crack pairing

An unusual relationship of any kind of fandom (i.e. books, television shows, movies, ect.) that is unlikely to happen.

Randomly take two characters… they don’t have to know each other, they don’t have to show ANY signs of a relationship, and hook them together. That is a crack pairing.

We all know them. Fandoms have fostered these little gems of shipping since the early days, and now, they can even be serious contenders in even the most hostile of shipping wars. Maybe they're absolutely ridiculous and only "for the lulz." Perhaps they make perfect sense...if you squint. Whatever the case may be, these so-called "crack" pairings are not canon and they're nowhere near as popular in fandom as the big fanon pairings.

Most of the time.

Of course, it's important to note that a lot of the time in RP, pairings are always crack pairings. Especially crossover ships, which canon purists would deride purely for being impossible. Still, in memes, that's less likely to happen because people either stick with canon ships, fanon ships, or close CR because of the lack of opportunities for development that games offer.

Not here. This meme is for ALL your ridiculousness, all your high school fangirl dreams, and just plain not being sorry for your ships. Think these characters would be cute together? Go for it. That character have adorable icons and that all you know about them? Ship it, by all means. Here, the reasons come after the desire.

RULES
- Comment with your character and preferences. If you want, you can include a one sentence or so blurb about your character. But blank comments are fine.
- Tag to others.
- RNG for prompts. Prompts cannibalized from random memes.

Sweet
1. Can't deny it - you've tried to run from your feelings for so long and you can't do it anymore. It's time that you show the object of your affection exactly how you feel. Hopefully you don't lose everything in the process!
2. First time - it's your first time making love together. Is it awkward? Do you go all out or is it spur of the moment?
3. Accidental - you didn't actually mean to confess or kiss. They overheard you or it was an accidental kiss. Maybe you were just really drunk and let it slip!
4. Close as can be - you just want to make love and you've found a spot where it's just you and your partner, however you want it to be.
5. Happily ever after - somehow, you've made it work and you're both happy together, even if it meant you had to run away together.
6. Appreciation - show appreciation for your lover! With words, a look, or whatever your choice way to display affection is!
7. Cuddling - nothing wrong with a day of cuddling...
8. Vacation - you're on a vacation! Wherever you want to be. Road trip, amusement park, Grand Canyon, etc.
9. Family - you're visiting family! Maybe they find out about your relationship, maybe they already know, or however you want to play it out! Maybe you've got news you're starting a family by getting pregnant, adopting, or even getting a new pet.
10. Acceptance - someone who disapproved of your relationship before suddenly approves. How's that feel to you and your lover?
11. Surprise - you've planned a surprise! What is it?
12. Date - first date, second date, hundredth date, etc. What are you doing for it?
13. Reunited → it's been awhile since you've seen each other and nothing can ruin this moment.
14. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Angst
1. Conflict - you've just had a fight with your lover over your relationship or how you handle it. Can you find it in yourselves to forgive each other?
2. Cheated - your lover has cheated on you and you need to confront them about their reasons why and if you can work it out.
3. Found out - you've been found out by someone close to you and they're less than thrilled with your relationship.
4. Disgust - though they play along with it, they're secretly disgusted by the relationship they have with you and it finally comes out into the light.
5. Guilt - one of you is feeling guilty over your relationship, knowing it can never be truly normal or more than a secret.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Comfort
1. Soothing touch - what better way to sooth your lover than to make love to them and show them that no matter what other people say, you're not going anywhere.
2. Fight for you - whoever has found out about your relationship is trying to hurt your lover and you're not going to let them.
3. Won't let you go - you need your lover to realize that you won't let them go, no matter what.
4. Back together - you broke up for a bit, but whatever it is between you two, you can't stay apart.
5. Injured - your lover was injured because of your relationship and it's time to patch them up.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Twisted
1. Forced - you know your partner isn't interested in you like this, but you keep them going along with the relationship no matter what. Coercion, blackmail, whatever it takes.
2. Won't take no - their lips might say no, but you're not listening.
3. Control - you've given them some kind of potion to get your love interest to love you in return and they have to do whatever you say.
4. Recorded - you're not really interested in this forbidden love affair, but you must do it or you'll face some tough consequences.
5. Insult - you're cornered by those who disapprove of your relationship, hearing how filthy you are.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Sexy
1. Rough - you want it rough and hard tonight. Bites, scratches, bruises, etc.
2. Toys - you want to try some props tonight... toys or fuzzy handcuffs.
3. Bondage - more extreme. You're tied up, used, forced to orgasm, whatever.
4. Make up - make up sex is the best sex.
5. Public - you're feeling a little wild so why not a blowjob under the tablecloth in a restaurant or sex in the car?
6. Interrupted - oh yes, oh yes, oh--who the hell is that watching us?!
7. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Ending
1. Left alone - you woke up to your lover trying to slip away in the night because of the strain of the relationship. Do you let them go or try and fight for it?
2. Torn apart - others are keeping you apart after they found out about your relationship, giving you only minimal contact. What do you do?
3. Ending fight - the argument has turned dirty and ends with one of you storming out.
4. Parting ways - both of you have decided to part ways. It's just so much easier.
5. Always love you - though you'll always love each other, maybe it's time the relationship goes back to being strictly platonic. It would be easier... or maybe that's just how one of you feels.
6. Other - is there another scene you'd like to play out? Want to combine something? Do it here!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[bring me literally anyone. let's party.]

