bakerstreet | (no subject)

(no subject)

THEKINDASTUCKMEME
Well, at least it's not glue.

RULES:
o1. Put down your character ( name | series | any preferences).
o2. Those replying can pick / rng / ask Snape on the astral plane to choose one of the prompts below.
o3. You know what they say: birds of a feather get stuck in questionably legal situations together!

Hope you enjoy your enforced quality time, when you're both stuck -

o1 in traffic, after an atrocious argument.
o2. distracting this person, while your partner in comedy/crime organizes their surprise party, or slashes their car tyres.
o3. defending the base for the next vicious 42 min, until your cavalry to get here. Ladies, gentlemen: good luck.
o4. on a raft, idly drifting the way of the nearest deserted island, a surely cute shark in tow.
o5. in an air vent, after fruitlessly stalking this person, whom you thought to be a serial killer. They don't make friendly neighbours like they used to.
o6. trapped in a codependent relationship with your bed / pet / really domestic hobby, from which this person hopes to break you by way of ~~alcohol~~ a social intervention.
o7. in a waiting room, while you're hanging around for the results for a highly embarrassing disease test, and would really rather not run into anyone you kno - ...God damn it.
o8. trying to safely navigate through a department store, after carelessly forgetting you were out on your measly errand during Black Friday / the year's biggest one-day sale.
o9. standing guard in front of a bedroom with this nigh-stranger, so your Romeo-Juliet-like friends can finally get it on in behind closed doors, thematic noises included. Get the small talk going.
10. with your hair in one of their zippers. You pick which. Everyone else just points and laughs.
11. delivering some pretty terrible news to them.
12. with your hand in their mailbox, just as they're coming out of their house, or apartment.
13. doing the dishes, when you both forgot your wallets and can't foot the bill.
14. playing moral support for your friend, who's stuck in a magician's box, while said magician goes off to look for the key. And coffee. And dinner.
15. reading a manual on how to defuse a bomb, or a very sensitive alarm system. Tick-tack. No rush.
16. waiting for the movie reels to get changed over from an accidental porn showing, courtesy of teenagers in charge of the screening room. You're also out of popcorn.
17. under the only stone building around for miles in the middle of an acidic rain. And then you wonder whether pollution's really on the rise.
18. on the roof, after the ladder's snapped in half. Your neighbour's particularly irritable cat might also be out on the prowl.
19. in a bdsm swing. Look, no one's judging.
20. baby-sitting, pet-sitting, or car-sitting. Yes, that new Ferrari needs day and night surveillance.
21. in a lake, because this person caught you skinny-dipping and won't. Go. Away.
22. on the phone for an important interview / business conversation, while this person tries to distract you.
23. waiting to be ransomed, while in the actually quite loving care of especially incompetent criminals.
24. with your and this person's thumbs engaged in a dysfunctional Chinese finger trap.
25. waiting for them to make the Important Announcement they've been hinting at all week, while they taunt and tease you with it.

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See, yeah, but that's just what the media'd say. ( scott is a child so he flicks foam onto tony's shirtsleeve. ) What they don't know is there is no dragging, and Friend would go down any drain for Tony Sink. And has already. Several times.

( scott isn't usually the strikingly sentimental type, but it seems like tony might need that reassurance. maybe. whatever it is, he doesn't like when tony beats himself up. that's scott's job, after all. )

It's like how a breakfast plate can never have just one egg. So we're the two bad eggs, you know?

[It's impossible not to smile around Scott sometime. The guy just has a way of bringing one out of people. He could use a little more of that in his life, especially given recent events. Shaking his head slightly, Tony finishes rinsing the plate in his hands before setting it off to the side.]

If we're the two bad eggs, what would that make Pep?

[And since he is a child too, he splashes a little more water over at Scott.]

The media has always spun whatever story they want on me. I'm not actually worried if this gets out. [He doesn't care enough to.]

