bakerstreet | you lied to me before.

you lied to me before.

TRUTH MEME

Sometimes, you have to tell the truth. No, I mean, you have to. Maybe it's magic, or a promise, or nanobots; who knows. But you have to tell the truth, and everyone knows it. Of course, do half-tuths count? What about lying by omission? That's up to you, and how far you want this curse, this ailment, to go. The only thing that can't be escaped is the truth, whatever form that truth takes.

What happens next?

You decide.
Post your character to the meme.
They have to tell the truth when they're asked questions.
What others ask is up to them. Nothing is off limits.
Your character has to answer... eventually.
Tag around and ask other characters questions!

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[ that doesn't help. ]

I'm not embarrassed about my childhood. I just don't like you knowing about it.

What, you think I'm going to laugh at it? If I laughed at everyone who shared their story about finding their faith, I'd be a pretty lousy minister.

Difference is I didn't want to tell you. Specifically you. I'm not comfortable with or around you.

[That has his friendly expression faltering.]

Robert, come on...

[ And in turn, has Robert double downing on his own glare. ]

Come on what? We're not friends, Joseph. We're noth-- [ He wants to say nothing but the fucking truth drug gets in the way here and he ends up spitting out something different. ] We're exes and you broke my heart, fuuuck. I did not want to say that to you either.

[Joseph falters under that glare. Now that does hurt. And the worst part is, he knows that's the truth drug talking, making him say what he really feels.]

We could... still be friends, you know.

[ This conversation is just... uncomfortable. Robert really wishes he could stop talking, wishes Joseph would just give up and leave. He looks pained again, closing his eyes as thoughts he just doesn't want to share with Joseph spill out of him. ]

I can't be friends with you when I'm still in love with you.

[ god damnit. god fucking damnit. ]

Robert... You...

[After all this time, Robert still had feelings for him? He knew that Robert resented him, hated him for chickening out and fleeing back to hide behind his marriage, but Joseph never would have thought that Robert had any of those feelings left in him.]

[ Have a very frustrated noise here, Joseph. He knows. He knows. Everything Joseph could possibly say about it, Robert's already said chidingly to himself as he spirals into guilt. There's another glare here and he looks away, pained. ]

I know. It's stupid and pathetic and I fucking hate myself for it. Every time I look at you, I feel sick. What does it say about me that I still just -- I just want to be with you, all the time, despite the fact you treated me like garbage? Fuck. I deserve to just die.

No.

[And though he knows the contact is probably unwanted, Joseph goes to grip a hand on Robert's shoulder, squeezing it in a way he hopes is comforting.]

I... I'm sorry for how things turned out. I really am. It was hard for me, too.

[A part of him truly wanted to stay with Robert, and that was the Lord's honest truth. But he had to think of Mary, and the kids, and what the community would think... it wasn't as easy as he would have wanted it.]

But you don't deserve to die because of it. Your life's worth a lot more than that.

[ It's -- both comforting and not, admittedly. He tenses a little at the touch but he doesn't shake him off. That's the problem too, he always wants to touch Joseph but he really, really shouldn't -- so moment's like these? They suck. ]

I don't really think it was, actually. You bounced back just fine. Meanwhile Mary and I are fucking miserable all the time.

[ God, he didn't want to bring her up. Her secrets stay with Robert and he hates that he voiced them just a little here too. ]

And shit, why not? I could just fucking disappear and no one would care. So, fuck off.

Robert, I... It's not like that. Really, it's not. You think I enjoyed hurting you like that? I'm not happy either, and if I had the ability to, I wouldn't have let things become what they are. But I don't have that luxury, Robert.

[It's said with only the faintest hint of bitterness, though it's less directed at Robert and more directed at the circumstances. He envied Robert's ability to just do what he wanted without repercussion, without having to worry about what a community would think. Robert could be miserable, could be surly, could hook up with anyone he wanted. Joseph? He had to present himself in a respectable light, had to show the world everything was fine, had to put up a front to hide how truly miserable he was. Even Mary he envied, especially since everyone just seemed to take her antics in stride.]