[Literally anyone, are you sure? Also, I have no idea how this would play out, rip.]

[holy shit holy shit I've so been wanting to write these two together.

THAT'S A GOOD DAMNED QUESTION. Well, it could definitely start with Junkrat clumsily flirting with him like a jackass.]

[Sure! Hanzo probably won't even recognize it for flirting tho lbr. We could even do an AU if you'd like, but I'm cool with any canon point!]

[no omg I love the idea of Junkrat attempting to get with Hanzo and just... failing all over the place because he's too dumb to know how to actually flirt with another human being. He'll get it eventually, though...

Speaking of, on the off chance he DOES actually succeed, what flavor do you take your Junkrat: cis or trans? (I tend to play a lot of trans!Junkrat, because it's near and dear to my heart, but if you'd be more comfortable with cisrat, I'd be cool writing that, too.)]

[Hanzo is the most hopeless at flirting anyways. They can be useless at it together lol.

I like Junkrat in any flavor, so your choice! Also, I have played Hanzo as a trans guy before, so if that's something that would appeal to you as well, just let me know, but I do default him to cis.

If you have an idea, you can start, or I can in a few hours when I'm on my laptop!]

[Where do you wanna set this? Maybe it's an off day at some Overwatch barracks or something, some undetermined point after everybody is back together doing stuff?

Also, hmm... how about transrat and ciszo this time? Maybe we can switch in the future!]

[That sounds good. Or maybe they meet somewhere away from Overwatch? I cant honestly imagine Junkrat willingly joining Overwatch, so maybe he's a prisoner? Or just hanging out making himself a general pest around base OW wants to take care of?

Also, transrat and ciszo sounds great!]

[I actually have a huge set of headcanons regarding Junkrat and Overwatch and how he'd get involved with them, fff. Or, hell, we could always just jamjar them somewhere. I was just trying to think of a situation that would conveniently put them in the same place.]

[I'm more than happy to follow your lead, if you have an idea! I've got nothing lol. Feel free to set them up how you wish, and we can start from there? Hanzo was pretty much always going to pursue Genji when Genji goes back to Overwatch, so it would make sense that he's there as well. He might not be the most beloved person (he did try to murder Genji, after all, and Genji strikes me as being pretty well-liked, even before shit went down with OW.]

If Jamison "Junkrat" Fawkes had even the slightest bit of sense in his head, he'd likely never be headed where he is right now. He would've long-since turned around, maybe had a nice cup of tea, and reconsidered his life choices.

But he's Junkrat, and he never second-guesses himself, and he's going to flirt with Hanzo Shimada, because no one has stopped him and he's a grown-ass man. Honestly, no one in Overwatch even really talks to him on a regular basis-- not even since he officially became one of them. Of course, he's tried to be friendly-- chatted with the other members on and off, praised them, but he always seems to be shot down.

