knitsock (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2017-10-14 08:55 pm
knitsock) wrote in bakerstreet2017-10-14 08:55 pm
Entry tags:
You have my heart
selectively sweet shipping meme  |
| You might be the biggest curmudgeon in the known universe, just as prickly as a porcupine. Perhaps you're on the other end of the spectrum, cool like a cucumber and never letting anyone get to you. They're not worthy of your time. Still, despite what the case may be, you have one little weak spot. The person you love gets all the sweetness and kindness you have, which admittedly may not be too much, and in your rare moments together, many would be shocked at how you behave. In fact, your special person might not even know that you can be grumpy outside of your encounters! Well, goes to show that everyone doen't know everything about you, do they?
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lady amalthea • the last unicorn
Eren Jaeger | Shingeki no Kyojin | M/M
Re: Eren Jaeger | Shingeki no Kyojin | M/M
Still, sometimes Eren got strangely quiet and slightly... lost? In his own thoughts, maybe. And then Ishida wasn't sure what to do, how to breach the sudden distance.
"Eren?"
Re: Eren Jaeger | Shingeki no Kyojin | M/M
The brown-haired boy was still surprised that he managed to "escape" from his childhood friends. There were things on his mind he couldn't share with them because he sometimes got the impression that they didn't understand him or (and that was the worst) they played down certain worries of him.
He leaned back against the stool, gazing out of the window and breathing out heavily. Relieved he detected that against his habit, this time his thinking wasn't busy. The soothing darkness of nothing filled his head. Now he could relish a bit of time alone, when he heard someone calling his name.
How come that he hadn't heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps?
Slowly Eren turned his head around to see who the visitor was. As soon as he recognized him, he tried to put on a not so thoughtful face. "Ah, .You look as if you have searched for me." He had already on the tip of his tongue the question if something had happened and if there was an emergency meeting but swallowed down the question.
'Calm down. You always think the worst' his inner self remarked.
oops! I missed your tag in gmail inbox! Sorry, my bad.
Ah, yes, Mitsunari fought a titan or two, but for this man, this was hardly an event. Only a part of the daily routine. Now, if he fought off a swarm, that would register in his memory a little bit. But as that didn't happen today, this day remained uneventful in Ishida's mind. If you asked him about today, he honestly wouldn't even remember what the titans looked like at all, as they were regular ones, and so, worthless of his memory.
No, he wished to meet Eren again for himself.
Now that he looked at the young man, he no longer remembered why, because to Mitsunari, when somebody was important, it was their needs that mattered - or rather, his own need was to see them victorious and content. And now, Eren doesn't exactly look content.
"What's wrong?"
Sorry my hand slipped while writing
He kept on a straight face when in fact this simple question was enough to make him face what he had kept away so successful in the last couple of minutes.
He had the urge to explain that there was a lot wrong with him. All these years he had thought of himself as human and now he was facing the realization, that he was just a human in disguise.
When he was fully capable to understanding what has happened to him and how his life would now be, Eren had the feeling that he had betrayed himself and everyone around him. Even through he knew that it was not his fault but from this day on, he had a hard time speaking of himself as "human".
Partly he could understand everybody who whispered behind his back, that he was nothing more than a "monster", something that had no right to live with humans.
Eren had begun to distance himself from his friends and teammates. He managed only the amount of socialization that is requited to get the job done. But this was not the only reason why he was trying to avoid company as often as he could. There was something going on within him, that he couldn't explain to himself. There were days when Eren was having the impression, that it was a wonderful day and that from now on he should go back to being his usual self. On these days the young man felt as if he had been reborn and enjoyed the fact that he was still alive. On the other hand there were days when Eren felt as if someone had decided to take away his happiness and replace it with gloominess. Over the time Eren got tired of his emotions messing with him, for no obvious reasons.
Due to the fact that he was never someone who could explain things easily, he had tried a few times to explain himself to Armin but unlike usually, his blond friend wasn't much of a help. One day he had overheard a conversation between Mikasa and Krista and suddenly Eren threw away the intention to talk with his childhood friend about the strange thing that was going on.
Since that day, he was not only busy with marvelling over how to spend the rest of life as monster who was a threat to humanity, even though he was under the most strict surveillance he could image. To top it all he began to ask himself, if it could be true that he somehow managed to fall for someone. The most irritating thing was, that Eren couldn't think of someone he was finding interesting. But Krista had explained to Mikasa how it feels, when you are in love, and if someone could be a reliable source than it was Krista. On this day Eren had not only realized that there was something ging on within him, that was even more terrifying than being a titan shifter, he also guessed that Mikasa was probably talking with Krista about him.
