(no subject)

[ringomogirebeam]

the ANSWERING MACHINE meme!



►Post a comment with your character, which will act as their answering machine or voicemail or what have you.
►Others will comment, leaving a message for your character!
►Blow up their voicemail, leave rude or chain messages, be creative!
►Feel free to answer back, or play phone tag.

Comments

The Master/Doctor Who

[ofdrumsthesound]

"Ooh, this person has a cell phone! How nice! I guess it's mine now." Chewing sounds. "Bloody primative, but better than nothing. I wonder if I could turn it into a lasdriver. Wouldn't that be nice . . ."

There's a moment of thoughtful silence. Then, "A laser screwdriver with a built-in phone, press the wrong button and it lasers your brain! Brilliant! Now how do you get this thing open?"

There's a mrow sort of sound. "What? Oh. Hiya kitty. You like back alleys too, then? I bet you're hungry too, eh kitty? Want to share the tasty person? No? Oh well . . . now where was I? Oh, laserphone. Right. We can use it to zap rats. I bet you like rats.

"Hey, is this thing on? It is, isn't it--"

BEEP.

[bloodbonds]

Man, you lucked out. That guy's friend was kinda bland. Only excitement I got out of this girl was her face when she heard that message.

Twilight Sparkle | MLP: FiM

[friendyousohard]

Hello, you've reached Twilight Sparkle. Please listen closely to the following options.

If you're calling with Royal Business, press 1.

If you're calling about an issue involving one of my friends, press 2. Also, I'm sorry.

If you're calling to reserve a book, press 3.

If you're calling for Elements of Harmony business aka saving the world, press 4. But Princess Celestia's probably already called us in.

If you're calling about planning an event that is not a party, press 5.

If you're calling about planning a party, hang up and call Pinkie Pie instead.

If you're calling to review one of my recorded lessons on Friendship, press 6.

If you're calling to challenge me to a magic duel, hang up. I'm not interested. Go away, Trixie.

If you're calling to try to turn me to the side of evil and discord, get back in your statue.

Otherwise, please wait for the beep to record your message.

Beep.

Korra | Legend of Korra

[windless]

Hey, Korra here. Well, I guess technically I'm not here. Probably out trying not to fall asleep during one of Tenzin's meditation sessions...

Anyway, the point is, I'm not here right now, so leave a message!

[comesinhandy]

Hey, Korra. This is Asami. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?

SHIKI Tohno | Tsukihime

[bloodbonds]

Hah, it's not that hard to figure out after all! Now, all I have to do is press this button and-

BEEP

Steve Rogers | MCU | OPEN

[soldier_side]

[There is a long pause.]

Hello? Is this thing on?

[beeeep]

[zen_en_vert]

...Steve, you need to let me help you rerecord that. Um

[Forgot what the message was going to be.]

Oh. Uh- it's Clint's birthday next week. Call me, we're planning... I don't know. We're planning.

sigyn; myth / mcu-ish / ota

[burdenof]

[There is a long silence.]


Was I supposed to start, then? [Distant chatter.] Oh! I'm Sigyn and -

[Beeep.]

Red | Pokemon Game 'verse

[ellipsisspeak]

[there's a bout of silence before the recording is heard]

...Hey. This is Red. M'not around. Leave a message.

beeeeeeep

trollface.jpeg

[goldentouch]

Yo. Just calling to let you know I caught a Rattata. Top percentage. Peace out, bro.

Riza Hawkeye || FullMetal Alchemist

[miss_sniper]

You've reached the desk of Riza Hawkeye. I'm not around, leave a message.

[Beep.]

[goldentouch]

Hey, just calling to give you a heads up, but I snagged your lunch by mistake on the way out. I'll be back with it in fifteen minutes, but for the love of god, if you got mine, don't open it. It isn't safe.

Axel | Kingdom Hearts

[flared]

Not here. You know the drill.

[DOOT]

alex "havok" summers | xm:fc

[inhavok]

( insert some Batshit Insane Screaming here. the I'm-Blowing-Your-Eardrums-Off kind that you saw in x-men: first class. that's right.

and then a small pause, then some snickering.

though it's obvious that Alex himself is trying not to laugh, his partner-in-crime definitely isn't hiding it. )

Sean, what the hell--?!

( beep. )

[youlikefishilikefish]

[ still fucking laughing over here ]

Hey, Alex, I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you:

I was totally right.

Best message ever.

You're welcome.

Dante (Genderswapped) || Devil May Cry

[guns_and_swords]

You've reached the Devil May Cry. This is Dante and I'm not in. Leave your name, number and a brief description of the demon you want me to kill. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.


Unless it's Lady. If it is, you'll get your money as soon as I can.

[And instead of a beep, you get a guitar riff.]

thor | mcu

[subecho]

Leave your message after the

[ biip. ]

Good, whimpering people of the metal box -

[ biiiiiip. ]

- and of the shrill sounding tongue. I am Thor, keeper of the bolt, come to give you the audience you have sought of me.

[ biiiiiiiiiiiip. ]

I do not yet understand your language and its iron born trill.

[ biip ]

But we shall meet together as friends and protectors -

[ biiiip ]

- to the glory of Asgard. A... biip to one and all!

