tfln

[drunktexting]

the drill, you know it

Comments

[nevercomefirst]

but what if you're my drunken Cinderella!???!

[engaged to VICTOR, that means, like, hardly anything]

[photogaffe]

i'm sorry for doubting you

jericho ( original )

[novembercities]

1. i want blood.
2. you act like tequila is some sort of sex juice.
3. i assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
4. fuck you and fuck your stupid hat.
5. ( text him! )

[notaflashfan]

Am I really that interesting? I'm just like every other guy.

I could not resist.

[newrecipe]

I'm currently considering whether or not it's possible to contract food poisoning simply by laying eyes on something.

[newrecipe]

Forever.

[buyeverything]

why the hell would I swing at you
What the hell even happened?

[nevercomefirst]

I've been stuck with you too many years now to let you down <3

1 -- couldn't resist

[heatandclockwork]

okay jade ignoring the really obvious issues there
ive got an important question
like i know that youre probably trying to keep this under wraps
like some top secret spy shit
but two things
a i have more clearance in my toe than a baby trying to crawl through the front door of like... some massive assholes front door
but more importantly im like the antithesis of santas littlle helpers
hohohoho fuckers im here to destory any piece of wrapping paper that gets in my way
so yknow
theres no use trying to hide it
anyway here it comes
dont be surprised
dont blink
shits coming faster than any uh basketpuck tossed by the big man in the biggest game
was the snow yellow

[spoooky]

You told me you liked my lycanthrope theories.

[callsigned]

Sorry

Expensive vodka

[iamthelordthygod]

I have seen it at work, yes. Makes for some peculiar drunks.

I'm not quite sure it would complement my temperament. Leo says I'm rather morose while imbibing.

[hellion_king]

Well that's just BS. I am one tough cookie.

[k2so]

Oi!...okay I deserved that. Perhaps.

That pleases me.


Back to your original statement, what angered you today?

[pretendtoneedme]

His're good without robot alien magic in 'em. I think we've run out of that just lying around. Thank christ.

You know when. And I can't help my face, it just sits that way!

[rekt]

it involves a lack of indoor plumbing and someone who thinks theyre hilarious

[betweenthedevil]

If that's what you want. [Sorin handed him over to Alex because that's where Egil can learn the most. Egil can pout all he likes, but Alex isn't budging, the clipped tones of his accent making him sound all the more stern. There's no need to fight here, which Egil might see if he ever bothers to give them half a chance.]

I brought you here to teach you something. If you want to jump ship the next time we dock, then that's up to you. I don't care. But you need to pull your weight while you're here. Understood?

[buyeverything]

So are you telling me I shouldn't cancel this purchase.

[clobbers]

Honestly, you're overqualified, but you maybe visiting should be on your to-do list? That was... well, a really really nice view.

[cuteshit]

Dude, when are you not? There's like twelve outside your house...

[nevercomefirst]

I dunno that sounds entirely up to your sister

also way to not be worried about your Yaai, I'm telling on you she'll be outraged

[saetta]

And contrary to appearances, I am shameless. Indulge me.

3.

[kissmysass]

I don't want to talk about,
and there are about a dozen reasons why you don't remember.
Be glad it was just your arm, Tony, because next time we might not be so... 'lucky'.

Sombra | Overwatch | OTA

[asustame]

1. Three people drank on 'never have I ever had sex in a a tractor.

2. She told me I was "cool as shit" and that she "wishes she could take a portion of my tiny ass and attach her to hers."

3.You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shock

4.Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because "only good things can happen."

[latebloomingeros]

Oh, God. Did you?