footsheath (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
footsheath) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2017-01-14 02:03 am
footsheath) wrote in bakerstreet2017-01-14 02:03 am
1. you gonna smoke this blunt? or are you gonna keep doing kung-fu in my kitchen?
2. you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
3. and by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
2. you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
3. and by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well then, love, you need only point me in the direction of said cheese sticks and they'll be yours.
ONE. last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so i just fucking punched them in the face.( or you send the text! i'm easy. )
TWO. man fuck you i'm a delight.
THREE. russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us.
FOUR. we had to leave cause i knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
FIVE. woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
1 - I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
2 - I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
3 - WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
4 - I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
5 - Thank you for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
2 - I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
3 - WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
4 - I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
5 - Thank you for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
1. It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
2. Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed
3. Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at the checkout. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
4. IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
5. I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
2. Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed
3. Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at the checkout. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
4. IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
5. I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
1. WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
2. You refused to come out of the bathroom until I asked you in spanish.
3. I'm so bored in this meeting... I just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies.
4. Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided.
[or text the troll instead]
2. You refused to come out of the bathroom until I asked you in spanish.
3. I'm so bored in this meeting... I just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies.
4. Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided.
[or text the troll instead]
kurt wagner [nightcrawler] ❧ x-men: apocalypse ❧ ota for gen/misfires; m/m for ships
shadowblends
2017-01-14 08:01 am (UTC)(link)
1. I ended up drinking while wearing a dirndl and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life.
2. There's a kitten on my face and it's faaaantastic.
3. I gave him a blow job and his mom gave me chocolate chip muffins afterwards. I love them.
4. I declare 'blue' a flavor.
5. [text him!]
2. There's a kitten on my face and it's faaaantastic.
3. I gave him a blow job and his mom gave me chocolate chip muffins afterwards. I love them.
4. I declare 'blue' a flavor.
5. [text him!]
[continued from here.]
[Uh, sure. Yeah, this is fine.]
do i have to be truthful when answering this question?
some of them, yes. most of the scouts i've seen are usually tying knots, putting up tents or making s'mores.
[Uh, sure. Yeah, this is fine.]
do i have to be truthful when answering this question?
some of them, yes. most of the scouts i've seen are usually tying knots, putting up tents or making s'mores.
1. is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety
2. Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
3. Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
4. I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
5. I saw him and didn't have sex with him.
2. Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
3. Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
4. I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
5. I saw him and didn't have sex with him.
1. Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
2. Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
3. I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
4. Thank you. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
5. [or text him]
2. Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
3. I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
4. Thank you. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
5. [or text him]
...I think you meant to send this to Master Kenobi. Also, you just shattered my illusions that you're a lot more pulled together than you are.
1. Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
2. He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
3. WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
4. I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
5. [or text him]
2. He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
3. WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
4. I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
5. [or text him]
When it is the run-up to something going even more alarmingly wrong than usual.
1. He promised to murder my enemies and make as many vegan cupcakes that my heart desired at any time. What kind of horrible man is this? Ugh! I mean really. Vegan cupcakes!
2. What's the best way to get blood out of a dress? I'm asking for a friend.
3. So we now have a pet chicken. The others trying to teach it how to be evil which is getting us nowhere.
4. Have you called any of the jails yet? There a chance he's stayed the night in one.
2. What's the best way to get blood out of a dress? I'm asking for a friend.
3. So we now have a pet chicken. The others trying to teach it how to be evil which is getting us nowhere.
4. Have you called any of the jails yet? There a chance he's stayed the night in one.
ooc: From here.
[ Yes, well, Cor is a bit ahead anyway?
But Regis blinks for a moment at the first part, as the alcohol's effect slowly spreads out through his veins. The 'keep Cor out of work for a day' order did not come from him, at least? And he has to ask, ]
Did something happen, over the days before, which could have resulted in that? I was not informed. [ Did you get yourself nearly killed in an unusual way?
And then. The faint easing of Regis's face - if only up to concerned curiosity - gets clouded away once more. He slowly turns away once more to look over the city, trying his Six-given best to not see it in ruins, in his mind's eye. His voice is barely loud enough to reach Cor. ]
I just realized all over again that we may never... we might never be able to push back against this onslaught. Not something I can ever speak of where it can be heard.
