too. And ammunition. She had figured out those ins and outs.

She stepped into the bank and her eyes caught on Lucius Malfoy like the sun did in his blonde, blonde hair. His father owned the bank, he did not need to man the teller, but she suspected Abraxas Malfoy is teaching his son a thing or two about the value of the work he'd eventually inherit. He was a healthy man, Abraxas. It would be a while before Lucius is to inherit anything, and it wouldn't mean freedom. Narcissa is of age now, after all, and now that Druella Black has pecked the corpse of Bella's independence near-clean, she would move on to her next victim. Bella supposes this saddens her, a little for him, a little for her sister, most for herself. She rather fancied him, not for his fashions and his looks and his wealth, but for how skilled he is at this game they play.

They're all rich. They're so rich the sinking ship that is the economy hasn't touched them at all. And when they're all made to sit around a table as though they are children again, by parents with much too much influence even on the boys, they play a game. There are five, ten, fifteen of them, and they plan the perfect crime. The icicle for a weaponless murder. Air in a syringe like a heart attack.

A bank robbery, performed by the bank teller. His eyes had sparkled in the most intoxicating way, and she couldn't think of much else for a week after. But they were never left alone, not now, not ever, not when he would be the best man at her wedding in three days time, absolutely not thereafter. This isn't all that planned. She isn't sure if he will agree. Perhaps he'll laugh at it like a joke.

But the car is parked outside the bank. Her chauffeur wandered down the street for a smoke. Her mother is waiting at the other end of town, making last minute arrangements, and Bella is expected there. When it is her turn, the room is nearly empty: two men in line with the other teller, Lucius just a counter away, and her. And a safe, she supposes.

This is madness. )

Isn't it a lovely day? I wish you could join me for a stroll, Lucius.

( She slides the gun across the counter. Her eyes are fixated on his. The motion is fluid, the man in the line rustles his newspaper and the other teller is eagerly going about the transaction with his own customer. )

[malificence]

[ The teller so cheerfully reciting the details of his transaction next to them had, on their last cigarette break, ranted bitterly on and on about how life is a trap when you're poor. Not that you'd know anything about that, Malfoy, he'd said, even as he'd bummed one of the Turkish cigarettes off Lucius. Lucius had said nothing, really, simply stared out at the the backs of buildings behind his father's bank. In part, of course, Johnson is correct. He knows nothing of his life. Of course, Johnson knows nothing of Lucius' either; he doesn't know that being rich sometimes comes with its own series of traps.

He will, he supposes, marry Narcissa Black. Her mother wants it desperately and his father is rather fond of the idea of breeding grandsons as blond as Lucius himself. He's little interest, but that matters about as much as Rodolphus and Bella's interest in each other, and they'll wed in three days time. Rodolphus is the eldest son of his mother's eldest brother, so naturally Lucius will be best man. Bella is...well.

Bella is beautiful, deliciously violent in her imagination, and on occasion Lucius may have awakened still reaching for her and her sleek dark hair, her smooth skin.

He looks down at the pistol she slides across to him, and he's quick to pick it up, slipping it under his jacket. He's just as quick to give her a bright grin and wink as he leans an elbow on the counter. He should laugh it off and tell Bellatrix to go across town to the church to help her mother oversee the flowers or what have you.

He does not. His father will be out of town until just before the wedding. There are hardly any witnesses. He thinks, for a moment, of the pleasure he might have in dispatching them. Johnson is an irritant. ]

I've been inside for near all of it, love. But I'd abandon it all for an adventure with you.

[scinlac]

( The remaining pistol, twin to the one now hidden under his jacket, feels heavy in her purse. The blond man, the one currently in conversation with the other teller, is about Lucius' height, only a few years older, really, not a perfect match, but good enough, if they shoot him in the face and smash in his skull. He'll never be buried under Lucius' name, of course, but he would give the police a week's worth of pondering. Abraxas Malfoy might call the shots more quickly, but if he isn't here for another day or two... Much can happen in a day or two.

Bella is young and very pretty. Abductions happen. It would make the police more eager to find them, but they would be looking for entirely different tracks. This isn't a plan, but it's a good thought to have, she reckons.

It would be less brutal to wait for him to leave, of course. From three witnesses down to two. But the thought of bloodshed has her breath catching in her throat, much like his smile does when it springs to mind in the dead of night. What would he feel like, she wonders, in the seat of her car, droplets of blood still on his cheek, their hearts pounding with victory? Better, she would wager, than it did to touch herself in the dead of night, her face pressed into her pillow to drown out the sound of his name.