And then there's Hanzo. Hanzo, who is... well, he's attractive, first and foremost. Junkrat noticed it almost immediately when he'd joined the team... which had, subsequently, led to him attempting to inform him of such, and promptly being ignored. It isn't that Hanzo shuts him down, or rejects him-- it's more like he doesn't even realize Junkrat is trying to lavish affection on him. Terribly frustrating, that.

And, attractiveness aside, they're both outcasts, even within the group. The other members mostly seem to get along, to a degree; at least, none of them demand that the other shut up quite as frequently as it happens to him. But Hanzo is quiet, reserved-- he keeps to himself, and the other members seem perfectly content with that, giving him sideways glances and avoiding being alone with him, when possible. And what good is being an outcast if you can't band together with the other outcasts?

He hums as he steps outside, where he happens to know that Hanzo has been working on his archery; which is something else that Junkrat finds weird about him. Not weird in a bad way-- well, maybe not. He wonders if he could strap a bomb to one of those arrows. Imagine the long-distance damage they could do!

He clears his throat loudly, poking his chest out, stretched to his full height as he leans against the door frame.

Hanzo had heard Junkrat approach - impossible to mistake that jingling and the distinctive thump of his peg leg for anybody else - but paid him no mind, continuing to target the training bots with ruthless ease. He took down three before crossing the range to pick up his arrows and check each one for damage before returning it to the quiver.

"What can I do for you, then, Fawkes-san?" He asked, without turning to look at Junkrat. He stoops to yank an arrow free of a tangle of wire and shredded metal, and it comes free with only a little bit of a protest. He finally turned, the arrow in his right hand, bow in his left. He's wearing all black today, except his scarf is a brilliant yellow, its patterns too subtle to see from so far away.

He crosses back to his mark on the dirt and nocks the arrow to the string before lifting and drawing his bow in a single smooth motion.

For a beat, Junkrat just... watches him, noting how smooth his movements are-- he doesn't really have the vocabulary to describe it, even mentally, but he knows that it's very, very appealing to watch. He traces the curve of the other man's muscle with his eyes, making no effort to hide it whatsoever.

"Well, y'see-- I was just wonderin' if you were busy today! Yanno, since we've got a lil' bit a' downtime an' all!"

Hanzo pauses and this time looks at Junkrat, bow still drawn fully. After a moment, he relaxes his grip and eases the tension on the string. Then he frowns, just a little. "I am busy," he said, gaze flickering to the training bots, the trailing 'can't you see that?' unspoken but more than apparent. Then he pulls the string back fully again and releases. The arrow streaks across the distance in a flash of blue light and one of the bots crumple.

Surely Junkrat something other to do than just hang around, right? Not that he really bothered Hanzo. Hanzo was more than capable of shooting while being talked to, and he was standing still besides.

"... er. Right! Yeah!" His frame slinks down a little bit, curling in on itself; and then Hanzo straight-up murders one of those bots, and Junkrat swallows hard.

Oh, god. This is gonna be harder than he thought.

"Well, uh. Yer not gonna be busy all day, right? Y'gotta take a break sometime, I bet!"

"No, I will probably break for lunch," he says, watching Junkrat. He doesn't look away even as he draws and fires again, eliminating another bot with ease. "Why do you ask?" Hanzo draws again, but this time watches his target. He fires three shots in quick succession, taking out three bots, then keeps firing.

It's almost like he's making this difficult on purpose.

"Well, yanno! You an' I, we got a lot in common, yeah? I mean, far as the rest a' this team's concerned, we're both, er... mmmmaybe not as well-liked as we wanna be." This is not the conversation he'd planned in his head. Goddammit.

He coughs.

"And, anyways, I couldn't help but notice that you're, well... uhh. What's the word I'm lookin' for here?" Cool? Handsome? Mysterious? Those are all really stupid-sounding, and he discards them immediately. "Eeehhh... well, yanno. Y'could string my bow, if y'know what I'm sayin'!"

Hanzo frowned, just a little. "Are you not capable of stringing your own bow? I was not aware you even knew how to hold a bow. Also, I do not care if I am well-liked or not. I am not here to make friends. I am here for my brother." Genji was the only reason he had come, and the only reason he was staying.

He lowered his bow and turned to face Junkrat. He did not know the young man very well. He knew of him, had heard Genji speak of him with distrust in his voice, but they had not spoken much at all.

