bakerstreet | Appearances Don't Matter

Appearances Don't Matter

It all goes so well when people don't see you, so it's easier to hide away. And why wouldn't you want to keep away from the eyes of others? You're hideous to the world at large, despite your own opinions of yourself, no matter if you're human or otherwise. You don't appear to be anything most would want to be around, much less befriend. If you're human, your appearance could be chalked up to mutation, a freak chance at birth, or an an accident later in life; if you're not human, you just happen to exist in a place where those who look like you would never be accepted by the mainstream. Maybe it's not even your whole appearance, though. Your point of contention could be something like an injury or prosthetic that makes you feel not whole, though it may be insignificant in the view of the kind and open-minded. There's more comfort in covering that up and not letting anyone get close.

In any case, you don't expect someone to love you, be attracted to you, or even want to be with you, especially a beautiful someone. Yet somehow, somebody does...or, at least, it seems that way. Will this new development last? Can you put your demons at bay long enough for it to do so?

HOW TO PLAY

Comment with your character, canon, preferences, and whether or not you want shipping only or smut. Also, information about what side your character fits into best is imperative!
Reply to others.
Use the RNG to determine your prompt or choose your own.

PROMPTS

Meeting | You've never seen anyone who doesn't balk at your appearance, but they don't.
Growing Close | It starts as a friendship or an alliance, the grows to- more?
Jealousy | There's no way they could see you as anything special. Surely, they have someone more handsome or beautiful in their sights.
Realizing Feeling | At first, you didn't realize how your heart was feeling just by them being around, but now it's becoming clear: you're falling for them.
Can't Tell Them | You'll ruin your bond with them should you tell them how you really feel. They'll be disgusted, so you'll keep mum.
Touch | They touch you without a hint of distaste, which could be a big plus compared to what you usually deal with.
No Difference | Actually, they can't tell that you're different, due to lack of vision or something similar. All they can discern is your personality.
The Way It Used to Be | You didn't use to look this way, and it's hard to come to terms with your new look and how it affects
Confession | You can't keep in your emotions anymore, or they accidentally get revealed.
Good | They share your feelings! You never could have imagined this, but you couldn't ask for more.
Bad | ...oh, you thought they...oh, they're so sorry.
Scared | "Friendship" nor a "relationship" was never on their mind. In fact, they're scared of you.
Cruel | All of their supposed kindness was actually just them using you for their benefit. To think, you really believed they cared about you!
Defense | They step on the line for you, standing up to those who'd consider you a monster or somehow lesser.
Uncovered | You're exposed and they can see everything you've tried to hide. You want to crawl into a hole and die. They want to keep you from feeling that way.
Shouldn't Be | People oppose your relationship, and there may be some points to the arguments.
Intimacy | Even being close, which most take for granted, could be a new and possibly uncomfortable event for you.
Smut | The obligatory smut option, with all the baggage, angst, and difficulties that may come with it.
Misunderstanding | You heard them insinuate that you're nothing but the ugly outside, or, at least, that's what you think came out.
Bad End | The messy breakup option...or worse.
Good End | The happy ending option...or better.
WILDCARD

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The worst part was that it hadn't been the worst sexual experience of his life. That dubious honor went to Madrigal's first boyfriend, back when Madrigal was still a nobody poor kid nicknamed Mads, a skinny angry fourteen year old who thought his twenty year old bar-hopper small time criminal boyfriend was going to change for him, or at least help him pay the rent. And he did the latter, but he hauled Madrigal into the world of small time crime, drinking, and smoking, a habit he still fought to give up. Smoking lasted longer than the relationship. Smoking used to be the only stable thing in a constantly changing world. These days, he tries to keep it down to only when he has to have a cigarette or he'll lose his mind.

He breathed in deeply, the smells that Kurt somehow managed to acquire always making him a breath of fresh air. There's a humanity to the moment, a sort of reminder in it that Madrigal is, after all is said and done, still a person despite how heavy the world can feel. Right now he was just a guy in love, holding onto the one he loves, enraptured by his eyes and his face and every perfect thing about him. Kurt was beautiful, outside and in.

