jade ☃ harley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
basslines) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2016-09-08 02:14 pm
basslines) wrote in bakerstreet2016-09-08 02:14 pm
thursday pic prompt
the picture prompt meme
i. COMMENT WITH CHARACTER
ii. OTHERS LEAVE A PICTURE (OR TWO OR THREE....)
iii. REPLY TO THEM WITH A SETTING BASED ON THE IMAGES.
THIS POST WILL BE IMAGE HEAVY.
Re: Kurt and Charles
"Mine?" he questioned incredulously, studying the space around them that they currently resided in. Although Charles had been the one to create the visualization, he felt like it was rather fitting; all white - like a blank slate, which was how Kurt tried to keep it when his thoughts weren't jumbled or out of his control. Starting with complete emptiness on something always felt like he could give a far better idea behind whatever it was he'd been thinking about. He eyed the door behind Charles first, then turned to look at the one over his own shoulder, making a note of the differences in them.
A simple nod of the head was all he offered, though in the back of his mind, that melancholic tinge had not gone unnoticed. He strode forward and reached to place a reassuring hand on Charles' shoulder, lips curving into the smallest of smiles. "No matter how your image changes, you will always be the amazing Professor that I've come to know."
Re: Kurt and Charles
"Yours. A small space of my own creation, temporary of course, inside your mind. Sort of... a safe haven, somewhere we can retreat to if things go sour or are too overwhelming. Free of stimulus, and the entire mind is stimulus. It's a necessary thing to be able to spend any length of time here if we're together. On my own... things are a little different, but we're here on a mission!" He gave that quirk of a smile he got, very rarely now a days, but the ghost of something from the past. A bit of mischief in that look.
But it dissolved into surprise, then a certain fondness, as Kurt stepped up to reassure him. Still, he didn't want to linger on it, not when his emotions could just as easily affect things within, and gave Kurt's shoulder a pat. "Thank you," meaning it, but continuing on. "For right now, let's see where we can start. It might not be pleasant, but what can you remember from the dream you where having?"
Re: Kurt and Charles
"Incredible. This is such an absolutely amazing gift ..." He gave their surroundings one final, lingering glance then returned his attention to Charles, a wide grin of his own coming across his face at the sight of his teacher in such a seemingly enthusiastic mood. (Was that a possible hint at some playfulness in there?)
Kurt's smile softened, warm and content in response to the affectionate touch to his shoulder. "You are welcome and thank you, Professor," he paused, taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, features immediately shifting to worry. "The beginning of the dream is not always the same. Sometimes, I'm in a church first and things get progressively worse from there, but they eventually end up in the same place: the fight club that Raven rescued me from. More often than not, the ... box I was kept in."
Re: Kurt and Charles
"Mm." There was just a tinge of anger Charles couldn't help at the idea of Kurt being kept in a box like some kind of animal, but he needed to focus on this problem now and making sure whatever that mess was in Kurt's homeland was taken care of later. (And he damn well would after seeing all of this.) "We need to see how things start as much as where they end, so... I want you to imagine this church. Is it a specific church? An imagined church? A church made up of other churches?" Trying to get a clue going through Kurt's mind so they had a starting place.
As soon as Kurt started to imagine that place, the white room would start to dissolve into it. No matter what the imagined church looked like, there were still two doors. Maybe this time it was the huge double doors at the back of the church people usually entered and the smaller door used for the priest to come and go at the front, but always two doors, just like the white room.
Re: Kurt and Charles
It wasn't hard for Kurt to notice the hint of irritation from Charles, though he figured it better to not mention it. If they were to get distracted, the mind-space could be distorted and all of their careful planning would be derailed. "It's worn and abandoned ..." He tried his hardest to imagine the church from his dreams, attempting to conjure up even the smallest details about the place - any particular things he could remember.
