tfln

[drunktexting]

the drill, you know it

Comments

[shokola]

Sorting means different don't stand out so much either though, if you think about it

[Pause]

Sort of
Not sorting

Back home they know a yank from blocks away, here I God a talk first

[Damnit, voice recognition.]

Have to talk first
Technology's not making me feel too welcome

1

[criticalmass]

But those what I'm best at!

1.

[mumistheword]

As a matter of fact, it would feel rather uncomfortable, I imagine. They would get far too soft and sticky.

Nick Valentine | Fallout 4

[robocopper]

1. Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?

2. He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...

3. Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

[oddbod]

apparently those are all the rage with my stepcousins
i got them books instead
thought you'd approve

[bringbackgold]

I think it followed me here.

3.

[cuteemergency]

that sounds like way too much thought for eating dinosaur chicken nuggets.

[wizzardly]

technically any place that has them. I sort of have a way with locks.

[heckblazer]

Definitely not working hard enough, then. 4 or 5? That wounds me, truly. What're the other 3?

John Winchester | Supernatural

[papawinchacha]

1. It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!

2. Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.

3. If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

[redsoles]

[It took Cor a few attempts, the first one resulting on him dropping his phone on his face and busting a lip. Being vertical is too much work right now.]

You're one to talk. Are you really that ill from one night of drinking? Lightweight.

[underachievement]

So the empathy thing works with animals too.

Leon S. Kennedy | Resident Evil

[loreal]

1. I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away

2. drunk...on the white house tour... security is staring. this will not end well.

3. Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't

[wizzardly]

just because I can appreciate a good salty mound of potato baked all hot in its jacket doesn't mean any of those other things! and anyway
Anyway I'm entirely too hungover for this conversation

3.

[stayclosetome]

I'm not sure. Do you want me to call you a taxi?

[catchacold]

You too?

The way I do or you got trickery up your sleeves?

Percival Graves | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

[assertorem]

1. I'm just going to back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

2. The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's

3. that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something

4. When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office

5. TEXT HIM.

[zee_zatara]

Bad decisions made regarding professional colleagues and my personal life.

It would be easier to stop making these mistakes if I actually knew anyone who wasn't a colleague.

Maybe I should try Tinder again. I mean, the chances of it matching me up with a necromancer looking for sacrifices again are pretty low, right?

[mumistheword]

Which guy?

[ That is not a no, he'd just like to know. ]

[stayclosetome]

he happened to be a fan! lucky, right?

[renegadejedi]

[Being pleasant isn't something he's well-versed in.]

I see. Your consideration is appreciated.

You think?

Arthur | Inception

[alittlespecificity]

1. I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job.

2. Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

3. You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar.

4. You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your shoes, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.

5. Or text him!

[crack]

Haha. What kind of phone do you have? Voice recognition can be so temperamental on Android devices.

I've never actually been to Louisiana.

[padadin]

I always feel better when I know you are all safe. Which I know it isn't something to hope for when it comes to Keith, maybe Lance too, but I know you and Hunk can be more careful than that.

[itistolaugh]

im not! i feel GREAT. even got up early and went for a run.
and you can change the subject but you can't change the fact that you want to fuck a potato