bakerstreet | the betrayal/redemption meme

the betrayal/redemption meme

BETRAYAL MEME

You have done something unspeakable to the people closest to you. How did this come to be, and how will you make amends?

Instructions

Post with your character with their name, series, and whether you're the betrayer, the betrayed, or simply leave it blank! Then, either make up your own scenario to your liking, or use our prompts (RNG totally optional) and go wild!

(Example: for organization's sake, denote b3+2 where you killed someone and are trying to hide it or r5+3 for a situation where you side-hopped and now want nothing more than to make things right, so that people know at a glance whether you're betraying or being redeemed and what you did.)

betrayal; you've turned your back on everything you once stood for

1) you're innocent. it's not your fault, but they can never know. maybe you're protecting someone. maybe you're being blackmailed. whatever the case, it's your dark secret.
2) you're hiding. you've done something terrible, but no one knows it yet. how far will you go to bury what you've done for good?
3) you're uncertain. everything is in place now, but nothing's been set into motion yet. maybe it's not too late to turn back. or is it?
4) you're slipping. you thought you could change. maybe for a while you even managed to. but now you find yourself falling back to your old ways, and everyone around you is at risk.
5) you're reacting. they betrayed you first. you're not in the wrong. they deserve this. they brought this upon themselves. you're not really betraying anyone if they pushed first.

redemption; you've done something that can never be forgiven

1) you're trapped. they caught you red-handed, or maybe you turned yourself in. now those you betrayed are free to face you one by one and have their revenge.
2) you're false. this whole betrayal thing isn't working out quite the way you'd hoped. maybe if you play your cards just right, you'll be able to get your old life back.
3) you're selfless. whatever forced your hand to begin with doesn't matter anymore. you'll destroy yourself and play the role of a villain to the very end if that is what it takes to make things right.
4) you're lost. what you did was wrong, and you know that now. you can never be sorry enough, and you've lost your way. all you want to do is find home. won't anyone out there show you the way?
5) you're tortured. you have to make amends for what you've done. you have to. the thought consumes you, possesses you. you have to find them, help them. but after what you've done, will they even want to see you again?

what you've done;

1) you sold them out
2) you killed
3) you joined the other side
4) you stole
5) you lied
6) you simply are. you were never 'good' to begin with.

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[ His ... job.

Loki falls silent. The staff hovers and trembles a hair's bredth away from Eliot, and the god is simply unnervingly silent for quite some time after the wolf finishes speaking.

Suddenly, Eliot is thrown further backwards by a heavy blast of Loki's magic, into the trees behind him. ]

Hired?

Then why not simply confront me? Fight me? Why deceive me and tear me to pieces from the inside? Or is such cruelty merely common practice in this realm?

[Not much chance to answer that when he was suddenly blasted backwards in an explosion of power. Eliot flew through the air until he came to a premature stop against the trunk of a tree. A soft groan was uttered as he tried to pick himself up again, but something was broken in him and he barely managed to regain his footing by leaning heavily against the trunk.]

I'm sorry, Loki...

[Red spittle painted his lips, but he tried to ignore all that as he struggled to level a sorrowful gaze on the god.]

I didn't know how else to do it. I can't fight you...

I know you'll never forgive me... so I ran. [The werewolf closed his eyes and breathed in raggedly.] I'm sorry...

You didn't fight me because you knew you couldn't win.

[ The forest surrounding them is quickly spreading that blaze as Loki advances again, losing his control over his temper just as fast as the fire spreads. He doesn't care if he destroys the whole thing. ]

So you decided on a different path. You made me believe your sweet words, your gentle touches, your kindness ... and now- you've made me such a fool, for falling for such an act.

[ He stops in front of Eliot again, staff trembling as heavily as his angered and laboured breathing. A moment later, he begins to laugh, that unhinged upward curl of his lips making itself known again. ]

I should have known ... I should have known it was all a lie.

[Eliot opened his eyes to look at Loki again with a pained gaze. He was sorry that his deception had hurt the trickster so deeply.]

It wasn't a lie... not all of it.

[Believing he was walking the last legs of his life, Eliot didn't want to be bringing pain to others even as he left, especially not the god he grew to care for. He reached out with a hand in an attempt to stroke the trickster's face.]

It wasn't a lie... which was why I had to go. I wasn't supposed to care, but I did. I do. And I knew it'd end like this.

[As blood welled up in his throat, he started coughing and the hand on Loki's face dropped to clutch at his chest. Broken ribs and punctured lungs at least. Yeah, he wasn't going to last long.]

I'm sorry... [He said again when he cleared his breath enough to breathe. Falling forward to his knees, he bowed his head and closed his eyes.] Go on... kill this mongrel who hurt you so badl— [His words dissolved into another fit of bloody coughs.]

[ It really didn't mean anything, if only part of it was a lie. It was still a lie to begin with, and a great one. Loki feels all the more foolish for not being able to see it sooner, cursing himself for allowing the walls to crumble down.

