bakerstreet | The Epic Meal Meme

The Epic Meal Meme

Sup, haters? You mad jealous you don't have your own badass cooking show? Well, now you can have one. So stop cryin' and start fryin'.

1. Respond with your characters.
2. People will respond to you, and your characters will be hosting a cooking show in the style of Epic Meal Time together.
3. Use the RNG to decide what food they'll be making. The person who responds can do the rolling, or you can roll straight off the bat. Does it look like I care, son?
4. Food and recipes behind the cut. Make them or stay home.

1. Fast Food Pizza-

Ronald McDonald, Wendy, A&W bear, Taco Bell Dog and Colonel Sanders have a wild orgy covered in tomato sauce on some dough under cheese. This pizza is their baby...and we eat babies...

2. The Double Kill-

Hey Colonel! Thanks for the idea of a fried chicken exterior for our sandwich, but I think we'll add more bacon, more cheese and more everything.

3. Breakfast of Booze-

Getting drunk off pancakes...

4. Meatball Deathstar-

Pork, veal and beef rolled into a ball so we could enjoy the meat sweats once again.

5. Fast Food Sushi-

Taking sushi and fast food to the next level.

6. Chili Four Loko-

It makes you crazy!

7. 12 Gauge Hotdog-

50 cent hot dogs, plenty of bacon and a bottle of Jack Daniels! We're going to make the fattest double-barrel hot dog and throw it on a baguette! Because that's how we do it.

8. The Ostrich Nest-

We acquire a whole bunch of ostrich eggs and ostrich meat! Using our culinary powers and a whole bunch of liquor we create The Ostrich Nest.

9. Pigs n' Poultry-

All these birds! We're all about the selection with our line-up of custom wings deep-fried and wrapped in bacon! We also got that sauce, in bird carcass dipping bowls!!

10. Sausage Fest-

We get tons of liquor, bacon, meat grinder, sausage casings and friends. This sounds like a sausage fest but when we do a sausage fest, no dudes allowed!

11. Meat Shield-

Man v Food v Gun! We gather various meats and fashion them into a Meat Shield! Don't know what that is?! Then allow us to show you!

12. Masta Pasta-

We do ravioli in ravioli in a big way! Bacon weave manicotti and some JD tortellini!

13. Meat Cthulu-

Imagine a beast so powerful its skin was made of bacon weave and his face cooked octopus, while its insides were double cheese burgers...that's pretty much Meat Cthulhu!

14. Big Stupid S'more!-

We hit the backyard and made a big ol' stupid s'more that breaks the 70,000 calorie barrier. And we got drunk.

15. Candy BBQ-

We do BBQ in a big way... except made entirely out of candy.

16. Maximum Mac & Cheese-

Epic Meal Time with a magnum of Jack, bout to change the game on cheese and mac.

17. Meat Salad-

Salad. Except none of the bad stuff.

18. Deep Fried Waffle Fries-

Epic Meal Time takes waffle fries to the next level by including waffles, with candy fries in them! Bacon/Jack/Chocolate!! That's how we do waffle fries, player!!!

19. Epic Cupcake Time-

Take a magnum of rainbow juice and so much frosting, and change the friendship game.

20. Choose your own recipe, hater.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ since it's your recipe GET THE BALL ROLLING MAN

Sergeant Glasses will be waiting in the background ]

[Holy sh^@*&!, so much meat. There is an entire f%$#*! cow carcass involved in this, along with an eight inch high stack of baby back ribs as long as said carcass, piled neatly next to the freshly cleaned corpses of two rabbits, two squirrels, seven each of quail, pheasant, duck, and turkey, two whole suckling pigs, a huge amount of deer meat, two filleted rattlesnake, two alligator tails, and BACON STRIPS BACON STRIPS BACON STRIPS HOLY SH%*(& THAT IS A LOT OF BACON STRIPS

Next to them are the barbecue sauce ingredients - including half a dozen handles of Jack - and over by the deep fryer are a wide assortment of fish pieces, shrimp, clams, oysters, scallops, and squid.

Gauron apparently just got done preparing all the wild game himself, because there's a smear of slightly congealed blood on his BiBaconStrips shirt.]

And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark. Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female. Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

[Gauron grins predatorially, and cooking montage is go!]

[ CAN'T FLOOD THE EARTH UNLESS YOU FLOOD THE MEAT

with sawce

Sergeant Glasses, gettin it all mixed up over an open fire

no really there's a campfire in the kitchen

why is

Sergeant Glasses, the stove is right behind

you didn't have to

no? gonna just... okay, man.

Sergeant Glasses says fuck you to appliances. This is Noah's Ark, they didn't need no stove back then ]

[Gauron doesn't even give a sh%(#*, he's already outside loading the beef, pigs, ribs, and deer meat into the huge-ass f@$*&-off smoker. Instead of joining them there, the poultry is getting stuffed quail inside pheasant inside duck inside turkey and joining the rabbit and squirrel on a charcoal grill. Screw the oven, the BACON WEAVE is in there too - so what if the f%#*&ing ark didn't have a f%#(ing sail, their cow carcass boat needs one, and it needs to be made of f^&$@ing BACON WEAVE.

While that cooks up, it's time for some MOTHERF%#&ING JACK and maybe, you know, setting the deep fryer back up outside and taking the seafood, snake, and alligator with it so that if Sergeant Glasses burns the house down, they aren't tragically lost. He turns on the vent fan above the stove, hands Sergeant Glasses a fire extinguisher, and gives him the okay to carry on.