Taking in that reaction, a pang of lust went through him, one he ruthlessly pushed down. He wanted to keep doing it, except it felt wrong, having all these advantages over him on this topic. Madrigal focused on the conversation instead.]

Not more wary in the 'trust no one' sense. I'm a realist, not a pessimist. I don't think people are bad. But I know a lot of people have learned to put themselves first because life is so harsh, and that means sometimes they'll step on or use other people to try to save themselves. People are good, but when things are desperate, they can give into some pretty bad impulses.

...my mom, she was a mutant, too. Don't think anybody knew that but me and my uncle, God rest his soul. She could change people's emotions and transfer them to someone else or to herself. So she tried to help people in our town who couldn't afford professional help who needed it. Eventually, she absorbed so much of all that negativity and insanity, it was just too much to live with. I got home from first grade early one day to find her overdosed on the couch, just... done, with life and everything it kept throwing at her. The paramedics, they couldn't do anything. She just burned out on everything. But I think she was trying to do the right thing, she just forgot about her own safety somewhere along the way.

You helped me. And when we see people worse off than us, yeah, I'm down for helping them. Just - you can't save everybody, Kurt. You can't even try to. It doesn't end well. I know you want to. I love that about you. But we've all got limits. So be you, just remember that some people aren't good or are in a corner. Not everybody is safe. I don't want you to burn out or get burned. Am I making any sense? I've never really talked out all this emotional stuff before. It's not a thing in my life.

[Kurt got lucky with a semi-decent life in the circus; he had an adoptive family, somewhere dry and warm to sleep, people to talk to. It may not have been the 'ideal' life that everyone wants, but he was happy there. Of course, all good things eventually come to a grinding halt and that was what happened when the acts began drying up. There were less and less shows, fewer people to entertain and not enough money to support it all, so he ended up on the street for the longest time. The place where they are staying is somewhere he can call an actual 'home' and it's got everything he could want and then some now. He was even willing to put up with the smoking habit because hey - everyone had their vice.

It had taken him a few tries to do so, but once he was sure that his stomach was done doing back-flips and his pulse stopped throbbing in his ears, the cobalt-tinted male dropped his face back into Madrigal's neck and inhaled slowly through his nose, releasing the breath in a huff. He didn't understand why he was so sensitive to the touch, specifically the other male's. Maybe it had something to do with the electricity? Either way, he enjoyed the way it felt far more than he'd anticipated and, as badly as he wanted Madrigal to continue, it was probably for the best that he didn't.

He easily brought his focus back to their conversation though when Madrigal began to speak about his past once more.

Nightcrawler sat silently, taking in everything the other was telling him. He knew that he was far too trusting and it could very well get him into too much trouble, but how did one change the way they had been their whole life? He couldn't wake up one day and decide that he didn't want to have this personality anymore and do a complete one-eighty as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Could he?

Absolutely not. Even if it was what he wanted to do, the idea was ludicrous - he couldn't treat others the way some humans had treated him or not help someone in need. More than once, Kurt had given the shirt off his back (sometimes in a literal sense) to some stranger on the street and even if they hadn't shown any appreciation for it, he felt better about himself. It built him up at the end of the day and dammit, why shouldn't he have the possibility of trying to save everyone?

Gritting his teeth together, the smaller mutant attempted to reign in his overactive emotions, his hands clenching and moving to tuck between his own and the blond's chests. Hell, if he'd gotten the chance and met Madrigal before the tragedy of him losing his mother, Kurt would have done everything in his power to help her survive - for herself, for her son. It would have been the least he could do.]

Ja, you are making sense ... I cannot help everyone and I should not, but how do I walk past the helpless people on the streets that are worse off than we are? How do I ignore their pleas for help and continue to walk as if they are non-existent?

[Life had been happy enough when he was a little kid, when his mother was still around. They had never been a family with much money to their name, but they had managed, living off of ramen and giant bags of cereal, a permanent state of repeating days that had suited Madrigal just fine. He'd been loved by his parents and back then had loved them back. There were good times buried under the years that followed. Once his mother was gone everything got desperate. They needed money. He needed something to keep him sane. Smoking had been that, for a longer time that it should have been. It was easier to keep the habit down to a minimum now that he wasn't so stressed - now that he wasn't alone.