Oh, yeah. I'm not worried, either. ( scott laughs a bit, bumps his soap bubble'd arm against tony's. maybe this isn't what they're supposed to do as dish-washers, but they might as well have fun. ) I'm gonna be painted as your best friend or your new floozy, and those are not the worst things I've been called.

If they ask, I'll say you're a thorough lover. And Pepper can't even sue me, 'cause I don't have a social security number and I'm legally dead. ( yeah, scott hasn't fixed those papers at all. ) Also, if we're the eggs, she's the bacon. Duh, Tony.

[It's a good thing neither of them are actual dishwashers then. The restaurant industry would be in shambles otherwise.] It's going to have to be the new floozy. Rhodey would fight you for the position of best friend.

[Arching a brow at him, Tony picks up the next soapy dish, slowly beginning to wash it.] One, I am a thorough lover. Two, why would Pep sue you? And three, I feel like she's too good to be on the same plate as two bad eggs. [Which is why he will forever be grateful for having her in his life.] Do you plan on announcing you're back from the dead anytime soon? [Since they're on the subject, anyway.]

It's not like anyone has to know Scott Lang came back to life. ( he shrugs, rinsing another plate, shaking the stray drops, and replacing it. ) When someone says "Ant-Man" people think Pym, anyway. Or O'Grady. You know, the douchebags that aren't me.

( rest in peace, though, hank. scott supposes. )

And I think the suing thing is for... ( snap snap snap. as scott tries to find the word and snaps his fingers, soap flies. ) ... libel? When you say something image-crushing about someone that isn't true. Like playground gossip but for petty grown-ups.

Promise I don't have cooties, though. ( griiiiin. )

[Well. He’s not wrong. No one needs to know he’s alive. It might even make life easier, but it also takes away a lot at the same time. He can name one thing off of the top of his head. It’s not his place to bring it up though. The decision is Scott’s to make.]

If Pep sues every single person who defames me, she won’t have time to eat or sleep. [He stacks the cleaned plate on top of the others before he reaches for another.] Anyway, my reputation has been through the grinder so many times already; she’d just be wasting valuable time and money that could be used elsewhere. [Like Stark Resilient.]

But good to know. [His lips quirk up as he looks over at him.] I’ll keep that in mind for the future.

You better, or I'll sue you for libel. ( which is impossible what with his lack of social security number and being legally alive status and all (and also his being dirt-poor), but ask scott if he cares. ) I didn't spend years of my life watching Judge Judy for nothing.

( okay he never actually watched judge judy, but scott is a compulsive liar when it's convenient.

he looks to the collection of dirty dishes and tries not to look too distressed when he sees how many are still left, what the hell? )

I'm worth a little more than "every single person who defames you", though, right? Besides my cootielessness, I also make a mean chicken sandwich. You don't find a guy like that just anywhere, buddy.

[The number of dishes are a little on the ridiculous side, but they deserve whatever they’re getting for forgetting something as simple as a wallet. (To be fair, when there is an emergency situation, you don’t exactly think about what personal items you’re carrying with you.)

He would have called Pep to take care of the bill for him (even at the risk of getting scolded), but a) they’re in France and b) the restaurant only accepts cash.]

You’re going to have to try harder than that, Scott. [He moves around him to grab a stack of the dirty dishes after he’s finished rinsing the last plate in his pile.] You do make a pretty impressive sandwich though. We should probably have that instead next time. [He sets the dishes down into the sink, reaching for the sponge and then the soap.]

Oh, so the guy tells me now that he would've been happy with a sandwich. Wow. Awesome. ( that gets a flick of water happily aimed at tony's face. god fucking damn. ) Say this stuff before I put on a necktie next time, okay?

Do you see how this thing even looks on me? ( a brief gesture to his general person (and the relatively stylish necktie, admittedly) and a disbelieving look accomplishes the whole 'look at this shit' routine. ) I'm one of the three stooges, man.