Of course people would care. Mary would care, for one, as would everyone in the cul-de-sac. Everyone considers you a friend, and you can tell me off all you want, but I bet if you asked them they'd agree with me.

[ He hates this because he wants to end the conversation here, wants to have never said half the things he's said already but instead he's stuck with this gut impulse, this forced thing that makes him look pathetically at Joseph and confess his quiet regrets. ]

... I think you did enjoy it. You're using your reputation to justify your fear and taking it out on me instead. I think it makes you feel better to see how my life is and how people react to me so you can think at least I made the right choice for whatever bullshit that makes you want to hide in that fucking closet.

[ HE REALLY... DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT MUCH. he winces, rubbing his face with his hands and trying to bite his tongue but he can't, he can.t]

They'd all move on, you idiot. Maybe for a bit they'd be sad but they would move on. Look at you, you're fine without me. That says enough, doesn't it?

Some of us actually care about what other people think of them.

[For a minute, the accusation makes him lose his composure. There's some definite anger there, but even though he's getting angry at Robert's accusations, he's also getting angry at the fact that a good chunk of what Robert's saying is incredibly accurate. Not the enjoyment part, not the gloating over Robert's misery, but definitely the justification and the hiding.]

[And it's painful, knowing you're in the wrong but clinging so desperate to that denial.]

If I was fine without you, or wanted nothing to do with you, do you think I would invite you to all of my barbecues and get-togethers? Do you think I'd be okay with letting Mary go out almost every night if I didn't know you'd be there with her?

[That... okay, he does have an issue with Mary going out every night and coming home drunk, she's his wife, of course he'd have an issue. But there was some reassurance knowing that she was at least with someone who, despite his and Robert's issues with one another, would take care of Mary and make sure she wouldn't get into too much trouble.]

I don't know what else to say, Robert. I...

[He sighs, trying to get his composure back. He drags a hand down his face.]

I know you're not going to believe a word I say. And that's fine, as much as it hurts. But I'm telling the truth when I say that I don't enjoy seeing you throw your life away because of me.

[ he sort of... deflates at this, shoulders slumping and arms crossing over his chest as he looks at the floor. he still wants to stop talking but he can't, finds the words spilling out of his mouth anyway.

but they're softer now, quiet. he's too tired to be angry. ]

It feels like you just do it to save face. And I can't not go, can I? Then I'm the asshole. You put me in a shitty position every time you invite me and it's one of the few times I get to see you anyway, so why would I say no?

[ god damnit. ]

... I'm not throwing my life away because of you. I just don't think I'll be able to love anyone but you and that makes me really fucking sad.

[ GOD DAMNIT. after that he just closes his eyes, clenching his hand into a fist and biting his knuckles. he just. wants to. stop fucking talking right now. ]

[And like that, the anger from before dissipates. Because now Joseph knows that Robert isn't just spinning some tale, this is the Lord's honest truth coming from him. And that makes him feel like an absolute asshole, because he had no idea just how much Robert really was affected by this whole mess.]

Robert...

[He runs his hand down his face again. Lawrence of Arabia.]

I... just thought you were mad at me. I didn't think...

[ so, he can't lie. but he can still be really fucking mad and the glare he shoots joseph then is ice cold. he doesn't want any stupid apologies, he doesn't want empty words. he just wants to stop hurting. ]

You never do, Joseph. It doesn't matter though because nothing's going to change between us, you made your stance pretty fucking clear.

Robert, please...

[What started out as a fun little experiment now turned into this... it hurts him just as badly as it probably hurts Robert. Joseph was never one for conflict, and he all but shrinks under that glare. He has to look away as he talks.]

Look, I... I know I can't be with you the way you want. Even if Mary's checked out, someone has to be there to keep the family together. [Because he does care about his kids, genuinely cares that they have a good life, a good upbringing.] . And I'm not saying that because I want to rub it in your face, or anything like that. Despite everything, I... still want things to work out with Mary. And I know I can't have both of you.

