bakerstreet | and since we've no place to go

and since we've no place to go

❄ it's quiet
and the snow's beautiful tonight

snowfall;

stage i; none, streets are already blanketed in white.
stage ii; very light and intermittent.
stage iii; light - moderate. lasts longer periods.
stage iv; continuous, heavy snowfall.
stage v; the hardest of cores - blizzards, snowstorms, you name it.

scenarios;

① fuck the police, this is the best time for a walk. hope you've got a nice thick coat on.
② stranded in the buttcrack of nowheresville? weren't you watching the time? now you've gone and missed that last bus out of there. or maybe you're lost, somehow. what do?
③ literally chilling, in this weather, is quite easy to do. sitting around relaxing in it is a wee more difficult, but sometimes much more enjoyable, especially if shelter can be found. the snow is beautiful to watch, after all.
④ the weather's not going to stop you. your snow fort's packed full of ammo and ready to go. those aren't snow angels over there; they mark where the poor souls you've downed have fallen. be careful with that snowman's head!!
⑤ you're about fifty miles from civilization but there's a roof over your head, so never mind the chilly draught, right? right. you mightn't be the only one lucky enough to stumble upon this little shelter, though. remember to share the blanket.
⑥ everyone stuck outside should be jelly. you've got a fireplace and hot cocoa and damn if it isn't awesome. a heater's not quite so romantic, but it'd do. there'd better be a backup generator in case the power trips.
⑦ mix and match, or make up your own.

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[He offers little more than a grunt, apparently not interested in arguing how Call of Duty he is or isn't (he totally is). They're going to play video games, apparently, and that is much more important than the fact that he is totally a Generic Rifleguy™.

76 is also under no illusions about his own abilities--he's okay, but she's a professional gamer, and is therefore probably going to whip him soundly in most everything from DDR to Street Fighter. It is simply a fact of life, and he's not really looking to challenge that, even if he is sort of egging her into a competition.]

All right, all right.

[He mock-shrugs, the grin evident in his voice.]

If you don't think it'll be a challenge...

[ Is it because it's a battle he knows he will lose? Too bad he doesn't have the same line of thought when it comes to going against D.Va in the vidya game called Call of Duty.

Or DDR, or Street Fighter, or Galaga. Nobody has beaten her high score in Hanamura yet. Nobody will.

Another soft punch in the arm comes from the MEKA Queen. ]

First of all, we have to work on your BM if you think that's enough to tilt me. Second of all, I'll take anybody on. Any day, any time. Boy or girl, young or old. Come at me.

[ BRO. ]

BM?

[Okay, so maybe he's not so hip with the lingo, but whatever. He can play video games, which he thinks should give him some cool points. Some kind of points, maybe. He flinches a little when she punches him in the arm, but he doesn't let that trip him up for long.

Shoving her back, however, seems a little much. They reach her MEKA and he drags a gloved hand over the smooth pink surface, wiping off some of the snow.]

[ He played Call of Duty and he doesn't know the meaning of BM? For shame. ]

BM stands for Bad Manners, duh. You know, bad sportsmanship?

[ Nobody else knows that but hardcore gamers. He shouldn't feel bad.

He has more cool points than McCree, if that counts for anything. Though she's not sure how to feel about him touching her MEKA all willy-nilly or whatever. ]

Teabagging is number one when it comes to any kinds of BM.

Right.

[Well, now he knows, and he won't soon forget. He's got no idea if this is winning him any points with her (and wonders why he even cares about winning points with her), but here they are, he guesses. It seems to be working.]

I promise not to teabag you.

[Which is. Maybe an awkward thing to say out loud as they walk back to the base.]

[ A bark of surprised laughter escapes her before she covers her mouth. ]

Grosssss.

[ He's old so she doesn't want to think about Slowpoke 76 teabagging of ALL THINGS.

He won't have to promise it anyway. If he gets a kill at all, then she'll be more impressed than annoyed. As much as he's the personification for Call of Duty, she never pegged the Soldier as someone who actually played video games at all. He's so serious.

Then again, she's seen a side to him today she wouldn't normally. Soldier:76, the Tsundere.

Hana unlatches the back panel and starts to shrug off the coat. She won't fit in the cockpit with it on. With a small smile, she holds it out towards him. ]

Gamsa. [ It did keep her warm. Just before he can grab his coat back it lowers a couple inches. Her smile tugs up higher. Sly. ]

Heeeeey. [ Uh oh. ] Do you want to make our competition a little more interesting?

What?

[It's clear he Doesn't Get It, and shrugs it off as she opens the back of her MEKA. 76 waits patiently for her to do what she needs, looking perhaps a little surprised as she gives him the coat back. He shakes it out and pulls it back on, raising an eyebrow when she suggests higher stakes.]

