bakerstreet | Wrong Number

Wrong Number

The Wrong Recipient Meme

Oops. It happens to all of us. In a hurry, kind of drunk, too tired – for whatever reason, you've sent a text to the wrong recipient and it's up to you to do damage control.

¤ Post with your character. Name, canon and any preferences in the subject line.
¤ Others choose one of the options below and reply to your character with a text message that wasn't intended for them.
¤ Communication or miscommunication ensues?
¤ Profit!

1. talk dirty | "baby, you were such a stud yesterday"
Texting is a great way to make your partner spend the rest of their meeting thinking about exactly how steamy action was last night... Unless you sent it to the wrong number, of course. How to explain that one?

2. those dates | "Don't forget lunch at 2! :-)"
Easiest way to arrange meetings, confirming them or just saying thanks for a good time is by cell. Even easier? To screw it up when the invitation reaches the wrong person... Or perhaps your mishap lands you an entirely new date!

3. anger management | "OMFG, you really are an asshole!"
They’ve pissed you off royally, so someone deserves a piece of your mind. Poor recipient, having to put up with a dressing-down of that magnitude. Especially if it wasn't actually intended for them.

4. my condolences | "Jane, I'm so sorry about your aunt."
Someone lost a relative, got broken up with or didn't get the grades they'd hoped for, so you quickly text them your heartfelt sympathy. Let's just hope that the recipient actually has lost their aunt...

5. well done | "I heard about it from my mom. You go, girl!"
They aced their exams, just got published or they had a baby. Something definitely deserving of your congratulations. Hopefully the one receiving it will appreciate the recognition of something they probably didn't do.

6. auto correct | "Dad says we're having pussy tonight."
A completely ordinary message. The concert was amazing, you're running late... Autocorrect just happened to change one little word into something completely different. Something that’s even more difficult to decipher for the wrong recipient.

7. wildcard | "ok"
Want another scenario, something combined or something completely different? Knock yourself out!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[No need to rush and ruin the surprise~]

We'll hurry right on over!

[He's looked into things since finding out about those particular meetings, of course, so the location is hardly a mystery. He wasn't lying about the "hurrying" part, either, though he lingers outside, keeping an eye on the place from a safe distance away, just to make sure she goes inside first. He'd hate to scare her off before she even sits down.

No, he'll give her just a moment to get settled before he joins her ever so casually, as if he arranged to meet her there in person. (Well, he did!)]

Hi! I hope I didn't keep you waiting.

[ Namie arrives to find the table empty and it's odd, but not odd enough to make her consider leaving. The twins don't always arrive first, so it's nothing too incredibly surprising.

What is surprising, in the most unpleasant way, is seeing Izaya slide into the seat across from her not a full minute after she arrives. It takes little effort to figure out her own misstep and her expression shifts from something neutral to a more irritated look - one that stems both from seeing Izaya and from her own mistake that's led to this. ]

You're wasting my time. You should have said something when I sent the first message.

And pass up a rare chance to enjoy a meal with my trusty secretary? You know, you're really hard to plan a date with.

[Which is one way of saying she should have really just accepted that hot pot invitation way back when, because he will never let her live it down.]

Now, what to order...

[Grabbing a menu, he studies it, all but ignoring her for the moment. If she wants to leave, he's fairly sure he can convince her to stay - though it'd be fine if she doesn't, since he's had his fun. Either way, he's not about to play all his cards right away if he doesn't have to.]

We eat together often enough at your place.

[ She offers no remark on the date comment, instead letting her expression settle back into something calmer.

As tempting as leaving is, she doesn't bother. She's smart enough to know that Izaya's known about her meetings with his sisters for some time. And she's also sure that he'll have similar information if he cares to give it up. It's just a matter of getting him to a point where he's willing to. ]

I take it you've run out of things to do today.

Mhm, I suppose that's true.

[Rather than arguing to the contrary, he just accepts that argument and rolls with it. It's not wrong, after all. It's just not the view he decided to make a show of, himself - and there's no longer any need for that if he's getting what he wants.]

You of all people should know that I'm always busy.

[Admittedly not always to the same degree, but whatever, whatever - his humans are everywhere, and he's always got something or other in the works. That doesn't mean that Namie isn't one of his precious humans, too - and one to keep an eye on from time to time, at that. This is mostly a social call, however, or as close to one as Izaya is likely to get.]

But for you, I'll gladly clear my schedule for a while. [And, as if she wasn't constantly radiating anything from irritation to outright hatred towards him, he looks up to meet her eyes, cheerful as ever.] How about okinomiyaki?