"I would be lying if I would say, that nothing is wrong, but I don't want to bother you with all these silly things that usually keep my thinking busy" Eren answered and wished that he wouldn't be so much of a coward when it came to talking about him.
"But please, sit down and keep me company while I ..." he continued, biting his lower lip, realising that he just want to talk with someone about random stuff. /Being too much alone isn't good for me/ he stated for himself. "Uhm ... may I ask you something?"
It occurred to Eren that maybe Mitsunari might have had overheard a conversation between Armin and Mikasa, when Eren hadn't been around. /What do I do if what I assume is true? All I know is that I would break her heart since I am not the least bit interested in her/ But who was the mysterious person he was obviously interested in. He saw a lot of people on a daily base and it could be nearly everyone. All Eren knew was that he had a soft spot for people who were protective of him in all kinds of ways and who were treating him like a human being. Or was the confusing his fondness with love?
oops. I'm here!
At first, he's put it down to Eren being focused, naturally, because if Mitsunari Ishida suddenly found out he was a titan (unfortunately, he was not, which was a shame in his opinion), he'd focus on that. Train. Make his titan form most useful. For everyone who mattered. For their victory.
However, then, he's noticed that many petty people only feared Eren instead of respecting him. Was that why... was that why Eren was surely tired of all those pathetic imbeciles and wanted a company of someone, who, like Mikasa Ackerman, one of the few sane people here Mitsunari knew, had a proper reaction to Eren's titan form?
"I'll stay with you."
A question.
"Yes. Ask me whatever you wish, I shall answer."
Because Eren was his comrade. He didn't overhear the conversation - Mitsunari Ishida had no patience for fools who'd lurk in the shadow instead of do things straightforwardly, and so, if he heard anything of importance, he'd just come into the room himself - but he could see that something was eating Eren inside.
no subject
Much to his surprise, he was able to lift up the corners of his mouth to give away the shadow of a smile. It was indescribable to hear these words. Over the time Eren had begun to avoid asking for company from others, even through part of him would have liked to get to know them a bit more. Afterall they were living the same dream, sacrificing their lives for it.
Part of him was telling him, that the less he would know about them, the easier it would be to deal with their death (which would sooner or later occur). Still Eren was arguing with himself, that they were now pretty much alive and therefore they should follow the natural instinct of humans; to bound with others. Whenever he reached that point, he angrily tried to shut up that part of him, that was reminding him, that he was not a normal human being.
"I hope you don't mind my company" Eren muttered. "Sometimes I am not having much of these so-called people skills". He realized that he was trying to start talking about nothing of importance, in order to avoid what he was to ask. There was no need in laying to himself: He was afraid of the answer he might receive. 'Talking the day away won't be of any use to you' Eren reminded himself.
Before he spoke out his question, Eren felt the need to remind Ishida that the question was going to ask might be a bit unusual, yet even displaced but it would be about some things that were troubling his mind.
"Since you are more around the others as I am ... Could it be that Mikasa and Armin were talking about me?" Eren was barely able to make eye contact while talking, and was looking at the table, as if he hadn't seen anything that fascinating before. After a minute pause he continued with a low voice "I know it is odd, they are my friends ... But I assume that ... Well I have overheard a conversation ... I just had to listen and I still feel bad for doing so ..."
It was painful to witness how much Eren was struggling to find the right words. It wasn't helpful that his cheeks were turning red. To Eren it was an eternity before he finally got the strength to start a new. Inside he was curing himself for being only on the battlefield someone you shouldn't mess with. Compared to Eren the solider, Eren the teenager was a stubborn boy who was hiding with this attitude that he was shy and inexperienced. The current situation was another example of it.
"Anyway" he picked up the conversation, and made a waving gesture with his right hand "From said conversation I assume that Mikasa might be in love with me". Eren shook his head, to make sure, what he was thinking of that possibility. "Have you heared her saying anything in that way?".
Now that his tongue got used to speak out something unpleasant, he had to swallow down, everything else he wanted to get off his chest. How he was coming to the conclusion that he might be in love himself but someone who was close to him. How this was not only scaring him, but he was also curious about everything that would involve being with someone.
"I don't want her to love me" Eren stated. Before he could do anything against it, he revealed "It is not that she is not beautiful ... in an aesthetic way she is but she is a woman". When it dawned on him, Eren wished that the ground would open and swallow him immediately.
Mitsunari Ishida | Sengoku Basara | OTA
Scarecrow | Batman Arkham Knight | ota