There were some lines that Madrigal was used to people crossing and some he just didn't know what to do with. He'd made a habit of not getting to know people back home too well if he thought there was a chance they might end up having drunken sex. The last thing he needed was a relationship and another person to fail to be enough for. He wasn't keen on getting rejected for being a mutant afterwards, either, so the world as he knew it had once fallen into two neat little categories: those he could wring favors from post-sex and those he actually gave a damn about. It was a morally bankrupt way to live, but it was the way he'd always functioned. With Kurt, he'd let him in and learned to care about him well in advance of any real meaningful physical contact.

It was a real relationship. And he tried to swallow down the feeling that he wasn't worthy of that because of the past, but it was hard, with how innocently Kurt pressed against him, to comprehend what a miracle this was.]

I don't know. I learned to do it because I had to survive. I'd try to give people directions on places to go, things they might have some luck swiping, but you just can't push yourself too hard. Try to take on the weight of the world and it'll crush you. If you can, just try to do something little where you can. If you burn yourself out early in life, you won't be able to help anyone at all later.

I'm just worried, alright? I don't have all the answers. All I know is, I don't want you to end up like my Mom, curled up crying at night because there was someone you couldn't help. 'Cause we're just two people, Kurt, we're not gonna be able to fix the entire world, and that's nobody's fault.

[Really, it's society's fault, and they can't fix society. Even if they weren't mutants, two people couldn't change the way whole cities worked. The world wasn't like that. The best they could do was try to make it through life on a day to day basis, but that was a hollow way to live, one that left even Madrigal, who was actively attempting not to care, with a lot of regrets and a hollow feeling where his heart used to be.

What filled that hollowness up lately was Kurt. He rested his head on top of Kurt's, holding onto him securely, a mixture of hormones and actual love swirling together into something he couldn't quite identify. If he decided to, he could probably get Kurt to go along with pretty much anything he wanted in bed, and that thought was terrifying, another example of where Kurt's trusting nature could lead him if he wasn't careful. Madrigal wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with so much trust and honesty thrown at him like this. He wanted to keep Kurt away from the world, its' cruelty, its' hate, but that wouldn't help him, not in the long run.

Maybe it was best just to say it:] This place doesn't have the rape rate Charleston has, but if you're not careful - look, a lot of people pull ploys of 'oh I'm so helpless' to lure other people in. It's a great way to vanish without a trace. And I'm not prepared to lose you or find your body in a dumpster somewhere, Kurt. Pretty sure that'd break me and make me live up t' the Electro Pyscho nickname.

[He held onto Kurt tighter, maybe a touch too tightly.] I can't lose you, y'know?

[Compared to Madrigal, Kurt's street life had probably been a little more luxurious; he'd been able to support himself, find a decent place to stay dry and keep what little bit of clothes he had on his back. No one had attempted to take them from him, so he was lucky in that department and if anyone had called the cops on him at his old hiding spot, it was easy enough to hide in the shadows or up in the rafters until they left. All things he'd learned while trying to make it by in the street.

Being avoided wasn't something that he enjoyed, but maybe there was an up-side to this whole being blue and looking like a mutant thing - it definitely kept away unwanted attention. For the most part. Coming home with cuts, burns and bruises was something that he had grown accustomed to, though it seemed to happen less and less since he'd taken to living with Madrigal. Perhaps it was some kind of sign? Maybe the other mutant was his guardian angel? Kurt could live with something like that.

The fact that they'd gotten so used to each other's company - that their friendship had become something much more than that - he was beyond more than content with the idea.]

Do you really think I could burn myself out? [He couldn't help it; the question was a legitimate one.] Nein, I can't help everyone, but those that I can ...

I want to make a difference in the world. I want to know that I did not live my life in vain. I will take your advice and try not to carry the weight of the world, though if I can lift some of the burden off of others, I would like to do so without consequence.

[There it was, all dumped out in the open in front of them. They were both struggling and yet Kurt - naive, optimistic, possibly too helpful - wanted to make sure the other people living on the street didn't suffer. If certain humans knew him, they'd probably be sick with just how kind the boy really was.