[ That she's giving him what he wants is annoying, but she's been around him long enough that it takes a lot more to reach her breaking point now. In regards to Izaya, anyway. ]

I mean, should I expect you at the apartment or do you still have things to do out here?

[ Her clarification is offered with a sigh. She's well aware of how busy Izaya keeps himself and how he has a hand in nearly everything going on in the city. But she spends enough time with him to know it seems like half of that involves him being stationed at his computer. If more of his day involves being out to bother people in person, she's hardly going to complain about it. ]

I wish you wouldn't. [ It's deadpanned as she meets his eyes, her own narrowing ever so slightly. ] That's fine. Order what you want.

I have one or two things to look into. [Which is as much as he cares to say about that, but the implication is obvious: he'll be out for a while after this.] That said, I should be back before you leave. It'll save you the trouble of locking up~

[Which has little to do with anything, except maybe rubbing in that she'll be seeing him again soon enough. Well, she can't complain. He didn't say a word about everything she did - or didn't - do when he was in the hospital; he expected that much.]

Don't be so cold! [It's quite an accusation, but he laughs it more than says it. There are things she does that manage to annoy him - which is intriguing in itself - but that attitude of hers is easily ignored.] Most people would be glad to have such a thoughtful boss, you know?

[Most people would have run screaming, is more like it. For that matter, he could have probably done better, himself, but she's interesting, and he does enjoy playing with fire a little too much, just barely keeping a safe distance.

She could betray him much more than she has, even if he's taken appropriate measures to ensure his own safety. That, in itself, is entertaining.]

[ What he'll spend his time on once they're done eating isn't something she concerns herself with. All that really matters is that she'll have more time to herself, which is a nice thought until he manages to ruin it with the news that he intends to be back before she leaves.

It makes her consider seeing herself out a little early to meet with the people she actually intended to contact. Assuming, of course, she gets nothing from Izaya. ]

Thoughtful? Have you convinced someone out there to see you like that? [ She annoys him, he annoys her. Their relationship is surprisingly give and take despite the fact that Izaya could have her arrested at any time or she could make much more of an effort to harm him.

While she still dislikes him, there's some base level of enjoyment that makes it worth being stuck where she's at. Most of it comes from meddling where she shouldn't and seeing Izaya pay for it, even if it's an incredibly rare occurrence.

As she considers sliding a foot forward enough to stomp on Izaya's toes - something she won't do, but is nice enough to imagine - the waitress approaches their table and Namie wastes little time in ordering for the two of them. ]

[Weeeell, what she gets out of Izaya depends entirely on her, of course! He'll certainly not offer any information unless she asks, and even if she asks, he'll wait until after they've eaten, at the very least. He doesn't have all that much of the trivial information she'd consider crucial, no doubt: unlike his sisters, he doesn't have enough free time to endlessly stalk (in a manner of speaking~) a person or two. But he'll always make sure to know enough to be able to surprise her. It's rare to catch her off-guard, but that's what makes it fun.]

You make it sound like that's such a hard thing to accomplish. [It's practically dismissive, too lacking in depth to even pretend at modesty, and shockingly blunt as a result - though only for a moment.] That said, it's not exactly pretending. I really do love all humans. But that doesn't necessarily mean I want the same for them as they do - or claim they do.

You should be able to understand that. [Is that really what he's saying, or is he implying the exact opposite? She'd be better off not thinking about that too much, but unfortunately, Izaya will be happy regardless.

As he is about her ordering for both of them, for that matter. Smiling, he puts the menu away with a flourish, but decides not to comment for now. He's got enough pieces moving already.]

[ She'll need an update from his sisters regardless, but what he's willing to give to her will be the deciding factor when it comes to when she needs that update - this evening or the following day. That he may have something that his sisters don't is entirely possible, but his information is likely to be bigger. Something more related to him and his plans, something he considers worth his time. Something that may or may not matter to her at all. ]

You want what entertains you, whether it's good or bad for them. [ She does wonder at times if Izaya knows what love is at all. It's not something she'll question with the way he insists he loves humans even as he drives them toward destruction. She prefers remaining in neutral territory when it comes to her boss.

The suggestion that she understands how he feels is almost enough to make her scoff, but she holds back.

It isn't until the waitress moves away from their table that her full attention returns to Izaya. ]

What do you know about Seiji lately?

I think you've got that turned around... but very well, I'll give you a passing score.