I'm not takin' my mask off.

[Because of course she's going to beat him, and of course that's what she means by making the competition more interesting.]

[ If she curses in Korean, then he won't yell at her, right? She does, vehemently, and then climbs into her MEKA with the latch slamming closed behind her. A moment later, everything is booted up and her voice is back to being distorted. ]

You're in the Splash Zone.

[ He'll understand what she means when the pink robot shakes itself as if it's actually an animal, scattering snow everywhere.

Maybe she does it on purpose because he ruins ALL HER PLANS. And because she's D.Va. ]

Wh—

[76 doesn’t manage to get an additional inquiry out before she’s shaking snow off her MEKA all over him. He’s completely caught of-guard by the maneuver, and even though his mouth and eyes are covered, that doesn’t make this any less surprising or infuriating.]

Come on!

[He starts brushing the snow off himself, scrubbing at his mask, sounding more than a little petulant—perhaps the most emotion he’s displayed all night.]

[ Innocent whistles could go here. She doesn't actually whistle, but her expression says it wouldn't be out of place if she did. ]

What? I warned you.

[ Her small shoulders shrug in the cockpit and MEKA copies her.

Along with a little emoji that pops up:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]

Let's get inside.

[He practically growls that, indicating that whatever sort of rapport they were building is now over. 76 does his very best to shake and dust the snow off himself, but it's clear that he's been momentarily soured on the whole 'being outside' thing. THANKS, HANA.]

[ Lol, oops. Did she actually upset him with her Blizzard move again? She supposes that will make it easy to best him at COD if he's already tilted at her.

Thing is... she kind of liked the weird friendship they had going on from being put on patrols together. She liked seeing the new side of 76 that wasn't all duty and seriousness and get off my lawns. He was a person, too. Not just a soldier.

Hana hangs back for a bit, waiting, and until 76 realizes she's not following with her robot she suddenly puts on the thrusters and barrels towards him. ]

Incoming!

[ HANA WHAT THE FUCK

Don't worry, she's not looking to tackle him over (like she often does to enemies close to edges for envirokills). She scoops him up and plants him on top of her MEKA so he has a ride. It's not inside but he can rest his tired, old feet this way. ]

[HANA WHAT THE FUCK indeed. 76 is completely unprepared for this kind of maneuver, and no amount of super soldier reflexes will save him from what comes next. He hears the sound of her jets, but with his back to her he doesn't know what she's actually doing until it's far too late.

He wheels around just in time for her to nearly collide with him, and then before he can get out of the way, she's scooped him up in the MEKA's arms and deposited him right on top. His brain takes a moment to catch up, and that moment is filled with some choice profanities and a not insignificant amount of flailing.]

What the hell are you doing?

[ That's definitely a new curse she hasn't heard before. Over the sound of a blizzard, his profanities, and her MEKA Hana shouts: ]

Getting us back inside so we can play Call of Duty! What else?!

[ As quickly as possible. ]

Haaaang on!

[ They're going up and above the forest. As fun as it could be to dodge and weave the trees, it's Worth It to increase the altitude. Get the high ground, so to speak. That and she doesn't want to run the risk of Soldier getting sick all over her robot.

More gross than teabagging.

The Overwatch base is just a couple kilometers northeast of their position. Even in the haze of the snowfall, its silhouette can be seen in the distance. ]

Hang on--

[Really, he has no objections to riding the MEKA back inside--it's just the surprise and the lack of time to orient himself that gets him. He tries to shift, gloved hands scrabbling for purchase on a surface not necessarily designed to carry a person on top.

He’s still cursing up a storm, at least until it feels like he’s not about to fall off. When he realizes that they’re heading upward, he gets a little more creative.]

You got a handhold on this thing?!

[Not that he thinks she can hear him over the sound of the rockets.]

[ Genji didn't need handholds when he was perched on top of her mech, ready to fight off Diablo. He probably has something on the bottom of his shoes that sticks him to surfaces, though. That's why he climbs so easy.

Which is worse: The storm of Soldier's cursing or the storm that's been going on for a good few hours now? In Hana's opinion, neither bother her. Soldier's storm is more interesting with the colorful words he's been using. There's a couple new ones she can add to her vocabulary. She'll have to ask someone what they mean... ]

Grab the ears!

[ Ears? What does she mean? Robots don't have ears.

It's probably the two little wings at the hood that look like bunny ears. ]

[76 would argue that all of this is the worst, 0/10 would not do again, but it's too late to quit now, and Hana strikes him as someone who fully commits. They're not so different in that regard, if he gives it some thought, but he's too busy trying to hold on for dear life to really consider it.

