toastysocks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
toastysocks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-09-22 01:29 pm
toastysocks) wrote in bakerstreet2017-09-22 01:29 pm
Entry tags:
1: I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
2: Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
3: I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and sorry, but I'm coming up blank.
4: Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under my bunk
5: i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. force i hope he wasnt asleep.
6: [bring your own text]
2: Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
3: I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and sorry, but I'm coming up blank.
4: Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under my bunk
5: i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. force i hope he wasnt asleep.
6: [bring your own text]
1 — u were throwing up and said "wipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
2 — why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
3 — i have a present for you. like a real gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
4 — your face; I’ve seen enough of it for today. go away now please.
5 — text him!
2 — why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
3 — i have a present for you. like a real gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
4 — your face; I’ve seen enough of it for today. go away now please.
5 — text him!
1. That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
2. Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
3. dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
4. I swear if you help me with this I will go down on you and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
5. Text her!
2. Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
3. dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
4. I swear if you help me with this I will go down on you and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
5. Text her!
Edited 2017-09-22 18:38 (UTC)
1: You fell asleep with your hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
2: .. and that is why you can't leave me unattended.
3: Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
4: So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
5: Okay, but that was a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
6: [bring your own text]
2: .. and that is why you can't leave me unattended.
3: Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
4: So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
5: Okay, but that was a gold-medal-deserving sext. You wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed.
6: [bring your own text]
1. Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
2. How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
3. I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
4. I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
2. How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
3. I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
4. I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
1- Considering she believes I'm part of the 2016 female Russian curling team, I'd say she's pretty drunk
2- He's making romantic advances towards me. And he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
3- I mean besides the fact I almost got stabbed, we still had a pretty good night.
4. [Misfires welcome.]
2- He's making romantic advances towards me. And he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
3- I mean besides the fact I almost got stabbed, we still had a pretty good night.
4. [Misfires welcome.]
1. Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
2. I think the people from Taco Bell are onto us. They had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
3. Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
4. The karaoke bar doesn't have electric avenue. I'll just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue.
2. I think the people from Taco Bell are onto us. They had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
3. Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
4. The karaoke bar doesn't have electric avenue. I'll just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue.
1. Making bad decisions is what makes our family great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
2. Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality.
3. I see your sense of humor has developed admirably in its attempts to cover for the rest of your personality.
4. Besides the stabbing, I had a great time.
2. Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality.
3. I see your sense of humor has developed admirably in its attempts to cover for the rest of your personality.
4. Besides the stabbing, I had a great time.
1. You wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
2. Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
3. How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested?
4. idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
5. (text him)
[OTA including misfires. character info here]
2. Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
3. How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested?
4. idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
5. (text him)
[OTA including misfires. character info here]
1. I know I said I'd always be there for you, but I'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the American judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
2. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower.
3. Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
4. I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
5. What part of "Let's have angry sex" means I want to talk?
6. (text him)
2. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower.
3. Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
4. I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
5. What part of "Let's have angry sex" means I want to talk?
6. (text him)
1. i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
2. THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
3. well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
4. Text her!
2. THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
3. well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
4. Text her!
1. i'm bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
2. Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
3. Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
(text him)
2. Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
3. Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
(text him)
A] Hard to get? I'm playing 'leave me the fuck alone.'
B] Because it's an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome.
C] And she probably thinks I'm in love with her, but after three shots of Patron you love anything.
D] [text him]
B] Because it's an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome.
C] And she probably thinks I'm in love with her, but after three shots of Patron you love anything.
D] [text him]
1. Just got up with the club stamp on my ass. How did it get there????
2. He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
3. All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
4. ...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
5. That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
6. I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
2. He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
3. All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
4. ...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
5. That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
6. I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
1. i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
2. im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
3. Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
4. and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
5. [Text him!]
2. im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
3. Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
4. and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
5. [Text him!]
1. You ran into a window then asked ME what the hell I was doing.
2. You know something is wrong with your life when "mum" is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't.
3. The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
4. That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
5. Text him!
2. You know something is wrong with your life when "mum" is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't.
3. The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
4. That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
5. Text him!
1. Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
2. We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3. He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
4. Text her!
2. We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3. He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
4. Text her!
1. This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
2. Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
3. He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
4. even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
5. [text him]
2. Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
3. He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
4. even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
5. [text him]
1. Hey, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
2. Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
3. And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
4. think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
5. TEXT HIM
2. Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
3. And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
4. think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
5. TEXT HIM
1: im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
2: Your the only one I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
3: There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
4: and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
5: I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
or....text him!
2: Your the only one I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
3: There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
4: and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
5: I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
or....text him!
1 ► are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
2 ► well. okay. as long as i don't have to wear an apron or vaccuum in high heels.
3 ► i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
4 ► i have a real life question: do your boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
1. well my life is still a disaster but i did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something ♪
2. i figure if i collect enough glowsticks i can make glowstick regalia!!
3. ☆☆☆ i've decided to view your threat against my life as flirting ☆☆☆
4. glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ
5. text him instead
2. i figure if i collect enough glowsticks i can make glowstick regalia!!
3. ☆☆☆ i've decided to view your threat against my life as flirting ☆☆☆
4. glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ
5. text him instead
Edited 2017-09-22 18:54 (UTC)
1] He sexted me a novel. Impressive or uncomfortable?
2] It's like he didn't even know what a vagina was.
3] And please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. I will be home bored and sober.
4] That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
5] [text her]
2] It's like he didn't even know what a vagina was.
3] And please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. I will be home bored and sober.
4] That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
5] [text her]
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