FMyLife the MEME

[memeswearhouse]

image sauce

RULES ARE SIMPLE.

✏ Click here
✏ Pick an FML that suits your tastes. (Or don't go random. I ain't gonna judge)
✏ Post with your character and that FML.
✏ That's the scenario.
✏ Respond to others.
✏ LAMENT LIFE
✏ Let the crack flow

Comments

Flint Lockwood ☢ Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs ☢ OTA

[journalnaming]

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

[sciose]

...that's not very tactful.

Charles Xavier | X-Men: First Class

[butwedonot]

[ #16204397 ] Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

[doctorbatman]

Oh OW. Are you alright? Got ice on it?

Marty McFly | Back to the Future

[thepoweroflove]

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

[gottathinkbigtobebig]

That's so lame! Sometimes I think teachers just enjoy torturing us, it's like they have nothing better to do.

Toni Stark | MCU (AU) | OTA

[iam_ironwoman]

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

[vaticancameo]

It must have been impressive. I find that members of the judicial system don't generally swear in court, as a rule.

I must admit to some curiosity.

david stutler | the sorcerer's apprentice | ota

[merlinian]

Today, I had to perform a lab in front of my bio class. I was mixing chemicals, when someone made a comment saying "What if it blows up?." Hearing it, I gave a 2 minute explanation about how it was impossible for it to explode. Two seconds later, the entire beaker exploded in my face. FML

Jonathan Morris | Castlevania | OTA

[okei]

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

Dr. McNinja | Adventures of Dr McNinja | OTA

[doctorbatman]

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

[makemyday]

Aren't the laws of human nature wonderful?
Sounds like something from a really very slapstick cartoon, if you ask me, though. You sure you weren't dreaming?

Clark Kent || Smallville

[ex_doeswhatsright717]

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

Thor Odinson | Marvel

[thehammerismypenis]

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

Re: Thor Odinson | Marvel

[battlemaiden]

This is what you get for living in Midgard.

[iam_ironwoman]

That happened to me once, but with less beard and more ass.

First time I've ever enjoyed firing someone.

Loki Laufeyson | MCU

[bloodbrothers]

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help.

Re: Loki Laufeyson | MCU

[battlemaiden]

Your rubber ducky is adorable!

Stiles Stilinski | Teen Wolf | OTA

[abetteryoda]

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

Britta Perry | Community

[britta_ftw]

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

Heinz Doofenshmirtz | Phineas and Ferb

[big_laundry]

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

[doesntdomuch]

[So he's assuming that they "forgot" you there and said they were going to pick you up within three years?]

Kagamine Rin | Vocaloid (SPICE!)

[zestful]

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

[afoolsjourney]

Ouch. But at least they didn't find out what it was, right?

Bella Swan | Twilight

[wantstosparkle]

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

[manicpixiedreamgirl]

I told you to wear a turtleneck today.

[Why do you never listen?]

You should know to never doubt me, Bells.

Klaus | The Vampire Diaries

[asuma]

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

Alaric Saltzman | The Vampire Diaries

[ex_ric243]

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

Shaun Mason ☢ Newsflesh Trilogy

[adaptare]

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfulls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

Odo | Star Trek: DS9

[constableodo]

Today, I found a place to regenerate after a long day of investigation.

It was a washing machine.

Scorpius Malfoy | Harry Potter

[unyieldingebony]

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

Re: Scorpius Malfoy | Harry Potter

[constableodo]

[Oh, that's something for Odo. He's not a chief of security for nothing.] You have a stalker.

Harley Quinn | Suicide Squad (DCnU)

[trickily]

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Re: Harley Quinn | Suicide Squad (DCnU)

[constableodo]

[Odo sympathizes with the cop here. He's laughing at you.]

Kira Ford | Power Rangers: Dino Thunder

[pteradactyl]

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

Bard DeMinstrel | Etrian Odyssey OC

[much_rejoicing]

Today, I got kicked out of the guild.

Again. FML.

I give them three days before they remember they need me.

Lucifel | El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron

[lucitan]

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

[avarice_alive]

...You don't look fat.