To his credit, he seems to understand what she's talking about when she refers to 'ears',
and he's shifting as well as he can to take hold of them.

It's better, now that he doesn't feel like he's about to topple into the forest below, but it's still not how he wanted to spend the evening.]

You have to warn me!

[ If he actually said 0/10, she would be so proud of his meme.

He's right, too. She commits and never backs down or gives up.

Hana wonders if he's still on top, but if he fell he would have been yelling loud enough for her to hear it. The nagging cements it. He's fine.

Relatively. Still naggy. ]

I did! Didn't you hear me say "incoming"?!

[ She doesn't let him argue beyond that because she looks downwards at this Winter Wonderland the storm has created. ]

Whooooa!

[ The trees are frosted with snow and finally, mercifully, the sky has decided to clear up. For miles and miles it's just white and so stark against an inky black sky, glittering stars. ]

[He did, of course, but he'd expected another snowball--not necessarily this. Right now, he's trying very hard not to lose his grip, and also making sure his righteous indignation is known.]

Yeah, it's real nice.

[Despite the improving weather, 76 is still flying on top of the MEKA, too high for him to survive the fall, and there's a very large part of him still convinced he is going to slip off and die. It makes enjoying the view a little difficult, though it is hard not to hear the wonder in her voice.]

Can we get down now?

[ It is known, definitely, but she's not doing much to acknowledge it or feel sorry for it. All that wonder in her voice disappears and instead the grumbles in a tone that would give Soldier's grumps a run for their money. ]

Party pooper.

[ What, is he scared? He's been fighting it the whole time and finally she gets the hint and doesn't prod at him anymore. It's all well and good, they're practically at the front door of Overwatch HQ by now.

MEKA lands with a tremor that jostles even Hana in her suit. ]

Thank you for flying with MEKA today. We hope you enjoyed your flight, sir.

[ Her flight attendant voice is pretty good. She is an actress. ]

[Look, he just doesn’t want to fall to an icy death, that’s all. 76 might not have a great deal of self-preservation, but if he’s going to stupidly risk his life, it’s going to be on his own terms. To his credit, he shuts up once they begin their descent, though he’s still clinging to the ‘ears’ as they touch down. He stays frozen for a few minutes, as if determining whether or not it’s really over, then finally lets himself slide off.]

Leaving you a bad internet review.

[As deadpan as ever, as he stalks over to the door. The sooner Athena can check them in, the better.]

[ As if she doesn't have plenty of those. All streamers have love and hate. Considering how global D.Va has gone, she has plenty of both and has learned to take it all in stride.

And moving in stride to follow him to the large gate that allows them entry into the main hanger of Overwatch. Where she puts MEKA. ]

We're sorry to hear that, sir. Next time, we'll be sure to upgrade our systems with accommodations for a grumpy old man. [ Hana bounces back easily. ]

Hiya, Athena!

[ A MEKA arm waves towards the gate. ]

[Athena, of course, is the biggest keeper of 76's secret--there's really no way to get past her bio-scans, to say nothing of the fact that he's been using his old strike commander backdoors to comb his way through records and files. There's a pang of guilt every time she address him as Soldier: 76, like she does now as she lets them both into the complex with her usual welcome.

He doesn't offer Hana a witty retort as they cross the threshold inside, instead taking a very deliberate moment to kick snow off his boots before addressing her.]

All systems functional?

[Not that he thinks a little snow would have hurt the MEKA, but maybe carrying a two hundred pound super soldier in a way it was not designed to threw off its equilibrium, or something.]

[ Hacker!!

Meka is parked off to the side, and Hana pops out of the cockpit with a toss of her hair over her shoulder. The green lights go dim and Soldier doesn't have to worry about impromptu flights any longer. She then begins to tug off her gloves, pinching the ends of her fingers one by one until it comes off.

All the while kicking up a wayward wrench from the ground with the toe of her boot to catch in her now, glove free, hand. ]

Operational and optimal.

[ He cares so much. Now that she's figured out his secret... she can make sense of him a little more. His "weird" moments are his moments of care. The wrench spins between her fingers as she mulls. ]

I still have to run maintenance, though. Me kicking your butt at COD has to wait a bit longer.

and since we've no place to go

always

oh shit POSES AGAIN

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HAPPY DAD DAY, OVERWATCH DAD

THANKS, I SAY, A DAY LATER

/mercy voice YOU'RE WELCOME

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1/2

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i think this is the longest i've ever tagged anything lmao

poses dramatically

gives u medal

Re: gives u medal

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PLEASE