bakerstreet | ✖ I'll Look Out for Them

✖ I'll Look Out for Them

✖ I'll Look Out for Them ✖
a "secondhand" shipping meme

They were your best friend, your comrade, or even someone you simply owed a debt to. Or maybe, unfortunately, you were the one that put them in danger that lead to their demise. No matter what they were to you in life, in their death, you feel as if you have one duty to them. They left behind someone, someone they loved more than anything. This was their significant other, yet you promised your dying companion (or you discerned yourself) that you would look after them. Take care of them, maybe, but at least look after them; it's the least you can do.

It will not be easy, especially not at first. The one left behind will be grieving, of course, and, so, perhaps, will you. There may be some contention, depending on the situation, and, if you did not know each other well before, some awkwardness. Still, in this time where there is nothing and no one to cling to, when the world has been thrown off its axis for them, both of you may find a sort of comfort and solace in this new routine.

That will not last, either.

Soon, feelings begin to change towards each other. Edges soften, people are seen in a new light. A small warmth blossoms between the two of you in this cold world. It takes root and grows, and grows, and grows...

Until you're left with questions and possibly even guilt at this arrangement. How much of this is real and how much is the grieving process? Are you just a replacement for the one they lost?

Is this what their lost love would have wanted?

✖ Comment with your character, canon, and preferences, including preferred role.
✖ Reply to others and use the RNG.
✖ Feel free to be as liberal with the interpretations of pretty much anything in this meme. Make it AU. Make up somebody they both know. Have them be total strangers. There's options for everything.

Promise ✖ You told them you would take care of their lover, no matter what. You intend to follow through with that.
Close ✖ What are friends for if not taking care of unfinished business?
Debt Owed ✖ Kindness or favor has to be repaid, even if it's an investment in someone else.
Atonement ✖ Whether or not you particularly cared for the person who's gone is irrelevant. You just need to make up for past sins.
No Good ✖ You're taking care of the one left behind, but not out of good intentions. There may be ulterior motives here - no, there are definitely ulterior motives here. Or maybe this is the one good thing you've done in your life.
Guilt ✖ It's your fault that you're here and their significant other isn't. It's a paltry repayment.
Bearer of Bad News ✖ You can't blame them for wanting to shoot the messenger. You are telling them their lover is dead.
Related ✖ In days past, the living partner would be cared for by their dead partner's family. As a sibling or cousin of the deceased, you want to continue that tradition and take care of "family."
Wo/man Up ✖ Actually, their lover isn't dead, they're just dead to you, unable or unwilling to take care of business. You're stepping up.
Friends ✖ You were all friends before, so it's only natural for you to want to look out for them now.
Derisive ✖ ...this is the person they loved so much? This is who you're supposed to protect? Pathetic.
Resentful ✖ You can never forgive them. They're the reason your lover is dead, no matter how they treat you.
What They Saw in You ✖ You're beginning to see why someone would love them, how they'd want to give up their old ways and change. It's almost...nice.
Warming Up ✖ If you didn't get along at first, the claws are being put away now. It's better to at least be civil, isn't it?
Still in Danger ✖ Whatever killed one half of the pair is still out there, and the other half is in danger themselves.
Other Complications ✖ Not only did your mutual acquaintance leave behind a lover, but also children. You find yourself getting closer and closer to them, too, even if they aren't yours.
Compromised ✖ You can't look after them with a level head. You love them.
Can't Love Again ✖ You've lost before. You can't risk losing again, can you?
Out of the Dark ✖ One or both of you find yourselves in a hole. You can barely eat, hardly sleep, and depression has taken hold of you. Together, though, you may find the light and a way out of despair.
First Time ✖ Simply what it says. You two have taken your relationship to the next level.
Changed ✖ Before, you were bitter. Hard. Jaded. Now, helping someone - specifically, helping this person - has brought a new kind of joy into your life. You could get used to it. Easily and dangerously used to it, to be brutally honest. You shouldn't allow it.
Living Together ✖ You can take care of them more throughly if you're in the same place as they are, obviously.
Hidden Jealousy ✖ When their lover was alive, you were jealous of everything they had - including the fact that they had the person you're looking after now. Admitting this may make you feel like the most awful person in the world.
Secrets Revealed ✖ Eventually, your involvement with the death of their beloved will come out, and they will never be able to look at you the same way.
Dependent ✖ Replacing one unhealthy habit with another, you've become utterly dependent on your relationship with your caretaker, your guardian, your lover.
Won't Be a Replacement ✖ You can't help but feel as if you're merely serving as a stand in for what they've lost. It's understandable, yet you still can't allow yourself to be that and only that.
Not Really Gone ✖ What is dead should stay dead, but what if who you thought was gone isn't really out of the picture? Will they be happy with finding someone else so cozy and in love with their special someone?
The Same Mistakes ✖ You're falling into the same patterns that lead to their death. Will you meet the same fate?
Who's Helping Who ✖ You think you're taking care of them and helping them through their loss. Is that the case? But who's never been this happy before in their life?
Move On ✖ It's time to put ghosts to rest and let old demons go. You can't let your life become a graveyard.
Tragedy ✖ The ending is unhappy or even deadly for both of you.
Happy Ending ✖ In contrast to the above, you're both able to live as together as happily as you possibly can, whatever can be allowed.
WILDCARD

