Ye cannot get ye flask.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

TEXT ADVENTURE MEME


You are in a Dreamwidth community on the internet. There are a number of posts on it, each of them containing a number of non-canonical situations affectionately known as "memes." You can't shake the feeling you might have seen this one somewhere before...

There is a post here.

> READ POST

Which one?

> READ LATEST POST

"Congratulations! You are now the player avatar of a text adventure! You have full control of the setting and the environment! The only problem is, you have no control over your own actions! But don't worry, the people responding to you have all bought copies of it and are more than willing to guide you in the right direction! We hope."

> TRANSLATE INTO CLEARER LANGUAGE

So here's the deal: You devise a setting for a text adventure for your character to star in; the people replying to you get to input commands as to what your character actually DOES, and you show the results of said action. And possibly some snark in the process.

Have fun!

>|

Comments

[aw_hawkguy]

[You are eaten by a grue. Made of fire.]

How?! WHY?!

[rovingrobot]

[HAWKEYE can reach the item, but can't see it. KARR can see the item, but can't reach it.]

>

Nanase Haruka | Free!

[nanaharu]

[He quickly imagines himself as a merman half-fish man traversing the oceans on a quest to find the Ultimate Mackerel, starting off by a small island uninhabited by humans. Lead him towards his Good End?]

Rakka | Haibane Renmei

[charcoalfeather]

Multiple versions of this character are available. Please select one before continuing.

[1] Canon
[2] raisetheearth AU

[jasminebloominginshadow]

[well, Jasmine would pick [2], so let's go with that.]

[charcoalfeather]

[2]

Your name is RAKKA YOSHITOSHI! You are a NUMBERED, currently living in SHEPARD'S HAVEN, NEW ZEALAND. Though you started out as just a simple girl, you not only discovered your nature as a HAIBANE, but you also developed into a fierce MAGICAL WARRIOR.

As it seems, it's morning in SHEPARD'S HAVEN, and you have just woken up. For some reason, you immediately get the feeling that the house is emptier then usual. Do you

A: Go investigate
B: Go back to sleep

Peridot | Steven Universe

[easytheysaid]

> You are Peridot. Your mission: to send a simple probe to the planet Earth and reactivate the long disabled Kindergarten there. Yet, time after time your efforts were halted by some small force called "The Crystal Gems". Worst came to worse, and you directly confronted them with the assistance of an escort.

Things went wrong. Somehow, the prisoners escaped and attempted to hijack the ship. Though you bravely held them off, it was to no avail, forcing you to escape in a pod... blasting towards Earth.

And now you've crashed. You don't know where you are, and you're upside down.

>

[phobophage]

>stop sucking

Mogar | X-Ray and Vav

[mogarisready]

You are Mogar, and you are on a mission. Your powers are slowly draining, and soon will be no more. You don't care. No one will get in your way, no one will stop you.

You're standing in a dense forest, many, many bright lights shining ahead of you in the distance. That is your destination.

>

[freshscars]

> You are Kakashi. You are sixteen years old and you are at a grave, the same as every morning. What do you do?

>

[dictator_ko]

You are Moge-ko, the dictator of the fourth floor of the surreal, mad Mogeko Castle. Right now a bunch of cute but perverted and violent cat-creatures called Mogekos are trying not to attract your notice after you just finished crucifying on a cross of blood, torturing, and killing one of them, all for being too loud.

The elevator to the fifth floor which you forced your minions to build is to the north, your cute room can be reached a ways to the east, and there're a bunch of rooms full of Mogekos. You can give orders to your Mogeko minions.

You're bored right now.

>

Bleep | Kill Bill | OTA (Prep for spoilers to an R-rated film)

[breakyourheart]

You are in a text adventure game based on a Tarantino flick; you are free to choose your starting point.

Press a number to begin your roaring rampage of revenge at its corresponding chapter.

[1] "2"
[2] The Comatose Bride
[3] The Man from Okinawa
[4] Showdown at House of Blue Leaves
[5] INVALID OPTION
[6] INVALID OPTION
[7] The Lonely Grave of Paula Schultz
[8] The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mei
[9] Elle and I
[10] The Blood-Spattered Bride

[11] The Lioness and Her Cub

>_

[emmaswans]

>[10]

[enthusianchor]

You are Gai! Ikari Gai! Nobody in the whole world loves Super Sentai more than you do!! You are GokaiSilver, the Gokaigers' sixth member and the most enthusiastic apprentice pirate there ever was! No matter what, you will protect peace on Earth!

Right now you are on the GOKAI GALLEON, in the COMMON ROOM. Obvious exits are GALLEY, DECK, and BELOW DECKS. You are carrying your GOKAI CELLULAR, RANGER KEY, WALLET, and GROCERY LIST.

Joe-san is here, doing sit-ups.

What will you do?

>_

If you don't mind; feel free to ignore

[inheritstheredsouls]

[AkaRed raises an eyebrow. He hasn't seen a text-based game in ages. So, to have one suddenly pop up on his screen, especially about the Gokaigers...

Well, color him intrigued.]

Check Grocery List

Merasmus || Team Fortress 2

[a_magicianinviteshimself]

You are a mighty and POWERFUL wizard. Your roomate is Soldier. He has not done the dishes. How do you proceed?

[threepwood]

> Search dishes

[beepboopson]

>DO DISHES FOR HIM, MAGGOT COMPUTER PROGRAM

Jack Spicer | Xiaolin Showdown

[howiruletheworld]

> Your name is JACK SPICER and you are an EVIL BOY GENIUS. You are also having a VERY BAD day. You just lost a XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN to a bunch of MONK LOSERS and disappointed your IDOL, CHASE YOUNG. If he ever had any hope in you to begin with. Which is doubtful.

The XIAOLIN LOSERS are high-fiving and celebrating their victory over you. What do you do?

>

[folkscallmewander]

[This boy needs to make friends!]

>High five the Xiaolin Monks.

[8bytes]

> You are CHIAKI NANAMI, the SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GAMER. You are currently on an ISLAND all by yourself, in your ROOM filled with various VIDEO GAMES.

You just woke up from your nap. What do you do?

>_

[callbacks]

>assess current snooze levels

daredevil | daredevil

[actuallydaredevil]

You are Matt Murdock, otherwise known as DAREDEVIL. You cannot see your surroundings BECAUSE YOU ARE BLIND. In this vague space of radar-sensed nothingness, you perceive several shapes, some of them human, some of them not.

Your NINJA SKILLS could probably get you out of this situation. What will you do?

futo mononobe | touhou project

[queendoms]

Your name is FUTO MONONOBE. You feel like criticizing the grammar of the ORIGINAL POST, as you would well know how to speak the translationary equivalent of EARLY MODERN ENGLISH. The correct sentence would be 'I'm certainly not going to tell thee.' Stop nitpicking.

But that is neither here nor there.

SELECT A PATH TO CONTINUE:
[1] Canon
[2] Dangan Roleplay Round 3

[forcegalactic]

[In the distant 31st century, Mordecai sits at his personal laptop after a long day of managing his saloon. There's nothing wrong with a middle-aged man playing video games, especially slow-paced adventure games like this one that he just downloaded.

Well, the second choice sounds like an interesting route, but he'll do this in order.]

>[1]