A Softer Meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2016-06-03 09:10 am
asoftermeme) wrote in bakerstreet2016-06-03 09:10 am
Things we lost
 Mutual Healing Shipping Meme |
| Healing doesn't come quickly, whether the need comes from physical or mental wounds. But you're trying regain your strength - and yourself. People, as a general rule, are kind, or at least not outright inflammatory to you, it seems. Still, you just can't connect with them. No matter how nice, how caring, they don't understand. They've never experienced anything like what you've gone through, or they're not like you in a way that lets them see what you still go through; they have no frame of reference. Sure, they have sympathy, but it's not the same. So there's no real connection, despite any friendliness. It's so easy, then, to feel detached... ...until you meet them, in this place of both death and healing. They may not have been through the exact same struggles, they may not be exactly the same as you, but they know what darkness is light. How they handle this fact may be better or worse than how you do, yet you can see yourself in their actions. And for once? There's connection; more than that, too. Slowly, you can feel yourself opening up towards them, and then, falling for them. Is this something your used to? Will you fight your feelings, or will you jump at the opportunity to be with someone who can begin to get you? You may have little choice in the matter, as your instincts may just reach out to be with whatever compatible contact you can get. That's better, in the long run, though. Who else could have wounds like yours?
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Fingon || Tolkien || Open
Random meeting in the Third Age because yay RP?
And so the young Wood-elf sat before a fire, watching the stars and trying to rest her mind and weary body. However, she was still quite alert and aware of her surroundings, and so she sensed that their was someone lingering not to far away, watching her. She listened carefully for a moment, her back stiffening and her hand going to the knives at her side. When she sensed no ill intent, she sighed a little, taking her hand away from her weapons.
"Whoever you are, you may as well come and sit." She invited, indicating a nearby log. "Unless you prefer skulking in the dark."
Works for me! :3
"I had thought maybe this time I had moved quiet enough!" Rueful, but not upset. A sword was strapped at his waist and a bow and quiver of arrows lay against his back, but he touched neither as he slowly accepted her invitation and sat on the log.
He tried not to stare at her though, instead reaching into a small bag he'd carried long. "Are you hungry? 'Tis not much, but I met some kind Men who gave me a few berry cakes." For a song and some aid against an Orc raid, but he made no mention of that.
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"And it would be foolish not to pay attention to my surroundings, especially since I am alone in unfamiliar territory." She was accustomed to being out on patrol, but not to traveling outside of her forest. "I am sure if I had not been paying attention, you would have been quiet enough to escape notice."
When he offered her food she held up her hand to politely refuse. "It is kind of you to offer, but no thank you."
Rey | SW:TFA | OTA
Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier | MCU | OTA
Re: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier | MCU | OTA
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[ Natasha had to clean up a lot of messes for a lot of people, so it was no surprise that she was the one who went in front of the council, even after the truths of her past (and present) were spilled out into the world. She made a good face for the cameras and because she could charm her way into and kick ass her way out of almost any situation. This is no different. If you want to arrest me she said, the edge of a threat in her voice, you'll know where to find me. But that wasn't true at all. Steve and Sam and struck out to find the Winter Soldier. Steve was so sure that he could get his Bucky back, and Sam tended to side with Steve. As for Natasha, she sides with herself. The truth, after all, is always a matter of circumstance, but in this case she's been there. She knows how lost and out of control feels. She knows what it is to have someone crawl inside your head, tell you who you are, and what you're not. She knows it a little too intimately, which is why she doesn't go to find the other two. They are terribly far off the mark.
Her shoulder is still healing, but the bandage is covered by her clothing. It's easy to blend with the tourists weaving in and out of the Smithsonian's exhibits. She isn't surprised when she finds him, but she's cautious, because he is a literal timebomb with a very short fuse, and now back in his own mind, shattered after half a century of being wiped and rebuilt, she imagines that the fuse is even shorter. When she speaks her voice is quietly casual, but she turns herself enough that he'll see her face. She just hopes she's judged correctly that he won't want to draw attention to himself in public. ]
They're looking for you, you know.
[ Everyone. The people who wanted to kill him, the people who wanted to save him. He's the world's most wanted and she's found him in the only place he can think to look to try and remember who he was before HYDRA. She holds out her hands to show she's not armed (presently). Maybe that will make a difference, maybe it won't, but she tries what always works on Steve, and that's humor. Maybe the two of them are more alike than not, and maybe he's just 'awake' enough for that to make a difference. ]
Look, we've already ruled out bikinis, and now I can't wear spaghetti straps because of you. At least indulge a lady with a conversation?