[ For most people, there would be preamble. Attempts to soften the words. But it is Cor, and he would not appreciate those. ]
[ Yes, well, Cor is a bit ahead anyway?
But Regis blinks for a moment at the first part, as the alcohol's effect slowly spreads out through his veins. The 'keep Cor out of work for a day' order did not come from him, at least? And he has to ask, ]
Did something happen, over the days before, which could have resulted in that? I was not informed. [ Did you get yourself nearly killed in an unusual way?
And then. The faint easing of Regis's face - if only up to concerned curiosity - gets clouded away once more. He slowly turns away once more to look over the city, trying his Six-given best to not see it in ruins, in his mind's eye. His voice is barely loud enough to reach Cor. ]
I just realized all over again that we may never... we might never be able to push back against this onslaught. Not something I can ever speak of where it can be heard.
[ For most people, there would be preamble. Attempts to soften the words. But it is Cor, and he would not appreciate those. ]
01. we have sex, then he cooks. it's like a fantasy.
02. traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
03. i know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night i walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
04. text him :-)
02. traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
03. i know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night i walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
04. text him :-)
( previous thread here! )
I. HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
II. She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
III. It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
IV. Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your New Year...
V. TEXT HER!
I. HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
II. She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
III. It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
IV. Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your New Year...
V. TEXT HER!
was going to continue the other now that I can tag again but can't resist blaming barry
unrecognizable
2017-01-14 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sure Barry is incredibly sorry about the hole. He looked like a kicked puppy afterwards. Would me putting an arrow in his non vital parts help?
[ that's Oliver's solution to everything; put an arrow in it and move on ]
[ that's Oliver's solution to everything; put an arrow in it and move on ]
the other one is so good but poor Barry doesn't get blamed enough
ex_clobbers559
- 2017-01-14 10:46 (UTC) - Expandit's true, I'll probably still hit it tbh, captcha is nbd
unrecognizable
- 2017-01-14 10:52 (UTC) - Expandshe's got an easel and palette in her apt so here goes headcanon
ex_clobbers559
- 2017-01-14 11:02 (UTC) - Expand01. Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
02. Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
03. Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
04. Text her!
02. Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
03. Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
04. Text her!
1: You danced?!
2: Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
3: I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
4: I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
5: [Or text her!]
2: Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
3: I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
4: I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
5: [Or text her!]
Sounds like business as usual.
[ a Good, Supportive friend, right? ]
[ a Good, Supportive friend, right? ]
(deleted comment)
pretty sure your the only one of us with the kind of sex appeal that would work at a 24 hour fitness.
1. Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
2. There's a kitten on my face.
3. My boyfriend made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
4. Text Shelby.
2. There's a kitten on my face.
3. My boyfriend made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
4. Text Shelby.
i. You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
ii. I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
iii. PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
iv. I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
v. Text her!
ii. I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
iii. PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
iv. I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
v. Text her!
1. I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
2. Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
3. I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
4. Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
5. text her?
2. Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
3. I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
4. Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
5. text her?
Are you going to keep eating again like you did last time if I do?
ooc: For overflow, but if you want, hit him up.
raptor mom wants to not have gotten out of bed this morning (hA)
mumistheword
- 2017-01-14 17:22 (UTC) - Expand1 - You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
2 - Can you please reassure them I'm not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
3 - You finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
4 - I fell into a fridge. I want to leave.
5 - [Text him!]
2 - Can you please reassure them I'm not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
3 - You finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
4 - I fell into a fridge. I want to leave.
5 - [Text him!]
[From here.]
1 - Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
2 - You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
3 - Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my tent by luring it in with ham. You're going to rot for this.
4 - After we finished, you said "you're a champion"... Then whispered "forever"
5 - [Text him!]
1 - Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
2 - You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
3 - Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my tent by luring it in with ham. You're going to rot for this.
4 - After we finished, you said "you're a champion"... Then whispered "forever"
5 - [Text him!]
you can't tell me you ate my burrito and to calm down all the in the same text, gladio
Edited 2017-01-14 18:59 (UTC)
1. Has anyone heard from Logan or has he actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
2. You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice.
3. Decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin Chicago Northwest. It was worth the broken legs.
4. [text her.]
2. You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice.
3. Decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin Chicago Northwest. It was worth the broken legs.
4. [text her.]
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