since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid

[irrigo]

(harmless) hanahaki meme

hanahaki (literally "vomiting flowers") is a fictional illness that began in japanese literature. most commonly, it happens in the case of unrequited love; flowers bloom in a person's lungs and their love suffocates them until it is either requited or they die. that's pretty angsty. instead, consider a world where hanahaki is a normalised inconvenience and it's never hurt anyone. flowers grow in your chest from the cultivation of love — for your friends, your family, your dog. and it's a feeling that wants to be known, so maybe you can't help spilling petals sometimes when you laugh, or sigh, or shout at someone. everyone knows what it means and it's something to be celebrated. you love. maybe you don't want to, though. maybe you chew on the petals and swallow them back, so that no one knows the feelings you're carrying around in your heart. but maybe that's not going to work forever, and sooner or later, you're going to cough those feelings up.

the short version ① hanahaki means your characters cough up flowers. plain and simple. ② it's caused by unspoken love, in any form, platonic or romantic; whether the love is requited has nothing to do with it. ③ the disease is not harmful in any way, and it's no more annoying than a persistent cough; it's treated as more symbolic magic realism here than concerned with the real life implications of coughing up flowers. ④ it's "cured" when a person expresses their love, whether the feeling is requited or not. ⑤ so basically, you can rp any everyday scenario... but now your character might have to deal with the minor nuisance of hacking up petals around the people they love. and those people are going to know what that means.

Comments

[hakuho]

[ mine listens, without judging. honestly, it's kind of nice to hear. but the hope that maybe daigo could have feelings for him is so dangerous. so completely dangerous. he takes another drink of the hot tea, trying to prematurely drown any flowers that might get the wrong idea. ]

It must be hard, having to protect yourself against such things.

[tojoclan]

It's become second-nature to me.

[ He sighs again, taking a sip of his tea. He doesn't even talk this much at clan meetings. ]

I suppose that's a bit sad, isn't it? [ He chuckles, self-deprecating. ] Even when I was little, I knew my father's men had no choice but to stay around me. I thought that made me powerful, but all it did was isolate me. That simply continued as I got older; I never made many friends in school, and nearly everyone I met after that wound up trying to use me.

[ Never mind all that kidnapping... ]

After a while... staying guarded became the natural thing to do. Dropping my guard, speaking honestly like this, takes far more effort.

[hakuho]

[ mine understands how much this means - not just the amount of words daigo is using, but also the weight of them. how much it matters that he's telling him. he doesn't want to compare himself to daigo, that seems wrong somehow, but daigo says they're friends. and friends can share things, right? especially since he's dropped his guard, and that he mentions he doesn't have many friends.

mine takes a deep breath. ]

Our circumstances were very different, but I didn't have many friends, either.

[tojoclan]

[ Daigo smiles softly. He would never make it out to be some competition, some sort of "who has it worse." He knows very little about Mine's past, besides his job experience, but that doesn't mean he can't appreciate his words and sentiments. ]

Thank you, Mine. [ He knows this stuff isn't easy to talk about so openly. ] Perhaps our circumstances were different, but it sounds like our loneliness was the same.

[hakuho]

"Loneliness..."

[ he repeats the word like it's a foreign concept. like he's never thought to apply it to himself. ]

I think you're right.

[tojoclan]

[ Are you having a revelation, Mine? Daigo is happy to have helped, even just a little. ]

It may seem strange, to feel lonely even when surrounded by so many people, but until I met Kiryu-san and he dragged me out of my stupor, that was exactly how I felt.

[ I mean he technically knew Kiryu before, but that was way different. ]

The Tojo Clan doesn't all have to like me, I've learned to accept that.

[ He turns his head and smiles at Mine. ]

The men that I have on my side are more than enough.

[hakuho]

[ get him a block of wood and a chisel

anyways god, he's been blessed by daigo's smile. it's so beautiful and pure. and daigo is so beautiful. and. he coughs again, flowers escaping into his hand as he covers it. it's a violent reaction, like his body is screaming at him that this is it, this is the perfect moment. with the way daigo is smiling. what he says. they're japanese men, afterall, daigo might as well have just handed him a boquet of flowers with that gesture and those words

even mine, dense as he can be about feelings, can't ignore it.

after the coughing fit subsides, he looks right back at him, trying to be calm. trying to stop his heart from racing. ]

I will always care about you.

[tojoclan]

[ Despite his words and gestures, Daigo is still. Dumb. His body is catching up where his brain isn't, though. As Mine coughs again, Daigo reaches out to stroke his back, instinctively wanting to soothe him.

