The Sex From Space Meme

[sock_00194]

> Greetings, we are obtaining your objective . . .
> Searching SEXybase for matches . . .
> Object of desire obtained

A satellite supercomputer has found your location, read your mind, figured out you were horny (what a surprise), and found the perfect sex partner for you.

Your partner is being beamed down to your location RIGHT NOW. What do?

1. Post.
2. Strongly recommended that you do not post a no-text opener. Include your location and details about what your horny character is doing.
3. Responders are your character's PERFECT SEX MATCH.
4. Figure out why.
5. Use sex.

Comments

Superman | It's Superman srsly what do you want

[superdeep]

[ Just sunbathing in the nude and having a dream.... ]

[maskaphobia]

[just laying on his back next to him similarly in the nude with his arm draped over Superman's rock hard abs.

it's a lovely image. blissful, even.]

[killercroc]

[thud thud thud.

in yon distance, you hear the faint pitter patter of feet stomping cross the sandy shoreline.

look into the sun and smile for croc is here, a big toothy grin spread cross his face he is so excited and hungry.

hungry for....










































dick ]

SHODAN | System Shock

[lookatyouhacker]

[Well currently, she's inflicting some horrifically painful and unsightly torturous augmentations on some hapless people test subjects with the help of her minions.]

I'm terribly sorry

[madcapmarsupial]

[Doo de doo, just drinking a nice can of Foster's beer when---

Hey what's going on in this room--JESUS FUCK THIS IS UNHOLY GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

Booga's too scared shitless to speak, his vocal chords have stopped working. Just please end this horrible nightmare, please.]

skwisgaar skwigelf, metalocalypse

[arpeggiosfromhell]

[ Skwisgaar has just finished fucking all the grandmas at the Samhain Home For the Elderly, but he is still up and raring for more. ]

[moralcrisis]

[ Behold Skwisgaar, you have met your match. She has just fucked an entire regiment of SHINRA soldiers and sucked every last drop of life-producing seed the men would have produced in their life, but she reclines and spreads her legs, her vagina ravenous for more.

Her body is ready. ]

[arpeggiosfromhell]

[ Skwisgaar wastes no time in climbing on top of Aerith, guiding himself to her entrance and then plunging inside her with one BRUTAL thrust. ]

Huhh!!!

[ She is so wet and sticky and filled with Mako-infused sperm and it feels so awesome that the guitar god has to take a brief moment to acclimatize to the sensation before he finally starts moving. ]

Yuh . . . you likes dat? [ He pulls his hips back, only to thrust forward again, once again burying his entire Falukorv inside the flower girl's mossy cleft. ] You likes having mes insides you?

[consultative]

[ Sherlock Holmes is splayed over his couch in 221b Baker St. He is wearing his dressing gown and two nicotine patches.

He appears to be deep in thought, his hands pressed together prayer-like under his chin, however he has a stonking huge erection at the moment. ]

Asami Ryuichi | Viewfinder

[inurviewfinder]

[In a hotel bathtub, methodically scrubbing blood from under his fingernails. A glass of amber liquid rests on the edge of the bath, along with an ashtray. The water is tinted a very faint shade of pink.

It has been a messy night.]

[li_sensei]

[ It's all a bit overloaded for the middle-school instructor who is still wondering how he got dragged into all this. One minute there were shots, the next - this big fellow showed up in the school hallway, saying that there had been a mistake.

By mistake, Li supposed he meant: nobody meant for him, Li, to be around while the school principal was gunned down in cold blood.

Everyone knew Masataka was on the take. He must have gotten himself involved in something serious. Li didn't know about things like this. He didn't know about much of anything that lived outside old books. He held that kind of knowledge in front of himself defensively when questioned: I didn't see anything and I don't know anything, I'm just the classics teacher.

This hotel room probably cost more than his monthly salary. He looked nervous.

He held a glass, the twin of Asami's, but empty; the ice cubes clanked around in it. He tried to look like a really nice guy when he looked down at the guy in the tub. Like the stranger's nakedness was no big deal. ]

So, ah... [ He pushed up his glasses. ] ...You... do this often?

[inurviewfinder]

Bathe? [The cool look he shot his guest was cut with mild amusement.] I try to make it a habit.

[He'd been really... inconvenient, this guy. Showing up out of nowhere, and how did they even blunder into a stupid mistake like that? He would have to sort that out later. There were more immediate concerns.

He picked up his own drink, extending it in an offer. His freshly-scrubbed fingers were leaving steam prints on the chilled glass.] Help yourself.

[His direct golden gaze made it obvious that the offer was not particularly kind. He was only taking care of his guest's momentary weakness, and only because it wasn't important enough to take advantage of.]

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist at all. <3

[blue_hearted_jumi_knight]

*It was pretty weird how dimensional spells could go wrong. And hell, he didn't expect to be caught in the middle of a damn cannongunfight. Of course, for all his power, he was pretty much only good at protecting himself. Bugger.