"I-- urgh!" He only manages the sound sound before he breaks down into a growl of frustration--

-- and then he tries to collect himself, tittering nervously.

"I-it was a manner a' speakin', mate! Yanno, a, uh, euphemism!" Is that the right word? He hopes so. "My point is, uh, you an' I, well-- you just got your lil' brother, I think, and the only buddy I got in here is ol' Roadhog, but I'm payin' him ta stick around, yanno? So I was thinkin', maybe you an' me could spend a lil' time together!"

Hanzo frowned, more than a little, eyebrows drawing together. He watches Junkrat move, shifting his weight from foot to foot, fingers jumbling together, shoulders moving in a way that probably shouldn't really be possible. "It is not as if you were locked up here. You could leave, whenever you wish. I am sure Winston would be more than happy to send you on a mission." Mostly to get him out of the base. Genji had mentioned something about Junkrat being a thief, filching any manner of things including food.

Another cry of frustration, and his fingers tangle into his patchy, scorched hair.

"... what I'm askin' you, mate, is if you'd maybe wanna spend a lil' time with me! Yanno, together. Just us. 'Cause, yanno, f' I'm bein' honest here--"

He finally straightens himself up, and points at Hanzo almost accusingly.

"... you're downright fine! There, there, that clear enough for ya?"

Hanzo's frown went from serious to downright confused. It was bad enough, parsing out Junkrat's accent into something he could understand, but then he had to go around throwing in colloquialisms that he didn't know. "Yes, I am well," he said finally, sounding unsure for the first time. Where was Genji or Lena when he needed them... They were always able to explain McCree's strange sayings, maybe they could decipher Junkrat's as well.

Junkrat literally buried his face in his hands.

"Rrrrr... I mean--" He picks his face back up, laughing in frustration. He huffs, steeling himself, trying to think of the best way to properly explain what he's feeling. "I mean-- yanno, like, attractive! Nice ta look at!" And probably do other things with, but he doesn't wanna pile everything on at once and scare the poor guy off.

"Oh. Thank you." Why couldn't he have just said that at the beginning, instead of beating around the bush and being unclear? Hanzo turns, refocusing his attention on the training bots and starts firing arrows again.

... well. At least he's managed to convey that, even if it didn't have quite the gravitas he'd hoped for.

"... so... you wanna... do somethin' sometime, maybe?" Has he... still not made his intentions clear enough for him? Is he seriously gonna be this dense about this?

"Like what?" Honestly, it's hard to believe Hanzo is not being purposely evasive. "I told you already, I am busy practicing." He shoots the last of his arrows then crosses the field again to retrieve them.

Junkrat rubs his temples, and presses his back against the wall, sinking down into a heap.

"... awright, awright, lemme just clear this up for ya, mate!" He picks himself up, and he follows after Hanzo, waiting for him to finish retrieving the arrows so that he can directly face him. He looks down at him-- then realizes looking at him while he says this is a bad idea, because he's suddenly very intimidated.

"... I." He pushes the words out-- more blurting than anything else. "Want ta go on a date. With you. Maybe. If you're inta that kinda thing!"

He followed it with fingerguns and a terrified grin.

Hanzo is not ready to turn around and realize that Junkrat is a full head and shoulders taller than him. He looks up, suddenly intimidated, then sets his face, refusing to give away that he is indeed intimidated.

"What kind of date," is what he eventually settles on, because he's not sure how else to handle this type of situation. He straightens his back and squares his shoulders in an attempt to look larger than he is - he's used to feeling small next to Reinhardt, but the man was big and booming and had shoulders 'as big as the broad side of a barn', he'd heard Jesse bewilderingly say once.

Hanzo had known, logically, that Junkrat was tall. But he just hadn't realized it until right that second.

That's... that's not a no. For a second, Junkrat is just kind of frozen, his expression pure shock.

"Well--" He fumbles, trying to recollect himself, to remember what he'd wanted to say in the first place. "Yanno! Whatever kind ya want, I guess? I just, yanno..."

Don't say anything inappropriate, Jamison. Don't do it.

"... wanted to, er, get to know ya better!" There! That sounds good!