Suddenly, his own throat starts to itch. His stomach rolls suspiciously. He's not going to start coughing up butterflies, is he?

When Mine speaks, Daigo listens. He can't say for sure that Mine means what he thinks he means, but it sure sounds like it. ]

I... thank you, Mine.

[ He knows he should say more than that, but instead he ends up coughing up petals too. ]

[hakuho]

[ he almost bolts from the touch, it's almost too much but he stays still and lets this other man touch him. but the biggest surprise of all is when daigo starts to cough too. ]

Ah, Daigo-san...

[ he's not stupid, he's quickly putting the pieces together here as much as it's terrifying to do so. ]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

[ to make him feel this way too. ]

[tojoclan]

No, I...

[ He laughs, coughing up still. He isn't quite dumb enough to ignore what this means, but it's a little ironic to feel affection towards someone already suffering from the same fate. ]

I haven't felt like this in a long time, I should thank you.

[hakuho]

Please don't. I would never want to see you have to suffer in this way.

[tojoclan]

[ Daigo shakes his head. Mine's always so serious, it's almost charming. But in the end he always cares, doesn't he? ]

It's an easy fix, Mine.

[hakuho]

[ he doesn't know if he can believe him -- all he's hold him is he cares for him, and that isn't enough to really fix this issue. he loves him, but it's entirely possible daigo's form of this issue is only liking him, a kind of affection that isn't as serious. but..rather than telling him it isn't that simple, he asks: ]

How?

[tojoclan]

You tell them how you feel.

[ Daigo isn't going to tell Mine to confess to him, not in so many words, but he's at least figured out that he's the likeliest candidate here. Maybe he isn't so deeply in love with Mine as Mine is with him, but that doesn't mean they can't try to see where this goes. He coughs again, swallowing back more petals. ]

It's not so painful if it's mutual, right?

[hakuho]

I...

[ he nods. ]

Should I go first?

[tojoclan]

If you'd like. I can also start, though.

[ Daigo nods. ]

Has this been going on for long...? I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner.

[hakuho]

I've done my best to keep it from you. Our relationship is a professional one, I didn't want to burden you with feelings.

[tojoclan]

I understand.

[ He really does. Especially given all his explanations -- Daigo is skilled in keeping people at arm's length. He's been trying to hold off any 'love at first sight' nonsense just on principle, it was hardly Mine's fault. ]

I know this may sound strange, but... I appreciate your restraint.

[ Daigo strokes his hand down Mine's back, drawing it forward to rest on his thigh. Really, if Mine had been open about his feelings from the start, it would have made Daigo suspicious more than anything. This makes a lot more sense. ]

I care about you, Mine. I've wanted to get to know you better since you joined the Tojo Clan, not only because we are around the same age, but also because... you're very and hard-working and your commitment to this organization has never been under any doubt. You are selflessly dedicated, so much so that even now, you put my needs before yours.

That is to say... I would be honored if you went out on a date with me. What do you say?

[hakuho]

[ it takes mine a moment to respond, to even process any of what daigo is telling him because his hand is right there on his leg where he's touching him, and he could barely handle the way h'ed been rubbing his back but now he's probably just going to die. he knows his face must be bright red from blushing and he ducks away to try and hide it -- incredible, he's a grown man, he's never cared about love, he's never needed this, he cannot possibly be falling apart because a nice man is batting his eye lashes and touching his leg and yet.

but he has to speak, because daigo is waiting for an answer. he takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. ]

I've admired you from the moment I joined this organization. I have never had friends, when I joined I thought...perhaps this would be a place I could finally understand the deep bonds between men, and I... [ it's so easy for him to talk about literally anything but himself - business statistics, economics, even english, all fine but the moment he has to start talking about this he falls apart. ] I felt such affection for you like I couldn't begin to understand. Like I'd never felt for anyone.

[ maybe it's a lot to put on someone, but daigo did ask him to be honest. is it any more outrageous than explaining how he'd kill for him? detailing the shady things they got up to in the name of the tojo clan? probably not. ]

I would be honored, as well, if did me the pleasure of going on a date with me.

[tojoclan]

[ It's definitely cute, seeing Mine blush like he is. Given his words, it makes sense. Never finding himself choking back petals, never knowing what it was to feel so bare and vulnerable with ones emotions.

It's a big responsibility, but Daigo already has Mine's loyalty. He isn't put off to find Mine's banking on him. Daigo knows Mine's intentions are genuine. That's all he's ever wanted -- honesty. He can work with the rest.

Daigo squeezes Mine's thigh just slightly, his smile reassuring. ]

It sounds like it's a date then. I hope I don't let you down.