It wasn't as though Jyn hadn't been anticipating this - or something like it once Cassian found out the details of the mission. That was absolutely part of the reason why she hadn't gone into detail about it the night before. That was their time to be together, and she hadn't wanted to start a fight. Funny, that Jyn Erso, of all people, wanted to avoid a fight. Of course, now that he knew what the mission entailed, there was no avoiding any of this.
And although she stood as tall and as strong and as proud as she could while following him down the icy hallways, on the inside, she was a complete mess. He wasn't happy, it was partly her fault for attempting to keep things from him, and there was nothing she could do to make it any better. She was stuck. He had to know that she was stuck.
Jyn wasn't expecting the sudden stop, and although Cassian was gentle enough when he pulled her into the storage room, she still found herself a little breathless and wild eyed once they found themselves inside. She also found herself feeling all the more guilty once they were staring at each other and she could see just how panicked he was - and how hard he was attempting to hide it from her.
And the way his voice broke only just made her stomach twist painfully in response. She shook her head almost violently as he spoke, and practically threatened to go above her head in order to take the mission away from her. He'd probably say just about anything about her in his desperation to keep her safe and wouldn't that - wouldn't it just make things worse?
"I can't, Cassian", she replied, cursing the helplessness evident in her voice. "If not me, they'll send someone else - someone without the proper knowledge of how these people think, and I - I can't have someone else's blood on my hands if I can help it. I can't."
no subject
And although she stood as tall and as strong and as proud as she could while following him down the icy hallways, on the inside, she was a complete mess. He wasn't happy, it was partly her fault for attempting to keep things from him, and there was nothing she could do to make it any better. She was stuck. He had to know that she was stuck.
Jyn wasn't expecting the sudden stop, and although Cassian was gentle enough when he pulled her into the storage room, she still found herself a little breathless and wild eyed once they found themselves inside. She also found herself feeling all the more guilty once they were staring at each other and she could see just how panicked he was - and how hard he was attempting to hide it from her.
And the way his voice broke only just made her stomach twist painfully in response. She shook her head almost violently as he spoke, and practically threatened to go above her head in order to take the mission away from her. He'd probably say just about anything about her in his desperation to keep her safe and wouldn't that - wouldn't it just make things worse?
"I can't, Cassian", she replied, cursing the helplessness evident in her voice. "If not me, they'll send someone else - someone without the proper knowledge of how these people think, and I - I can't have someone else's blood on my hands if I can help it. I can't."