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[OTA, but I could especially see this working nicely with either a Daichi or a Suga,, past DaiSuga]

[ooc: Hi! I haven't forgotten about our other thread sorry things got busy! I'd love to do this one though, if you'd like.]

[Hello again friend! I hope things aren't too tough on you lately, and of course it's fine that you have rl priorities. So, what are we gonna do with Daichi? Is he dead? Is it reallyAsahi's fault? Maybe there was a car accident and Asahi was driving? I dunno!]

[It's no problem! No, not too much just super busy with college stuff. Hmm, all those are promising. If Daichi was then I could see that causing a rift between them or if Daichi was hurt and Suga tried to help him, but they drifted away because of it. Asahi or Suga could be driving which led to the accident. I'm really flexible with whatever!]

[Well I think it's more interesting if there's an aspect of guilt, though I don't think I want either of them to outright kill Daichi, either lol. So maybe... Daichi isn't dead, but he ended up falling for someone else who he met because of Asahi, and now Asahi feels terrible for ruining Suga's happiness?]

[Yeah me either! lol That would be interesting and maybe he thinks Suga blames him, though knowing Suga he doesn't blame Asahi as much as himself. It can cause tension between them and then they can make up. Or anything along those lines would work too.]

[ooc: Sounds good to me! Maybe this scene is set on the day of Daichi and this random other person's wedding???]

[ooc: Oh man my heart, but that sounds good to me.]

[It was a terrible night. The wedding had been beautiful, with Daichi grinning from ear to ear the entire time, and his blushing, gorgeous bride look especially radiant beside him. The ceremony and the party had both gone off without flaw, and Asahi was relieved that it had been good for the couple.

Mostly, though, he was relieved that it was over. For him, it was a night of torture, watching Sugawara watch Daichi and his new wife, feeling immense guilt for putting his friend in the position of watching a past lover move on in life with someone new. Everyone had thought Suga and Daichi would live and die together, and now it was Asahi's fault, and Asahi's cousin, that got in the way.

The limo pulled away from the venue, and Asahi watched it go before immediately turning to Suga. Hesitantly he approached him, put a hand on his forearm. Suga looked so beautiful in a suit, even though his eyes seemed puffy from crying- other guests probably thought he was just that happy for his best friend. After all, he'd been the best man at the ceremony.]

Suga...? How are you holding up?

[It had to be the hardest day of Suga's life. He spent all day making sure that everything would go without a hitch on Daichi's wedding day. He had to remind himself that he was happy for him, that he found the love of his life, even if it wasn't him...

During the ceremony he couldn't help thinking if they had made up sooner would they still be together. Would they have the life they talked about before that argument when his stubbornness wouldn't let him apologize first. They talked about getting back together when Daichi met his future wife that day they all hung out together. When Suga saw the light in Daichi's eyes, the same light that used to be for him, he knew that they were done as lovers. He was happy that they stayed friends, he was even his best man, it still didn't stop the tears from flowing throughout the ceremony.