[It's more like he's entertained regardless of whether something's good or bad for them. That said, too much "good" tends to lead to stagnation - and where's the fun in that? Besides, don't people grow the most in adversity? One could argue that he's helping them here, you know!

Not always in a way they want to be helped, of course. He'll readily admit to that. Still, that makes the ones who do want to be helped all the more precious. How many toys out there ask to be played with?

The question is expected, but his expression clouds a little regardless, a sharper edge to his thinning smile. There's no fun in the overly predictable, even if he does have everything he needs to convince her to stay. It feels oddly like rejection.]

Already, huh...?

[He can't even be bothered to hide his displeasure just yet, which no doubt suits her just fine. It irritates him. So single-minded. So predictable. She can entertain him so much better - and then she has the unmitigated gall not to!

Well, that is how it is. Looking away from her, he lets go of his irritation, casting a passing glance at the other customers in the shop.]

That kind of discussion doesn't belong at the dinner table. You might just ruin your appetite!

[Which has absolutely nothing to do with the content of any possible news about Seiji, and everything to do with his own mood being briefly ruined, but the point stands.]

[ His correction earns a dismissive wave of her hand. More often than not, the things that entertain him most are bad for the people affected. And if he's going to get involved, it's never for the sake of something good coming from it. Not good for those involved, anyway.

It's not worth the time she'd waste delving into conversation about it when Izaya dances around things enough that she's bound to come out of it more irritated than when she started.

That's why she skips to the point of this meeting - something the look on his face makes her all the happier to do when it's clear that he dislikes the turn the conversation has taken. ]

Were you expecting me to wait?

[ His displeasure is enough to earn a brief, pleased smile along with her question. Irritating him is almost enough to make her earlier mistext worth it. Not quite when it doesn't last longer, but she still has more time to get under his skin before they part ways. ]

I never said I was hungry to begin with.

[ But she doesn't make any demands about what Izaya knows. She knows he's not going to give anything up unless he wants to, and even then he may want something in return. ]

Expecting, no. But it would nice to see you develop a little. As a human being.

[He says that, but if there's anything he's not expecting, it's that. Those things are rarer in adults, anyway, and Namie in particular -... Well, it's part of her charm. Just as well: he might play with her more seriously than just tricking her into unplanned "dates", otherwise.]

A better question might be: did you expect me to answer, just like that?

[It's a trick question, really. He's not entirely opposed to it, as long as he can get her to stick around a while - which he's fairly sure he can. Regardless, he's curious to see her reaction.]

And if I developed-- [ The word is spoken with some amount of disdain at the thought of doing anything according to what Izaya wants to see. ] --where would my focus shift? To you?

[ It would be a laughable concept if it wasn't something that's already half true. Barring Seiji, Izaya does get most of her attention, even if it's far from the same type. And while he does pay her well for that attention, it's more than she cares to give anyone who isn't her brother. ]

No. But I thought I would give you time to dance around the subject before we finish our meal.

[ Instead of giving him the chance to leave without saying anything about it at all. ]

No way. [He chuckles at the very thought. Oh, he wants her love, as he wants the love of all humans, but that kind of focus, from a person like her, would probably be more trouble than it's worth. It might be novel, and he wouldn't say no to it, but...] In my line of work, it would be far too inconvenient, having a stalker.

[What is it about Seiji that attracts the type? You'd think it was written in the stars or something.]

In that case, I'd hate to disappoint.

[Look! It's almost a promise that he'll actually tell her something! At some point!

As if on cue, a waitress shows up with their food just then, buying Izaya his first delay - but perhaps that was the very reason he acquiesced, of course.]

[ Even using the word 'stalker' is enough to make her bristle, as if he's openly comparing her to Mika for the attention she shows Seiji, and it shows in the tone of her voice as she replies. ] I'm not a stalker. I'm a loving older sister.

[ Who just so happens to pay other people to report back on his every move because she doesn't have the freedom to watch him herself. ]

Somehow I doubt that.

[ The comment is quiet as their food arrives and she lets her mood settle once more. Despite her earlier remark, she is hungry and intends to eat - something that's also good for preventing her from talking to Izaya for a short span of time. ]

[Which is exactly what he was doing, of course, both for effect and because it's close enough to the truth. He doesn't judge, though. It's exactly variations like this that make humanity so much fun.

He chooses not to argue with her regardless, opting only to smile knowingly. It's fun to play with people, less fun to piss them off too much. Constantly walking that fine line will never stop being entertaining, though.]

Well then... Shall we begin?

