No Filter

[memewrangler]

The No Mouth Filter Meme

Who said filters are just for cigarettes and coffee? They keep us from bursting out stupid and rude thoughts out of our pieholes every second of our lives. But what if that filter was gone, and you couldn't control what your mouth said? You'd end up telling your boss that you hate his hair, or your neighbor that you want to bang them twenty ways until Sunday. Good thing we have self-control, huh?

Well, not today! For some reason, you can't stop yourself from randomly saying your innermost thoughts during regular conversation! You don't know what triggers it or how to stop it, but before you know it, you've confessed to having hentai as your wallpaper. Honesty is the best policy... except when it gets you in trouble!

Rules:

• Post with your character's name and canon on the subject line, indicate preferences as needed
• Top comment is implied to be the one with the broken filter, but it can be the tagger, or both, depending on your own preferences
• Tag other people
• Have fun!!

Comments

[ignoringjohn]

Of course she wouldn't. Hadn't she just placed on his desk a Tiffany ring worth 48 thousand pounds just this week? A gift from a minister who was being investigated for fraud? If she ever lied to Mycroft Holmes it had been be for an extremely good reason and a lie she herself could believe in order to carry it off.

Took another sip of tea. Was this just a complement that would lead to his other more impassioned confessions? Six hours nothing counted. He had done the same for her...a situation with had degraded as she had been locked in a room and quietly went to pieces, stammering out confessions Aunt Agatha would have wanted to hear. How was the doc to know her aunt locked her in the closet under the stairs?

[notstartingwars]

He sighed. "Well I've already lost the rest of the business day. See if you can have me sedated. That would be much better than letting me prattle on about cake and shagging you for several hours in a row."

Mycroft glanced back up at her. "Unless I can actually have them. Preferably both, but if I had to choose then to hell with the cake."

[ignoringjohn]

Activated her phone and ordered the slices of cake. Both a biometric scan and traditional password to get through. Glanced through thick eyelashes, "I liked your first idea better."

Six hours and nothing counted...for him.

[notstartingwars]

"My desk? Probably not, but hope and cocks both spring eternal you really should ask to have me sedated. Either that or you should get a dose yourself, that way you might tell me if I actually have a chance with you or if I should fuck off... "

Back to the facepalm. "Sedation, please."

[ignoringjohn]

"You'll miss out on cake. And I won't share if you're sleeping." Legs crossed, she munched the chicken salad sandwich. Quite good actually and paired nicely with the white tea. "Besides, I would never tell you to 'fuck off', if, mind you, I was going to say something like that, other words would be found.

[notstartingwars]

"I'm not exactly putting my usual amount of effort into finding elegant ways to say things. If you could, you're better at it than I am."

Chicken salad? Well, Mycroft was hungry and he might as well eat. "When I was young and foolish, I taught Sherlock the advanced art of the food fight. Primarily, how to avoid getting caught at it. I've lived to regret that."

[ignoringjohn]

She assumed that they would discuss the fraternization rules and potential resolutions to them, after an initial statement (or showing) of interest. Technically, even if it didn't count as far as being held against him, he had made the first move, or at least thrown up a warning flag that he had...or was considering it. It was a tempting train of thought to follow, except what she said counted. Oh he was right about dosing herself so they could skip past all of that...except they would devolve into places she wasn't certain they wished to go right now this second.

His change of topic was a left turn, "What else did you teach him?"

[notstartingwars]

"Far too much, and not enough." Chewing did keep his mouth full for several seconds. That was beneficial in a way, but it gave him far too much time to think.

"But I can tell you don't find the topic nearly as interesting as hearing about my inappropriate sexual fantasies. I had imagined you'd recoil at hearing such lascivious things from me, but you're taking it in stride rather than being disgusted."

[ignoringjohn]

"And you are, as always, perceptive," nor wrong in the least. He was startling frank. Frank in a Sherlock fashion, except Mycroft wasn't using what he learned to tear her apart...yet. Played dumb with Sherlock, as if she didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about, wearing an expression perfected under Aunt Agatha's interrogations and suppositions. Teflon. That blankness would never fly here. Anna provided a way out, "Fantasies aren't necessarily something one might actually like to do in real life, given the ramifications."

[notstartingwars]

"I'm sure I'd like to, given the right circumstances, but that doesn't matter at all, does it?" Mycroft settled against the table, chin in one hand, smiling like a silly schoolboy who doesn't know enough to be ashamed of himself.

"Not only do you realize you're perfectly safe from me actually making such inappropriate requests, but it seems you're emotionally secure about your own attractiveness. Enough to find my fanciful ideas flattering rather than insulting?"

[ignoringjohn]

That was an interesting question. Would Doris feel the same way? The woman was on the plainer side, but she was friendly and goodhearted. No, he was wrong on that point, even if it was a complement by another door. "My security with my looks and outward presentation does not necessarily affect whether or not your ideas are pleasing."