The god flinches at the touch, meaning to turn away from it entirely. But he has longed for Eliot's touch for so long, no matter how badly he wants to tell himself to get away, his body does not obey. Curse it.

But he does step back when Eliot collapses against him. Idly, he wonders why he hasn't just obliterated Eliot to tiny pieces already, but perhaps he wanted him to suffer more. Suffer just as Loki is, hurting as much as Loki is.

But ...

Loki is suddenly screaming at him, backhanding Eliot across the face and kicking him until he's flat on the ground. He steps over him, crouching down on the ground beside him and grasping the wolf's shirt collar. The god's expression is nothing short of vengeful-- or it would, if not for the tears welling in his eyes. ]

How dare you do this to me, Eliot Spencer! You persist with your lies even now, as I'm about to kill you for breaking my heart, for what? Pity? Do you dare try to convince me once more of your lies as you bleed to death beneath me?

You deceived me, mongrel. I have been deceived for well over a thousand years from those who claimed to love me, and I had been so foolish to believe you were different when you are just as cruel to me as they were. I will never forgive you.

[ Something very strange to say even as his hands are already casting healing spells. ]

[Yeah, he deserved that. Even as he fell back from the hard blow to his face, Eliot only had the words 'I'm sorry' murmuring over and over again on his lips. He was sorry for having brought this pain to the god. It was a cruel thing for him to have done and only brought to light that no matter what he did, he was a bad man.

He deserved everything Loki was throwing at him now, bad karma followed bad people after all.

It wasn't done on purpose, but years of survival instincts had him curl protectively over his broken ribs into a fetal ball while those kicks rained down upon him. They broke him further, but what did it matter? Nothing hurt as much as the tears he saw streaming from the trickster's eyes. Or the words that fell angrily on him from the vengeful god. He brought a great god to this... He was so sorry.

And then those last words fell and Eliot actually flinched from the hatred carried within them. He knew that would be the case, never had a moment of doubt that it would be so, but to hear Loki spitting them at him in his dying moment...

It broke him.

His vision blurred in a way that had nothing to do with pain and when he closed his eyes, tears fell into the creases in the corner of them. He had no more breath in his collapsed lungs, but he had to say this. To tell to the god the one thing that was true without lies to pollute it.

It was a miracle that his lungs felt strong enough give it breath, unbeknownst to him the reason.]

I love you.

[ He stops, suddenly. His breathing is ragged and unsteady, his grip on Eliot's shirt collar ultimately failing and letting go entirely. Those words ...

Loki doesn't know anymore. He no longer believes any word that leaves Eliot's lips. But even now they sound so honest and true, and yet he must refuse to believe them. Eliot had hurt him, wounded him so deeply, more than anyone on any realm ever had before. The wolf is nothing more than a great liar. And wasn't that ironic? ]

I hate you.

[ His words are said with such anger and spite, he's not sure if he believes them himself.

He stands, rising unsteadily to his feet. After a deep breath, he summons the very object Eliot had been after, the small cube of power in it's protective covering. With a snarl he casts it to the side, taking out a few trees in the process before it sinks into the ground. ]

There, retrievalist. Take it.

[ Then he turns, and begins to walk away, unable to hold back the stream of tears. ]

Clearly it means more to you than I ever did.

[The clear opposite of his words made Eliot flinch again, which was when he realized that he was no longer dying. Loki had... it made no sense, but the god had healed him.

Despite the pain Eliot caused, despite how he betrayed the god's trust and broke his immortal heart, the trickster had chosen to heal him and give him what he wanted instead of finish him off. How did one pay a debt owed that deeply?

Especially if no matter what he said or did now will ever be believed again? Hesitantly Eliot pushed himself back up onto his knees, still feeling too week to gain his feet. He glanced over his shoulder to where the cube glowed in the distance, then back in the direction where Loki was walking.

One was the job, the other, the man he just told he fell in love with.

He knew which direction his choice went, except... was there a point when Loki obviously and rightfully hated him?]

Loki.... I'm... I'm sorry. [Believing it was for the best, he got to his feet and went after the cube. He made the decision, he will just have to live with the consequences.]

[ And even now, he still goes after the cube. Loki supposes it was better to expect that. Better to be reminded once again that he wasn't worth fighting for.

He's not sure what he would have done if Eliot had, if the wolf had followed him and called for him to come back, if he had begged for forgiveness. But this ... this is easier. Eliot is nothing more than a liar, and now he can have his precious cube and complete his objective and be done with him forever.

Forever isn't as long to a mortal as it is to a god.

Loki says nothing as he walks away. He doesn't run, doesn't cower, doesn't curl in on himself and crawl away pitifully so Eliot could mock him (because surely, he would.) No, the god holds his head high, back straight, and save for the tears and sobs he cannot control he carries on forward. He will carry on. He'll turn back into that great and terrifying villain he had been before Eliot, and he'll go destroy the next city he comes across, and Eliot can have that on his shoulders as well.