The ivory space began to fade around them, giving way to a far more intricate sort of setting; a church, as Kurt had described, with double doors at Charles' back and a vast empty space with another door at his own. He turned to gaze around at the old stone pillars, faded stained glass windows and arching ceiling, swallowing hard around the forming lump in his throat. "... this is it," he stated simply, trying to keep his voice from wavering.
Re: Kurt and Charles
Charles took a few moments of silence to study the surrounding church-scape that had appeared. What was it about this place that affected the generally cheerful Kurt so strongly? His gaze flickered back to the other, those elegant scars carved into his skin, and briefly made an assumption about the connection between the two before forcing that out of his mind. He couldn't assume, not now. This was delicate territory, in the mind of another, and a way to all too easily manipulate something if he was not extremely careful.
So instead, staying close to Kurt for support, he let Kurt describe it. "Is this based on a real place or is it something your unconscious has created?" Getting Kurt to talk wasn't just for his own information; he needed Kurt to start processing this on his own which was the only way this would work without needing a more drastic step, one that Charles didn't believe would ever fully work. A great difference lied between. Simply repairing the beam of a well-used bridge versus replacing that beam. Repairing it would be simplier and quicker but it meant there would forever be a weak-spot just waiting to break again.
Re: Kurt and Charles
He didn't have to look up to feel Charles' eyes on him. Still, the cobalt-tinted teen dropped his attention to his feet and shifted uncomfortably. If that wasn't a hint toward the meaning behind this church, behind the intricate scarification not only littering his face and hands, but all up and down his arms and across his chest. Most people hadn't been given a chance to see that, though, so they assumed it stopped at the former places.
With his mentor nearby, Kurt faintly relaxed his shoulders, taming the rapid in and out of his breathing. He had to do this and with Charles' help, they would figure out a solution. "It's an old church I used to go to when I was still living in Bavaria with my family." The words are somehow above a whisper and he only pauses to sharply inhale before continuing, because if he stops, he probably won't be able to continue. "This is how it looks now that it's abandoned. It's where ..." he trailed off, hands trembling as he turned to look over his shoulder. "Where I began scarring myself."
For now, he refused to look at Charles - too afraid of losing himself in emotions about this revelation, but this was a step forward in the right direction.
Re: Kurt and Charles
There was no hurry. Time didn't pass in your mind at the same rate it did out there, so Charles could wait until Kurt could speak about it, letting him set the pace and speed of what they were doing. He would give him that space yet also provide the hand up that everyone needed. He had needed, even if it came with foot long metal claws at the time.
When Kurt admitted where this place was the beginning of, he knew this would work in the end. A step in the right direction. From the way that Kurt was reacting spoke so deeply of shame, guilt, pain... it was obvious to understand why this church would be a starting place in his nightmares. It was a literal and figurative start.
"Do you remember the reason you began?" He asked quietly, giving Kurt a small suggestion of how to continue even as he moved slowly within memories, trying to encourage it up out of the depths of the unconscious.
Re: Kurt and Charles
That was probably a good thing. It took him far longer than he'd liked, but he (albeit hesitantly) turned back to Charles after a few long minutes, the twitching of his fingers ceasing long enough for him to move his hands behind his back.
Along with all of those, Kurt also couldn't fight the mixture of fright from the memory and unease at the thought of what his fellow mutant would think of his bodily harm. He tried his hardest to fight through the wave of sentiment rushing to him, head faintly tipping and his shoulders rolling. He could do this - he was more than determined.
"A priest spoke of it during a sermon: wonderfully elaborate figures--" he paused to motion to his face with an equally scarred hand, "called 'Enochian'. He mentioned how it was used to fend off demons and negative otherworldly things. It started as a form of repentance, like how some people flog themselves?"
He stopped to briefly huff a laugh, taking a step forward, that tail lashing from side to side. "I made a comment once that when I think about it now, it seems inappropriate. 'Most people won't know what the symbols mean, but maybe with the language of the angels on my body, I will appear less demonic,' or something like that."