But you know, to be fair, ( his head ducks a little, just to hide the softness in his smile. ) this whole dish-washing thing ain't so bad.

Edited 2016-06-16 23:38 (UTC)

You look fine, Scott. [More than fine, if he’s going to be honest.

Wiping a bit of water from his cheek with the back of his hand, Tony grins at him before he returns the favor with some foam from the sponge. He then resumes scrubbing away at the soup bowl in his hand.] The three scrooges have nothing on you. If anything, you should consider wearing a suit more often.

[He shifts his gaze over at him following his next words.] It’s not? [He cants his head to the side thoughtfully. The repetition to the routine is kind of relaxing in a weird way – and the company isn’t half-bad too.] You wouldn’t rather be mopping the floor or scrubbing the toilets instead?

Only if you were my mop. ( he's just joking. it probably shows in the smile that immediately follows, the fact that scott's just letting the soap bubbles seep into his clothes instead of wiping them away. ) Nah, but it's like--you know, our hands'll get wrinkled as all hell, but at least we're together.

That is usually the formula for success. I mean, duh, look at all the shit we've accomplished. ( both in terms of their "hero" game and the whole security-technological advancements game, which is kind of amazing now that scott thinks about it. tony stark's been in his life a long time. ) It's a lot of shit, man.

... which makes me think, huh, maybe we should be scrubbing toilets.

( shut up, scott. )

Edited (WHY DO I KEEP MAKING MISTAKES) 2016-06-17 01:09 (UTC)

Cute. [Scott isn’t wrong.

They have accomplished a lot together over the course of the years. Tony usually has a habit of working alone, but, whenever he gets the opportunity to form ideas and just create with other people of great minds and unique talents, a lot of amazing things have come into fruition out of it.

He also just really enjoys working with Scott in general. He’s fun, smart, creative, and enthusiastic. It never feels stressful around him and he can appreciate it.

His life is stressful enough without it seeping into what could otherwise be a relaxing work environment – unless external factors dictate it. Fortunately, he chooses to work alone in those instances if it’s his problem. (It normally is.)] We might have done remarkable things together, Scott, [He adds the bowl to the soapy pile as he picks up a plate next.] but I’m not scrubbing toilets with you. You can do that on your own time.

Ouch. Oh my God. I thought we were friends.

( but they are, and scott knows it. through thick and thin he's always going to be tony stark's pal (which is probably going to kick him in the ass one of these days), but he wouldn't be living his semi-normal life without the guy in the first place.

it's nice not to be another ex-con who just gets sent back to prison because they haven't got anything outside. he might not have his daughter any more, but at least he has that.

scott starts grabbing from tony's soapy pile to rinse them. maybe they'll work faster this way. )

Then again, I get it. You were rich. Scrubbing toilets is a reality you aren't ready to face yet--but one day, man. ( he spritzes tony just a little. ) One day you'll be just as slick as me.

[Now that garners an actual laugh out of him.

Scrubbing toilets isn’t a reality he’s ready to face yet. If Scott only knew. Shaking his head, Tony rubs the sponge on one side of the dish, watching it remove the leftover bits of food off of it.] I was homeless once, y’know? [He looks over at him, casually flipping the plate over.] Back when I was still drinking.

[A pause and then:] We hadn’t met yet. [It was back when Obadiah Stane was still alive, when he stole the company right from under him and left him a drunken, broken mess on the streets. It was the lowest point of his life, one he’ll never forget.]

I scrubbed toilets then. Did a lot of things, actually. [Anything he could to scrounge up enough money to buy more alcohol, to waste himself away on it.] So, I think that should qualify me as “slick”. [He keeps his tone light, easy, as if he’s talking about something irrelevant, something in his past, something that doesn’t still haunt him to this day.

Setting the dish aside, Tony goes for another one in the quickly diminishing stack.] How many more of these do we have left to do? [They still need to make the trip back to the States since they can't possibly afford to rent a room here.]

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