bakerstreet | Not that innocent

Not-So-Innocent Crush

Most people have seen a grand friendship strained by romantic inclinations at least once in their life, but when it comes to you, they can feel at ease. No one in the world would expect anything of that sort coming from your end. In their eyes, your age, personality type, job, duty, position, or even your species renders your abilities to feel romantic love null and void. And there's no way you could have any feelings towards them! If there is, it has to be a little crush. Completely innocent!

...except not. You are crushing, you may even love them, but most importantly, your thoughts toward them are anything but innocent. Actually, when it comes to them, your mind is absolutely filthy.

Does their inability to view you as a sexual or romantic non-entity? If there's an age difference, do you feel guilty? A species difference, do you feel like a traitor? Maybe it best to keep how you really view the locked neatly inside -

- except when everything comes to light, it's going to be messy. They're going to hate you...but what if they don't? What if your ideas are quite exciting, instead? Of course, things will probably be messy then, too.

This meme doesn't have to be a smut meme. It can be fluffy, romantic, awkward, cracky, angsty, gen (...somehow) or, yes, even smut. Just state in your preferences what you'd, well, prefer.
Reply with your character, preference, info, and which party you'd like to play: the oblivious object of lust and affection or the one sporting the big crushboner.
Reply to others.
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Tucker wasn’t stupid.

Okay, so that was a general and vague statement and not entirely correct, but he wasn’t stupid when it came to picking up chicks.

…Yeah, that wasn’t exactly right either, but we’ll look past that for the moment. He knew the fundamentals (and promptly threw most of those out the window), but the biggest one was to have a badass job that had badass perks where he could look like a badass day in and day out. Chicks fucking dug the hell out of that, and he knew he would be banging until his dick fell off. From over-work, not, like, a disease or something.

So, it was no surprise that one Lavernius Tucker wanted to become an international super spy.

…Okay, not exactly, but he was trying to, and that had to mean something. He had strolled in today for a meeting with Malory, but he was stuck waiting outside, checking out the crazy hot chick who was made about as much sense as the very “special” neighbor in his apartment building, Caboose. But, hey, at least she was good-looking and she got an excited gleam in her eye when someone mentioned choking so…yeah. Freak in the sheets. Good enough for him.

But she huffed off when someone asked her to fax something, and it made him wonder just what the hell she did around here. He stood awkwardly in the room in his totally rented suit because screw buying all that shit before he was hooking up and / or shooting assholes. It fit him a little big, and he kept tugging down on his tie before he just said “Fuck it” and threw it on the ground, the clip-on metal part shining in the shitty lighting overhead. Okay. Yeah. So he’d go for the relaxed look. No big deal.

The job was as good as his anyway. Malory was a girl’s name, right? Eaaaasy. This job was totally his…even if he had never done a day of spy work in his life. Or, like, any work. But come on, he was totally a natural Bond! If Daniel Craig could do it, then how hard could it be?

ISIS wasn't exactly the cream of the crop, and if anyone knew cream it was Pam. Oh...dairy farm for Christ sake! But yeah, other things too.

She had worked in HR for a long time and only after she'd beat the hell out of the test for field agent had Mallory even given her a chance. The old bat had given Cyril a chance and he was about as tough as a sponge. He did have other endowments that made him a ready candidate for all sorts of other activities though. Friggin skinny bitch Cheryl had that on lock down though, at least after he and Lana broke up.

Archer and Lana were on again off again like cats in heat most of the time and even Keiger was getting busy with his hologram not-girlfriend.

Where did that leave her? No friggin where, that's where. Pam was a warm and kind and giving woman...ohh she wanted to give. And wasn't really all that particular of what she was giving to whom. So she was a little thick, did that make her bad? Hell no!

Even Sterling himself had been amazed at her sexual skills, chupacabra for dicks am I right? She just wanted to have someone of her own, at least for ten minutes. Maybe five.

So in walks the new potential recruit with all his swagger and cockiness and she could see him and Cheryl making eyes until she started talking about her chocking fetish. Inevitably that imploded because Cheryl, best friend though she might be, she was a crazy bitch.

"So you must be," She scanned her clip board. "Lavernius Tucker, I'm Pam Poovey, head of HR, Malory might be a while so I thought I'd see if there was anything I could do to you. Or for you." She tucked her clipboard under her arm and shrugged. Meh, why not. "Or to you."