bakerstreet and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

[c6h12o6]

THE UNFORTUNATE EVENTS MEME

Today is really your unlucky day. All the good luck you amassed with your good deeds or rituals in the name of dark gods is suddenly gone, leaving behind only an endless stream of surprising coincidences and unfortunate events. Hoped to have a peaceful day? Not so fast! First you'll have to deal with a stream of black cats, falling buckets and broken pipes.

• Post with your character, their fandom and pairing preferences (if any) on the meme. (Note that most options are open to PG and NC-17 situations, so you might want to specify what you're looking for.)
• Go to Random.org and roll to discover what's going to happen to you!
• Tag around and have fun threading with people!
• Make sure to be considerate and amazing to each other.

1. The floors are slippery, like in that cartoon scene with a slippery banana peel. And just like in that scene, you managed to slip, slide across half the room, and land right on top of that one and only person in the vicinity. Talk about embarrassing! Even if neither of you were hurt, it's only polite for you to do something for them as an apology.

2. The doorknob broke, leaving you stuck in the most embarrassing situation ever. Maybe you're in a public pool with someone, right outside your front door while wearing only a towel, or simply stuck in a storeroom. Ramming on the door does nothing, so you'd better be prepared to spend a lot of time here.

3. The elevator stopped, leaving you stuck inside for a while. If you want to make things worse, there are aphrodisiacs seeping through the air vents, making it rather warm in here. Let's hope you and your partner can find a way to pass the time, because man you are going to die of boredom otherwise.

4. Wardrobe malfunction is the misfortune of your day. Either one of the threads caught somewhere or you didn't consider how well these clothes sit on your figure, but everything suddenly falls apart and leaves you stark naked in public. Don't worry, though. You might convince the audience that you meant for this to happen if you smile just right.

5. It's raining outside and the pipes are leaking, so maybe losing your clothes isn't entirely bad. After all, standing in the middle of the yard or a hallway while being soaked through with rainwater (or liquid aphrodisiacs?) is nothing short of awkward. Let's hope none of your clothes look transparent when wet, hm?

6. Did you just lose the keys to those handcuffs? Yup, you sure did. That should teach you to either try them on your own or play cops'n'robbers without safety precautions. Let's hope you can find someone willing to take them off you. Just remember: some handcuffs are designed to unlock through something other than keys.

7. So you woke up (or put yourself) in a situation where a toy was strapped onto you or lodged inside you and there is only one way to take it off. Thankfully, the remote control is nearby... except you push too hard and break the controls when they're on full throttle. Better find someone to help you before the vibrations drive you insane.

8. A malicious virus has invaded all nearby electronic devices, forcing it to broadcast your private moments in public - anything from kinky sexual acts to that time you danced around in your underwear to "Dancing Queen". To make things worse, the sensors are going haywire too and these broadcasts only trigger when you're nearby. Time to live an embarrassing day and hope nobody asks you exactly how you managed to pull off that position or hid the evidence.

9. Wild Card: Of course, the day isn't limited to only these types of misfortune. Feel like bring creative? Then go ahead and come up with an unfortunate event of your own!

{slightly altered from a meme by sparkworkers}

Comments

Marty Byrde | Ozark

[miserabyrde]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Miraculous Ladybug

[de_evilise]

[ PG Options only obviously ]

Agent South Dakota | Red vs Blue

[whosthemonsternow]

2

[bloodbathing]

[ To be fair, the door handle was already damaged. It had been hit by a stray bullet as he and South forced their way into the compound. (Not one of their bullets. Freelancers didn't ruin potential escape routes unless they meant to.) At the time, it hadn't been a concern. Their priority had been clearing the place of Insurrectionists. But now? Now, it's an issue.

[ Maine growls in irritation. He'd barely put any pressure on the damn thing. It would've taken more to snap a twig! And yet, here he is, holding the remains of the door handle like a battered, broken trophy.

[ Shit. ]

Makoto Kino | Sailor Moon

[sendthelightning]

robert small | dream daddy

[gruffs]

[ life is hell and we're all going to die ]

Dr. Angela 'Mercy' Ziegler ⛨ Overwatch ⛨ OTA

[watching_over_you]

*Everyday's a bad day when you're a support hero.*

martin taylor | barracuda | ota

[blockouts]

Larsa Solidor | ffxii

[larsas]

Basch fon Ronsenburg | ffxii

[royaldifficulties]

leonardo watch / kekkai sensen

[hellsalem]

Severus Snape || Harry Potter || OTA

[snarkypotions]

1 - PG

[4hearts]

Evie was one of the last students to pack up and start toward the door. She was rooting through her bag for her mirror, and missed seeing the bright yellow puddle in her path. As soon as fabulous chunky-heeled boots hit the liquid, she pitched forward, squealing. Her bag went flying as she slid across the floor, her hands reaching out for anything to catch herself on before she overbalanced and fell.

Unfortunately for her, what she managed to grab was a fistful of the professor's black robes. And she was still sliding. She really hoped he was strong enough to keep them both upright.

Scott Summers (Cyclops) | All New X-men

[chessmastering]

[All his life is a never-ending conga line of unfortunate events, so...]

Minako Aino | Sailor Moon

[ainotenbatsu]

[ playing her from post canon, making her about 20 ]

Agent Texas | Red vs. Blue

[a_shadow]

Jason Todd | DC Comics

[red_hoods]

Zero | Hit the Floor

[startedfromzero]

Roland Deschain | The Dark Tower Series (The Gunslinger) | OTA

[popkins]

Hibiki Shikyoin ♔ PriPara

[priforprince]

[[ no 7 ]]

Takashi "Jackie" Mizutani | Vampire: The Masquerade | ota

[talkative]

[Considering he's a Pander a big part of his existence is an unfortunate event, but that aside...

I'm super open to all kinds of canon or cross-canon, but if you play a fellow vampire how about option 2 and locking themselves out of the house half an hour before sunrise?]

Marie Kreutz l The Bourne Series l OTA

[reluctantaccessory]

Kurt Wagner | X-Men Evolution

[digthefuzz]

[No smut.]

Nephrite | PGSM

[angstennou]

for innerflow

[angstennou]

Nephrite was annoyed. Turtlehead had went out with his fiancée to decide wedding stuff and left Nephrite alone to close the karaoke parlor again. Damn Motoki. Nephrite would ask for an extra day off. He threw the trash at the dumpster with more strength that needed, and it startled a stray dog who was hiding nearby. Nephrite let out a startled cry when the dog bit his leg, and his automatic reaction was to kick the dog with his free leg to make it release him. It worked, and the dog ran away from him.

"YOU STUPID ANIMAL! I'LL KILL YOU!" Nephrite yelled and limped after the dog, throwing at it whatever things he managed to grab, like empty soda cans and other trash that was scattered in the alley.