Literally ruining lives (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
memeboogeyman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-10-11 07:08 am
memeboogeyman) wrote in bakerstreet2017-10-11 07:08 am
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You strayed into my home and into my heart
 Taking in strays is, all in all, an understandable vice. The dips in between their ribs, those large and forlorn eyes, they can help you forget the claws and the teeth and the danger lurking beneath fur. But the habit's a knife edge; your efforts may not be rewarded with kindness (animal instincts aren't discretionary) and you may get bit despite what you've overlooked. A stray doesn't care about pity. All it can know is survival. These warnings apply to strays of the more human(oid) sort, too. But what may even more perilous with this type than any drawn blood is what you can get when they grow to trust you. You can earn their undying loyalty...or their love. Either from such a wild thing is a precarious path to go down, if you allow yourself to do it.
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And reinforced with real feeling.
And also perhaps an opening to steer this conversation away from herself a bit, just for long enough to get some coffee into herself and feel slightly more on top. She doubts that she can really play this game well enough to keep up with Julie, but she can at least try. And she does genuinely worry a bit. She'd rather liked the other woman, after all. "You don't look much better, though."
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"I have spent the last few months with the Void Engineers."
And that would be enough to make anyone tired. Julie could have left it at that, but she continues, "And their latest Horizon Construct was a spectacular failure. There were children involved. I expressed my concerns and I've since been advised to take time off to reflect."
The way she says it leaves no doubt that she'd like to say more and none of it good. She is not happy. She is, in fact, quite angry with all involved. It's not the first time she's disagreed with her superiors, but it's the first time she's actually butted heads with them. She's aware that there may be serious consequences, but she can't bring herself to actually care in the moment.
She pauses to steady herself, refocusing on the issue at hand.
"But you're changing the subject. Why haven't you been sleeping?"
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The next part gives her pause, though, and she frowns lightly. "Children? I thought the establishment of a Horizon Construct was considered too straining for developing psyches?" Not that she's an expert in any way. But that doesn't seem to align with what they'd been saying back then.
She's not going to offer critique - not a hill she would die on one way or the other, and she knows testing techniques well enough to absolutely suspect that Julie is only saying this to put her at ease and get some comments out of her. Even more so with the disclosure that she's been chastised for expressing concerns.
Nope, not walking into that potential trap.
But still, she's curious.
And needs to respond to something herself. "I've been helping out a friend, and it's been eating up more time than I could really spare." She looks down at her coffee and prays that shock will keep her going without truly feeling anything about the loss. She needs the unreal feeling, the distant feeling, to continue for a while longer. "I think the matter is resolved, though, so I can hit the mattress later and not wake up until tomorrow noon or something, hopefully." Maybe. If she can find a safe place to stay.
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There's pain in Julie's tone that she's too tired to mask, and she won't meet Charley's eyes.
"This Construct was meant to be different. It wasn't."
The minds of the children survived were broken, and so was Julie's heart. The project never should have moved forward. She can't help but feel responsible, and she's sure that when she closes her eyes to sleep, she will hear their screams. She's revealing too much, but it's been so long since she's had an honest conversation with another person. The words keep pouring out.
"I was a mother once, Ms. Campbell. I should have known better than to stay silent."
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"You only said something when it was too late." It's not accusing. It's understanding. Repeating Julie's explanation in other words, giving them a slightly different shape to engage with. Automatic, perhaps, but also thoughtful. An achingly familiar, almost comfortable pattern. Just that the conversation isn't. The conversation is... more. In more ways than one.
"The damage could not be mended?"
sorry for the wait, work week has got me like... what day is it again?
Julie doesn't sound particularly hopeful. She doesn't know where the surviving children have been taken or how they are now being treated. She's sure that that's information they wouldn't dream of giving her. Not after she had reacted so negatively to the results of the experiment. She closes her eyes for a moment, centering herself, before returning her attention to her guest.
"I apologize. You don't want to know about any of this."
She could have even inadvertently put Charley in danger by telling her so much. She eyes the young woman across from her thoughtfully.
"Do you have some place to stay?"
No, no, she really doesn't buy Charley's story.
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...Just that Ariana would never have found herself in this kind of predicament. Julie is lucky. This isn't Ariana. Ariana would probably have reported back about the Woman in White's words.
Charley, for obvious reasons, wouldn't.
Their answers to the next question differ as well. "Technically, yeah, but I'm not really in the mood to go back there right now. Had a big fight with the roommate." Well. Someone sure had a fight with the 'roommate'.