Suga wanted to keep it under control too. He wanted to keep up his smile during the ceremony, but it fell so many times. So many times he had to wipe his eyes as he tried to keep up the act that he was happy when he wanted to do nothing more than cry in his pillow about missing such a big opportunity in his life.

When the limo pulled away from the venue he felt relieved, but very guilty after. He was his best man and he was supposed to be happy on this day. Yet, he couldn't stop thinking about himself.

Some best man he was.

Suga didn't know how long he let his mind wander when someone touched his forearm. He was going to quickly try to dry his eyes when he noticed it was Asahi. Asahi looked very handsome in his suit which started to blur in front of him with a new wave of tears.]

Well, I didn't break down during the ceremony, so okay I guess. I...[He trailed off as his tears started rolling down his cheeks again.] I-I'm sorry I can't stop crying I just...I'm happy for him. I am, but it hurts. It really does. [He whispered as he dried his eyes again. Now that the ceremony was over he didn't have to hide anything, yet he felt worst for that.

It just wasn't his day.]

[Asahi's heart hurt looking at the heartbroken mess Suga had become; even though he was stunning in his suit, the pain in his eyes negated all of the class and sophistication that usually came so naturally to Suga.

The truth was, Asahi had fallen for Suga back when they were in high school. When Asahi quit the volleyball team, and Suga pleaded with him to come back. When he sent Asahi that perfect, careful toss, and then smiled at him with such light in his eyes when his spike scored. He'd kept the secret close to his chest for years, at first because it was obvious Suga liked Daichi, then because he and Daichi were dating, and finally because now he was responsible for Daichi's meeting and marrying someone else. Asahi didn't want anyone to think he threw his cousin at Daichi intentionally, when nothing could be further from the truth; he was fully prepared to take his secret love to the grave, if it meant Suga's happiness.

But there was no happiness left. Just him and Suga and so many spilled tears.

Maybe it was selfish of him to take advantage of the moment, but Asahi couldn't help himself; he pulled Suga into his broad chest and held him there tightly, inviting Suga to cry on him.]

I-I... I can't even begin to imagine, Suga.

[Suga didn't blame Asahi for what happened. It's not like it happened when they were together. They were broken up at the time and things just happened. Sometimes life happened that way, Suga just wished he could stop crying about it. That he could use this moment and be happy for once when he couldn't even muster up a smile let alone a fake one.

When Asahi pulled him against his warm broad chest he couldn't help it. His tears started flowing as he gripped Asahi's suit jacket.]

I-I was so dumb to think...to think that Daichi w-wouldn't find someone else. T-That I could a-actually be with him...I should have a-apologized...or d-done something. I was just so mad that day and...and...stubborn...no w-wonder he moved on! [He sobbed against Asahi. Suga always tried his hardest to keep himself together, no matter what situation when he couldn't this time.] I-I knew it...w-why would he stay...why would a-anyone...[It was one of those thoughts that traveled through his mind throughout the whole day. He tried his hardest to keep those thoughts away when he couldn't today. He was too tired to keep up his smile today.]

[Asahi's helplessness became frustration, especially at himself, but when Suga started to put himself down, the anger that was calcifying in Asahi's gut, at everything, burst forward.]

How can you say that?! You're fucking perfect, Suga. You're incredible, you're beautiful, you're kind, you're... perfect. It was my fucking fault! I introduced them, I was the one who didn't tell my cousin to back off, I was the one who let you down!

[As suddenly as the rage came on, Asahi slumped, and realized where he was; his hands were on Suga's shoulders, squeezing him hard, and he was practically yelling in his face. His expression dropped, and Asahi felt his eyes burn with tears.]

Oh Suga... no, no, Suga, I'm sorry, no. I didn't mean to yell at you...!

[Suga's eyes widened at Asahi's outburst. Did Asahi really see him like that? It was one of the few things to snap him out of sadness as he stared at Asahi. The way he talked it was so passionate and left no room for question. His hands squeezed him, but it knocked the cloud from around his mind. Was Asahi always this strong? Did he always have this side under the normally quiet, timid side?

As soon as that side appeared, it left and Suga saw the tears in his eyes. Suga shook his head. While he beat himself up all day, he couldn't imagine how Asahi felt. Sure, he could have gotten mad at him, tell him that it was his fault when he really didn't stop Asahi's cousin from talking to Daichi. He held out the hope that they would get back together again. He didn't take for account that someone else would catch his eye. He didn't know how long Asahi held this inside either.