Priorities, Gauron has them.]

_{[He was MADE for this meme.]}

this guy, the best meme

[ DID SOMEONE SAY BACON ]

[ darcy turns on the camera, and then turns around to give the thumbs-up to sokka, grabbing the bottle of jack before joining him behind the camera, holding it up and out for the camera to see. ]

You think you like Mac n' Cheese? Just wait until you see our mac 'n cheese.

[ I actually have an arsenal of recipes we've epic-meal-time'd. :D]

Alors, aujourd'hui, mes amis, nous allons faire la cuisine extraordinaire, quelque chose spécial, vraiment!

[ BEHOLD. Eggs. Bacon. Flour. Sugar. Milk. Fruit. Chocolate syrup. Whipped cream. And every fucking alcohol to ever grace the country of France. ]

I am here today with a very special person, Miss Lalonde! Now, Miss Lalonde is not a cook, this is true, but she is a connoisseur of alcoholic drinks and a creative purveyor of new combinations! With her help and my cooking expertise, today we will be making breakfast à la alcoholic.

[ wow he said a whole lot and roxy already forgot nearly everything. sort of. but, her martini glass is full, so something must be going right. ]

OMG. 'm like swoonin already, you guiase. Guys. [ hahafsdks she laughs, takes a drink and gestures toward france. slurring slightly, ] Voulez-vous coucher avec moi and shit. [ not that she knows what it means but it's basically all the french she knows.

ANYWAY. blinking a little at the spread, she falls silent, contemplative. sort of wondering who the hell he's talking to but, whatevs. look at all these bottles. ] Sos... So it's a liquid breakfast? —t's like I'm right at home. This shit is fancy. Should I drink with my pinky up?

Ah, ouais, ouais, je vais, ma belle, mais pas maintenant. We are cooking, you know! [ Propping her up yessir he is used to drunks welcome to Europe. ]

Non, bien sûr pas! It will be a full breakfast, we will just be cooking with alcohol and making sure we can make you drunk off of what I make! And if that does not work, then I will simply let you drink what is left over. Alors! Allow me to start. We will be making crêpes first, ma belle. [ Flour, sugar, butter, whatever the fuck else goes into crêpes, France is demonstrating as he mixes everything together. ] Now this, aaa, ouais ça, it is not so easy to put the alcohol in, tu vois? That is why--

[ Going over to the fridge. CHALLENGE MODE: ROXY CAN YOU STAND ON YOUR OWN??? ] Aaa... ici! [ He pulls out a bowl of strawberries and drains the liquid in the bowl. ] I have soaked these in a fine, sugar liquor for thirty-six hours. I think these will be fine to put on the crêpes, non? [ A smile, and he walks back over, pulling her against him. ]

[ Macking on ~~underage drunk~~ hot chicks and hosting a cooking show. C'est la vie, motherfuckers. ]

But [ and perhaps this is the most cohesive thought she's going to have right now. and probably for the duration ] doesn't cooking with alcohol make all the good parts leave. The tasty little alcohol particles just floating away into nothingness. [ omg so sad ): ] RIP friends.

[ she glances up, giving him a dubious sort of look ] Creeps? 'm not so shure ...sure... about that, Mr. Frenchy. I like not creeps.

[ and she CAN stand on her own tyvm. which she demonstrates rather fantastically, only swaying just a tiny bit. then just leans on the counter. maybe dipping her finger in the bowl, you know, testing. and it's sooooo good. ] IDK about putting this sort of in creeps, but I'll take some in me.

ARE YOU READY TO WAKE UP? 'Cause we're going to show you how to wake up with booze!

[And Luki brings up several bottles of alcohol and piles them into the table. Where did she get them? Who knows.]

[....Luki. What]

Where did you get these?

They're for the recipe, bigsis! We have to make breakfast!

[She slams a piece of paper down onto the table. It says "RECIPE" at the top, and then "LOTS OF BOOZE" and that's all.]

Okay! What do we start with?

...Luki. We can't use this. We are underaged.

[And seriously this is the girl who once gots 'drunk off of atmosphere'. You do not want her boozing it up]

[Luki looks totally devastated.]

But! If we don't use this, what are we gonna do!?

[Oh Luki. Rise fondly ruffles your hair]

I'm sure we can find plenty to do. We don't need this for cooking--we could also go out if you wanted to. What are you in the mood for?

[Luki makes a distressed mewl as her hair is ruffled.

But when Rise mentions going out, Luki throws her arms up in panic!]

We can't leave, bigsis! What about the show! We have to make something for the show!

[Oh right. The show. The cooking one. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to give these two their cooking show?]

Right, right. The show. [She puts a hand to her chin] We could always check out the recipes in Matt's cookbook. What do you say?

[Our mom is an awesome cook.
Our mom taught us to cook.
Surely we can handle this...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Epic Meal Meme

Gauron | Full Metal Panic! | OTA

20

NOAH'S ARK, BABY

EDIBLE SACRILEGE

no subject

Coop | Megas XLR

HOFFMAN | SAW | OTA

Blaine Anderson I glee

sokka | avatar: the last airbender

16

Darcy Lewis | Marvel Movieverse | ota

roxy lalonde ; homestuck

3

no subject

no subject

no subject

rise kujikawa | persona 4

3, but feel free to have Rise opt they do something else

sob i need more icons

15 is not enough to deal with luki

nope

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

8