Re: Kurt and Charles
Charles could feel all of it. Every burst of emotion, the pouring of guilt and shame, so powerful it felt like it could flatten him. It was all a part of their connection, the feeling of his fingers at Kurt's temples far away and beyond memory, but it was something he was feeling as keenly as if it was his own. His fingers crept up against his willing, brushing against his bare forearm as if he had the designs across his own flesh.
"It is not... something unexpected for a child to take so literally, but rare for it to go to such extremes." He had to rise above those feelings so that he could show Kurt that it could happen, that they could be over come, but it wasn't an easy thing when he still felt them every day himself. "I don't think the comment is or was inappropriate, but a child's pain speaking out."
He gave a little smile, trying to encourage. "Do you still doubt that your friends can look upon you in another light? The world... human, mutant, it doesn't matter... for all that we say we are higher beings than animals, we still judge each other on first glance. It doesn't matter the color of your skin or eyes or the make up of your body - everyone is judged and only those worthy of our time look any further past that."
Re: Kurt and Charles
From his peripheral, Kurt watched as Charles rubbed at his arm, bit down on the inside of his cheek again and huffed from his nose. He couldn't bear to think about someone else feeling what he'd done all these years; the first sting of a cut, the adrenaline rush from the exsanguination, the weeks of recovery afterward. No, he didn't want Charles to have to feel that.
Forcing the overwhelming emotions down, he cleared his throat and adjusted his hands again, allowing them to clasp over the front of his stomach. "I was young and impressionable while trying to find where I fit in this life." Something he was continuously struggling with, apparently. He scrunched his nose in thought, twiddling his thumbs to occupy his hands so they wouldn't twitch. "Maybe you're right."
Charles' question brought about another long silence, his head dipping forward and his eyes shutting. In his time before the cage fights, he might have thought that most people would always look at him with pity or hate, but here at Xavier's, he had friends - people who cared about his well-being and vice-versa. "... I think they could. Many of the other mutants I've met here have all treated me with respect. It's ... something I've been attempting to adapt to since I was rescued."
Re: Kurt and Charles
It wasn't that simple. It wasn't Kurt alone in his mind, where he could hide those fears and feelings. Charles was inside of those barriers and he could feel not only the initial feelings but those attempts to repress as well. He had to take a breath to brace himself against it, keeping up his own internal mental shielding the best he could.
He moved closer, his fingers coming out to brush the back of one blue hand. Here, he was already as connected as he could be, so there was no issue of feedback. "Am I the only one you've spoken about these to?" he asked quietly. He could well imagine so, as no one, as Kurt had suggested, would recognize that the symbols were in fact a language or scars versus a natural pattern in the irregular creation that was mutants.
Re: Kurt and Charles
He hadn't forgotten that he wasn't alone, but if he'd spent all his time trying to figure out what else Charles' marvelous power could do, they wouldn't be getting anywhere. Perhaps, if he could weed out the anxiety, he'd be able to control the fluctuation of emotions.
Kurt turned to look where Charles' hand had brushed his own, blinking slowly then twisting his arm so his fingers could curl around his mentor's - an almost child-like sort of gesture, as if he was afraid one of them would abruptly disappear or something. "Ja," he agreed softly, bringing his gaze to Charles' face, albeit with some hesitance. "I'm afraid to talk to anyone else. Worried that they might be disgusted with me or worse - not want to associate with me at all."
Re: Kurt and Charles
Charles not only allowed the grip of Kurt's hand but squeezed it tightly, offering that connection that maybe he needed just as much as Kurt. He didn't deny Kurt's concern immediately as some might have, but instead thought over those who he believed were Kurt's friends, who might be the best to bring it up to. After a moment or two, he said quietly, "Jean."