Suga shook his head as he reached up and dried his eyes.]

No, I needed something to wake me up. It still hurts, a lot, but I don't blame you. I could have said something, but I didn't. I really didn't think it would happen, so I didn't think much about it, until it happened. I couldn't break them up. Daichi looked so happy...I couldn't...

[Suga sniffed, giving Asahi a tired smile.] But...is that how you see me? Really? Y-You think I'm perfect?

[Suga was smiling at Asahi, and his eyes were soft and warm even though they were swollen and red-rimmed. It made guilt curl up in Asahi's gut again, and he had to look down at their shoes because he couldn't handle Suga giving him that kind of smile while he was the reason for Suga's pain.]

O-of course... [He murmured pathetically, his hands shaking on Suga's shoulders. If he cried now, if he took that from Suga too, he would hate himself so much.] You are perfect...

[It wasn't his normal smile, but it's been the easiest one he got out all day. He felt Asahi's hands shaking on his shoulders, he reached up and took them. He really needed something like this. While he didn't normally take such compliments as easily today he just needed to hear something like that.

Man did that make him feel bad. He felt like he was using Asahi the way he liked the way it sounded so much. Suga took a chance and leaned against his chest again.]

I'm not but...but...[Man, he felt his tears build up again as he looked up at Asahi again.] R-Really? H-How? Can...can you tell me again? [He hated to use Asahi like this, but he just really needed to hear it. He needed to know that he was someone desirable, someone that a person would date, maybe even marry some day...]

[Asahi looked down at Suga, tucked under his chest and giving him a desperate plea for more, and felt his heart stutter in his chest. He wanted to give Suga more than just his words. He wanted to glide his fingers in Suga's hair, to tilt his head down and kiss the lips he'd dreamt of for close to ten years. But he couldn't, not with Suga in such a vulnerable place.]

Tell you that you're perfect? That your laugh is like bells chiming, and your eyes are always warm and inviting, and your hands are so gentle and nurturing...? [Asahi trailed off shyly, feeling a little sheepish for lapsing into poetry. But he steeled himself and then continued.] Daichi got the raw end of the deal. Whoever you give your heart to, they're so lucky.

[Suga wasn't one to ask or plea for compliments, but he couldn't help it. He wanted, no, he needed to hear it. He pressed his face against Asahi's chest, giving a shaky laugh from his words. Asahi thought that much about him? Did his laugh really sound like that? Were his eyes warm? Were his hands really gentle? He blinked up at him, he never thought he would hear such a tone from him, about Daichi no less.]

Really? You'd think they would be the lucky one? That...that someone would accept my heart even when I'm being stubborn. [A few tears rolled down his cheeks without him stopping them as he sniffed again. He didn't know how good it felt to hear something like this. He may not have felt such a way for Asahi, but he did value their friendship.

He just didn't know he felt such a way about him.

Suga sniffed as he rested his cheek against his chest again. Asahi was so warm it was easy to forget about today. To forget about everything he had to do to smile, to not breakdown during the ceremony, and to think about himself again...]

They would have to be stupid not to.

[Asahi said this fiercely, with a certainty that came from years and years of knowing and loving Suga. His usual insecurities were buried beneath a protective instinct. Even his desire for Suga took a backseat to the need to protect him, and make him stop crying.]

Maybe you should spend the night with me...? I don't want you going home alone.

Asahi...

[Suga didn't know how to respond. Asahi said it in such a fierce tone that he could believe him. Asahi really cared a lot for him didn't he? The Asahi in front of him almost different from the one he's known since high school. Suga opened his mouth to decline when he didn't want to spend the night crying and possibly drinking to try to forget everything. He nodded as he wiped his eyes.]

I don't have a change of clothes. Is that alright?

[He was glad for the invitation. He really didn't want to go home alone.]

[No preferences! Feel free to PM this journal to work out stuff or if you have questions.]

[canon and cross canon welcome! It would be very interesting with him.]

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Azumane Asahi | Haikyuu!!

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starter!

Oh my heart! But this was great!

Re: Oh my heart! But this was great!

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