tfln

[drunktexting]

the drill, you know it

Comments

1

[dangernoodle]

One of the bouncers recognized you. I think that's why.

2

[generalginger]

In that case, get on with it.

Rydia | Final Fantasy IV | OTA

[blessedmaiden]

1. Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.

2. That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon

3. For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches

4. Monster slaying and bbq. S/he sure knows how to make a girl feel special.

5. Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

[tigered]

no, it was an actual suit of armour
i don't know how he made it onto the ice

5 cause you might as well have one of each

[imperfectphoto]

So I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

[padadin]

It SHOULD be priority number one.

3.

[wizzardly]

Pornography doesn't count as an explanation!

2

[supravietui]

i know you're being sarcastic or at least i really hope you are, but you're somehow getting creepier.

[shokola]

He don't start fights or nothing, not real dust ups, but
Being offensive sorta comes too natural to him
And personal like, not just un-pc or something

AkaRed - Boukenger Vs Super Sentai/Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger - OTA

[inheritstheredsouls]

1) He showed up to the location wearing nothing but an antique suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.

2) There's a picture of you on Facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you face-planted off that guy's shoulders.

3) He got 20 stitches. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

4) ((text him!))

[aucou]

Glitter is harder to get out than bloodstains, my dear.

[ But she's not completely heartless. ]

Packaging tape. Loop some around your hand, sticky side out, then brush off your skin like a lint roller.

[imperfectphoto]

The research of 'I don't always do stupid shit' department of the 'Prompto is great' University.

b

[dangernoodle]

Wait. What happened last night?

1

[inventivepaladin]

Is there a reason why you're not expecting aliens to attack at this point?

Also, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS????

[libraelementia]

Your friend must be exceptional. Did he manage this by himself or with someone's assistance?

[in_the_wind]

[That's why he's classy.]

That sounds really good. I'm not gonna stop you if you wanna do it anyway.

otabek altin | yuri!!! on ice

[bringbackgold]

1. Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
2. we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
3. Woke up with two cats staring at me.
4. text him

[catchacold]

Says the man who sexted me out of nowhere.

[tigered]

you got drunk, dragged me to an arcade, then started questioning all of my life choices

[padadin]

And what is it this time?

[latebloomingeros]

Please tell me he didn't try any jumps with that much extra weight on him D:

Natsumi Hikari - Kamen Rider Decade - OTA

[summerorange]

1) Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.

2) I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

3) I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.

4) ((text her!))

5

[inventivepaladin]

I can fix the robots while in my pajamas if I want to!

tyrell wellick / mr robot

[crack]

ONE. Update: broke a window. Glass everywhere.
TWO. How odd. My phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible.
THREE. What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on one's birthday?
FOUR. Is bondage not considered vanilla?
FIVE. text him!

[tigered]

i think i saw a few quad attempts in there