*So the jewel-hearted (literally. Look at his chest!) immortal just... sits at the side of the bath with his back to the bath. He said he'd do what he could to help him out, and he plans on abiding by his word. Besides, it's not like he can easily go back home now that he's stuck here.

*Although if Asami was hurt at all, Elazul couldn't get himself to cry for this arrogant-faced complete stranger.*

[inurviewfinder]

[He'd taken it in his stride, really -- it had been difficult do deny, given what he'd seen the kid do, and wouldn't matter one way or the other in the end. What would matter was how they were going to proceed from here, but there was time still to make those sorts of decisions. For now--

Well, for now it was time to figure out what he was dealing with.]

Hey. [Hi magical boy, he's passing you a washcloth and a piece of soap now.] If you're going to insist on sitting there, make yourself useful.

[liesnlibel]

[ The funny thing is, when it's common knowledge your not-boyfriend brings down UFOs on the rare occasion when he's not engrossed in his underworld takeover hobby, you really stop wondering about which goon shred which equipment piece along with the last slivers of your dignity and delivered you in the dragon's lair without much of an idea of how you really got there.

Because that's what you have conveniently non-medicinal - yes, no matter what you tell the bribed airport people, Asami - drugs for! ...and shiny objects.

Like the sterling tap he's photographing right now. Because, really. Shiny. ]

Son of a - did you know this is gold-plated?

[ Did you know magpies can sense gold from across the city?

Unfortunately, they can also spot very obvious blood traces once they realize it is not, in fact, a whacky error caused by a dysfunctional filter. ]

...that's - that. Yours? Yours, or...? Right. Yours?

[inurviewfinder]

Are you concerned? [Where "concern" is clearly the kind of mistake that ends costing Takaba both his clothes and his dignity; not that he'll get to keep either tonight, regardless. Asami has plans.

He's not hurt -- well, scratch that, he's mildly bruised, but mostly this stems from the fact that dislocating a man's jaw is hard on the knuckles. Takaba doesn't need to know these things; in fact, Takaba doesn't really need to know anything at all.

Asami drops his cigarette into the ashtray and toes open the drain switch. As the water level begins sinking around him, he rises and reaches for the shower faucet. Given the literal bloodbath on hand...]

You should stay here tonight. [Casually, as he's rinsing. Takaba's lack of choice in the matter is implied.]

[ponytail]

[ Suddenly, in Asami's face: a pair of gigantic, jiggling breasts in a really tight and white t-shirt. It should be noted that he is close enough to see - well, feel with his face actually - that titzilla doesn't believe in bras. It's a good thing she seems to have the special ability of defying gravity. Or at least her breasts do.

Hilda, for her part, tries to remain as calm and collected as anyone possibly could in her position, and tries to find answers. ]

...You're not part of the Elite Four, are you?

william murderface, metalocalypse

[pisses]

[ Since Murderface is the only member of Dethklok who never gets laid, he can be found lying on his back in bed, trying to give himself brain. ]

[dethjournal]

[pisses]

-- Nathan?! The *PINCH HARMONIC* are you doin' here?!

[ There is an awkward pause that lasts ten seconds and then Murderface goes right back to trying to autofellate himself. He's so close to wrapping his lips around his schlong that his mustache is tickling the tip. ]

Dammit! My *PINCH HARMONIC* neck can't -- nnghh!! -- reach!

toki wartooth | metalocalypse

[notabumblebee]

[ Toki carefully writes a note. It reads:

HELLO WISHING FAIRIES I WOULD LIKES PRETTY GIRL TO BE MY FRANDS AND LIKES ALL THE THINGS I LIKES AND MAKES SKIWSGAARS JELLOUS AND HAS BIG TITTIES THAT SMOTHER SMALL CHILD

THANK YOU
TOKI WARTOOTH
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Then the second guitarist of Dethklok carefully wraps the note around a rock that he'd prepared for this occasion and threw it as hard as he could out the window. ]

[arpeggiosfromhell]

[ Suddenly-- ]

Uh . . . Tokis, what ams I doings in your rooms?

[naughtynoggin]

*And poof! There's a white-haired, fair-skinned dullahan in black armor standing in his room. She has her helmet (and her head) on, with only her face and hair visible. She also happens to have a decent rack and wide hips to boot!*

...?

*Really, her keywords say it all.*

Dawn | Pokemon Platinum

[dawning]

[ Dawn's busy moaning as she's dry humping (stripped down to her very cute undies) a body pillow that has a certain blonde's picture taped to the front.

She's certainly not being quiet. ]

Re: Dawn | Pokemon Platinum

[garchamp]

*And Cynthia, meanwhile, was on the beach in Unova.

Only, she is not, now.

And it takes her a moment to realize where she is (a bedroom), who she's with (Dawn), and what the younger trainer is doing (...riding a body pillow, with. Um. Okay.

Cynthia is just going to blink.* ...Dawn?