memeconsolidation (
memeconsolidation) wrote in
bakerstreet2016-02-06 10:07 pm
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Kissing Scars
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Despite the romanticism surrounding the emotion, it can be difficult to be loved completely — not just the beautiful parts of us, but also the sad parts, the injured parts, the hidden and less-than-pleasant parts. There are marks on us, both physical and mental, that we'd often rather forget. The mental ones can just be easier to hide. As for physical scars, they can be off of our minds some of the time, but that's exceedingly hard to do in more intimate, close moments. Whether it's to your dismay or otherwise, your partner is not looking away and ignoring your scars. To the contrary, they're providing attention in a way most heavily associated with tenderness: kissing. It may be an accidental slip off target, or they may be trying to show you that what you've done and who you've been don't matter to them now. Does the gesture touch you? Make the walls come up once again because of the memories that are dredged from somewhere you'd rather no go? A mixture of both? The wound has long closed, yet the pains remains; these days, however, there's someone who may be willing to help you bear it.
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You... don't have to say that...
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[ and he hesitates for a moment. raising one of his gloved hands. ]
When I touch you with these hands, who do you think of?
[ those burned hands. when he grips that burnt back of his. ]
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[But was it, really? He liked to think so, but... weren't they marked as a result of the same person's actions?]
I... think of you... of course...
[He'll take his hand, slip fingers up into the glove to touch skin to skin, but won't pull it off this time.]
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[ they were scars of the past. scars brought on, willingly or not, from a man they were bound to. he touches the scar that nobunaga made on souza to claim him, and souza touches the scars that are left over from those flames he fanned that claimed them.
yagen smiles faintly as he touches his skin, shifts to remove the glove. red skin, discoloured and stretching across the back of his hands. it isn't bad enough to disfigure him, but it's enough. a reminder.
he reaches out to lace their fingers together, holding their hands between them both. ]
When I touch you. That scar. I think of you. I think of how it must hurt. I think of how I want to protect you from things that hurt you. I think... [ and he pauses a moment, to gather his thoughts, as if he's coming to terms with them himself. he's a very simple sword, so he's never had to think too hard on why he does things... ]
...I think 'I love him'.
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[He still insists, despite everything, even though when Yagen removes his gloves and laces their fingers together, he rubs lightly over the smaller sword's marks.
He hated the man who caused them, but he couldn't hate Yagen for his loyalty to him, and the burns - the scars - he suffered as a result of that loyalty were taken on willingly.
It's different.
Many of them at the citadel had burned or broken in the past, and not many of them endured lasting scars because of it, but there they were. Two of few. Marked so deeply that it reflected on their spirits.
He sighs. Pulls one of Yagen's hands to his lips so he can take his turn to kiss gently.]
I think... you deserve someone who... ah-... can... appreciate your love...
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You appreciate me.
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What... makes you think I do...
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[ a soft chuckle. how is he supposed to explain that? ]
Your worry, when I get you to smile, the way you hold me.
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[A soft sigh and he very nearly relents.]
Would... be better... for you.
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[ a soft laugh. ]
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[A sigh. He's giving up, and it's obvious. Ah.]
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[Even the part that denies him?]
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[ even the part that tries to. ]
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I won't ask why...
[But. Why. Frustrating!!]
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[He doesn't need another 'I love you' right now, Yagen.]
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[Which is better than displeasure, at least... probably.]
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