All carefully worded, hypothetical, and leaving open all sorts of possibilities. Her words counted. A six hour long flirtation...certain she'd never make it.

[notstartingwars]

"Not my point at all. If anything, your stunning good looks should make you less comfortable. You're far more susceptible to shallow, predatory attention and therefore are forced to be skeptical of the intentions and motivations of any given admirer."

Now he was more casual and blithe about the entire topic than he usually was about... anything. Typically Mycroft put in a huge amount of effort choosing his words, no matter how trivial the topic. No reason to bother right now.

[ignoringjohn]

Laughed. "For your benefit, I attempt seduce ministers on a daily basis. Those whose eyes wander are the very definition of shallow and predatory, many of whom hope to use their position to corrupt and gain influence. You however," speaking plainly, "You have had ample opportunity and have taken no advantage."

[notstartingwars]

"Nonsense. I've had ample opportunity to ruin everything for the both of us by making the even slightest suggestion of a possible dalliance. I'm afraid that your right to respectful treatment in your place of work, and my obligation to provide it, supersedes any other factors which might otherwise create the false impression of an 'opportunity.' Really, any such situation is an opportunity for me to prove your trust in me is sound, more than anything else." This really was a fun exercise. Mycroft rather enjoyed blathering on about trivial matters, though his audience tended to loathe it.

[ignoringjohn]

Still not saying yes or no, she willingly discussed what he brought up, as it seemed to be on his mind and not something he could let go of just yet. At least he was no longer begging for sedation, that combination had not yet been tried on him.

"If you were in full control of your facilities, I might feel pressed to agree. However, as you are not, perhaps your mind has gone back to check a door you thought had been locked." Leaned forward to refill her cup of tea. Eyebrow lifting asking if he also wished for some.

[notstartingwars]

"Discussing these fanciful notions is harmless only because they have no relationship to reality. I've often thought about being an astronaut on a faster-than-light speed spaceship, as well. Or a ninja, I've always wanted to be a ninja..."

Mycroft's grin turned silly again. "... because Sherlock wanted to be a pirate. Do you know the reference?"

[ignoringjohn]

Shook her head, it sounded like a quote she ought to know even if she murmured, "Or a secret samurai." Not a movie quote, but something she heard someone say once. Wondered where his mind was wandering. When younger, he would have had to work on his physical skills to have attempted to join a space program. "You fenced in school?" Debate and chess club, she would also suppose. Had a nearly irrepressible urge to ask if he ballroom danced.

[notstartingwars]

"I could hardly have avoided fencing lessons, though I did try my best. At one point, a classmate put together a crude effigy and left it in the dining hall with 'Mycroft 'the human pincushion' Holmes' scribbled on it."

She had planted the idea of childhood nicknames in his mind, unfortunately. Mycroft frowned at himself, though with far less vehemence than he had when actually saying offensive things.

[ignoringjohn]

"Who was it, sir?" asked lightly. The question itself wasn't, however. Anna liked to find what was lost and forgotten and was happy to bring them out into the light. Granted she was never the one shining a spotlight on them, but she would attempt to make it possible.

[notstartingwars]

"Bless you, my dear. Your protective instinct has always been far stronger than your ability to embrace a broad perspective. He was no one of consequence. It was actually quite funny, and quite possibly the highlight of his entire academic career!" It wasn't quite funny enough to make Mycroft laugh, of course, but that might not be physically possible.

"In contrast, Sherlock was an absolute demon on the piste. Fencing is yet another example of his squandered potential. He could have been a world class champion, even a legend in the sport, had he deemed it worthy of his time."

[ignoringjohn]

"Fencing, shooting, violin..." listing Sherlock's demonstrated physical and artistic skills. His hand eye coordination was impressive and just seemed to come naturally without any practice. If she had met that brother first, she would have had been drawn to that, except it was considered his right. His mind wouldn't have been enough to keep her interested. "Where did you excel?"

[notstartingwars]

The list went far beyond that, but why dwell on it? Mycroft raised his eyebrows at the odd question. "Everything that mattered, of course."

[ignoringjohn]

"Tell me." What she might consider, he might toss away. "What matters?"

[notstartingwars]

"You know all about my capabilities. I haven't bothered to develop any hidden talents."

Mycroft pressed his lips together, hoping to hold down both the smirk and the next statement. "Though I have had a great deal of sex, particularly at uni. I like to think I've become rather competent in the bedroom. Or out of it."

[ignoringjohn]

She believe he might have shown her everything, but not that she actually caught or understood some of it, especially early on.

"A matter of putting together reactions and matching them to preferences?" A cause and effect checklist? Or tossing out the lists and actually enjoying something without overly engaging his mind?