Incomparable, for sure, to the dispassionate wedding night waiting for her at the end of the week. She makes as if she were to show him a cheque fished out of her purse, but what matters, what really matters, is the flash of her gun. )

There is no time like the present, is there? If we hurry, we won't need to explain it to the chauffeur.

[malificence]

[ The look in Lucius' gray eyes is a mix of eagerness and hesitancy. It's one thing to talk about these things, after all. It's one thing to murmur delicious ideas while dancing with Bella at their parents' entertainments. It's an entirely different thing to actually turn and shoot Johnson in the face, even if he's occasionally fantasized about it in the terrible staff meetings his father insists upon.

He glances at Johnson out of the corner of his eye, and the other teller is still entirely engrossed in counting the large stack of bills his customer has brought in. It could work, he thinks. The hair is a bit darker than Lucius' own light gold, but the clothes are right. And if it works...he can see Bella now, blood-stained dress on the floor of her car and bare the way he's imagined her at more than one tedious dinner. Bare and sobbing his name the way he's wanted late at night more times than can possibly be counted.

He inclines his head at the man who will serve as his stand while staring into Bella's bright, avid eyes, and then pivots on his heel. His elbow leans against the partition between them. ]

Johnson.

[ He can see the sneer, the beginning of a hissed what and then he raises and fires the gun, and it's gratifying to see the explosion of blood spatter the glass between them. He can feel it warm against his cheek an instant later.

He can hear the chaos happening to his left even before he turns to see what Bella's doing. The man who was behind her is next.

He doesn't make it to the door before Lucius puts a bullet in his head. ]

[scinlac]

You are so brilliant.

( She guns down the third witness as he shoots the man behind her, and here's the first difference between all her fantasies and the real thing: it's over much, much faster. It's much, much louder, too, she can barely hear her own triumphant, overjoyed laugh over the ringing in her ears. But that's fine, beyond fine, she can't remember the last time she has felt this happy. Her eyes are as dark as their imagination has ever turned them, and one shot more has the partition between her and Johnson's corpse crumbling. )

Darling, the vault.

( He'll know what to do with it more than she does, and while it's agony to tear her eyes from his perfect, blood-splattered face, they do need to move fast now. Atop the dead man's desk is a paper weight, heavy enough for what she intends to do, and before reason can have her revolting, she brings it down hard and fast upon what used to be Johnson's face. Her hands are covered in blood and gore, the sound his cracking skull made would have any reasonable person nauseous, but now, the man is beyond recognition, for a little while. She wipes her hand on his shirt – bizarrely crisp and white by contrast, then digs through his pockets for further identifiers.

By the time Lucius has bagged what, in a sense, is his father's money, she is finished. )

Ready?

( If so, it is time to head to the car. If they move fast, she reckons it might not be suicide to stop at a place of his own to pack some essentials. But with their loot, and time in their favour, it might not even be necessary. )

Jimmy | On Doorstep | m/m (18+)

[pickpocketpunk]

David Lieberman | Marvel (netflix)

[workwife]

steve rogers | mcu | ota

[abide]

Ariadne | OC | M/F for anything shippy

[demonicbeauty]

[Thieving demon, here for all your heist needs. Natalie Portman face-twin confusion welcome.]

Eren Jaeger | Shingeki no Kyojin

[preciousbrat]

(m/m for all things shippy, otherwise ota)

Zosky | Kaput and Zosky

[invasionfail]

[No shipping, but is available for intergalactic heists and taking over planets!]

[More than likely, it will end with him failing. And retreating. At least he's a sensible alien.]

Kokichi Oma | Danganronpa V3

[shslliar]

[Well, gee. He always wanted to be a phantom theif.]

guzma | pokemon sun and moon/ultra sun and ultra moon

[acherontiastyx]

[i mean technically there's plumeria but come on, he can do crimes with other people.]

time 2 do crimes

[ravagers]

[ it's been some time since they managed to leave, and vanille still occasionally travels around. she spends most of her time with alani, now, but she misses her friends too much not to go visit them.

so hey, guzma, here's vanille, knocking on ya door. how'd she find you? who knows. ]

Bo-oooooss! Open up!

criiiimes

[acherontiastyx]

[I MEAN... it's not like he's really made his location a secret, both in terms of people he met in the game and in terms of Alola. So you know, while he's not expecting Vanille, he's not super shocked to see her.]

Hey, it's Vanille! It's been a while, huh?

valkyrie | mcu

[swiller]

Rey | SW: TFA | OTA

[thesefirststeps]