[ She won't keep them here because that would be reckless, but she also isn't going to try to take him forcibly anywhere. If he's watched the news at all trying to catch up, he should know she could also be considered a wanted woman and probably doesn't want to be noticed. Her motives though aren't exactly clear. ]
sorry it took so long, this is beautiful btw
When it's clear to him she wont leave he turns to her slightly, eyes hollow and full of both regret and confusion.] They should forget I exist. It's better that way.
Re: sorry it took so long, this is beautiful btw
[ The look in his eyes is familiar, but only because she has seen the same in her own. The hollow, empty regret. The anger, the confusion. She’d had her mind wiped on more than one occasion, entirely new lives put in its place. A teacher, of all things, it was hard to imagine Natasha being responsible for teaching children anything other than how to fight. He tells her they should give up, forget he exists and there’s a slight upturn in the side of her mouth, a very familiar smirk. Natasha isn’t who she could have been, but she wasn’t entirely what they had tried to make her either. It was how she knew that in spite of his doubt that there was healing that could be done, but Steve and all his best intentions in the world could never understand what that would take. ]
You know that’s not going to happen. He’s never forgotten you, and he never will. [ She pauses for a beat before she adds, ] Neither will I. I don’t know how much memory you have left of me, but I have all of mine...mostly. This isn’t the place to discuss it though.
[ A new group of people filters into the exhibit and Natasha turns so that her body is flush against the front of him. Public displays of affection and all of that. But did she have to kiss Steve and his best friend in such rapid succession? She had a very specific skill set, and while generally she didn’t care who she used it on, that was a bit much for her conscience-bearing self these days, but, after all, in the world according to Nick Fury, she was comfortable with anything. ] Don’t you dare hit me. [ It’s all the warning that he gets before one arm is wrapped around his shoulders and her mouth is pressed against his ear. ] Just let them pass.
[ It wasn’t exactly the same as making out, so she was thankful of that, but being that close to him brought up memories that she was quite sure he didn’t still retain. Once they were gone, she backs off, but still faces him so that she can see over his shoulder, watching his back. ] I want to help you, and not in a way that’s going to get you killed, locked up, or frozen again. You can’t trust anyone right now, including yourself, and probably me if we’re completely honest. But try. It’s not like you haven’t already shot me twice, what’s a third time?
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If you were smart, you would forget you ever saw me and walk away. [He didn't want to be cold, he just didn't want her to get to close. He didn't want to risk being double crossed again. He just got his freedom back..he wants a chance to figure it out before he looses it again.
He stiffens when the group of tourists passes through, but makes no move to pay them any mind. Natasha is standing too close though, close enough he could touch her and it's all he can do to not push her further away. He doesn't like that she's so close...he can smell her.
She wants to help him? It sounds too good to be true. He doesn't trust himself or anyone else, she's right about that but she's also right..he's shot her twice already. She's still recovering from the last one but here she is trying to help him. So against his better judgement, he took a leap of faith.]
Where did you have in mind?
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[ Outside of the museum she has to make faster decisions, but she also knows she can't just act, because he isn't going to just do what she says for the hell of it. She decides to explain while walking, as quietly and efficiently as possible. ] I have a safe house. No one knows about it. [ Not Steve, not SHIELD, just her. Which also means that she's giving it up as a safe house in order to get him somewhere, well, safe. Because she certainly wouldn't continue using a safe house if someone knew where it was, and if that someone also sometimes happened to put bullets through her--definitely no. She wouldn't have trusted herself if she was in his position, so at some point she stops short and turns to face him, although it nearly ends up with a collision and once again with the entirely too close thing. ]
Look, someone was sent to kill me once and they made another call. [ And now he was the closest thing she'd call to a best friend, and Clint had no basis to do what he did, but it saved her. Perhaps this was just another way to dry her ledger a bit more. ] So am I.
[ It wasn't so much that she was sent to kill him so much as there seemed to just be a standing order to do it on sight. She also knows that HYDRA wants him back, badly, and that they will be looking for him too. He can't look everywhere at once, it's impossible. ] Will you come with me? [ She asks because if he refuses, she's not going to fight him in the middle of the street, so she wants to know before they get to where she's parked a car. ]
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[He doesn't think he deserves her help or her understanding, but with everything that has happened and is happening, he could use someone with out expectations of him in his corner. Steve would be too much for him to handle right now...so as long as it's just them... Just us, Natalia. And don't tell Steve.