[Poking his spatula into the okinomiyaki, he expertly detaches a small piece, but doesn't eat it yet. All of that nonsense he spouted about quality time together to the contrary, in the end, he'd rather talk than eat.]

Though I wonder how much you really want me to tell you. The truth can hurt, you know?

[ It's part of the push and pull between the two of them, though Izaya does manage to piss her off more often than she manages to irritate him. She's working on that, trying to narrow the gap between them, but he tends to come out on top more often than not, as he does in most cases.

Even so, she doesn't carry on with the subject. Instead, she follows his example by turning her attention to their food, if only briefly.

What he says is enough to keep her from taking a bite. ]

You know how much I want to hear. Both of us know you don't care if it hurts.

That's harsh... Didn't I say I was a thoughtful boss?

[Not that what he said changes the fact that she's right. Still, he's not entirely insensitive. Hurting her with no chance of some kind interesting reaction would just be boring!

Of course, what he knows is probably not as dramatic as all that, but a little friendly talk about hypotheticals never hurt anybody. Much.]

You want to know everything because you feel like it gives you some measure of control, when in in the end, the more you know only makes you realize how little control you actually have. Isn't that right?

[With that, he finally takes a bite of his food. First move: his.]

Saying it again isn't going to make it true.

[ Hurt isn't something she suffers from often anyway. Anger is more likely to rise up instead, depending on what she hears. That usually drowns out any chance of self-pitying hurt that may come from things she hears.

Izaya's comment does earn a glare, though, as she watches him take a bite. ]

I don't need control. [ A complete lie. She wants control of everything in her life and Seiji's. ] Knowing everything means I can take care of him when he needs it, even when he doesn't ask for my help.

[ She briefly considers saying more, but decides to instead let her focus drop to the food in front of them so she can help herself as well. ]

Oh? But if he needs your help, surely he can ask for it. If he wants it, that is...

[It's a cheap shot, but he indulges in it anyway. For all that it can be fun to twist the truth, it's far more entertaining when the truth is perfect just as it is - the more so when people are intelligent enough to recognize it. Not that he expects her to admit to that, of course.

Admittedly, it's a little difficult for Seiji to contact Namie at the moment, but he's one determined young man, when he actually cares. That's one thing that seems to run in the family.]

[ She knows that's the truth, and it's true that she'll never admit it. There are a lot of truths that exist that Namie refuses to acknowledge aloud - things about the way Seiji feels and about their almost nonexistent relationship. Things that would take her down too far if she did have to acknowledge them to herself or admit them to anyone else.

Which is why Izaya's comment makes her consider stabbing the nearest utensil through his hand. ]

You were right. This conversation is making me lose my appetite.

[That makes him snicker a bit. Even twisted around, it's nice to have her of all people say he's right. That in itself is a victory, and he'll reward her by not pushing any further - for the moment, that is.]

Now, now... Eat up properly so you can maintain your health. You'll be no good to Seiji otherwise, surely?

[Grabbing his spatula again, he cuts off a few more bite-sized pieces, childish amusement fading from his eyes in favor of something darker as sharp metal slides through food. He may or may not be imagining cutting through Shizuo's face in much the same way. If only that animal were as easy to cut up...]

Anyway, I didn't meet you here just to play.

[He'll give her something useful, all right. When he feels like it - which might just be sooner than she thinks, because as much as he's enjoying their little game, he's never had the longest attention span, and he's starting to get tired of it already.]

[ The real reason for the admission is to allow her to lean back, giving up on their meal as she watches Izaya across the table. So the prompting to eat more does little good in making her move back toward the food in front of her. ]

I'll eat later.

[ As if it's something worth telling him. She watches the way the look in his eyes changes, briefly wondering where his thoughts have gone. Luckily, she's sure she's lumped in with most everyone else, so it's unlikely that the look has anything to do with her.

Namie folds her arms across her chest as he speaks, her irritation left aside once more for a more serious look. ]

Are you giving me something I want? Or did you show up to give me something else to do?

You'll ruin your figure, you know. Well, I won't insist...

[Like it's any of his business - but then, that's never stopped him before. There's not much behind the comment, anyway, except maybe a little test. He's got a fairly good idea of what things get to her, but it's fun to test for others. If he just irritates her, well, that serves him just as well, too.]

It never occurred to you that it might be both? [It certainly could be - but, as it happens, it isn't, by most definitions. His interest in her acting or not is purely for the sake of his entertainment, in this case: there's no business involved. Not the way she might think, anyway.] Whether you do something is entirely up to you. I wouldn't recommend it, but... I won't pretend I can stop you.

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