[soldier_side]

Hello? Thor, is that---

[beeep]

[he hesitates]

Hello, Thor. Seems like I got your answering machine. Sorry. Not sure if you're in the neighborhood but I was thinking it'd be swell for us all to grab a bite to eat when, you know, the world isn't ending...Um, feel free to call me back...Goodbye.

[He pauses awkwardly before hanging up, because talking to a machine instead of a real person is still a strange idea]

Souji Seta | Persona 4

[goldentouch]

Not here. Leave one.

-beep-

WHOOPSI NEED TO LOOK AT MY TAGS BEFORE PRESSING ENTER

[ebihara]

Sorta rude, don't you think? At least be a little nicer to the people leaving you messages!

( she's not mad rly she's just... herself. yep. )

Touko || Pokemon B/W

[nuvema_pc]

This is Touko! I'm probably out catching Pokemon and can't answer. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as quick as I can!


[Beep.]

[goldentouch]

Hey, Touko, it's me. Just thought I'd let you know I'd be in Unova for a few days, so I was wondering if that offer to meet up in Nimbasa still stands. Call me and let me know, alright? Take care.

Annette | Castlevania

[alwayskidnapped]

Ah--? I'm afraid that I do not understand what is going on. Maria, did you bring this home--

[ BEEEEEP. ]

lmfao

[vampirekiller]

... Annette is that you? Are you there? What is the matter? Hello?

[Annette is not sure of how to operate the answering machine; Richter can't tell if he's using his phone correctly. Together, this makes for a recorded message that's part Richter's voice, part rustling, and part footsteps and yelling as he leaves for home.]

Canada || Hetalia/Nyotalia

[forgottenation]

You've reached Canada. I'm afraid that I'm not in at the moment but if you leave your name and number I'll call you back as soon as I can.

If you're looking for America, hang up and try a different number. This is her sister.

Bruce Banner | MCU | OTA

[gammabruce]

"This is Dr. Bruce Banner, currently residing at the Stark Tower. If you have a message for me and not Jarvis, or Tony, or Pepper, please leave it here. Thank you."

[Look at him sounding all Professional. It's adorable, really.]

[womanwhobeatyou]

Hello, Dr. Banner. [Yes, she is using her 'aren't you trying so hard to be professional' voice, why'd you ask?]

I expect this pair of ripped purple pants Mr. Stark had sent to me is yours?

Toni Stark (Genderswapped Tony) || MCU

[iamironwoman]

You have reached the life model decoy of Toni Stark, please leave a message.

[Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.]

Richter Belmont | Castlevania

[vampirekiller]

This is Richter Belmont. I would much rather prefer to handle any affairs and business in person or through written correspondence as this recording device is not very reliable. It cuts my words off, though I do not understand why, I have not pressed any of the buttons to con---

[BEEEEEEEP.]

[alwayskidnapped]

[ Unfortunately, a kindly old fellow found her phone, discarded and broken.

Even more unfortunate, he's managed to fix it.

With Maria's help, they've at least managed to figure out how to troll phone up Richter, and that's exactly what she's doing. ]

--Richter, I thought that we agreed to get rid of these ridiculous devices?

[ A pause, and then. ]

...If you would please be so kind as to call me back, I would ever appreciate it.

America || Hetalia/Nyotalia

[libertys_lady]

Yo!


Uh huh....



Ya.


Guess what?



This is an answering machine! I bet you've been trying to talk to me already. Anyway, leave a message and I'll call ya back!

[America's going to get her ass kicked for leaving a voicemail message like that, but it's soooo worth it.]

Kagura | Gintama

[16hitmagnum]

[ There's a lot of chewing noises. ]

Huh? Eh?

[ more chewing ]

Gin-chan!!!!! Since when can we afford an answering machine? Can I record a message? Can I? Can I? Gin-chan!!!!

[ beep ]

Tony Stark | MCU

[manofiron]

I'm not here. You know the drill.

[ As an afterthought, because he knows some technologically-challenged people, he adds under his breath; ]

Unless you're an alien. Or from the Land Before Time.

Re: Tony Stark | MCU

[just_a_guy]

There was time in the '40s, Tony.

...


....


Tony? Hello? Tony? Why aren't you talkin-[BEEP]

[itachi_san]

Uchiha residence. Itachi speaking. I can't take your call right now. I'm a little busy murdering my entire clan. Yes, that's what I said. I'm killing my entire family. And Sasuke, if you're listening to this, get your butt home. I need to traumatize you for life before I defect, and to be honest, I'm getting kind of bored. And the bodies are starting to smell...

*beep*

[calling_dr_snakes]

[Is just going to stare at the phone for a bit ninja have those right?]

...You...

...

Have a horrible sense of humor.

*click*

[womanwhobeatyou]

[It's an old message, and not Irene's voice, but Kate's.]

You've reached Miss Adler. Leave a message, and if you've been very bad, The Woman may deign to return your call.

jennifer walters ( SHE-HULK ) | marvel

[panelwalking]

Hello, you've reached Jen Walters, otherwise known as She-Hulk. If this is lawyer type business, my office hours are typically from eight to six, unless there's some bad guys needed their faces punched in. If this has to do with superhero business, however, leave your questions, concerns, and threats here along with your name and number and I'll be sure to get back to you.