What mattered to him most though was the other mutant in his arms and if it came down to it, he wouldn't hesitate to do whatever was needed of him to protect Madrigal. Despite his pacifistic nature, the demon-eyed teen would fight to his last breath to protect him - even if it meant sacrificing his own life for Madrigal's. Anything the electro-wielder would ask of him, Kurt would not hesitate; he had bared everything before him, willing to give the male every bit of himself and there was irrevocably no fear.

He barely shifted in Madrigal's lap, bringing himself up enough to meet those blue eyes, his arms encircling his waist once again.] I understand and I would not want to do anything that would hurt you in any way, Madrigal - that includes causing you to lose control of yourself.

[The blue-skinned mutant had to bite his tongue at Madrigal's comment because what he would have spoken in return to the 'dumpster' comment was possibly far too dark a joke. He squeaked - yes, squeaked - at the tightening grip, but did not complain. Instead, he clenched his own arms and returned his face to Madrigal's neck to speak against his throat.] I refuse to go anywhere and I am far too stubborn to let you go.

I think you could, yeah. Burning yourself out is about compassion being stronger than reason, and you've got a big heart, Kurt. Even after the kind of things the streets use to break people, you've got more kindness than you've got resources. It's not a terrible thing. Most people can't honestly claim they have problems with being too nice. An' there's nothing wrong with wanting to help other people.

Just - I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't forget to help yourself, too. You matter, not just to me but to the people you've helped, too. So try to find a balance. The world needs people like you.

[Kurt was the one who seemed to be part angel. Sometimes it was hard to believe just how incredibly unaware of his own goodness he was. Madrigal had always edged away from faith, wary of anything that promised comfort when life had so far proven to him promises were lies waiting to happen. Then he met Kurt, and suddenly the idea of religion didn't seem so oppressive or vicious anymore. There were the kind of people who kept priests free of child molestation charges, then there were people who took the actual message of the church to heart. Kurt was one of the latter. He was a rarity in that and many other ways, all of which were more incentive to try to keep him safe.

He kissed the side of Kurt's head, affectionate and protective in equal measures.] I know I'm prob'bly overthinking this. Comes with the territory at this point. Just stay safe and I'll try to keep most of my worryin' in my head.

And, um... [he inhaled, tensing a little to prepare himself for asking,] Since we're 'together', now, I need to know: do you have any evil ex-boyfriends I need to go beat up? [What he really wanted to know is if Kurt's heart belonged to some mutant from the circus days and Madrigal was just filling up a slot, but there are some things that even he couldn't just come right out and say.]

I ... I can't help it, Madrigal - I see someone in need and my instincts scream to help them, but ... you are right. Not everyone will treat me with as much kindness and most of them don't, so I should choose my battles carefully and be more specific on those that I do help.

Maybe one of these days you could come out with me and we could do it together, that way I do not over-extend my hand to someone who might not be as deserving of it. That and I would enjoy having you by my side when others give me that certain 'look' that I believe you might be speaking of ...

[He'd never tried to push his religion on other people - just offered them the idea that someone was there for them. Kurt knew Madrigal's idea on it all and he was fine with allowing the other mutant to believe what he wanted; it didn't keep him from praying for Madrigal's safety, happiness or anything else that he felt needed to be prayed for. If anything, it made him clutch his rosary tighter at night and beg even harder.

The caress to the side of his head drew a serene sounding sigh, his chin tipping enough so he could rest his lips against Madrigal's cheek and return the kiss.] Do not stress yourself so much. I will continue to do my best to avoid the people that I know are confrontational.

[He blinked in a confused manner toward the electric mutant's form going taut, brows knitting together in concern, but once the question was asked, a mischievous little smirk tugged his lips upward.] No, I do not believe I have any leftover suitors that you need to worry about.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Appearances Don't Matter

Well now I want waffles and have none. So I'm going to bed instead because reasons.

a-awww! i would so totally share with you. 8D sleep well though~

Sorry about the delay; my uncle is in the hospital so I stalled all tags for a bit

no, no! that is ABSOLUTELY understandable. is your uncle okay?

He's stable at the moment, yes. He had a stroke.

oh my goodness! holy-- ffffff i hope that he gets well soon!