He took a breath, meeting those handsome eyes calmly. "Jean is one of the singularly most understanding people I've met in a very long time. I think... you should talk to her. Could you imagine Jean honestly being disgusted with you?" He gave a small smile, his voice soft. "Sympathy, yes. She will hurt with you. But leave you? Not speak with you? Never."
Re: Kurt and Charles
It was a reassuring grip and Kurt couldn't resist the urge to look at their hands, lips pursing at his own moderately immature need to be close to someone, despite the fact that outside of this, Charles was already right there with him. He lifted his gaze at the mention of Jean's name, his brow furrowing with confusion. "Jean?" he repeated quietly, wondering what exactly she had to do with the situation.
Although, he relaxed more as Charles began explaining, tipping his head to the side then giving a soft laugh of relief. "No, I couldn't imagine her ever being upset with anyone, really." They haven't known each other long, but Jean'd always been kind to him, had accepted him and extended invitations to do things with their other friends. He absently nodded his head and smiled also, features lighting up with the notion of talking to Jean one day. "I think I'd like that."
Re: Kurt and Charles
Around them, the dimness of the church lightened ever so slightly, drawing away from the repressive feeling it had been giving off moments before. Not all of it, but some. It made Charles look around and smile just a bit more, knowing they were heading in the right direction, one step at a time.
"You and I... both will have to work, a little every day, to make sure we don't fall down the darker path we once walked, but now you have others to walk along side of you." Charles took a breath, knowing perhaps the irony of his words as he kept many things close to his chest instead of speaking with others about them, but there were so few who he trusted with such information that still lived. His fingers tightened on Kurt's, knowing that what he said next might change the attitude of this place all over again.
"You said that from the church, your nightmares often take a familiar route. Where would they go next?"
Re: Kurt and Charles
The partial brightening of the area caused Kurt's head to lift, ruby-tinted irises peering around with curiosity. Now, looking around the church didn't scare him as much, didn't make him think of what had happened here as something altogether terrible. Yes, it was where he'd started his ritualistic repentance, but he'd been able to get through that and hadn't done it in so long, that maybe this chapter of his life's book could be written off.
"I am eternally grateful for their help," he admitted almost instantly, keeping his attention firmly locked on Charles. "And especially yours, Professor. You're the one that talked me into this and I must admit, I was rather nervous at first, but with your support--" a brief pause, his fingers squeezing again in return before hesitantly beginning to slip away. "This place does not frighten me anymore."
He released a huff and squared his shoulders, readying himself to continue their journey through this dream. "After the church, I start remembering things about the fight club. Battling with Angel and the ... the box." At least he didn't shiver when mentioning it this time.
Re: Kurt and Charles
This was something he knew something about, thanks to his sister. She had described the situation she'd found Kurt in, something that she alone would experience the rage he had felt at hearing what people were doing to mutants, how they could do it to someone as sweet as Kurt. Here, he worked to keep it under control, knowing it would only get worse when he witnessed things through Kurt's own eyes. He nodded slightly, keeping his voice level as he spoke. "Then we need to go there next." He focused inwardly into Kurt's mind before gesturing slightly towards the door they had not entered through.
"Take us there." It was a careful process, tenderly working out those memories not from the memories themselves but deeper in the unconsciousness where dreams lived. Healing one through the other. "I am right beside you." And the look he gave said he wouldn't leave it.
Re: Kurt and Charles
He wasn't fond of the memory, but he'd do his best to control his emotions on the matter. If anything, Kurt could imagine the fight club burning to the ground, much like he'd done for a rather long time his first month or two in the school. It's not exceedingly Catholic of him to do that, but who wouldn't be happy to hear about the building being destroyed, aside from the humans that came to watch? He locked his gaze on the door Charles motioned toward, huffing what he's hoping was a reassuring breath.
"Okay," muttered the younger mutant, his hand relifting to firmly clasp Charles' arm - mostly for his own comfort. Then, with his heart-rate at a somewhat normal pace, he began to head for the end of the room opposite of the one they'd entered into.