[He and Mary were both miserable, yes, but... deep down, he still cared for her. Still cared for both of them, and he knew he couldn't have everything he truly wanted.]

We can talk about this. Without any weird truth potion or whatever it is. Because, even if we can't be together as... as partners, I still want you as a friend, Robert.

[ He doesn't want to listen to this. It's easier to hear the other end of it from Mary, hear her frustration and miseries and help her because she's his best friend and he wants to be there for her. He doesn't want to hear it from Joseph, feeling deeply that these are just empty words anyway, that nothing's going to change.

He wants to stop talking. ]

Mary deserves better than being stuck in a loveless marriage because you're too selfish to let her have a divorce. And I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to be anything to you anymore. I think I'd be happier if we were strangers.

[And those words hurt just as much as if he'd been struck. Not because they were harsh, but because they were true; in his desire to keep things together, was Joseph being selfish? Maybe a little, but that's because he'd wanted to keep things together, keep the ship from sinking.]

[He makes to try and speak a few times, but each time he remains silent. Unable to summon forth any more words to try and mend this mess.]

[In the end, he just deflates, gaze turned down.]

...okay. I'm sorry, Robert. For pushing things.

[ There's a slight hesitation here and then he sighs, closing his eyes. It's not as if it feels good to hurt Joseph, maybe just for a moment to make him feel the same sort of hurt Robert carries but after the moment passes, Robert just feels bad. He just wants to reach out and hold him, kiss him. It sucks that one guy can make him feel such a whiplash of emotions. ]

It's -- it's not fine. But I'm used to it. I hate hurting you. You just... you don't listen to anyone and it's so frustrating and I'd rather be kissing you right now. God, do I want to kiss you.

[ But it's still clear enough he doesn't really want to say that when he pinches the bridge of his nose with his hand, closes his eyes and braces his other hand against his hip. Ughhhh, Joseph. ]

[He can see that obvious discomfort, and he can tell that talking about this is bothering Robert as much as it's hurting him. He shakes his head.]

No, it's okay, Robert, you don't have to say more. You've... made your point pretty clear. [Its hard enough hearing someone still has feelings for you, but knowing it's paired with some pretty obvious hatred is difficult to swallow.]

We don't have to keep talking about this. We can, but not... not like this. [Not where Robert is forced to spill everything like he has. He's not sure if he can handle much more harsh truths]

[ A jerky nod here and Robert opens his mouth to speak again but he's able to catch himself, hand falling over his mouth and eyes closing as he looks down at the ground and tries to keep himself from saying anything.

God, he loves Joseph, and it fucking sucks.

But now that he's able to stop himself from speaking again, it just leaves a kind of awkward silence between them. Where do they go from here? ]

[Robert isn't the only one who's got inner turmoil going on, but he doesn't want to bring it up; doesn't want to set Robert off, doesn't want the man to bring up more truths that Joseph isn't prepared to face, or doesn't want to face.]

[Why do things have to be like this? Why can't Joseph have the family he wants to remain stable, the woman he cares for to love him back, and the man he has feelings for to not hate him? He wants it all, so badly, but it's selfish to want so much. He knows it's selfish to want so much, knows he can't have what he really wants. He's been trying to compromise as much as he can, trying to make sure everything around him doesn't fall apart, and he hates it.]

[So why does it feel like everything is making it seem like he's the bad guy? Isn't he doing enough? He... doesn't know what else to do.]

[The silence stretches, but it's not a comfortable silence. Joseph's at a loss too.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

you lied to me before.

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asdfgh sorry for the delay!!

it's fine!! i was mostly mobile this week anyway

fffff one day I will reply to tags on time

PSSH it's fine i'm stll hella here 4 u

FFFF thank u friend /o/

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THIS THREAD IS GIVING ME FEELS ;w;

SAME i'm dying squirtle

Ghhhh these two need to sit down and talk things over because GOOD LORD

YEAH............ COME ON

All three of them need to sit down and talk things over and then make out I mean hug it out

oh definitely make out

Just get together and bang and just get all that awkward tension out

hhhhhonestly

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