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I'm not going to tell Steve, [ she says as they pull out into traffic. Natasha is very focused on the various mirrors. There's a reason she's good at her job, and it wasn't because she made sloppy mistakes. It's harder to watch your back when you're not sure which side exactly is coming for you. Natasha assumes it's all of them, and it's going to turn what should have been a ten minute ride to one that will take just over an hour because of all the back tracking, wrong turning, and retracing she did to ensure that no one was actually behind them. Of course, it also made sure that Bucky would have a hard time finding his way back to exactly where he'd been if he decides to leave.
She isn't particularly chatty for the drive because she's focusing on keeping them safe. It's not the first time she's been in charge of it. Before he disappeared, she was more or less Banner's body guard to ensure that no one got close enough to shoot him or otherwise provoke the Big Guy to come out. As they get closer though she relaxes. A little. She glances over at him, trying to gauge his mood, where his mind is at the moment. ] I really am on your side here, Buck, [ she says quietly. Maybe he believes that, maybe he doesn't. She wouldn't, but she has to try and convince him that he should. It would be really easy for her to be leading him into a trap--she isn't, but it's still a possibility that exists. She appreciates the kind of leap of faith he's taking.
They arrive in a small neighborhood. There are people who live around, but no one is too close together, and most have fences of some variety. It's a sleepy stretch at the end of a dead-end road that just backed up to a wooded area. ] Come on. [ She lets him follow rather than making him go first, and she's quick to unlock the door. Natasha can't imagine what it would be like to not live looking over your shoulder all the time. If he comes in, she shuts the door behind him and locks it. She shrugs out of her jacket, carefully. It's a tank top underneath because that was the easiest way to be clothed over the bandages. Those are visible now. A reminder that of all the people he should have not trusted, she should probably be at the top of that list. ] Can I get you anything?
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Thanks. For not telling Steve. He's better off not having to deal with me. [ He isn't happy about it, but he's not dragging his once best friend into his mess. Steve deserves better than him and will be much happier without him in his life.
He's thankful for the silence as they drive. He's not used to inane chatter any longer, it actually annoys him now. If you don't have anything important to say don't speak. He instead watches both her and their surroundings. Every time her hand shifts towards her waist or the door he tenses, on alert for a double cross.]
No one's on my side. [He replies to her admission. He;s dangerous, he's not stable. No one should be on his side, not even her.
When the arrived at her safe house he's hesitant to get out of the car, but ultimately relents. He followed her inside, casing the place as soon as he is inside, looking for the quickest ways to get to the door or a window and get out. He needed to be able to escape should the need arise. When she shrugged out of her coat he winced. He could see the bruising and the bandage from where he'd shot her. He'd shot her....him.]
No. I'm fine. [He said when she offered him something. He stepped further into the house and into the living room taking a hesitant seat on the sofa along the wall. He could see the whole room and there was a wall at his back, he was safe here. Not really...but maybe just a little bit.]
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No one can be on your side if you don't let them. [ She references his comment in the car prior to their arrival. Steve is definitely on his side, or at least the side of the Bucky he knew. But he knows who he's become, and still wants to save him, so that has to count for something. And she's sitting there across from him, one leg crossed over the other with an angry looking wound on her shoulder that looks way worse under the bandages. And that should count for something, too.
Natasha cracks open her water and takes a sip, letting herself lean back into the overly-cushy chair which probably held a small arsenal of weapons. But her hands are in plain sight, and that's intentional. ] I have to admit, I don't really have a plan here. [ How comforting. ] I just...[ She leans forward and the shock of red hair falls around her jaw, but she brushes it back in place almost instantly. It's hard to tell if she's feigning self-consciousness or if she really is at a loss for words here. But when she speaks, there's really no doubting the sincerity in her voice. She won't even look at him, she can't. Because she doesn't want him to see everything that she's been so careful to conceal. ]
I thought you were dead. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story—rarely seen, even more rarely survived. My track record has been pretty good though so far. [ It's another attempt at humor, but it falls just a little flat. Natasha is usually so good at planning, but perhaps she didn't think she'd even make it this far with him, so this part isn't something she's planned. ] In any event, [ she changes the subject quickly, ] Just consider this a pause. A way to get as right in your head as you can—without worrying about anyone coming for you.
I dare them to try. [ There is an unmistakable threat in those words, an over-protectiveness. He doesn't need her protection, and in his mind, he seems to not think he deserves it. ]
Kazuhira Miller | Metal Gear | OTA, gen welcome
Agent Washington | Red vs Blue | ota
Emma Swan|OUAT
ABEL ➞ STARFIGHTER