He just ... really wishes he had known better in the first place. It wouldn't hurt as much if he had known better than to get so intimately involved with another.

At least, now, he never will again. ]

[Loki hadn't hitched the cube far from where they were at all, and the unnatural blue glow stood such stark contrast against the burning orange of the forest that Eliot could easily pick the item out.

Standing there looking down at it, the cube looked so small there by his feet. He was once warned to not touch it while it was activated, whatever that meant. It did not look 'activated' now and when he picked it up, he could easily wrap his fingers around it. The item was small in the paw of his hand and weighted strangely light yet with a nice sturdy mass at the same time.

And it suddenly felt immensely heavy when he saw that this, this was the reason things reached such a point between Loki and him. This heavy glowing cube.

He couldn't stand letting it end like this.

Reaching a decision, Eliot arced his arm back and heaved the cube in a perfect pitch across the space of the burning forest. It sailed through the air to land with a solid thump not more than a few feet in front of the god of mischief. Good thing Loki had decided to walk after all, even being a werewolf, he could hurl the thing only so far.]

That isn't what I want!!!

[He strode after Loki then, his hurried steps still slower than normal because while Loki was generous to heal him from death, the hurt trickster hadn't been that generous. And it didn't matter as long as it still allowed him to catch up, catch the trickster by the shoulders and turn him around.]

Damnit, Loki. That... that's just a job. One that I forfeited when I fuckin' left. You are the one I want... the one thing I can't have because I started our relationship off on lies.

But the things I said to ya... those nights we're together... They weren't lies. I couldn't... I...

[He deflated and his hands dropped from Loki's shoulders, letting the trickster go as he stared down at the ground.]

I know you're hatin' my guts now, don't even know why I'm still standin'....

I just—... I wanted—... I had to tell you that.

[ He nearly flinches as the cube suddenly thuds into the ground a few steps away. Loki is confused; wasn't that what Eliot wanted from him all this time? So why was he throwing it away?

Surely he wasn't giving it back to him. He just happened to throw it in his direction.

He stops just for a moment, hesitating in confusion, but before he can take another step Eliot is shouting behind him. It ... wasn't what he wanted? Then why-- and then he is grabbed, turned around, and it's all Loki can do to shut his eyes tight and turn his head away, refusing to look into the eyes of the man who had hurt him so deeply.

He doesn't want to listen to him ... but his words sound so convincing. But were they truths? ]

Eliot ...

No, you-- you went into this to hurt me, you didn't care about me at all. It doesn't matter if you changed your mind now, you still ... you made me feel like nothing more than a casualty in your little treasure hunt.

[ Then he finally does look up, tears steadily falling. ]

How do I know I can trust you now?

[Eliot was ashamed like he never was before. Because it was true, he had started off with the intention that Loki's feelings would be no more than casualty for the purpose of getting near the god for his job. But then his own feelings got involved and things changed.

If he hadn't been though, if his own emotions hadn't overruled his lack of morality... Eliot's self-loathing rose up to choke him like bile in the back of his throat.]

You... You can't. [He answered truthfully even as he raised his arms up to embrace the man he hurt. He held onto the god for as long as the other would let him, one hand raising to comb through those messy strands and press Loki's head to his shoulder.]

I've done nothing to earn your trust... I know that. [His voice, emotional logged, whispered by Loki's ear.] But I want to. I know I don't deserve it... but I want to prove myself again if you'll let me.

[He bowed his head and touched its side lightly against Loki's. His whole body was tensed as if waiting for another much deserved blow.] I'm sorry.

[ It's true. He can't trust Eliot. He did, he trusted him with everything, despite everyone he'd ever trusted an inch turning on him just the same way Eliot had. It was a foolish mistake he was never going to make again, though it was one he never should have made to begin with.

If he can't trust Eliot, why is he still here? Why doesn't he just leave, forget about him and move on to greater goals?

Loki stands frozen still, as Eliot's arms move around him. He does allow his head to be guided to the other's shoulder, because even though he knows he has no reason to be here anymore, he cannot deny that he longs for Eliot's touch again. The fabric of the wolf's shirt sleeve dampens with the god's tears, as he takes his time in considering everything.

Is Eliot truly sorry? Should he allow him this chance?

...

It's with great reluctance that Loki lifts his head, finally. He says nothing yet, silent as he reaches to gently pry Eliot's hands from him, and then pushing away at his chest so that he may step back. ]

I need time.

[ His voice is quiet, still shaken with soft sobs. ]

Give me time to think. When I make my decision ... if I choose to give you another chance, then I will find you. Do not search for me.

[With similar reluctance, Eliot let the god pull away from his arms. He understood the need though and while he would rather be given an answer now, he knew this wasn't about him.

Slowly, he took a step back as if this was the first step to giving the god his space.]

Alright. [Although he wouldn't know where to look for the god anyway. In their relationship, it had always been the god finding him, never the other way round.]

I guess this is good bye. [Although the gaze he looked at Loki with added the words he didn't dare to voice: For now.]

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the betrayal/redemption meme

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